Witcher Upper

by Amy Boyles

  My night was yet unfinished. I swear that Rufus must’ve thought something was up because the orb slid from side to side in my pocket the entire drive back to the bed and breakfast. I held my breath, expecting the thing to wiggle out and fall onto the seat, where he could see it. Then he’d accuse me of keeping the memory spell from him.

  Boy, what a can of worms that would open. But luckily Rufus exited my vehicle none the wiser.

  As I stared at my open cupboard, trying to figure out exactly the best container for the spell, I spied a couple of old mason jars that I’d received from Malene. Once filled to the brim with homemade fig preserves, they now sat empty.

  “Y’all will be perfect.”

  The first one opened easily, and I stuck the talking spell in it, screwed the lid shut and placed it on my kitchen table, figuring that I’d deal with it later.

  The second jar was a different story.

  At first the lid didn’t want to budge, but after a bit of elbow grease and running it under the tap, the hot water seemed to do the trick.

  The faint smell of dust drifted from the jar. I dropped the orb inside, and it bounced around from side to side. After capping it, the ball ricocheted from top to bottom, looking like a lightning bug that desperately wanted to escape.

  Now to hide it. Since my cabinets were never fully stocked, that would be a horrible place to store it. The jar would be seen as soon as the doors opened. I considered hiding it in my closet, but that seemed too obvious. Then it came to me.

  The cabinet in my bathroom, the one under the sink, was a mess—full of curling irons with dangling cords, a box of hot rollers, hair products with crust on their lids. You know how it is—you buy a hair product, use it a few times, store it in a cabinet and forget about it. Well, I had an entire graveyard of hair products that I never seemed to find the time to toss in the garbage.

  Well, now those products would help me out. The jar fit perfectly behind a box of shampoo and conditioner that I’d received as a Christmas present.

  After tucking the orb away, I snapped off the bathroom light, changed my clothes and slid under the covers. Not once did I feel guilty about hiding the memory spell.

  Keeping Rufus Mayes away from his true self was a service for all of humanity.

  At least, that’s what I told myself as I drifted off to sleep.

  The next day Lady and I ate breakfast together—she had a bowl of really good, expensive dog food, and I had a chunk of the Coca-Cola cake that Malene had made for me.

  Lady had finished her bowl and stared up at me, her eyes full of hunger.

  “Sorry, girl, but this food is poisonous to you. Otherwise you could have as much of it as you want.”

  She turned away, and I could tell that she did not believe me.

  Well, I would never lie—not when it came to death. Since eating a chocolate breakfast would be the best part of my day, considering that I had no idea how or where to get the twenty thousand dollars, I resigned myself to put on a smile and do my best.

  Maybe I could strike a deal with the mafia where I paid them in installments. Liam probably wouldn’t be back at work yet, so it would be up to me to keep things moving at the barn renovation. Dooley was a stingy old tightwad, but he’d pay me what he owed. That much I knew.

  As I washed my face in the bathroom, I thought about the small spell that I’d hidden in the cupboard. I paused in mid-scrub and listened, wondering if I could hear anything. The orb had bounced around so much last night that I thought the light tapping sound it made could be heard by anyone standing in the bathroom.

  Though I cocked an ear toward it, I didn’t hear a thing.

  Satisfied that my secret would remain hidden as long as I needed it to be, I finished cleaning up, dressed and grabbed Lady.

  We hit Bender’s coffee shop first. I wanted to see if Rufus could help me out at the barn again. We’d made good headway yesterday, and with his help we could keep the renovation going.

  Plus, I wanted to know where he was at all times. Like, of course I did. Had to keep him not knowing who he was, obviously.

  Was that even ethical?

  Probably not, right? Like, if you knew who someone was, you should probably tell them.

  Well, that wasn’t going to happen here. My plan was to keep Rufus in the dark as long as possible and to also track his movements.

  Hmmm. Maybe I should buy a tracking device and stick it on his pants. Think he would notice a small watch battery thingy sticking from his back pocket? Were tracking devices even that small? In movies they were always tiny. Like, you could put one on a person’s shoulder and they’d never notice.

  Did I see that in Mission Impossible?

  Yes, I probably did.

  Given that I didn’t have a tracking device, the best way to keep someone in my sights was to stalk them. Nope. Not stalk. Just be around a lot. So I headed over to Bender’s to check on Rufus.

  And oh, I found him, all right. Malene, Norma Ray and Urleen circled a table. He stood in front of them. Malene waved her arms about as if she were going to take off and start flying.

  She spotted me and waved me over. “Hey, Clem, come here and listen to what we found out.”

  Rufus glanced up at the mention of my name. Our gazes locked, and that same heat that I’d felt before charged the air. Suddenly it was like the world had slipped away and only Rufus and I existed.

  Then the shop darkened and I was there—in a black room, my arms locked to my sides. I forced the fear back down, swallowing it into the pit of my stomach.

  Rufus’s gaze filled with concern. What I relived must’ve shown on my face.

  Forcing a smile, I reached the table and gripped the back of Norma Ray’s chair, helping to steady myself.

  “You okay?” Rufus asked.

  I waved away his concern. “I’m fine. Just a little foggy in the head.”

  Lady padded up to Malene and tapped her nose on Malene’s leg. She patted my dog while nodding to Rufus.

  “Clem, you are not going to believe this, but do you want to know what we just discovered about John, here?”

  “What’s that?” The fog threatened to take over, so I exhaled sharply and gripped the chair harder.

  “We discovered that he’s a spell hunter,” Malene said proudly. “He was telling us how he can see the orbs.” She clapped her hands with excitement. “He can see them—all of them, even the ones that Hannah hid.”

  “We don’t know that for sure,” Norma Ray said.

  “Why do you always have to be such a Debbie Downer?” Malene snipped. She pumped her hands in victory. “Do you know how long we’ve waited for a spell hunter to arrive in our town?”

  “Ever since we lost our ability to hunt?” Norma Ray guessed.

  “Yes,” Malene said triumphantly. “We’ve been waiting a good ten years to get the likes of him here. Now that he’s arrived, it’s a brand-new day. The witches and wizards here can use the spells that he finds.”

  Rufus patted the air in a hold-on gesture. “The only thing I really want is a memory spell so that I can regain what I’ve lost.”

  “But while you’re looking for that, you can help others,” Urleen said. “I know that spell holder is in here somewhere.” She opened her purse and laid a can opener on the table.

  “Why in the world do you need a can opener?” Norma Ray asked.

  Urleen looked at her as if she’d grown an extra head. “Why, I thought everyone carried one. You never know when you’re going to need to open up a can of whoop-butt and throw it on someone.”

  “That doesn’t exist,” I said. “There is nothing in the world that is actually labeled whoop-butt in a can.”

  “Oh no?” Urleen lifted her brows and eyed me from head to toe. “And I thought you were smarter than that, Clementine Cooke.”

  Next thing I knew, Urleen pulled a soup can from her purse. Sure enough, written in red letters on one side were the words Whoop-Butt.

  “See?” she said smugly.r />
  Properly chastened, I nodded appreciatively. “So I do. There is such a thing as that. Well, what you don’t learn.”

  “I know it. Now where is that jar?” She resumed digging in her purse, her nose stuck in the black hole of it. “Here it is. Finally. I thought I was losing my mind.”

  “You weren’t the only one,” Norma Ray said pointedly.

  Urleen gave her a hard look. “Y’all know I keep just about everything in here that you could want. I put that jar in my purse years ago and simply didn’t have the heart to take it out.” She settled a golden mason jar on the table. The lid was gold as well as the actual beveled glass itself. “John,” she said to Rufus, “this now belongs to you. Use it to capture spells and carry them to whoever needs them.”

  I stared at it, thinking of the jar in my cabinet. “Is there something special about this one? Something that makes it better to keep magic in instead of a plain old jar?”

  A waking nightmare of the memory spell in my cupboard bursting from my house and smacking right into Rufus played out in my mind. He would regain his memory and destroy me—finish the job that he’d started.

  Urleen shook her head. “No. It’s just the three of us spray-painted it when we were younger.”

  “And a good time that was,” Malene said.

  The coffee shop’s door opened and in walked Willard. Malene gave him the stink eye.

  Willard caught it and tipped his head. “Malene, you’re looking lovely this morning.”

  Malene glowered. “You keep insulting me like that, and I’ll zap your butt with electricity.”

  Willard grinned widely. “I look forward to it.”

  As he approached the counter, Malene mumbled, “That man gets my goat.”

  “Do you like anyone?” I said.

  Her lips pursed. “I like you, John and my girls.”

  “Sometimes I think we’re on the outs,” Norma Ray said.

  “Not you girls.” Malene glanced down at her bosom. “Those girls.”

  Norma Ray spoke to Urleen. “She’s joking, right?”

  “Yes, Norma Ray.”

  Malene rose and took Rufus by the arm. “Now that you’re the new spell hunter, you can start by rounding up some spells for us. What I wouldn’t give for a good old-fashioned wrinkle remover. Do you think we could go search for one of those?”

  Wait a minute. Malene was just going to take Rufus and leave? Like, she was going to take him spell hunting?

  They were just accepting him without knowing anything about his past. Malene had welcomed Rufus into Peachwood with open arms, not bothering to wait and make sure that he wasn’t a homicidal maniac before she got to know him.

  I couldn’t help but gape openly at them. Rufus glanced at me, and my gaze darted away.

  He stopped walking. “If you’d rather I help you at the barn, I’d be glad to.”

  I shook my head. “No, don’t bother. Go and spell hunt. See if you can find Malene what it is she needs.”

  He gave me a smile full of regret but let Malene drag him toward the door.

  Norma Ray patted my shoulder. “Don’t you worry about John. Malene will take good care of him.”

  I bristled. “I’m not worried about him.”

  Norma Ray gave me a sympathetic smile. “Are you sure about that? ’Cause it seems to me that I’ve seen that look of longing before, but only when someone fancies someone else.”

  Whatever the look was, I made sure it disappeared from my face. “That’s not it. Y’all don’t know anything about him. John could be a serial killer. He’s a stranger.”

  Norma Ray smiled tenderly. “I remember that once upon a time you were a stranger, too. If it hadn’t been for Malene and a few others who accepted you right off the bat, you never would have made Peachwood your home.”

  Drat. “Well, of course you’re right, but…”

  “But nothing, honey. We all need a friend, especially those of us who may be lost.”

  With that, Norma Ray followed Malene and Urleen out the front door, leaving me standing alone, wondering who exactly was the bad guy in the coffee shop—Rufus or me and my ingrained prejudice?

  Chapter 21

  Liam’s crew showed up at the barn, sans Liam. I spent the day directing the men on what to focus on, and by the end of the day the kitchen was starting to take shape.

  Needless to say, things were moving along at a clipped pace.

  By the time my day was over, I was spent, exhausted. I gathered Lady, who looked just as tired as me, and headed home.

  When we reached my house, I ate another piece of cake (yes, I live on sugar; there is nothing wrong with that), showered and slipped on a pair of jeans and a T-shirt. About five minutes later my doorbell rang.

  When I answered it, Malene stood in the frame, her glasses glinting in my porch light.

  “How’d the spell hunting go?” I asked.

  She scowled. “Can’t you tell? Look at my face.”

  I peered closer. “Oh yes, I see that many of the lines are gone.”

  “You can’t tell, can you?”

  I really hated to tell her that I couldn’t, so I kept my mouth shut. “Yes, you have less lines than normally.”

  “That spell needed a turbo boost to it, but I didn’t have the shark teeth powder to add so I had to settle.”

  “But at least you found it. That’s good, right?”

  She rubbed her chin. “That fella John is gonna be a great spell hunter. Just what we need around here.”

  I started to tell her that she needed to watch out for who she trusted, but Malene spoke first.

  “Why’re you wearing that?”

  “What? A T-shirt? Is something wrong with my loungewear?”

  Since when did Malene become the judge of what I wore to hang around my house in?

  “You wearing that to the anti-social party?”

  I groaned. “Oh no. I forgot all about it.”

  “Well, get yourself dressed and come on. I’ll walk you over.”

  As much as I wanted to protest, I knew it wouldn’t work. Malene wouldn’t leave until I was dressed and heading over to the party.

  So I slipped on a silk shirt but kept the jeans, adding a pair of strappy low-heeled sandals to the outfit. I left Lady at home and headed down the street to the anti-social headquarters—which was only a few blocks over.

  Lights danced across Peach Pit Avenue. They lassoed the trees and dangled from one side of the street to the other. Insects buzzed around my head, and I waved them away.

  “Ah, there he is,” Malene said, pointing to Rufus.

  He stood beside the punch bowl wearing a tight, thin cotton sweater and jeans.

  Rufus handed Malene a cup of punch. “Malene,” he said in greeting.

  She smiled at him. “I’m gonna tell everyone I know that you’re the town’s new spell hunter. Folks’ll be so excited to hear that. You’ll have more business than you can hope for.”

  Before he could argue, Malene took her punch and strode off.

  “So you’re going to be the new spell hunter for the town?” I asked.

  He smirked. “If Malene has her way, yes.”

  He handed me a glass, and I took it. “And you?” Rufus’s gaze leveled on me. “What do you think? Should I stay here?”

  “I’m not the person you should be asking. Only you can answer that.”

  His gaze drifted around the party. “So what’s this all about—the anti-social party?”

  I laughed. “Oh, I think the town thought it would be fun and gimmicky to call it that.”

  “I’m sure you don’t want to be here, with your friend’s death and everything.”

  “I’ll be okay.”

  We stared out at the crowd. Rufus shifted his weight, and his shoulder brushed mine. A flash of heat snaked all the way to my belly.

  “So, it’s none of my business, but…” he started.

  I sighed, knowing what he was asking. “It’s not any of your business, but I’ll
tell you. A long time ago I met a very charming man. We hit it off and became friends, great friends. More than friends.”

  I shivered as I relived the memory of how much chemistry had existed between Rufus and me the first time we met. Nothing had changed, apparently.

  “We became very close, and he asked if I wanted to play a magical game.” I snickered bitterly. “I said, sure, I was up for it. The next thing I knew, I woke up strapped down and he was trying to suck all the magic from my body.”

  Blazing white-hot anger churned in my veins. Rufus cast his gaze to the ground as I stared out into the crowd of folks.

  “I barely escaped with my life. I tricked him into touching me and blasted him across the room. The explosion set me free. After that, I didn’t know who I could trust, so I decided not to talk about magic and not to use my power unless it was absolutely necessary.” I exhaled a sharp breath. “So there you have it. The story of why I’m a bitter woman.”

  Rufus laughed. “I actually wasn’t going to ask you that. But for what it’s worth, I’m sorry.” He took my hand and I stiffened. He paused, his gaze searching mine. When I relaxed, he smiled. “I hope whoever did that to you is suffering a thousand deaths right now.”

  “I doubt it.”

  “But what I wanted to ask was if you would like to help me hunt for spells.”

  I shook my head. “I’m too busy with my own company.”

  “On the side, perhaps?” He squeezed my hand, and the air tightened, along with my chest. I was drowning in his eyes and maybe it was the punch or the darkness or even the romantic lights strewn about, but I felt myself falling into Rufus.

  From beside me, someone cleared their throat. I jerked my hand away and turned to see Shane.

  “Oh, Shane! You scared me!”

  Shane smiled bashfully. “Sorry. I tried to call you, but my calls kept going straight to voice mail.”

  I peeked inside my purse at my phone and sighed. “It’s dead. Sorry. Everything okay?”

  He raked his fingers through his hair. “I believe we had plans.”