UnCage me (Savage Beast MC Book 8)

by Hayley Faiman

  Silver takes one step toward me, then another before he lifts his hand and wraps his fingers around my shoulder again, giving me another firm shake. “Hombre,” he rasps. “Trust us to have your back, yeah? We’ll hash it all out after we get rid of these fucks. We got you.”

  “I don’t deserve any of you, any of it,” I blurt.

  Hawk bursts out laughing. “Brother, neither did I. None of us deserve the beauty that life has given us, and yet, it continues to show us so much goddamn beauty that it’s kind of sickening,” he says, his lips curve up into a huge grin, a sign that he doesn’t think any of it is fucking sickening at all. He loves his life, loves his beauty and I can’t blame him at all.

  “None of us deserves the good we have, not with all the bad we’ve done, Jaguar. You aren’t alone and you aren’t special when it comes to that. You have to stop beating yourself up over it all. We’re on our way to forgiving you, and you need to forgive yourself. Pamela is family, in more ways than one, she won’t be left out swingin’.” Dragon says.

  I want to call him Yoda, thank him for his awesome advice, but I don’t. Instead, I nod my head a couple of times and let their words soak in. They’re going to take care of me, take care of Pamela, and it sounds like they’re going to start opening the fold and letting me in a little more, slowly. I can handle that. Fuck yeah, I can handle all of that.

  “Well, I’ve had enough of acting like a dramatic bitch,” I snap.

  The men chuckle, but it’s Silver who still has his hand on my shoulder who gives me a bit of a shake. My eyes find his and I watch him for a moment. He doesn’t say anything right away, and I find that Silver is quiet more often than he’s not these days, he thinks about what he’s going to say. It’s a lesson that I need to learn and implement.

  “Serious, brother. We got your back and this will all be good. Swear to that shit. You keep giving us the you that we know, nothin’ bad can happen, yeah?”

  “Yeah,” I rasp.

  His lips curve up into a grin and he clicks his tongue. “Let’s go kill some fucking Donkeys,” he calls out.

  And just like that, the heaviness is lifted and the conversation is over. I don’t know what waits for me in the future. I don’t know if I’ll struggle financially forever or if I’ll be able to eventually get back to the paycheck I had before I ruined my life. But I know that no matter what, these men have my back and that’s all that matters.

  PAMELA

  A few days pass and Pinkie throws a bag at me from across the room. “Take that,” she snaps.

  I know what’s inside, I don’t have to even open it to know. Clutching the bag to my chest, I think about everything the other Old Ladies said. They are all convinced I’m pregnant and I can’t help but remember the smiles they wore at the idea—even Della.

  “Pinkie,” I call out.

  She turns around to face me and tilts her head to the side waiting for me to speak. Pressing my lips together, I throw my legs over the edge of the bed and set the bag to the side.

  “Everyone seemed pretty excited at the idea of that test being positive,” I whisper.

  Pinkie doesn’t respond, she waits me out, just like I knew she would. That’s one thing about Pinkie, she doesn’t push and I really like that about her. At least, on super important stuff like this. She pushes about other things, like juicy gossip or anything trivial like that.

  “I can’t help but wonder if it just isn’t the right timing. Me and Dylan, we don’t even know one another really. I’m falling for him, but he’s a prospect and like he says, he can’t claim me the way he wants. I guess I’m just nervous,” I admit.

  Pinkie doesn’t say anything for a long moment and I realize that she’s probably not the person I should be coming to with this. She has her own trauma when it comes to babies and I really shouldn’t be talking about them like this with her, especially about my worries. I feel like a bitch for even broaching the topic.

  In true Pinkie fashion, she doesn’t waste a moment and walks over to me, sitting down on the edge of the bed. I should be living in Dylan’s room, he told me to stay there while he was gone, but I just can’t do it. I find comfort with the girls, and sleeping in here, I know that I’m not alone.

  “Jaguar wouldn’t have even made this possible child an option if he didn’t want it. The only women he’s ever taken bare are you and Della. Women he wanted to keep for his own, women that he knew would be the right mothers for his babies.”

  Della.

  I should not be jealous. I can’t help it though. She seems to be part of every conversation when it comes to Dylan. And although I know deep in my heart that he holds no romantic affections for her, nor her for him, it doesn’t take away the fact that they have a past.

  I hate that.

  “I think I’m supposed to feel flattered, but I’m not sure exactly how I feel.”

  I should not be admitting this to Pinkie, she’s got a love for Jaguar that is truly untouchable. I can’t pretend that it doesn’t feel too fast though. That it doesn’t feel like too much too fast. Leaving the Punchers, falling for Jaguar, having sex with him, having feelings for him that I don’t even know if I understand, and now a baby.

  “These men know what they want and they take it,” Pinkie whispers. “Sometimes it’s so fast it’ll make your head spin and you don’t really have a moment to think.”

  “What aren’t you telling me?” I ask.

  She licks her lips, her eyes finding mine. “I have my place here and I love it, but I am not immune to these men and my heart still wants love. I just know that for me, I can’t have it the way that others do. So, I understand how these men work and you’re young, you’re probably confused.”

  “I’m more than confused,” I breathe. “I’m terrified.”

  Pinkie leans over and wraps her arms around me. She holds me and comforts me and whispers that it’s all going to be okay, that it will work out the way it’s meant to be, then she leans back and looks into my eyes, her lips curving up into a small smile.

  “How do you feel when he’s here, when he’s in front of you?”

  “Like nothing can touch me, can touch us. Like my body is going to explode if he doesn’t touch me, kiss me, hold me.”

  Pinkie’s eyes search mine and I’m not sure if she’s looking for a lie in my gaze or the truth, but she’ll only find the truth. I don’t lie, no reason to. Not about this.

  “Like she loves him,” a voice calls out from the doorway.

  Looking around Pinkie, I see Della standing there, her eyes on me and nowhere else. “You do, don’t you?” she asks.

  Licking my lips, I look down at my lap, then lift my gaze to meet hers. “I’m not sure I know how to love or what it feels like,” I confess.

  Della’s lips twitch and she shakes her head once. “You just described it, Pamela. How you feel, it’s how I feel every second of every day when I’m with Eagle. And the longer you’re together, the better it gets.”

  “Take the test, honey,” Pinkie urges. “I’m excited for the outcome.”

  Shifting my gaze to the white paper bag next to me, I stare at it for far too long. Pinkie and Della stay quiet for a moment, then Della moves into the room, closer to me.

  “We’re a family, Pamela. We have your back and we’ll help you with everything. There’s no need to feel overwhelmed, we got you.”

  Her words are meant to be reassuring, and they are, to a degree. They’re also terrifying. I’ve never had anything like what she describes. I know they mean well too, all of them, I experienced it firsthand for my birthday, but this is so much bigger than just a party, this is human life.

  I honestly don’t know why I thought it was a good idea to have sex with him unprotected. I was so stupid and now that it’s not just some fantasy, it’s not just sexy words he’s whispering as he moves inside of me, it’s a reality and I’m terrified.

  Lifting my eyes, I can’t stop them from watering as the tears form and threaten to fall down my cheek
s.

  “I’m scared,” I admit out loud.

  Della sinks down on her haunches in front of me and places her hands on my knees, while Pinkie wraps her arm around my shoulders.

  “It’s going to be okay,” Pinkie murmurs. “I’m right here for you.”

  “Why? Why have you been right here for me, Pinkie?” I ask.

  I’ve had a feeling, an inkling since she told me a little about her past. I haven’t been able to get it out of my mind and I know, I just know there is so much more to the story. So much more that she hasn’t told me.

  “You know why, Pamela Sue,” she says, saying my middle name. She could have guessed it, considering my father named me completely and totally after Pamela Anderson, but the way she says it, my heart squeezes.

  “Pinkie?” I breathe.

  “Take the test, honey.”

  “We have you, Pamela. You’re young, but you’re brave and strong. Jaguar is here, we’re all here. We got you,” Della says, interrupting a life-changing moment.

  So, with only their strength and none of my own.

  I take the test.

  Thinking the entire time about the fact that Pinkie is my mother. There is no other explanation for it. I just don’t know what to do with that information. She doesn’t seem like she wants anyone to know, like she doesn’t even want to fully admit it to me.

  The timer goes off, interrupting my thoughts, and I look down at the test.

  Pregnant.

  Chapter Twenty-Five

  JAGUAR

  Silver doesn’t say anything the rest of the drive to Oregon. I don’t mind it, in fact, I kind of enjoy it now. It’s not an uncomfortable silence, and it allows me to get lost in my head. I’m not sure why I have been so fucking reflective lately, so focused on thoughts and feelings.

  I’ve changed and I can’t deny that I am enjoying that change. I’m not as angry and frustrated as I used to be, minus Pamela not being protected and me being broke as shit. The rest of me is at peace though.

  I’ve never felt at peace before.

  It’s an odd sensation and I know once Riot is gone, I’ll finally feel free, too. “What happens when he’s gone?” Silver asks.

  “Peace,” I say without missing a beat.

  “Yeah,” he says softly. “Your woman? She’s good with all this? She knows?”

  Nodding my head, I don’t say anything right away. “She knows,” I admit. “She’ll be relieved when he’s gone. Their club has done enough damage, more than we could ever know, probably. It’s time the rest of them are put down like the animals that they are.”

  “Yeah,” Silver agrees, but is quiet for a long moment.

  I don’t mind, the silence is still comfortable and I just watch the side of the road, the landscape as we drive closer and closer toward Oregon.

  “I know shit went down. I know I fucked up a lot, but I couldn’t see clearly. I was so fucked in the head. I also know that’s not an excuse,” I admit.

  He grunts but doesn’t respond immediately. Then he clears his throat before he begins. “It wasn’t an excuse. And when it happened, yeah, everyone was pissed the fuck off, but do you know why they were so angry?”

  “No,” I say.

  “Because you ran. It was fucked you did what you did, but everyone thought you ran away like a pussy. That you were in on some betrayal. It wasn’t just that you shot Eagle. It was so much more than that.”

  “Wouldn’t ever betray the Beasts, the club saved my life. I owe everything to them.”

  He chuckles. “Yeah, but people do fucked-up shit when it comes to the opposite sex. We thought you knew about Charm, about who she was and you were in on all that shit.”

  “Never,” I grind out. “Killed her the moment I found out, not a single goddamn hesitation either. Made her bleed and left her body to get eaten by the wild animals.”

  Maybe I’m sick. No, no maybes about it. I know that I am. I’m a sick fuck who is frothing at the goddamn mouth to put Riot and his men down. I’m practically fucking hard about the idea of them dying in front of me.

  But betraying the Beasts like that? Over Charm, fuck that. I would never do that shit, not in a million fucking years. Lifting my hand, I run my fingers through my hair, tugging on the ends and offhandedly thinking that maybe I should cut the shit before it gets much longer.

  “I would betray my brothers for Presley,” he admits softly. “She’d never ask me to, because she’s not that kind of woman. But if it came to the club or her, I’d choose her. Love her.”

  Pressing my lips together, I clear my throat. Fuck. I would betray them for Pammy, too. In a goddamn heartbeat, I would. I don’t think another person could get me to do anything the way that she can, and like Presley, I don’t think she’d ever even think to ask it of me.

  “Pammy wouldn’t ask either.”

  Silver doesn’t say anything, but my unsaid words are perfectly clear. I would betray them for her. If it came down to it, I would without hesitation. She would never ask me though, would never even think about it, which is why I’ve completely fallen for her. I’m head over goddamn heels for the woman.

  “Then she’s your one,” he says, his voice low as he drives the two-lane road through the woods that lead us to the cabins where we know Riot and his few still breathing men live.

  Worm already checked what cameras he could, but wasn’t able to find much out here. And now I understand why. This place is isolated as fuck. Sure, there are people here, but they are spread out and the population sign at the beginning of town boasted a whopping three hundred and fifty-two inhabitants.

  I bet this place is a ghost town at night.

  “She’s my one,” I admit distractedly, as I look around the highway frontage road at the town.

  I have a feeling that there is nothing but forest behind the buildings along the highway, nothing more. Perfect hiding places for a fucking club on the run and anyone else who is hiding away for whatever reason. A perfect place not to be found.

  “This place is creepy as fuck,” Silver says, the same distracted tone to his voice.

  “Yup.”

  There is a small burger diner on the right that claims to have the best burgers along with shakes. We all pull in and climb out, stretching our legs. My stomach grumbles as soon as the smell of the greasy beef and fries hits my nostrils.

  “We eatin’?” I ask.

  Silver chuckles. “Fuck yeah, that smells fuckin’ awesome.”

  Wordlessly, together, we walk into the small restaurant. The tables are plain and have silver napkin dispensers along with salt, pepper, and ketchup on each one. It looks like every diner dive I’ve been to and I can’t help but smile, judging by the no muss, no fuss, décor this place may have the best shit around.

  We order burgers and shakes by the dozen, then gather in the back of the small building and sit as close together as we can.

  “We got a plan in place?” Mamba asks, though his gaze flicks to Worm, our techie.

  Worm blanches and shakes his head. “I was only able to scan the aerial view of their small compound area. It’s not much, but it’s surrounded by woods. I don’t know what kind of security system they have set up at all.”

  “Knowing Riot, it’ll be their guns only. They aren’t too fucking bright,” I announce.

  “No cameras? No traps?” Mamba asks.

  I shrug a shoulder. “Probably not. Riot is cocky as fuck. You surprised them coming to California, but they think they got away with everything. They think they’re on easy street and will get the final drop on you. I have no doubt that they’re licking their wounds and planning some kind of retaliation. It’ll be a coward’s fight, that’s just the way they are, but they’re planning.”

  Dragon grunts, licking his lips before he takes a huge bite of his burger. He chews a few times, then swallows it before he speaks.

  “We go after them first thing in the morning. At dawn. I’m not sitting around here giving them time to figure out we’ve come ca
lling. I want this done and I want it done quickly. They need to be put down and the time is now. I’ve put it off for far too long. It’s my fault our brothers were killed. They should have been gone well before that.”

  “Is it your fault?” I ask, the guilt flowing through me because I know the truth.

  I kept telling him to hold off, wanting to wait until Pamela was eighteen, knowing that there was only one way to save her from the fate that her father had already lined out for her. A couple of the guys grumble, but I can’t make out what they say, instead, my focus is on Dragon and only Dragon.

  His gaze flicks up to meet mine and he grins. “Brother,” he says softly. “You can carry whatever guilt you want, but this is not on you. I should have ended them well before I knew you were even infiltrated in that club. I let it go on longer than it should have, mainly because I didn’t want more war. I thought that I could negotiate my way out of it, or at least bide my time.”

  Nobody says anything, and my voice has been stolen from me. I have nothing to say. Instead, I clear my throat and look down at my fries, wondering if I’ll be able to eat them. Then wondering, how the fuck did I suddenly get off of the hook for this shit?

  “Don’t give me a pass,” I announce. Lifting my head, I look directly into Dragon’s eyes. “Don’t give me a pass for what I did.”

  Dragon’s lips curve up into a grin. “I’m not. But this isn’t anything you need to have guilt about. This is all on me. I can take blame when blame is due to me. It’s not on you.”

  “Have we had enough feel-good shit? I’m ready to kill some motherfuckers,” Mamba growls at the same time we hear a gasp.

  Lifting my head, I look over Dragon’s shoulder to see a sweet little waitress standing behind him, her eyes wide and her lips parted.

  Fuck.

  Mamba chuckles. “I got this,” he purrs as he shifts from the bench.