Ascending From Madness

by Stacey Marie Brown

  “Scrooge.” I watched the light flash brighter. “Santa Claus.”

  Blink. Blink. Blink.

  “Are they here?” The question came out as I watched the sparks glowing brighter and flickering faster.

  Rudolph droppings. Were they answering me?

  I bit at my bottom lip, scared my theory was in my head.

  “Blink twice for yes. Once for no. Are Scrooge and Santa here?”

  Blink. Blink.

  “Son of a sugarplum fairy.” I breathed, half not believing my eyes. “Can you show me?”

  Blink. Blink.

  The swirl of souls bunched together and sailed forward. Jogging to keep up, I trailed after them down a path, curving around nothing, but logic would not be found in this land.

  It was so dark, only the energy the souls were creating gave the place any light. They slowed, halting me behind them, then slowly they crept forward as a group, their dim flickering light revealing a large lump on the ground.

  I blinked, taking in the outline of a man. Appearing like a warped version of Sleeping Beauty. Wearing only blue scrub pants, he was draped over another object, unconscious.

  A sharp gasp hurled up my throat, a boulder dropping in my stomach.

  “Scrooge!” I screamed, running to him, falling to the ground with a crunch, my hands reaching for him. “Oh my god. Scrooge.” My finger curled around his face turning it to me, his skin cold. Deep circles lined his eyes, cuts were on his cheeks, and the one eye was still puffy from Jessica’s torture, indicating everything there had been true as well. But his wounds had healed a lot since coming back here. And though it only felt like hours to me, time was irrelevant. We could’ve been in here years, weeks, or seconds.

  Severe torment etched his face like it had become permanent, which twisted my heart. Here, the harm was done mentally, not physically, which was worse.

  “Scrooge, wake up.” I shook him.

  No response.

  “Scrooge!” I shook him harder, my palm tapping at his cheek, trying to stir him. “Please. I didn’t go through all that shit to lose you now.” I slapped him hard, his body stirring, his lids fluttering.

  “Scrooge!” I pounced, shaking him harder.

  Both his eyes opened, glossy blue eyes staring into mine. Blank. Empty. Lifeless. Staring through me like I didn’t exist.

  “Scrooge?” I clutched his face, biting my lips. “Please, talk to me.”

  His brow furrowed, confusion, grief, pain flickering across his features, his face turning to the side, staring off at nothing.

  “No.” I gritted my jaw, yanking his face back to me. “Look at me, Scrooge.”

  “Scrooge.” His voice broke over the name, no recognition reflecting in his intonation.

  “That’s your name,” I said. “Do you know who I am?”

  His eyes glossed over again, and agony twitched his face, before his eyes shut again.

  “No!” My fingers wrapped around his shoulders, tugging him closer. “Stay with me.”

  “L-l-let...” He struggled, like speaking was something he didn’t really understand anymore. “Me. Go.” The agony in his eyes begging me to do just that was a blade in my heart.

  “No,” I growled. “There is no fuckin’ way I am letting you go. Ever. Do you understand? You’re not the only one who is selfish, stingy, and greedy. I want forever. And I’m not letting some perverse Candyland take you from me. Nor will I let you give up. So… get your ass up. Now!”

  Sorrow so deep marked his face, and he rolled in on himself, his eyes shutting again. Broken and lost, barely holding onto his shell. I knew it wouldn’t be long before he dissolved away, becoming another soul trapped in here, his body forever lost.

  He was too far gone for my words to reach.

  But…

  “Okay.” I grabbed his face, pulling it up to mine. “Not really how I planned for this to go, but you left me with no other option.”

  My mouth slammed down on his.

  Even barely conscious, the hot-and-cold electricity between us flared to life, zapping at my skin like jumper cables, sending fevered energy into the air, creating a frenzy as the souls clamored for more, buzzing and blazing with light.

  But nothing mattered outside us, my lips consuming his. In a place that took, I gave him everything I had left. Pushing every memory of us through the kiss, needing him to remember somewhere inside what we had together. What we had been through.

  How I felt about him.

  A deep growl vibrated against my lips, before fingers clutched the back of my head. His mouth came to life against mine, devouring me with fierce hunger, like I was a lifeline, sucking life, energy, and memories from me. The more I shoved at him, the more animated he became, latching on to the energy flaring between us.

  The animal inside him roared with vitality, turning him primal and brutal. His fingers were rough as he yanked my head back, his teeth pulling at my bottom lip before he dragged them across my throat, nipping and sucking.

  “Scrooge,” I groaned his name, as he returned to my mouth. Deepening the kiss, his tongue curled around mine as he nipped my bottom lip. Damn, he felt so good. I wanted this, but even my inappropriate timing knew this was definitely not the time or place.

  “Scrooge…” I pulled back, my palms sliding along his jaw. “Stop.”

  His nose flared, his blue eyes burning with hunger, his brain set on primal mode. It made sense. This place stripped you of everything, leaving you with only the barest of instincts. Food. Water. Sex.

  And I woke up the last one.

  “Look at me.” I locked on his stare for dominance. “I really need you to dig deep. Somewhere in there you recognize me. Remember all we’ve been through together.”

  His eyes burned into mine. He seemed to want to pounce but stayed in place instead.

  I wanted nothing more than for us to get out of here, but the most important thing still needed to be found.

  “You came in here to find Santa Claus. Do you recall that?”

  Scrooge’s forehead wrinkled, and the feral animal slid away. Memories creased his face. “Santa.” He rubbed at his head, anguish storming over his features again, his fingers digging harshly into his scalp, scraping, and clawing.

  “Hey. Stop.” I tugged at his arms. To see him so broken hollowed out my chest. He dropped his hands to the ground, his chest heaving.

  “I remember,” he said so softly I barely heard him. A heart-wrenching cry broke from his lips, his fists pounding the snowy ground. “My wife… my son…” He gulped. “I let them die.”

  “Shhh.” I wrapped my arms around him, my fingers brushing through his hair, his muscles shaking with grief.

  “I had another chance. I a-abandoned my boy. A-again.” He gripped on to me, still stumbling over his words.

  “He wasn’t your son. He was not real.” I tugged him in tighter. “You did the right thing. We need you here.”

  “D-did I? Doesn’t feel that way.”

  His forehead nuzzled against my neck; his body heaving with a sigh, before he pulled back. Cupping my face, his gaze went back and forth between mine.

  “You are why I’m remembering.”

  “Probably not a compliment, huh?”

  His irises darkened as he leaned over, his mouth taking mine. His kiss deepened, turning fierce. Claiming. Violent.

  “Alice,” he rumbled deeply.

  I jerked back, my name ringing through me.

  He stopped, staring at me with shock. “Alice.” He said my name again. “I remember. You… why I came here.” He blinked, his gaze darting to the side. “Holy shit.”

  My gaze followed his, landing on the thing he had been curled around. For the first time, I really noticed it. It was a red box tied with white ribbon, about a foot tall and wide, and a tag hanging off the bow. A present.

  Curious.

  I moved closer, picking up the tag, reading the name scrolled across.

  Santa Claus.

  My head jerked t
o Scrooge, my mouth parting. “Is this? Is this what I think it is?”

  Scrooge’s head bobbed up and down.

  “Yes, it’s Santa Claus’s soul.”

  The cluster of souls guided us back to the border connecting the Land of the Lost Souls and the Land of the Lost and Broken. There seemed a big difference between the two. The souls here wanted to help us and didn’t rip your memories away, but the sorrow, shame, and guilt were far deeper. It crippled and tortured you with those horrific memories instead. The ones you wish would be taken away.

  Both places stripped you of your soul.

  Scrooge held the box and squeezed it to his chest with one arm, keeping close to me, his jaw set tight.

  “You ready?” I gazed past the imaginary boundary, toys floating like a force field was keeping them behind the line. Once we stepped out there, we would again be fighting to keep our minds, and not drown in their grief and forget what we were doing.

  “No better time than the present, Ms. Liddell.”

  Glancing over at him, a soft smile played on my lips. My Scrooge was returning slowly, I just needed to make sure it stayed that way, and the toys wouldn’t take him again.

  Firming my hold on the ice pick, I nodded, both of us stepping out. The chilly air peeled off my skin like a coat, shedding it as we left the lost souls.

  We took only a few steps when the toys shifted directions, coming for us as if we put off a signal they couldn’t resist. Hundreds of stuffed animals, action figures, and game pieces came at us like zombies hunting for brains, sucking at our energy and filling me with gloom.

  The cracked porcelain doll with one revolving eye and yellowing gown led the pack, her dark malevolence lashing out for me. Hate and anger seeped from her, the need to strip not just my memories, but my life salivated through her emotions.

  Most of the toys I encountered before had just wanted me to hear their sad tale, help them. But she was different, and she seemed to be controlling a large group of resentful toys, following her lead.

  You’re not leaving this time, Alice. An odd high-pitched voice slid into my head, like a little girl trying to do a very bad witch impression.

  “Dangling snowballs.” I jerked back, watching her advance toward us, her one eye rolling up. Was it possible they’ve grown stronger? Smarter? Coming together?

  All because of you. She spoke again in my mind, her voice creepy as shit. The more we take from the living, the more alive we become. Powerful. More clever. We don’t get humans in here often… and now that we have a taste, we are not letting either of you escape.

  I glanced over at Scrooge, his head bobbing around, watching each toy, not reacting to her at all.

  “Do you not hear her?”

  “Hear who?” He peered down at me, shifting the box in his arms, his free hand rubbing his head, as if they were already scraping at his mind.

  You are special, Alice. The moment you entered here, I could feel it. Was drawn to it. You have extra much—

  “Muchness. I know.” I said out loud, cutting off her sentence. “I’ve heard.”

  I want it, she hissed.

  “Get in line.” I lifted my weapon.

  A cackled laugh, like someone on helium, shivered through my mind and down my spine. There are hundreds of us. Two of you. Who do you think has the best chance?

  “We have a slight problem,” I muttered to Scrooge. “That freaky-as-shit doll has kind of formed a toy gang. She’s really evil and has gotten a taste for murder and us and… well, they want to suck our brains through a straw.”

  “What?” Scrooge twisted his head to me, his eye twitching with confusion. “The toys aren’t alive. They have no intelligences.”

  “They do now,” I replied. “Thanks to us.”

  He swiveled around, taking in the horde enclosing on us like a bunch of hyenas, circling us. “Fuck.”

  “You know what we have to do?” I grabbed his arm, assessing the group around us.

  “What?”

  “Run!” I tugged on him, yanking him to the area with the least toys packed together to make a break for it, my pick raised to attack.

  I only got past the first layer before the assault switched my cry from battle to pain. The toys swarmed around, stripping and tearing into my mind.

  Scrooge yelled, his fist smashing into a Teletubby, his grip on Santa’s soul turning his knuckles white. A torn, pink Care Bear and a bald Strawberry Shortcake slammed into me, driving me to my knees with a wail.

  “Scrooge,” I called his name, more for me to keep remembering it. The barricade around my mind was chipping and splintering with the onslaught. And I knew Scrooge was still weak and vulnerable, his defense no better than a newborn calf.

  Do not forget who you are, Alice. What you have been through to survive.

  I thought of a bunch of dollies being the ones to take me down. To take Scrooge from me. Fuck. That. Gritting my teeth, I fought against the desire to crawl into a ball and let them have me, their tales taking the place of my own.

  A roar sounded near me. A pack of toys leaped down on Scrooge, too many for him to fight at once. My mouth opened to call for him again and nothing came out, his name plucked from my mind like picking an apple from a tree.

  Stop, the shrill doll voice yelled, forcing my hands to cover my ears, even though it was all in my head. The toys around us halted immediately and backed off us.

  They are mine. She floated to me, her eye rolling all the way back in her head.

  The horde split, giving her a clear path to us.

  I looked over my shoulder at the nameless man near me. I didn’t recall his name, but I could feel what he meant to me. He slumped protectively over the box, but he stared around as if he had no clue why he was here.

  “Hey…” I grunted, trying to dig deep for his name. He glanced up at me. “Stay with me, okay? It’s you and me.”

  He watched me without familiarity, but he nodded his head.

  “And do not let go of the box.” What was in there again? It was important, right?

  The doll sailed toward me, and the closer she got, the heavier her malevolence knocked against my mind, making me wheeze for air.

  You are mine, Alice. I will take until there is nothing left.

  She reminded me so much of someone. Cruel and cold, wanting to take everything from me, but I couldn’t recall who. She inched closer and closer to me, her greediness for me burning through my body. Her small cracked hand reached out for me, brushing my skin.

  With a cry, I lurched forward, the pick slamming into her remaining eye, breaking all the way through the skull. A wild snarl derived from my throat as I pulled out the blade and smashed it into her head again, the porcelain crown rupturing, breaking and crumbling to the ground.

  A piercing scream stabbed in my head, bending me over, shoving bile up my throat.

  A hand reached for her, the man yanking what was left of the doll to the ground, his boot stomping on it over and over. The cries ceased, letting air through my lungs again. Taking a breath, I stood, grabbing on to him.

  “Come on.” My gut told me we only had so long until the other toys responded to what we did, coming after us for themselves. “Run.”

  He and I took off on shaky legs. Noises rang out in the air behind us. The toys that could make sounds—music, talking, beeps, or cries—wailed like sirens.

  My legs picked up speed, the muscles straining as we darted and weaved around other toys floating around.

  This place felt endless with its sameness. No sign telling you which way the exit was. We ran, having no idea if we were going the right way or how to even get out of here when I noticed a throng of toys grouping together in front of us.

  We slowed, glancing both in front and back of us. One gang bellowed behind us, and one stood like a wall before us. A frustrated cry scraped over my tongue, my body flipping back and forth between the two groups.

  Something caught my eye behind the group lining up. A strange energy wobbling th
e air behind them. My mouth parted with understanding.

  The barricade was blocking us, acting as a defensive line. They did not advance toward us, but stayed right there, protecting what was behind them. The exit. Obstructing us from leaving.

  I had a strange sense of having been in a similar situation, but the image of holly came to mind instead or toys. Holly? I had no idea where that came from, but it felt right.

  The group behind us was getting closer; the warped slurring of a talking doll nipped at the back of my neck.

  “Exit is behind them.” I turned to the man, staring up at his blue eyes, his name dancing the crest of my mind. “Don’t stop, do not look back, no matter how painful. You push beyond them and get through.”

  His mouth opened, his brows furrowing, trying so hard to find his words, his free hand taking mine.

  “To-gether,” he rumbled.

  “Together.” Anxiety pranced my legs as the toy troop was now just feet away, reaching out for us. “Ready?”

  This was going to be excruciating.

  He nodded, gripping the box, letting my hand go.

  “Now!”

  With a cry, we rushed forward, crashing into the barrage of toy guards. Swiping my pick and shoving at the plush toys, the agony hit me like a semi-truck. Screams tore from my throat; the rush of grief, pain, and loss blinded me, wrenching all thoughts from my head. Fight! Something screamed in me, turning me primal and wild. My fingers tore at the cute little playthings, ripping, stabbing, and tearing through them, their guts floating around like fluffy clouds.

  A man’s roars echoed in the air near me.

  “No!” I bellowed. We would not lose. We would not be forgotten here.

  Rage barreled me through, breaking the line, reaching the pocket of energy they were guarding. I could jump through. Be free.

  I whipped around, spotting his dark hair through the throng of puppets.

  “You. Do. Not. Get. Him,” I thundered, thrashing and slicing through to reach him, no longer feeling pain… only a feral need to get what was mine.

  Reaching for him, I yanked him through. With his free hand he tried to keep them at bay, biting and clawing like a wild animal. With a deep grunt, he rammed through the last toys, colliding into me with force, sailing me back. Energy rippled over my skin as my body lurched backward through the exit. Pressure stabbed at my head, zinging through my body as I stumbled through, his body landing half on top of mine as we crashed into the snow with a crunch, the box tumbling a few feet away.