by Cate Ashwood
His hand was still against my chest. He looked up at me. “Doesn’t matter. Look at you, though. I haven’t seen you look this devastatingly handsome since prom.”
I couldn’t help but laugh at that. Chase had gone stag since he refused to be “corralled into taking the only other homo in the school just because they both liked cock.” In hindsight, there were probably other gay kids in the school, but by then, Chase and Liam were the only ones who had come out and everyone expected them to end up together. Hell, I halfway did too.
At the time, I was still only acknowledging half of my bisexuality—the half that made me appear to be straight. It wasn’t until a couple of years later I was finally able to embrace both sides, and once I did, I realized I preferred being with men slightly more than women.
“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” I countered. “I’m devastatingly handsome in anything I wear.”
“You mean like your Buzz Lightyear underwear and the free Taco Bell T-shirt you won at Webster’s Cinco de Mayo night?”
“Exactly like that,” I confirmed.
“Yeah, that combo really does it for me. I just never told you.” Sarcasm dripped from his words.
“Well, I’m glad you told me now. It’ll be my new house uniform. Can’t do enough to please my new husband.”
Chase chuckled. “You know you can see your ass through that underwear, right?”
That, I did not know.
Chapter Thirteen
Chase
Our friends were like a bunch of vultures all sitting around waiting to see the carnage of our fake marriage filleted out before them, so when we walked into Webster’s that Friday night, Alec’s hand resting gently against my lower back and smiles on both our faces, we were met with looks of confusion.
I tried not to laugh at Brynn’s blatant disappointment the relationship hadn’t dissolved. I also tried not to be offended. It had only been two weeks. Surely I deserved a little more faith than this.
Okay, so yeah, things between us had been a bit… weird. Not bad weird necessarily, but things had changed. I wasn’t sure if it was all in my head, or if I was the only one who was beginning to think differently about my best friend. I don’t know when it happened. Maybe the moment he’d kissed me the last time we’d been in this bar. Maybe before that. But Alec had snapped into focus and I was seeing things about him I’d never noticed before.
And not only how anal he was about the ripeness of his fucking melons, but like how fluid his body was when he moved, or the way his eyes looked sort of soft when he was tired. When he looked at me with those sleepy eyes, I wanted to curl around him and let him hold me close. I wanted to lose myself in the strength of him and the warmth of him and let the rest of the world fall away.
Those were big feelings, and feelings that were both novel and terrifying at the same time. My solution to the problem was obviously to ignore it completely. Whatever weird vibes I was getting—or was imagining I was getting—would be gone in two more weeks and we could go back to the way we were before all this happened.
“How’s married life treating you?” Jo asked with a little more kindness than I would have gotten from Brynn.
“Different than I thought it would be,” I admitted. Jo was a relative newcomer to our group, having married into it through Reid, but she was the person—other than Alec—who understood me the best. Maybe it was because she taught the second grade, and I had more than I cared to admit in common with a seven-year-old. Whatever it was, I felt comfortable confiding in her.
“That’s to be expected,” she replied. “I think everyone feels that way, and that’s after most of us had time dating and then the engagement to get used to the idea of spending that much time with someone. You guys were thrust into it with no warning and no preparation.”
I shrugged. “I guess.”
She grabbed my hand. “Come on. Let’s get some drinks.”
I elbowed Alec in the ribs. “You want anything from the bar?”
His expression of annoyance softened when he realized I was buying. “Sure. Surprise me.”
Jo and I pushed our way through the throngs of people and managed to snag two stools in the corner. While we waited for the bartender to get to us, Jo pinned me down with her stare.
“Okay, so spill. What’s been going on?”
I laughed. She wore demandingness like an ill-fitting coat, far too sweet to pull it off. “There’s nothing going on.”
“You’re really going to feed me that line?” She sounded almost hurt.
“It’s the truth,” I insisted. “Other than the kiss you witnessed last week, nothing has happened between us. We’re the same people we’ve always been, maintaining the same friendship we always have. Living together hasn’t brought about some grand fucking revelation and suddenly it’s a real marriage.”
“Then how is it different than you expected?”
The bartender chose that moment to take our drink orders. I used the time to give Jo’s question some thought. I didn’t know exactly how to answer her. A lot of the weirdness I felt was in my head, and I wasn’t even sure Alec was feeling the same way. Jo was a friend, and a good one, but I didn’t know how much I wanted to divulge about the torrent of bullshit running through my head.
“So?” she pressed once the bartender had our order.
“It’s different living with someone. I’m a lot to handle, you might have noticed.”
Jo laughed. “I can see that.”
“So Alec was used to me in small doses, and now it’s all me, all the time. I’m everywhere and it’s taking some adjustment for him to get used to having me in his face. A real marriage is probably the same, but there are obvious limitations to how close we can get to the real thing.”
“Such as?”
“The physical stuff, obviously. Alec may have kissed me last week to shut you all up, but that’s all that’s happened and that was just for show.”
“Do you wish it wasn’t?”
Smart woman. She didn’t miss a thing, did she?
“Nope,” I replied as convincingly as I could manage.
“Liar,” she shot right back.
“So it was a pretty good kiss, and Alec is one of the hottest guys I’ve ever known, but we’ve been friends a long time. If things were to get weird… I couldn’t handle losing him over a night or two of sex.”
“Even though it would most likely be the best sex you’ve ever had.”
I grinned. “Yep, even though.”
The bartender appeared once more with drinks in hand and slid them over the bar. I paid while Jo gathered as many as she could carry into her hands.
“What took you guys so long?” Brynn asked when we arrived back at the group.
“Just a busy night,” Jo said.
“So what did you two get up to this week?” Serena leaned forward in her seat as though she was waiting for us to disclose all sorts of dirty details.
“Alec and I started up our own channel on a couple of porn sites. We figured if we’re living together and doing nothing but fucking, we might as well cash in. So far it’s great.” I never broke eye contact with her but slid my hand down Alec’s chest. “It pays better than the day job, so we’ve been playing hooky and it’s nothing but blowjobs and rimming all day long.”
For a second I thought she believed me, but then her eyebrows furrowed and she scrunched her mouth into a displeased expression before turning her attention to Alec. “I am going to commend you now. You’re only halfway through the month, and I don’t know how you haven’t killed him already.”
Alec shrugged. “His risotto is bloody good.”
I groaned. “Did you make a pun joke?”
The rest of the group looked confused. I shook my head.
“The week’s been normal,” Alec said. “Mostly working, some vegging at home, but yesterday was the grand opening of Chase’s park on Belmont.”
Jo hit my shoulder. “Why didn’t you tell us?”
> I grunted. “It wasn’t a big deal.”
“It’s a very big deal,” Jo insisted. “We should be celebrating.”
“You should see it. It’s amazing.”
“Hang on,” Brynn said before turning and hurrying away.
“What’s that all about?” Alec asked.
“Sudden incontinence?” I suggested.
In no time at all, Brynn was back carrying a bottle of champagne, which she stashed in her purse along with a stack of red Solo Cups. “Let’s go.”
Eight blocks later, we were gathered in the same spot I’d stood while the mayor cut the ribbon the day before. Pride simmered in my veins as I looked into the space. At night it was transformed, the glow from the bistro lights illuminating the area below, complemented by the in-ground lights dotted around the perimeter. The waterfall cascaded down, adding the sound of softly rushing water to the cool night air.
It was fucking magical is what it was.
“This is incredible, Chase.” Brynn sounded genuinely impressed.
“Thanks.”
We entered the park, and Reid pulled a few of the tables together so we could sit as a group. Once we were all seated, Serena popped the champagne and filled a cup for each of us.
“Congratulations, Chase,” Jo said, the first to lift her cup.
Everyone echoed the sentiment, then took their first sips. I sat there grinning like I’d found out I was about to have a threesome with Nick Bateman and Matt Bomer. Okay, so maybe praise from my friends wasn’t quite comparable with a Bateman/Bomer sandwich, but it was a pretty close second.
So often I felt like I was the loser of the group. I had a good job, but that was about as far as I’d gotten. A dumpy apartment, a serious inability to manage the adult aspects of the day-to-day, and relationships that never lasted beyond a week or two. On the scorecard of life, I was boasting big fat zeros in almost every column.
Most of the time it didn’t bother me. I was happy with my life. I liked things the way they were, but to be acknowledged for something I’d accomplished felt pretty damn good.
I looked up at Alec, who was staring back at me, pride coloring every inch of his face, and somehow the warm feeling I’d had a moment earlier flared to life and became all-consuming. Of all the people seated around me, his opinion mattered the most. To hear him brag about Belmont Park, the little pocket of the city I’d so painstakingly nurtured from inception to fruition, filled me with more satisfaction than anything.
Chapter Fourteen
Alec
Mint was the least obnoxious nightclub in the city. The clientele was decidedly less skeevy and less likely to have gotten in with fake IDs, and the cocktail waitresses weren’t showing nipple above their low-cut tops. It was my turn to pick the date, and while we’d been in a bar the night before, this felt different. I knew how much Chase loved to dance, and Webster’s had music, but no one ever danced.
Clubs had never been my thing, but I wanted Chase to have a good time, and I figured I could get some good scotch while Chase shook whatever he wanted to on the dance floor.
The club was upscale and trendy, the bar clad in black-and-white tile patterned into a chevron, with exposed brick behind. Bulbs hung in irregular heights from a beam to cast warm light over the bar, and there were burgundy leather booths lining the opposite wall. There was an upscale bar upstairs with music loud enough to drown out conversation, but not so loud as to split your skull with the bass.
Past the bar ran a long wrought iron railing along the edge that overlooked the dance floor down below. The lower level was lit from beneath by cool aqua lights that made the space look trendy and ethereal at the same time. It wasn’t quite ten o’clock, and the place was already packed.
We hadn’t made it down to the dance floor yet, opting instead to lubricate ourselves liberally with alcohol before venturing into the fray. It had started with a couple of beers, but we’d quickly moved on to the hard stuff. The more I drank, the less tense I became, my muscles relaxing with gentle persuasion from Jack Daniel’s.
“That guy over there has been staring at you since we came in,” I said, tilting my head as subtly as possible, motioning to the creep loitering near the bar.
Chase’s gaze followed mine, sliding to land on the guy staring at him with open interest. Chase laughed. “That’s Dominic.”
“Who the fuck is Dominic? Your stalker?” The light in the bar was dim, but from what I could see he looked like one of those shady used-car salesmen or a sleazy private investigator.
“Nah, he’s a guy I went out with a few times a couple of months ago.”
“Jesus Christ, Chase. Please do not tell me you let that guy fuck you.”
Chase shrugged. “Okay. I won’t.”
“Goddamn, really? That guy?”
“What? He knows what he’s doing.”
“He looks like a fucking creep. I wouldn’t let that guy near my truck, much less my dick.”
Chase looked at Dominic and then back at me. “Seriously? He’s tall, dark, and handsome, and you should see what’s hiding beneath those clothes. You’d look past the slicked-back hair.”
I seriously doubted that.
The guy caught us looking and flicked his wrist into a wave.
“I’m just going to go say hello.” I watched Chase set his drink down on the bar and cross the room toward the man watching him with a predatory glare. He grinned as Chase met him, his smile oily. I knocked back the rest of my drink and rested my tumbler on the bar, waiting for the bartender to return and refill it. As I waited, I studied Dominic, focusing on his face in the dim light, trying to see what Chase saw in him.
He wasn’t wholly unattractive if I looked hard enough. Rough stubble covered his jaw in shadow, and his dark eyes looked mysterious and dangerous. He carried himself with a confidence I supposed most people would find attractive. If I mentally broke him down into parts, I could see how handsome he was, but the way he was looking at Chase made me want to literally break him apart.
Heat and anger flared in my chest as Dominic’s hand smoothed down Chase’s back, and Chase leaned in to say something close to his ear. Dominic laughed and I could imagine the sound, as well as the sound of Chase’s laugh in return. It set my teeth on edge, and for the first time in a long time, I felt the need to hit something.
The bartender was back, and I motioned to him for another drink as I dropped a couple of bills onto the bar. It materialized in front of me within seconds, and without taking my eyes off Chase I downed it, not bothering to savor the smoothness. Instead, I needed it to numb the acid roiling in my belly.
It didn’t.
My glass thunked against the solid wood bar as I set it back down, empty, then stalked toward Chase and Dominic.
“Hey,” I said gruffly, crowding in close. Dominic narrowed his eyes at me, the annoyance clear in his expression.
“Who’s this?” he asked, his stare never wavering from me.
“I’m his husband,” I said without thinking. I knew I was being stupid and possessive, and the challenge was clear in my voice. I languished in the shock on his face. Our eye contact broke as he looked back and forth between Chase and me.
“You’re married?”
“Yep,” I answered for him as I slid my arm around Chase’s waist and led him away from the bar, over toward the stairs.
“What the hell, Alec?”
I ignored the annoyance in his voice. I just needed to get him away from Dominic. It was completely ridiculous. Other than a fake vow we’d made to one another, I had absolutely no say in who Chase spent time with, but something about that Dominic guy rubbed me entirely the wrong way.
“I wanna dance. C’mon.”
For a second, Chase looked like he was going to argue, but he clamped his mouth shut and let me pull him down the stairs to the lower level. The dance floor had filled since we’d arrived, and open space was scarce. The crowd ebbed and flowed like waves to the music, the bass thumping louder with each step
down.
We reached the edge of the dance floor, and I took Chase’s hand, leading him in through the mass of people to a spot near the center with enough room for me to spin him into my arms.
The moment his body lined up against mine, I knew this was a mistake, and the second he began to move against me, I knew there would be many more mistakes to come. I put my hands on him, let my fingertips feel the curve of his back, the dimples above the waist of his pants, the way his muscles bunched as his hips swayed with mine.
He spun, lining his back up against my front, his ass rubbing with maddening pressure against my groin. Taking my hand, he pulled me closer to him, intertwining his fingers with mine and holding them against his chest. I could feel his heart beating in time with mine, our bodies never stilling as we danced. Dropping his head back, he rested it against my shoulder, the long curve of his neck exposed to me. It took every drop of willpower I possessed not to dip my head and nuzzle against the soft skin there.
The music changed and he turned back to face me. He was molten in my arms, and his eyes were filled with heat. I didn’t know if I’d ever seen Chase like this—open and free—and all I wanted to do was kiss him. It had been a week since we’d kissed at Webster’s, and I’d done a decent job of shutting down my brain every time it wandered into dangerous territory. I’d managed not to think about it too much, not to dwell on how good Chase’s mouth felt against mine or the way my blood had lit like flash cotton too close to a flame.
Here, in the middle of a sea of people, Chase put his hands on me, drawing me close when I tried to pull away and holding me against him so I could feel he was as hard as I was. I wanted to climb inside him and never leave. It was potent and dangerous, and if I didn’t regain some of the control that was quickly slipping away, I was going to do irreparable damage to the best friendship I’d ever had.
With more force than I’d intended, I held him in place as I stepped back, the space between us feeling like a mile rather than the few inches it truly was. It was too loud for words, the music drowning everything out, but the look of hurt and confusion on his face as Chase stared at me conveyed more than words ever would have. I shot him a look of apology before I turned and walked off the dance floor.