Redemption

by Shey Stahl

  My problem was, all those scenarios were ones I knew once I got started, I wouldn’t stop.

  “I want to make sure you remember how good my touch is and how badly I want you.” I slid my fingers between her wet folds and she moaned, tipping her head back into my chest. Her cry, muffled by my hand, made my body tremble, warmth spreading throughout me like wildfire.

  I brushed my lips against her cheek, once, telling myself to pull away.

  No kissing.

  Fuck, stop it. Stop denying yourself everything. Kissing is fine.

  No. Kissing wasn’t fine because it always led to more. I couldn’t control myself.

  “Do you feel how badly I want you?” I ground into her, my cock pressed between the cheeks of her ass. “How badly I’ve always wanted you?”

  She nodded, my hand still clasped over her mouth.

  Biting on her ear, I breathed out. “Do you remember when you caught me in the shower and you watched?”

  Another nod, her body sinking into mine.

  “Fuck… it was so hard not to drag you in there with me and rip all your clothes off.” I drew in a shaking breath, my voice thick and gravely. “Make you suck my dick and then fuck you from behind so I could see that sexy ass in my hands.”

  Both my hands were soaked as the one covered her panting mouth, the other making slow circles around her swollen clit. And fuck if she wasn’t drenched between her legs. In detail, I imagined my finger was my dick sliding back and forth and it did nothing for the lack of restraint I had.

  Nearly to the point of no return, I had to create some distance. Stepping back, I separated myself from her and moved to the bed. Tallan did the same and I gave in again, her smell, her beauty, too consuming for me to stop.

  Tallan seemed to be the same and straddled me on the bed, my hands moving over her ass and clenching the sweat pants in my fists.

  Take them off. You still have five weeks until the fight. That’s enough time.

  No, you fuckin’ pussy! Control yourself. If you can’t do this, then you have no business getting inside the ring with him.

  It didn’t stop my mouth from finding hers with an inexorable force. Her lips parted, shaking against mine. “Destry… I want you so much. Just lay on me. I need to feel your weight on me.”

  “I can’t, baby.” My words sounded like a cry from a starved man. It was. “If I do, I won’t be able to stop myself.”

  “Then watch me.” She cooed, falling onto the mattress beside me, her hand inside of the sweat pants now. It was strangely more erotic with her keeping her pants and shirt on because I couldn’t see anything, but yet I knew what she was doing and the slivers of skin I was able to see were enough to make me crazy.

  My eyes went wild, fire burning deep inside me, my head buried in her sweet smelling hair but my body a good foot away from her. Her fingers went between her legs. I was utterly transfixed on her every movement. I could barely breathe watching her hips buck into her hand, pleasure defining her every feature in pure beauty. I imagined her and that vibrator again.

  “You’re so fucking beautiful, T. And when this is over, I’m going to spend months worshiping your body in every single way possible.”

  “I’m looking forward to it.” She moaned, never stopping her movements until she was squirming, calling out my name and rocking her hips up into her strokes against her clit.

  My stomach muscles jumped and I stood, having to separate myself. In a rush, I was in the bathroom behind the closed door and stripping away my clothes and climbing in the cold shower.

  I understood the reason why we couldn’t have sex, or shouldn’t. For many fighters, when sex was taken out of the equation, it drove you forward, mentally. Almost in the sense you had something to look forward to, it made you work harder. It was a sacrifice. One I hadn’t fully committed myself to yet and I would be lying if I didn’t say this was controlling me.

  A term used when punches are blocked or redirected before they land.

  Hit after hit I endured. Ones that rocked me back and against the ropes, dancing around. Lefts, rights, jabs, body shots, he was coming at me so fast I couldn’t keep up and then I’d find an opening, a moment when he left himself open and I could crowd him into the ropes, clinch and get in an uppercut or a hit to the side of his head to knock him off balance.

  “Your right needs to be as strong as your left,” Adam reminded me from the corner. “You fight like that, you’ll win.”

  I knew what Adam was getting at. I favored my left because it was where my power was. Lucas knew that though, and if I wanted to beat him, I needed to have the same power in my right when he wasn’t expecting it.

  Henley Viera wasn’t a strong hitter. Nothing like Lucas would be, or Marley Ellington, another sparring partner we brought in, but he was fearless and could pound my ass with a hail of roundhouse lefts and rights I would need to anticipate in the fight.

  “You’re doing good, man. Get in there and fight inside,” Adam told me during the one-minute rest. “Fighting inside is his weak point, as is Lucas’. You know his style and now you can anticipate it.”

  Shaking sweat from my eyes, I noticed Tallan sitting in the corner of the basement, writing.

  You would have thought I would have outlawed her from the ring, especially after last week. Unfortunately for me, Tallan was there taking notes and observing everything training for a fight entailed. Part of me was thrilled she cared and showed interest. The other part was annoyed. She was torturing me.

  “Why do they hit you so hard?” Tallan asked when we were done and I was sitting on the floor next to her, a wet towel over my face. “Shouldn’t they be taking it easy on you?”

  “They’re trying to prove themselves,” I told her, leaving the towel on my face. “They’re looking for a break too, and their reputations are on the line.”

  “So, you want that?”

  “I do. I want them coming at me with everything they have.” Removing the towel, I winked over at her. “Lucas isn’t going to take it easy on me, and if I’m training for what will happen that night, I’ll be more prepared.”

  Tallan was thoroughly engrossed in every aspect of the training. It didn’t have to do with the book. She was truly interested in it, sitting with me for hours as I analyzed film after film of Lucas fighting, looking for his weakness.

  Adam glared down at the two of us. “Are you finished? Can we get some damn work done today?”

  My thoughts were focused on Tallan now, and my dad, and Danny. Mostly on Tallan. And her pussy that I craved like a starving man. I was starving. For sex.

  Adam pushed me forward. “Take your frustrations out on the bag, kid.”

  I was no kid compared to Adam. He was only ten years older than me. But I went anyway. I did have work to do and taking my frustrations out on the bag was a lot better than Tallan’s pussy if I wanted a chance at the title.

  “HOW HARD DO you hit? I bet I could take a hit.” Jared was into provoking me with anything he could.

  For weeks Jared wanted to spar with me. I was sure he had no idea what sparring entailed if he was ready to get in a ring with me. That would be like me wanting to go out on patrol with him or on a bust. I wouldn’t know the first thing about how all that worked, so why he wanted to get in the ring with me was baffling in a sense.

  Or maybe it went back to men wanting to prove themselves. Like every other time I went into a bar or someone found out I was a professional boxer and thought to themselves, I’ll take him on. Whatever the reason, I finally agreed. “All right, let’s do it.”

  After taping his hands and getting him a pair of gloves, the two of us were in the ring. Adam, who had been outside on a phone call approached, shaking his head. “Are you insane?” He looked at Jared and then me. “This is a stupid idea.”

  I laughed. “You’re telling me.”

  “Come on, champ.” Jared waved me forward with one gloved hand. “Give it to me.”

  “You sure you can handle it?”
<
br />   “No, he can’t,” Adam noted from my corner. “What if you hurt the poor bastard?”

  “Hey!” Jared yelled, the sound muffled from his mouth guard, moving around the ring with fancy footwork he had no idea how to execute. It looked as if he was shuffling back and forth or trying to line dance. “I’ve got this.”

  Adam turned to Tallan and Catie standing beside the ring, both smiling. “Whose idea was this?”

  “His,” they both said together, Tallan pointing at me, Catie gesturing to Jared.

  “Don’t cry when I knock your teeth out.” Wearing no shirt and his slacks from his uniform, he motioned me forward again.

  “You talk a lot of shit for a cop who hangs out in a patrol car all day eating donuts.”

  Jared dropped his hands. “Do I look like I fuckin’ eat donuts all day?”

  I took my chance when I saw it and his guard was down and popped him with about half strength in the cheek.

  It stunned him enough that he stumbled back. “Jesus,” he grumbled, stepping away from me completely as I smiled at him. “Fucking shit. That stung.”

  No shit. I motioned him forward. “Come on, take your best shot at me.”

  “No, don’t,” Adam suggested, waving him off. “Stop playin’ around.”

  I smiled at him. “He’s not going to hurt me.”

  Just then, with my head turned to Adam, Jared nailed me in the side of the head. I saw stars, my vision blurring for a moment. Hunching forward, I grabbed the side of my head, drawing in a few quick breaths. Okay, I was wrong about this one.

  Adam jumped inside the ring, his arm on my back. “Please tell me you’re not hurt.”

  “Fuck yeah!” Jared pumped his hands in the air, his head tipped up toward the ceiling like he was praying. “I knocked the champ out.”

  Running around the ring, he was damn near prancing. I couldn’t help but laugh, shaking off Adam. “I’m fine.” I shook off Adam and moved to where Tallan and Catie were standing, smiling at them. “He’s at least got a jab going for him.”

  Jared stopped his prancing and eyed me seriously. “That was my right hook.”

  “Oh, yeah? Felt like a jab to me.”

  I’d clearly depressed him by that statement and moved to Catie for comfort. “Did you at least get a video of it?”

  “I did.” She held up her phone in hand. “See, you got him.”

  Jared watched it, and then watched it again. “Fuck, he’s right. It was a jab. Damn.” And then he looked at me, and Adam. “Can I try again?”

  “Sure.” I motioned him forward only to have Adam and Tallan grab my hands.

  “No way.” Adam stood between us. “That’s enough for today.”

  I wasn’t wearing headgear for one and that was a bad idea. The last thing I needed was an injury that could have set my training, or worse, the fight, back. “Yeah, they’re right.” I nudged the back of his head with my glove.

  “Damn.” And then Jared’s curiosity got the best of him. “How much did you put into that hit?”

  Glancing at Tallan, I wondered if I should lie, and then I did before I knew what I was doing. “That was full strength.”

  Adam gave me away by laughing. Jared looked defeated. “I knew it. How hard do you hit? Like when you’re in a fight and all the adrenaline is there?”

  Raising an eyebrow in Adam’s direction, I waited for him to give me the okay. I wasn’t sure Tallan had even seen me in full force yet. She’d been around during a few of the sparring sessions but not ones where I was going all out.

  Adam frowned. “You’re pushing it today.” But then he let out a deep sigh. “Mugsy!” Adam called out, knowing he was the only sparring partner who could take a hit by me and still be standing.

  “Fuck me,” Mugsy grumbled the entire way to the ring, something about a contusion or pissing blood last week as he stepped under the ropes and inside.

  Jared moved back and out of the way when I nodded for him to get out of the ring. Shaking out my shoulders, I bounced around after putting on the headgear.

  Across from me, Mugsy did the same and then shook out his arms, pacing in his corner. “Don’t kill me.”

  “I’ll try not to.” We met in the middle, bumping gloves before.

  Mugsy never took it easy on me but he wasn’t trying to hurt me. He was basically defending the punches and working the inside.

  I took it easy at first, dancing around, the way you should and not the way Jared thought it was done. When Mugsy and I finally came together, I let him toss the first punch and I dodged it, moving my upper body to the side like a trained dancer, gliding around it. Keeping my hands up, I rocked to the side dropping my left shoulder and jabbed at Mugsy, once, twice and then slid again, to the left this time, keeping my chin tucked down.

  We went at it for a few minutes, throwing jabs when Mugsy nodded, letting me know he could take it if I wanted. With a grin, I laid into him firing of a procession of jabs and uppercuts. When he twisted, I bobbed back and forth looking for my opening.

  Mugsy nailed me with a handful of flickering jabs, regaining his own footwork. I knew his pattern though and anticipated when he resorted to a hook and saw it coming. It took far more energy to throw a punch and miss than it did to land one.

  I think he knew his slip too and saw it coming. He flinched before I even hit him. Two jabs, another one and I fired off with my left hook with as much power as I would give in a fight.

  Mugsy’s head snapped back brutally and he stumbled to the side, but didn’t go down. I kept at it and went for the kill firing rights and left to the head, ribs and jaw as fast as I could, breathing out with each hit, the only sounds in the ring the thud of my gloves hitting him at rapid pace and my breathing, short quick breaths with each delivered punch.

  “That’s enough!” Adam snapped ringside and I let up immediately, backing up to give Mugsy some room.

  He struggled, brought to his knees by my punches, his mouth and nose bleeding.

  “Shit, man, I’m sorry.” I didn’t mean to hurt him but it felt good to let loose like that and prepare. I could only be careful for so long before I wanted some real chances to throw some fight punches.

  Mugsy waved me off and reached for his water bottle on the canvas. “No worries.”

  Adam handed me a towel as I walked back over to them. “Feel better?”

  I grunted at him. I guess in a way, I did. I needed that.

  My eyes met Tallan’s first, gaping wide like she’d never seen anything like that before. I studied her for a moment, wondering what she thought of it. Did it scare her?

  And then Jared, who was glaring at me. “You did not give me full force.”

  I held up my left hand. “You want it now?”

  “Nope.” He backed up immediately. “I’ll stick to eating donuts.”

  At least everyone got a laugh out of it. I still felt bad laying into Mugsy like that, but I also knew if anyone could take it, it’d be him.

  Tallan’s hand rested on my shoulder, sweeping over me. I turned and faced her, bringing her forward in a hug over the ropes. “That was insane.” With wide eyes, she kissed my shoulders and then my face. “You’re so quick.”

  I let out a breathless laugh. “Well, you kinda have to be.”

  “Are the fights like that?”

  “Sometimes.” Drawing back, I gave a nod to Adam to remove my gloves. “It’s not always like that though. There’s a lot of moving around and clinching. It’s not always full on action.”

  “How much are tickets to that fight?” Jared bumped my shoulder. “I think I need to see you in a real fight.”

  “If you want to go, let me know.” Looking to Adam, he gave me the nod, letting me know ringside tickets were still available. “I’ll get you a pair of ringside seats near Tallan.”

  I hadn’t come out and asked Tallan about going to the fight. I assumed she was going, though. Nothing she’d said so far had indicated otherwise.

  Jared smiled, his arm now around Ca
tie. “I’d love to go if I can get the time off.”

  “Just let Adam know. He’ll hold them for you.”

  Tallan didn’t say more until we were walking to my car in the parking lot, her chin rested on the roof as she leaned into the door. “Do you really want me at the fight?” I wasn’t sure of the look I gave her right then, but it was enough to make her backtrack her question. “I mean, you have like reserved seats?”

  “They give me some for my family.”

  “Are you going to invite your dad?”

  Nodding, I unlocked the doors. “I’ve been thinking about it. I thought maybe he might enjoy something like that.”

  “I think he would too.”

  When we were in the car, I reached over and grasped her hand. It looked tiny compared to mine, placed gently in my palm. “You want to go, right?”

  “Very much so. Especially after seeing you sparring like that. I mean, shit, I’ve seen you sparring, but you really put yourself into that one. I’ve never seen you moving and hitting that fast before.”

  “It felt good too.” Waggling my eyebrows, I leaned forward to start my car, watching Jared and Catie pull out of the parking lot. “I didn’t realize how much I needed it.”

  Tallan inhaled a breath, shaking her head. “I don’t like the sight of blood, makes me want to vomit, but I can’t believe how intense and addicting that is… and I’m only watching.”

  I smiled but didn’t say anymore, just listened, knowing her excitement to see a professional fight was growing.

  “Is that what it’s like in a real fight?”

  I nodded. “Similar but the aggression is taken up a notch.”

  Excitement swarmed in her eyes. “I can’t wait to watch you beat the crap out of Ray Lucas.”

  The fact that Tallan was excited to see me fight filled me with pride I didn’t know I was craving. It gave me more to work for in some ways. I wanted to show her how good I was.

  I wanted to make her proud to call someone like me her man.

  Refers to a boxer on the verge of defeat who has been knocked against the ropes and kept there by his opponent’s blows.