Chuck took a deep breath, trying to calm down, then looked away from Bruce's feet and turned around before his blocked tears came out.
"Wait," he heard Bruce say. "Come in."
He turned back and dared to look at Bruce – he was smiling. Could it be?
"I don't want to put up a show for the neighbors, come in," Bruce insisted, amused.
Dazed, Chuck obeyed. He walked to the couch and slumped on it like a robot, his head unable to process anything. Bruce sat near him, but not too close, and Chuck felt the sky-blue stare on him.
"Why do you think I chose you among the bass players of our school?" Bruce said tenderly. "I didn't think our stares were casual. But I thought you admired the Pearls of Wisdom and when I saw how hard you worked for us, I convinced myself you only wanted fame. The girls I brought to our room, I brought them for you."
Chuck snapped out of his trance and stared at Bruce, incredulous. "You thought I was...?"
"You thought the same about me, didn't you?" Bruce grinned.
"But I... but you..." Chuck was speechless.
Bruce took Chuck's face in his hands and brushed Chuck's lips with his. They looked each other in the eyes and no more words were needed. Kisses rained as hands explored and bodies got entangled in passion.
"Let's go upstairs to my room," Bruce whispered, breathless, holding Chuck tight even on the stairs.
The room door banged close as they frantically undressed each other. They stood still for a moment, panting, staring at each other's nakedness, then fell into each other's arms again.
Chuck thought it was the best day of his life. He didn't have to leave the band and Bruce loved him. All his dreams had come true.
Heartbreaker
Colin thought Bernie was a little too passive. In spite of Colin's arousal, his love for Bernie, the happiness of entering Bernie's body, Colin felt Bernie was present, but not with his mind. He came with a moan and slumped on his lover's body, still dazed by his desire, but realizing the other hadn't uttered a sound.
"What?" he asked, sliding off of Bernie to lie next to him and look him in the eyes.
"I'm bored." Bernie rolled on his back with a sigh. He hadn't come, unlike the first time and a few more. He wasn't even aroused.
"You're... bored?" Colin asked, stunned.
"Yeah." Bernie looked at him, indifferent. "We're history, Colin."
"What?" He rose on one elbow, incredulous. "After everything you've done, chasing me for months, seducing me, now you tell me we're history?"
"I had you, Colin," Bernie replied. "I'm not interested anymore."
Colin gaped, angry and surprised. Bernie flashed his dazzling smile at him, shrugged and pulled himself up, gathering his clothes.
"Don't look for me," Bernie said, jeans on but still bare-chested. "Get out of here."
Colin snapped out of his incredulity. He quickly dressed and rushed out, his heart thundering against his chest. What kind of monster was Bernie? He was doing just fine until the gorgeous quarterback has started hitting on him. He had resisted to the school's most beautiful boy's charm for months, but now he was in love and what did he find out? That it was a game. Bernie was too handsome to fall in love and enjoyed the conquest more than the relationship.
I knew I should have resisted! Colin was mad at himself, but it was too late. Every day he saw Bernie at school and every day was torture. He wanted Bernie, the sight of his schoolmate aroused him in spite of seeing him preying on his next victim. From the expression on the other boy's face, he'd be an easy catch. Besides, the school year was almost over, and Bernie didn't have much time – he had wasted too much trying to get into Colin's pants.
Bernie had started with compliments in the showers or in the locker-room after school games. Then he had suggested they study together. Then he had started touching, followed by his luscious lips exploring. He had been slow but constant and Colin had fallen in his seductive net.
And now here he was, seduced and abandoned, watching Bernie doing the same to someone else. Useless trying to warn the prey – someone had tried to warn him "Watch out, Bernie is a real bitch!" but he had ignored the warning. That angel face couldn't be a real bitch, could he?
Turned out he was, damn him. Son of a bitch. I wish I could fuck him one last time.
His heart bled. It wasn't just sex – except last time when fucking Bernie had been the equivalent of jerking off. And now he was left with his own hand pleasuring him in memory of those hours spent with Bernie.
***
Bernie opened the restroom door, but someone pushed him back inside, locking the door behind them. Not really surprised to recognize his aggressor, Bernie stared at Colin's frown, undaunted.
"What do you want?" Bernie asked.
Colin was panting and couldn't take his eyes off of him. Lust. That lust he had awakened with patient courtship.
"I want you." Colin's voice was husky.
"Not interested," Bernie answered – although a part of him was still attracted to the raven hair and obsidian eyes in front of him. He thought Colin was sexy in spite of himself.
"I love you," Colin insisted.
"I never mentioned love. Only lust. And I don't want you anymore."
"But I still want you, Bernie!"
"You're obsessed. Definitely lust on your side."
His quiet reaction was driving Colin crazy. He could see how his schoolmate struggled against himself. He noticed the hard-on pressing on Colin's jeans.
He guffawed. "We should go back." Although it would look funny if Colin went around school with that bulge in his pants.
"Later."
Colin turned him around and pushed him against the wall. Bernie let Colin pull down his jeans, listening to Colin's ragged breath. Definitely lust. Poor Colin, he thought he was in love.
Pressed against the wall, Bernie allowed Colin to fuck him, like he had done when he had dumped him. He felt Colin relax against him after he came.
"I hate you, Bernie," he heard the other whisper.
Then he was free. But he didn't move until he heard the door bang closed. Only then did he move away from the wall and pulled up his jeans with a sigh.
***
Asshole, Colin thought, furious. I couldn't even hurt him, make him scream. Bastard. Piece of shit. Son of a bitch.
His eyes stared in the distance as his parents drove away from the town. They were relocating, it was over. He'd never see Bernie again.
That's what he'd thought, his heart broken, on a sad day of his fifteenth year. As many years had gone by now, and he was different. The boy who had fallen in love with Bernie had probably died in the school restroom.
At thirty Colin couldn't feel his heart anymore. He didn't fall in love. Bernie's game had healed him from the pains of love.
He'd had many lovers, but he had learned the lesson from his first crush – he enjoyed the conquest, didn't want the relationship. He seduced them and dumped them, much like it had happened to him.
He was known as a heartbreaker, but his job made him travel a lot and it wasn't hard to find new victims. Fifteen years later he went back to the murder scene. He called it the "murder scene" because that was where his heard had died. Who knew what happened to the murderer.
He didn't look for Bernie, but Bernie found him by chance, due to their current jobs. They stared at each other after fifteen years of silence. Bernie still looked like an angel and Colin frowned. The silly haircut of their youth had gone out of fashion and Bernie kept his blond hair short. The suit looked good on the body that hadn't changed much since high school. The face had lost all childhood features, but still had the square jawbone and luscious lips.
"How are you"? Bernie broke the silence.
"Why do you ask?" he replied, hostile.
"Because I haven't heard from you in years," Bernie answered. "I'm glad you're back."
"Really? Why?" he asked, sarcastic. "You want to have another pass?"
"Why not?" Bernie smiled. "We ha
d a great time together."
You had a great time breaking me! "We were boys," he said with contempt.
"I'm sure you're much better now," Bernie teased, oblivious.
"Oh, I learned the lesson, master," he assured. "Maybe I'm even better than you, now. We could count how many lovers we've had in the past fifteen years and see who wins."
Bernie's smile vanished. "You're not that kind of man. If you fall in love, it's for life."
Colin scoffed. "And what do you know about that?"
"It showed. You can't love two boys or have sex without love."
"Oh, so you're the expert, huh? You know everything about me!" Colin was having fun now. "Why do you ask for news, then? You already know everything."
"I don't know anything." Bernie lowered his eyes, upset.
"Why don't you come over tonight, so we can figure out how much we changed?" Colin suggested. "And bring the list of your lovers, I'll try to prepare mine."
Bernie stared at him for a full minute before nodding his acceptance.
***
Bernie rang Colin's bell with contrasting feelings. He was happy but at the same time terrified by what he had glimpsed in the morning. Maybe Colin had really changed, even if not physically. Actually, Colin looked better and sexier outside as he welcomed him with a grin.
"Did you bring your list?" Colin asked.
"No," Bernie answered, serious. "It sounds childish and we're grown up men now."
"Suits you." Colin shrugged. His T-shirt underlined his muscled torso and the tight-fitting jeans made him look great.
Colin's thin lips went up a notch as he noticed Bernie's appreciation. Bernie gulped down his distress – roles were reversed. Now it was Colin who seemed ready to seduce and dump him, and he was the prey.
"Colin." His fists dived inside his pockets before his fingers reached out for Colin. "What happened to you?"
"Nothing," Colin answered with a mischievous smile. "Bedroom is this way."
"No, wait, I want to talk first."
"I have nothing to say, Bernie. It's been fifteen years and I still want to fuck you."
Colin moved towards the bedroom, taking off his T-shirt and throwing it at Bernie with a devilish grin.
Bernie clenched his teeth, controlling his growing desire. Lust, not love. He had turned Colin into a heartless fucker.
"Coming or not?" Colin asked before vanishing in the bedroom.
God, what did I do to him? Guilt washed over Bernie, destroying his arousal. He remembered a romantic and cheerful boy and found a cynical young man who thought only about sex.
I broke his heart, he realized to late.
"Bernie!" Colin called.
Bernie ran away, choking on his guilt.
***
Colin was furious. Bernie had run away without giving him what he wanted. Not only that, but he didn't want to go out with him again. They had exchanged numbers, but Bernie was always busy when Colin asked him out.
He wants to seduce me again. But I'll be the seducer this time!
Just because he didn't fall in love didn't mean he couldn't pretend. He could play many parts – the innocent, the victim, the dictator, the outgoing, the sociopath – anything to seduce his prey.
It was harder with Bernie, but he eventually managed to get him in his bed. For a brief moment, while he fucked Bernie, he felt fifteen again – exhilarated and in love – then hatred was stronger once more. The line between the two was too thin.
"Do you think we could have a second chance?" Bernie asked shyly.
"What?" He was already thinking about his next adventure.
"Us," Bernie insisted. "We're not teenagers anymore and we could..."
Colin looked at him and burst out laughing. "I had you, Bernie. I don't want you anymore."
Bernie batted his eyelids to stop tears, sighed and averted his eyes.
"I deserve it," he whispered. "We're even."
"At last." Colin stared at the ceiling again, satisfied.
"I didn't want to hurt you like that, Colin."
"What?" Colin was distracted again.
"I didn't want you to become like this."
Colin noticed Bernie's eyes were filled with tears.
"You're fifteen years late," he snapped. Bad timing for an apology.
"Colin, I was only sixteen myself," Bernie reminded him. "Everybody loved me, and I wanted everybody to love me. Whoever ignored me must be seduced. I wanted to be at the center of the attention."
"Your problem."
"Yeah, but now it's your problem. I toyed with your feelings and to avoid being hurt again you shut down your heart. It's my fault if you don't want to fall in love again, because I was stupid a lifetime ago."
"Half a lifetime," he retorted. But Bernie was right about the rest. Good thing he felt guilty about it. Served him right.
"What will you do now?" Bernie asked, worried.
"About what?" Jarred, Colin glared at him. "What else do you want from me?"
"I want to know how you will spend your life with that heart of stone I gave you. I admit I've discovered love late, when I actually lost it, and I didn't react like you. Maybe I was older and wiser, or maybe you can't fight against death. Anyway, I had good memories of you and I hoped..." Bernie sighed. "Never mind. Sorry, I didn't want it to end like this. I hope you soon find someone to rekindle that fire inside you that I extinguished fifteen years ago."
Colin stared at him, upset. Humility and worry didn't suit Bernie and were getting on his nerves.
Bernie got out of bed and got dressed. "Good luck, Colin," he said from the door, staring at him as if apologizing one last time,
Colin threw a pillow at him. I don't want your pity, you bastard son of a bitch... He hid his face in his other pillow, almost choking, but unable to stop the sobs bursting out of the crack in his heart of stone.
***
Colin was too tired to go out so he ordered pizza delivery. As he waited, he finished what he was doing and switched off the laptop. He felt exhausted and fed up – maybe he needed a vacation. He had been working hard for way too long and hadn't had a real vacation in years, considering his sexual adventures his way to decompress. Obviously going back to the town where he'd attended high school had done him no good.
The delivery guy had dark-chocolate skin and very white teeth. "Here you are, sir."
Colin gave him a fifty dollars bill.
"I don't have change, sir, you should have mentioned it on the phone!"
Colin snorted and went to the coins mug, finding enough to pay for the pizza. His head was spinning, he really needed to sit down. He gave the coins to the young black man as his eyes failed him and a shadow covered him. He was about to close the door when he felt a rip in his heart and lost consciousness.
He woke up in hospital. A mild heart attack due to tiredness and stress. Nothing bad, but the delivery guy had saved him by calling the ambulance.
The young man even came to visit him. "My name is Ollie," he said. "Glad to see you made it."
"Thank you for saving me," Colin answered, still dazed.
He started fearing solitude. What if he got sick again and nobody was there to call an ambulance? The crack in his heart of stone got bigger as he thought about the nice black guy that had saved him.
He ordered pizza a few days later, envisioning Ollie. He brightened at the sight of the black delivery guy. "I didn't hope to see you again! You work every day?"
"No, I'm off on Wednesdays," Ollie answered, amused.
"So we could dine together on Wednesday?"
"Sure, but no pizza! I'll cook."
"You can cook?"
"I sure can!"
"Whoever marries you is lucky!"
"Very funny. I'd tell you to come over, but it's not safe for a pretty white boy like you, so I'll come here with everything I need."
"Sounds good," Colin said with a smile.
Thus the heartbreaker became jelly in the dark arms of his latest lover. Oll
ie wasn't the first black man in Colin's bed, but he was the one who lasted, allowing Colin's heart to beat again – Colin was alive and happy with Ollie by his side.
Colin stopped changing bed partners and moving around, and a few months later – meeting Bernie and his new boyfriend – he discovered time had finally healed his wound.
Gardener
The limo had tainted windows, but Clive could see outside, unseen. He didn't miss the new gardener as the limo passed by the alley next to the mansion. His eyes caressed the well-toned body, half naked under the summer sun and crowned by golden hair. His heart missed a beat, blood went to his privates, but his face remained impassive.
"Who's that?" he asked his father with feigned disinterest while the sublime vision vanished behind the laurel bushes.
"Old Jeremy retired," his father answered absentmindedly. "He recommended his nephew and I'm not complaining yet."
Since when do we have that wonder instead of old Jeremy? Clive mused. He smiled to himself and didn't say anything.
The gardener lived in a little house at the back of the park surrounding the mansion, invisible from the main compound except for a piece of roof from some first-floor windows. Clive had to wait a few days before going to take a better look at the new gardener. But finally, on a sunny afternoon, he found a couple of hours to "walk in the park" and headed for the blond angel he had only glimpsed so far.
Clive found him trimming the bushes around the pool, bare-chested and with a baseball cap against the sun.
"Hi," he greeted. "I'm Clive."
"I know, sir." The other stared at him with sky-blue eyes and Clive's heart jumped in his throat. "My name is Bert and I'm Jeremy's nephew."
"Now that we've taken the obvious out of the way..." Clive tried to control himself, but his arousal kept him on edge. What a hairless, muscled torso. Oh, those biceps... and the luscious lips! Pity the bush hid the lower half of that breathtaking beauty. "How old are you?" he managed to ask, keeping his voice steady.
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