Today People

by Barbara G. Tarn

  I guess it was time to make some kind of point of how I got this far, but there isn't much to say. I had a boring life (for whoever was not me living it) with its highs and lows. Anyway, I'm back to journaling after a ten-years break, and it feels great!

  ***

  "Chris, I'm stuck!" Linda complained.

  Chris sighed and went to her workstation.

  She pointed at her computer with a look of despair. "Damn thing hates me!"

  "No, it doesn't," he chided, leaning on the keyboard.

  "Want to sit down?" she offered as he unblocked her file and finished what she had attempted.

  He shook his head – it was really a quick fix. If you weren't a technophobe like Linda, that is. And she was in her thirties, not sixties, but she obviously preferred shopping to her computer.

  "I wish I was that good," she gushed as he straightened after solving her problem.

  "Choices, Linda," he replied. "It's all a matter of choices."

  He pulled back from her workstation noticing her cleavage one more time. Fashion addict.

  "Thank you, Chris!" She batted her eyelashes. "I'll buy you a coffee."

  "How about dinner instead?" He winked at her, knowing she was married and wouldn't really be able to follow through. Even if her husband didn't work for the Goldberg Corporation, Chris had met him.

  She smiled. "You date married women now?" she asked, hopeful.

  "Why not."

  "Okay, then. When?"

  "I'll check my schedule."

  He went back to his cubicle, knowing he'd never go out with her – and so did she. He heard her grumble about it. He might be the company's hottest bachelor, but he wasn't going to date colleagues, especially not the married ones!

  He was happy with his own choices. He was good at his job, and he knew it. He had chosen work as his priority and was very fond of his boss, Mr. Goldberg, who had shown much faith in him through the years.

  When he finished his working day, he stopped by his favorite bookshop and picked a couple of fiction titles. He was on first name basis with the salesgirl, who greeted him with a smile.

  "You keep coming back," she said.

  "I'm a stalker." He frowned, pretending to be a stalker.

  She giggled. "I thought you were only a compulsive reader."

  "Yes, it was my evil twin who asked you out and made such a fool of himself," he answered, handing her the books.

  She chuckled, shaking her head. "So you're the one who reads all these books, and your evil twin is the one who asks out salesgirls?"

  "Busted." He shrugged and she laughed.

  "I liked the idea of the evil twin, though," she said. "Where did it come from?"

  "Maybe some book I've read."

  "Ever considered writing?" she suggested.

  "Nah. I'm too busy."

  "I bet you are." She looked skeptical as she took his money.

  He smiled sheepishly. "Wanna go out again?"

  "Sorry, busy this weekend," she apologized.

  He nodded with a sigh. His attempts at changing his routine always ended badly somehow. He was glad Naomi didn't hold it against him. Their date had been awkward, as if outside the bookshop they were total strangers – and maybe they were. He didn't need a steady girlfriend, so he had given up on the whole thing before it even started. But now that he got the dating out of the way, he felt much better. Not that he was forced to do his move, he'd just thought it was expected. It didn't matter if it didn't work out.

  She handed him back the books and change. "Don't worry, we weren't meant to be anyway."

  Chris smiled and waved good-bye. Definitely a smart gal. Useless toying with her, unless he decided to get serious – which would probably never happen. He didn't want a steady relationship – again, his choice. It was always a matter of choices, and he didn't care anymore if others didn't understand him.

  ***

  Chris sat with his best friend Mike at the cafeteria, having lunch. Another weekend gone – in the company of books.

  "I had to finish my David Eddings marathon," he explained to Mike, who shook his head in disbelief. "All the five books of the Belgariad and the five of the Malloreon in a weekend, so I'm ready for Belgarath the Sorcerer and Polgara the Sorceress."

  "Good God, Chris, don't you have anything better to do than spend your weekend reading?" Mike protested.

  "My girlfriends were all busy." Chris shrugged. What was wrong with spending a weekend in a fantasy world after a week in the corporate world? He wasn't doing it every week, only when he needed some time for himself!

  Mike sighed. "We're going out next Friday. Will you come?"

  "I'll see what I can do."

  Mike rolled his eyes and shook his head again. "Sometimes I wonder why I'm still talking to you!"

  Chris grinned. "Because we grew up together but I ended up with a better career than yours?"

  Mike laughed. "Yeah, right! That's what friends are for!"

  Linda passed by them on her way out with other colleagues and she brushed Chris's shoulder with her hand. "Hey, Chris. Hi, Mike."

  "Linda." Chris nodded.

  "Hi," Mike said, following her with his eyes.

  They were almost alone in the cafeteria by now and Mike's smile vanished. "You know, I'd love you to show up with the same girl twice in a row some time," he said with a frown.

  "You met Sandy, Carrie..."

  "They're fuck buddies!"

  "I don't want a relationship."

  Mike sighed, raising his hands in surrender. "Okay. It's your life."

  ***

  Checked 40-somethings on Meetic. Not sure I like this. I don't know what I want. Well, I know what I DON'T want. No fanatics of any kind (religious, sports, politics, whatever). And I'm looking for a non-smoker at least 5'8''. Not much else. I don't think I really want him anyway – my wildest dreams keep going to more famous faces of bachelors who will never see me. Men I'll never meet in person and if I ever will, maybe I won't like them. Anyway, where does it say I must find a significant other? Paul is right, friends are more important! I'm doing this Meetic thing just to try something else, but I'm not too fond of chat rooms in spite of watching Closer (or maybe precisely because I watched Closer...)!

  ***

  "Hey, Chris, time to go!" Mike called him one Friday afternoon.

  "I'm not quite done here, go ahead," he replied without taking his eyes from his laptop or stopping what he was doing.

  Mike stepped in his cubicle. "C'mon, it's Friday, don't you have any dates tonight?" he asked, frustrated.

  "No, I called it off. I want to finish this. It's for Mr. Goldberg himself."

  "Chris, go home, you don't own this company!" Mike chided.

  "Not yet, but one day I might and then I'll fire you," he replied, teasing his old friend with a cordial punch.

  "Thanks, buddy," Mike retorted. "Remember you'll have to answer to Diane for that!"

  "Ouch!" Chris pretended to cringe. "Then I better keep you, you lazy bum..."

  Mike laughed goodnaturedly. "See you on Monday, you crazy workaholic!"

  Chris shooed him off and worked on, way into the night. Finally he switched off his computer, sighed and stretched his limbs. Time to go home, eat something and curl up in bed with a good book.

  The night watchman waved at him in the lobby. "Always the last one out, Mr. Coleman! Have a nice weekend!"

  "Sorry to keep you up, have a nice weekend too," he answered, leaving the building. He ignored the comment behind his back – he had a life and was very happy with it.

  ***

  "Ever considered parenthood?" Linda asked during a break at the coffee machine, staring at Chris and ignoring Mike's scoff.

  "Should I?" Chris replied, puzzled.

  "Well... why not?" Linda insisted.

  "It takes two to start a family."

  "And what are you waiting for?" she insisted. "Do you really think that other person will fall out of the sky just for you?"

&nbs
p; "I don't think angels exist," Chris retorted.

  Mike shook his head. "You're wasting your time," he told Linda.

  "But Chris, wouldn't you like someone taking care of you when you're much older?" Linda looked worried now.

  "That's a very selfish reason to have kids, Linda, dear!" Chris observed. "You know what Mike used to say?"

  "Oh, please, don't!" Mike moaned.

  "When he was a kid, he said he'll have plenty of children so they'd work for him," Chris continued.

  "Very smart," Linda commented. "But then he had only one daughter and he adores her."

  "I know." Chris sighed theatrically. "Unfortunately people change."

  "Except you!" Mike shot.

  Chris shrugged with a smile.

  "I'm sure you want a family as much as everybody else," Linda insisted.

  Chris stiffened and his smile vanished. "I have a family, Linda, and I'm very happy with it," he snapped, sick of the conversation.

  "Really?" she mocked. "Can I meet them?"

  "You work here, so you're part of it."

  "Aw, come on..."

  "And that's final." He glared at her, throwing his plastic cup in the garbage bin, and stomped away.

  2.

  I've watched The Forty-year-old Virgin on DVD. Interesting male perspective. I can't say I feel the same. I mean, I don't know. Since Prince Charming fell off his pedestal, I don't care anymore. There was a time when I considered hiring a male escort to lose my virginity – it felt like a burden at the time – but luckily I never did it. So here I am, the white fly, the black sheep, the unique person that I've become. The forty-year-old virgin gal. In an age when everybody discovers sex in their teens. Well, not me, and now I'm not interested anymore. And seeing myself as an old spinster doesn't look that bad anymore. I'm sick of trying to please and adjust when nobody does the same in return. And I discovered that people like me anyway, even if I'm just being myself. Heck, I've got men wanting to meet me even if I DIDN'T put my pic on Meetic! It's kinda fun, so far, but I don't know how long I'll keep doing it. Of course these men don't know about me – and I won't tell them. I don't care anymore. I think I started a second life – the life of the successful, single author married to Mr. Writing and to hell with flesh and blood men! Whether I met only morons or it wasn't meant to be, I don't care anymore. I've got better things to do than pine for attention. Men will remain a mystery until my next life? Fine, I can live without them! Here's to my babies (stories) who are boldly going out in the world, making me very proud!

  ***

  Mr. Goldberg was a little over sixty, a rich businessman with flair. Chris was very pleased by his words for a job well-done. Again he hadn't disappointed his boss who had put so much faith in him. Mr. Goldberg was the father of his adoptive family – Goldberg Corporation – and Chris respected him. He had worked hard to become an executive, so Mr. Goldberg's appreciation was a great satisfaction.

  "But, Mr. Coleman, there is one thing I worry about," the man said, putting down the file and staring at him from across his mahogany desk. Chris was seeing his boss's office more and more often in the past year, and was really hoping it would bring another promotion soon.

  "Sir?" Chris stared at him, puzzled. That was the first time a problem was mentioned.

  "You're not married," Mr. Goldman said. "Which, for a family-oriented company like ours is kind of... off-putting."

  A slap in the face would have hurt less. Chris should have seen it coming. He had often been left behind in his climb to give precedence to married men. But Mr. Goldberg was always so encouraging with him, he didn't think his being single actually mattered. So far.

  "Sir, I didn't have much time to find a wife!" Chris protested. "The company takes all of my attention..."

  "And I commend you for that. I know how hard you've been working, hence I'm taking some pressure off your shoulders." Mr. Goldberg smiled benevolently, but Chris felt ready to fall into a trap. "I give you six months to find a wife, or I'll have to consider someone else for that promotion. Someone with a wife."

  Snap! The trap closed over him, taking out the light – and his breath. A life of sacrifice that would earn him nothing because he didn't have a wife. Where did he go wrong? How could he ignore the warning signs? What was he supposed to do now – start pretending for the rest of his life?

  Chris went back to his cubicle and took off his jacket, slumping in his chair as his legs refused to take him further. He loosened his tie, taking a deep breath and frowning, torn between anger and disappointment. So far the company had been the only one not trying to see him in a relationship. Now even his "family" wanted him married. Was the whole world against him because he was single and happy to be a loner?

  "What's up?" Mike saw him from the open door and came in, worried by his distressed look.

  Chris told him about Mr. Goldberg's ultimatum.

  "Man, that's a tough one, especially for you!" Mike commented as Chris hid his face in his hands in despair.

  "You're telling me!" he snapped, leaning back and slamming one hand on his desk. "How am I supposed to find a wife in such a short time anyway?"

  "You could ask one of your fuck buddies to marry you," Mike suggested.

  "Mike, I screw them, I don't want to live with them."

  "Stay within the family, pick a colleague."

  "The family just stabbed me. Hurts like hell."

  "But you want that promotion, right? You worked real hard for years without a private life..."

  "Thanks, you make me feel like a loser," Chris grumbled, glaring at his friend. He knew Mike was only trying to help – and failing at it.

  "You lost enough already," Mike said soothingly, trying to calm him. "Make one last effort. Look at it as another part of the job."

  "You don't get it, do you?" Chris was sarcastic now. "Mr. Goldberg married late, and for love. Looks like he changed his vision in the past fifteen years or so, both for his life and his company. Family! Let's be a family! Let's have a family, all of us! Now he wants everybody to follow suit."

  "He didn't talk about falling in love," Mike objected.

  "Not openly, but knowing him, that's what he wants." He had spent half his life working for that man, after all. He had seen Mr. Goldberg going from cold businessman to father figure, building the family company into something else. At first Mr. Goldberg's brother had brought heart to the family. Now Mr. Goldberg did it all by himself – strong enough to be a good businessman, but kind enough to care about his employees, especially his execs, carefully groomed and chosen one by one. So it was Chris's turn to be gently reminded of the new company vision. Chris had forgotten the "family-oriented" thing, as it wasn't really part of his life choices.

  "Geez, the man is sick!" Mike had dealt only occasionally with Mr. Goldberg, as he was still only an employee and Big Boss dealt only with execs. "You should have chosen another father figure!"

  "Mike, I don't need a father anymore!" Chris snorted, frustrated. Sometimes his friend was really dense. Full of good intentions, but unable to grasp the situation.

  "Then why do you consider the company your family?" Mike inquired defiantly. "You could use mine as surrogate, or start your own..."

  "Shut up, Mike," Chris snapped.

  "Fine, whatever." Mike gave up. "I was only trying to help."

  "Are you planning to divorce Diane?"

  "No way, man, Diane is out of the question! Besides, you gave up on her a long time ago!"

  "How about your sisters?"

  "Chris, you don't even like them!"

  Chris stared in the distance, thoughtful. "Remember when we wanted to swap sisters?

  "Didn't work," Mike muttered. "And Kathy is married anyway."

  Chris glanced at him and shrugged. "I thought you wanted to help."

  "I do! We'll figure out something, don't worry," Mike promised.

  Chris nodded absentmindedly and shooed him off. They had grown up together. They had promised each other to be friends f
orever. They had shared girls in college, and Mike was present when Chris had got the phone call that his father was gone too – after losing his mother to cancer. He had quit college to allow his sister Sherry to finish her studies and had started working at the Goldberg Corporation's lower levels.

  Now, twenty years later, he had reached the top. Almost. The final step required a wife, something he had never considered in his life plans. Mike would help, of course. But would he be able to start a new life in his early forties? He wasn't in his twenties anymore, and he still remembered how hard it had been starting again after his father's death...

  ***

  Meetic New Episode – the meeting. I should have stuck to Mr. Writing. Or virtual lovers. Real men... meh. George is not good looking, but he was kinda nice. He has a son already, so he probably won't want more, which is good. Still, sometimes I wonder: why am I doing this to myself? Just because everybody else is in a relationship, does it mean I need one too? Maybe I don't need a man at all. Maybe I should just give up the whole "love" thing. The more people I meet, the more I want to run away and hide in my sanctuary. And why do I feel guilty about it? Maybe I'm meant to be on my own. Maybe I don't need a steady relationship with the real world. I wonder. Maybe I'm just tired. Maybe 2h ½ didn't add anything to my interest in George. I don't like his smell, just like with Stephen. I wonder if there's a man somewhere, anywhere, whose smell I'll like.

  Anyway, I'm not having fun anymore. At this very moment I just want to close the Meetic account and forget everything. I'm wondering why I did it in the first place. Okay, I was bored and I wanted to try something new. I didn't like it. It lasted 15 days. Didn't work. Let's forget about it. It was a stupid thing to do anyway – I wasn't that desperate for a mate. In fact, I wasn't desperate at all. Okay, maybe I'm telling lies to myself as usual. Who knows. I'm depressed. I'm tired. End of the Meetic Series. Account closed. Curling up with Mr. Writing to forget the whole silly thing.