Today People

by Barbara G. Tarn

  She didn't eat much and excused herself as soon as she could. There was no way she could go back to writing, though, so she went for a breath of fresh air in the garden – ending in the spot where she had first met Chris.

  She stopped on the terrace and stared at the landscape, thinking about that day and everything that had happened since. Did she care if Chris married Amanda? Why couldn't she answer that question?

  She sighed and turned back towards the house, thinking about the meal – and Chris and Amanda's obvious happiness. Maybe Aunt Danielle was right, she had let go the only man who could make her happy. Damn.

  She saw him sauntering towards her, and again her heart missed a beat. He definitely had a strange effect on her. And she had nowhere to run, so she put on a fierce look and sat on the stone balcony, waiting for him to reach her.

  "I told you I'd see you today," he greeted her with a smile.

  "What are you doing here?" she growled.

  "I'm trying to talk some sense into you."

  "Into me? You're engaged to Amanda, who could be your daughter!" she protested. Why did he always turn things upside down?

  "I met her at the park one Sunday morning, I was still upset about you, but she was very sympathetic," he explained, amused.

  "So you're going to marry her and live happily ever after," she retorted. "Congratulations!"

  "You don't get it, do you?" His patience was unsettling. "I want you. Amanda just helped me to meet you again."

  Startled, she stiffened. "What are you talking about?" she asked, wary.

  "You didn't tell her much about us, so she figured you were too proud to admit you liked me," he said.

  "She figured!" Helen scoffed. "She's a lovely girl, Chris, but she knows nothing about me!"

  "Maybe she knows more than what you think." He smiled. "Anyway, she suggested to pretend we were engaged to see your reaction."

  "She... what? You're pretending?" She couldn't believe her ears. Amanda and Chris had tricked her?

  "We're not engaged, not in love, just friends," he answered patiently "She has a boyfriend, by the way, if only you listened to her. He's about her age. You might meet him soon."

  "So you did all this to... what exactly?" She glared at him.

  "Allow me to talk to you like we're doing now, without you slamming doors on my face or hanging up the phone."

  "You hung up on me, yesterday!"

  "I couldn't resist, I had to call you," he apologized with an irresistible smile. "Besides, I didn't expect you to pick up."

  "You're a real bastard, Christopher Coleman," she declared fiercely. She hated him. She so hated him. Why was he so damn gorgeous in jeans and a T-shirt? She really hated him!

  "Thank you." He nodded. "Are we done with the insults?" he asked, unimpressed.

  Her hostility didn't seem to register with him. Sarcasm didn't seem to be the best thing to keep him away.

  Her anger exploded as she jumped up to confront him.

  "No!" she screamed, furious. "You're a liar, a deceiver, a..."

  He took her in his arms. "You're not perfect either," he said tenderly. "But I love you."

  And then he kissed her before she objected again.

  She stiffened, her heart beating faster. As expected, not different from the previous ones. She couldn't bring herself to respond to his kiss.

  He let her go, a little puzzled, and she lowered her eyes. Her anger was gone, and she was depressed now.

  "I'm sorry, I don't like kisses," she whispered, disappointed. A part of her had really hoped it would be different with him. Maybe it was truly her fault she couldn't enjoy kisses.

  "Fine," he said. "Do you like cuddles?" He held her tight, caressing her head, playing with her hair.

  That felt good. That felt really good, damn him! She closed her eyes and sighed, taking in his scent. It felt good having her face against his neck too.

  "I love it when someone touches my hair," she admitted.

  Her eyes snapped open and she straightened herself, pulling away from his embrace. "But you deserve better, Chris," she told him, serious.

  "I can't think of anyone better than you," he replied.

  "I'm asexual. I don't want kids. You need a woman willing to give you a family."

  "We can work that out. We can adopt, if you don't feel like giving birth."

  She smiled, thoughtful. "When I was a teen, I dreamed of a family with five kids, one mine, the other four adopted from four different races. One white, one black, one red, one yellow. One world with no borders. Gee, I was naive back then!"

  "We could do that," Chris said.

  "Angelina Jolie has already done it," she shrugged. "It was my idea, but she actually did it. And I don't want to give birth anymore."

  "We can still adopt," Chris insisted.

  "And would you really marry a woman who doesn't have sex?" she asked defiantly. "That's what 'asexual' means. Check the AVEN web-page for more."

  He was too stunned to comment, thus she stepped back so he wouldn't touch her again.

  "I'll understand if you're not up to it," she said, staring at his face. Then she walked away, hoping, praying he'd be as stubborn as he had been so far – and that he'd call her again.

  14.

  Chris typed "AVEN" and checked the first Google result. David Jay's site was interesting. Chris even found a closed discussion on Wikipedia about asexuality. The topic was sort of more controversial than the other sexualities, as there wasn't enough research.

  Apparently one or two percent of the population doesn't refuse sex, but is incapable of finding it interesting. In David Jay's words, "An asexual is someone who does not experience sexual attraction. Unlike celibacy, which people choose, asexuality is an intrinsic part of who we are. Asexuality does not make our lives any worse or any better, we just face a different set of challenges than most sexual people. There is considerable diversity among the asexual community; each asexual person experiences things like relationships, attraction, and arousal somewhat differently."

  That was interesting. He had never met anyone who wasn't into sex, or couldn't find it attractive. Which made him think. What had ruined his relationship with Heartbreaker was the way too passionate sex that had burned out both of them. What if true love didn't need sex to express itself? Ever since Heartbreaker, he had definitely split the two things. He still had sex, but didn't fall in love. Now he had fallen in love. And he didn't really miss the sex. Yes, he wanted to get more intimate with Helen, but that didn't mean he only wanted to fuck her and get over it. Quite the contrary.

  Which made him temporaryly lose interest in sex – as Carrie discovered during her next visit. He kept musing about the topic and Helen and his own needs, and couldn't satisfy her.

  "What's wrong, Chris?" she asked, frustrated, pulling away from his unresponsive body.

  He realized he was bored and not really with her. "Dunno." He shrugged. "Sorry. I guess I'm not in the mood."

  Now he sounded like a woman! Helen had really fucked up his life!

  "Tell me again you're not in love," Carrie said, a little sarcastic.

  "Actually, I am," he replied.

  She raised her eyebrows, skeptical. "So? What is she like?" she inquired.

  "She doesn't have sex."

  "What? Is she sick?"

  "No, asexual."

  "There's no such word!"

  "There is. Google it."

  She snorted and gathered her clothes, giving up. "Whatever," she grumbled. "Guess you're fucked up anyway..."

  ***

  "You couldn't do it?" Mike stared at Chris in disbelief. As usual they sat in Mike's backyard and Chris had told his friend about his failure with Carrie.

  "No." Chris stared in the distance.

  "Damn, Carrie's hot!" Mike said. "How..."

  "Kept thinking about that asexual thing."

  "What the hell does that mean anyway?" Mike demanded, exasperated.

  "A person who does not experience sexual a
ttraction," Chris explained patiently.

  "Man! That's not natural!" Mike commented, upset.

  "Unlike celibacy, which is a choice, asexuality is a sexual orientation. They feel the attraction, but no need to act out sexually."

  "O-okay." Mike took a deep breath to calm down. "So Helen likes you, doesn't she? A no-sex marriage sounds a little weird, but... why not, I mean..." Mike shook his head, unconvinced by his own words.

  "I don't know," Chris admitted. "Maybe eventually we'll have sex. It's just not going to happen at the beginning. And she doesn't want to get pregnant."

  "So what are you supposed to do?" Mike retorted. "Wait until her menopause to fuck her?"

  "Mike! That's not the point!" Chris snapped. He was trying to make up his mind, for Christ's sake! No need to add snarky comments to an already convoluted situation!

  "What is the point of marrying her, then?" Mike asked frowning.

  "I love her," Chris answered. "Is that a good reason?"

  Mike sighed. "Guess it is," he said. "And you'll have your promotion."

  Chris scoffed. "What if I don't? The six months expire and I'm still single."

  "What then?" Mike asked, alarmed. "You look for a new job?"

  Chris smiled and finally stared at his friend. "I think I need to shake my life," he said. "If it's not marriage, a new job might do. What would you prefer?"

  "I don't know, man, marriage with Helen sounds so weird..."

  Chris pondered. "Guess I'll have to ask her what she thinks."

  ***

  Helen stared at Chris while pondering the question. They had met at their usual restaurant in plain daylight and he had related his discussion with Mike. Now he waited for her answer, both hopeful and depressed.

  "What would you prefer?" she said at last, looking him in the eyes.

  "You're not answering my question," he replied. "It takes two to decide a wedding."

  "I know, but I want to understand how you feel." She crossed her arms on the table and leaned forward. "Would you marry me to please Mr. Goldberg or because you feel like doing it?"

  "I think I'll enjoy talking with you for the rest of my life," he answered. "The new job is just an alternative to get over you, in case you refuse."

  She smiled sheepishly. "And the sex part doesn't bother you?"

  "Not really," he said. And it was so true. He'd had enough sex for now. He looked forward to spending his life with her – with or without sex, it didn't really matter. That wasn't what their relationship would be about.

  "You can keep your fuck buddies, if you like, I'm not jealous of them," she suggested.

  "Thank you." He leaned forward too and took her hand across the table. "Maybe I'll have more fun trying to seduce my wife." He grinned.

  She giggled nervously. "Good luck. You have no idea how stubborn I can be."

  "I have a pretty good idea, thank you," he assured. "So, will you marry me?"

  She looked at their entwined fingers, then at his face. "Yes," she whispered, blushing.

  He thanked the table between them that didn't allow him to kiss her. He squeezed her fingers instead.

  "Thank you," he whispered back, elated.

  ***

  "Well, this is much better, isn't it, Mr. Coleman?" Mr. Goldberg said. Amanda had introduced her real boyfriend and Helen had announced her own engagement, so the patriarch was beaming.

  Chris had entered the Goldberg Mansion for the third time as Helen's boyfriend and he smiled back at his boss who was again a wise old man and not a cruel dictator who wanted him married against his will.

  "Definitely, sir," he answered. "I'm sorry about the trick with Amanda."

  Amanda giggled and winked at him.

  "You mean you and Helen had met before?" Mr. Goldberg asked, puzzled.

  "The first time you invited me here, sir," Chris nodded.

  Mr. Goldberg glanced at both him and Helen. "This is what I was aiming for!" he exclaimed. "Why didn't any of you tell me?"

  "We like to think we worked this out on our own," Helen replied.

  "You couldn't trust this old fool, huh?"

  "I didn't know what you had in mind, sir," Chris admitted.

  "You would have rushed me into it," Helen added. "Hence I denied meeting him when you asked."

  Mr. Goldberg rolled his eyes in exasperation. "I knew you were meant for each other. Now, I don't want to rush you into a ceremony, so I give you another six months."

  "I don't think we need them," Chris assured.

  "Yes, we do, if you get the promotion I won't see you anymore!" Helen protested.

  "I think I'll be able to delegate a lot more in my new position," he replied. Mr. Goldberg nodded his approval, so he turned to her. "How about you, my workaholic writer?"

  "Uh-oh." Helen grinned. "Okay, I'll write a little less."

  "And leave your readers waiting?" he chided. "Naughty writer!"

  "What do you want me to do then?" she complained.

  "Don't change a thing," he replied holding her tight.

  Amanda and her boyfriend cheered and Mr. Goldberg ordered a toast. "To love! And its many forms!"

  ***

  Helen entered the Goldberg Corporation for the first time a couple of days later. She stopped a woman – Linda was the name on her badge.

  "Excuse me, Christopher Coleman's office?"

  "Down the corridor, third on the left."

  "Thanks." Helen walked on, aware of the woman's stare on her back. Actually, everybody looked up as she passed. Except Chris, who was so engrossed in his work that he didn't hear her.

  She covered his eyes with her hands, smiling as she startled him. He explored her fingers – she wore rings – and grinned.

  "Helen, what are you doing here?"

  She freed his face and turned his chair so she could look him in the eyes. "You saw my office, I wanted to see yours."

  "You work from home!"

  "One more reason to go out..."

  She brushed his lips with hers – not a real kiss, but that was the best she could do. He chuckled, obviously appreciating the attempt, then his attention went to the door.

  Helen noticed a glamorous redhead who stared at them with a frown.

  "That's his secretary," Chris told her. "Yes, Sarah?"

  "Mr. Goldberg wants to see you," the redhead said. She sounded very formal.

  Chris stood and took Helen's hand. "Sure, let's go."

  "I believe he wants to see you alone," Sarah insisted coldly.

  "I'm sure he'll appreciate the visit," he replied. "Meet my fiancée, Helen Turner, Mr. Goldberg's niece."

  Helen smiled, but Sarah's handshake was stiff. The redhead seemed to hate her on sight. Then Chris told her about what had happened between them, which explained a lot.

  After seeing Mr. Goldberg's office ("I can't believe it took Chris to see you here!"), Chris took her around the offices, introducing her to Linda, Mike and most of the colorful family of Goldberg Corporation. Mike and Linda were the most welcoming – they were obviously friends more than colleagues – and Helen was happy to have met them. It had showed her another side of Chris, which had only increased her love.

  Chris respected her. Chris accepted her. Chris didn't want her to change. She knew she'd change, just because she'd have him by her side. They could build their life together, brick by brick. Their love wasn't about possession, it was different. Because they were different – independent from each other but still willing to share their lives.

  Helen had almost lost hope to find someone like Chris. She decided not to mention her virginity. They weren't going to have sex anytime soon anyway, and hopefully he'd take down her barriers with his love. Although he already made her "feel like a woman", whatever that meant. His cuddles and his smile melted her heart and she knew even her body eventually would surrender to his tenderness. Because she trusted him and she loved him and she looked forward to spending her life with him.

  ***

  Today we went to Mike
's – I met his wife Diane, who is my age and quite nice. She told me she's very happy for Chris. The only "discussion" was with Mike, who is over-protective of his best friend. He thinks it's not possible for a human with validly functioning sex organs to be asexual. Now, I might have thought I missed a piece down there when I touched myself, trying vainly to find the pleasure everybody finds masturbating (so I'm told), but the gynecologist says I'm perfectly normal, so I DO have validly functioning sex organs. But I'm still asexual. I have no interest in sex of any kind, I have no libido, I never masturbated and never will because I find no interest whatsoever in any of that stuff. Mike thought that meant I didn't love Chris, just because I don't want to have sex with him (yet?). Explaining to a "normal" person what I want or feel is not easy. And if Chris understood when I told him about the Alchemic Wedding – the perfect blending of man and woman, not necessarily through their genitals – Mike was not so open. He wasn't convinced the most sacred of loves is what Chris and I have – or we're building day after day. I'm glad Chris didn't listen to his friend, or he would have never called me again, and we wouldn't be living this wonderful adventure together. Soul mates, same but different, close but independent. It feels so good to nestle against him, I'd listen to his heart beat forever. He's just too good to be true. No, he's not perfect, but neither am I, so we're even. Our love can only be immortal.

  Choices

  1.

  "The journalist is here," Paul announced.

  Carl closed his laptop. "Let him in."

  He relaxed in his leather chair, quickly glancing around his office. Everything looked perfect, his mahogany desk so shiny it almost reflected the few clouds in the sky. The window behind him gave him that aura only rich people had.

  Some people are born rich, he thought. Some dream to be rich. And some see their dreams come true. He smiled. Yes, I'm wealthy now, but wasn't born that way.

  Paul let in the journalist, a man in his early fifties, and the photographer – a glamorous platinum blonde who swung in on her high heels.

  Carl's heart missed a beat at the sight of her – not because of her looks, but because he recognized the face behind the make-up. A ghost from his past.