Today People

by Barbara G. Tarn

  Nancy unbuckled her seat belt, opened the car door and jumped out of her seat to hug her uncle who chuckled.

  "Hey, Nancy, you grew up some more this year! How old are you now?"

  Nancy rolled her eyes. Uncle Bill was nice, but his memory was really bad, obviously, since he asked the same question every Christmas.

  "I'm twelve, now, Uncle Bill," she answered.

  "And you still drag poor Polly around?" he chided.

  Nancy shrugged. She had put the doll away, but when her father had flown to the angels, she had taken her out again. Sleeping with Polly comforted her now that Mom looked so lost in her big empty bed. Nancy was too old to snuggle against her, so she had resorted to Polly again.

  "Let's get inside, it's freezing out there," Mom said, briefly kissing Uncle Bill's cheek.

  Nancy could tell they were siblings. They had the same red curly hair, freckles and blue eyes, and almost the same smile. Uncle Bill was younger and still lived with his aging mother, and he was a doctor in the small town nearby. Grandma's house had been built at the edge of a forest during the previous century, but it still stood two-stories tall with its sloping roofs and two chimneys

  Grandma sat by the hearth in the living room. Her armchair was comfortable enough for her curved back, and Nancy rushed to kiss her wrinkled cheek. She thought Grandma had even more white hair than usual – she was gray last year, but now she was completely white.

  "How are you, Grandma?" Nancy asked, a little worried. Dad's parents had died young, so this was really her only grandparent still alive. She didn't want to lose her.

  "Old," Grandma answered with a sigh. "But it's always good to see you, Nancy."

  "Hey, Mom." Nancy's mother leaned to kiss Grandma's forehead. "Are we the first?"

  "Yes, dear, Bettie and Rob are stuck in Milwaukee with the blizzard. They will continue on tomorrow, they found a motel to spend the night in and wait for the worst to blow off."

  Mom's elder sister, Bettie, had moved to Chicago with her husband, Rob. They had two children, and Nancy looked forward to seeing them again, especially Jennifer, who was barely a year older than her. Then there was Mom's older brother, Brad, who lived in New York and would fly to Minneapolis soon with his wife and children and then rent a car and drive up to Grandma's.

  "It's fine, it's only December twenty-third, plenty of time to get here," Uncle Bill added with a smile. "Don't worry, Bonnie, we'll be all here for Christmas."

  "Except Dad," Nancy whispered, staring at the fire burning in Grandma's hearth. She sat next to it like she'd done every year with Dad. He was fascinated by the dance of flames, and so was she. He'd been an only child and they could spend hours together reading, watching clouds or flames, or daydreaming in their backyard, until Mom brought them back to reality.

  Mom quickly hugged her. "Help me take our bags upstairs," she said gruffly.

  Nancy sighed, set Polly down and followed her mother upstairs, carrying her own bag.

  Grandma's house was big, since the house had been built for an extended family by Nancy's great-grandfather. Up to Grandma's generation, families stuck together with in-laws. Mom's generation had been the first to move out to go to college, and hadn't returned home – except Uncle Bill – afterward.

  There were bunk beds in the children's rooms, divided into boys' room and girls' room, and then there were rooms for married couples. During the holidays, Uncle Bill shared with Nancy's cousins, but during the year he slept in one of the couples' rooms.

  Nancy followed her mother to the room Mom had shared with Dad and helped unpack.

  "Would you like to sleep here with me this year?" Mom asked, pulling her into her arms.

  "I'm not sure." Nancy's voice shook. "If you're scared to sleep alone, I'll sleep with you."

  "Then we sleep together tonight, and tomorrow, when your cousins arrive, you decide what you want to do, okay?" Mom said gravely.

  Nancy nodded with a lump in her throat. "I miss Dad..." she whispered.

  Mom hugged her. "So do I, baby, so do I," she whispered back, squeezing her. "But we'll be all right, I promise."

  Uncle Bill knocked on the bedroom door. "Are you both in there?" he asked from outside.

  Nancy freed herself from Mom's embrace. "Yes, we'll both sleep here tonight," she said.

  "Good idea," Uncle Bill stuck in his head. "The other room is still quite cold, you'll be warmer here. Nancy, will you help me with gift-wrapping while your mom helps Grandma in the kitchen?"

  The excitement of Christmas was on Nancy again. She helped her uncle wrap the gifts for her cousins, and then it was dinner time. The table set up in the big kitchen felt empty with only four people around it. Nancy noticed Mom looked at Dad's empty chair often.

  She helped with the dishes and then went back to watch the fire, as Uncle Bill added wood over the embers, rekindling it. Her eyelids were heavy by now. The pixies and faeries danced with the flames, lolling her to sleep. She lay on the floor.

  "Nancy, honey, just go to bed," Mom said. "You're too big to carry now."

  Nancy sighed, but obeyed. She had barely snuggled under the covers when Mom joined her, yawning.

  "This drive is killing me," Mom said, sitting on the edge of the double bed to take off her clothes. "I think I'm going to sleep early too..."

  Soon they were huddled together in the dark. "Good night, Mom," Nancy said. She didn't hear the answer. She was asleep.

  ***

  When the snow covered everything, all sounds seemed muffled. Nancy awoke to the silence surrounding Grandma's house since the noisier guests hadn't arrived yet. Mom was already up, though, since her side of the bed was empty.

  Nancy threw back the blankets and shivered in the cold of the room. She grabbed her jumper and pulled it over her pj's, and rushed down the stairs and into the kitchen, that was much warmer than the rest of the house.

  Mom was there with Grandma, and she had red eyes. She must have been crying again, but she smiled at the sight of Nancy.

  "Good morning, sweetie, did you sleep well?" she asked, opening her arms in a welcome embrace.

  "Didn't she kick you too much during the night?" Grandma asked with a chuckle.

  "No, she slept like a log." Mom kissed Nancy's hair before letting her go. "Hungry yet? Take a seat, breakfast is ready..."

  Uncle Bill entered the kitchen as Nancy and her mother were leaving to get dressed.

  "How about we help Uncle Bill prepare the rooms before everybody gets here?" Mom suggested while they put on their warmest clothes.

  "Can I make a snowman first?" Nancy pleaded. "To welcome Jennifer and the others?"

  Mom sighed. "A small one," she said.

  Nancy kissed her in thanks and rushed back downstairs with her gloves ready. She put on her anorak and hat, and opened the front door. The car was covered in fresh snow. Uncle Bill would have to shovel from the front yard and up to the road, or the others wouldn't know where to park. His own car must be locked in the garage, where there was room for another car, usually Uncle Rob's.

  Nancy started cleaning the front yard to make her snowman. When Uncle Bill came out with the shovel, she was almost done with her creation. Uncle Bill offered a carrot, an old pipe and a couple of chestnuts to make the snowman's face, and then Nancy rushed back into the house, all wet and shivering from playing with snow.

  She sat in the living room with a book until lunch, when Aunt Bettie called to tell them they'd be there soon, but Grandma shouldn't wait for them, since they had eaten on the road. Nancy curled up by the fire again, since it calmed her. Jennifer would be here soon and they had so many months to catch up... They'd seen each other during the summer, but then things had changed for Nancy – the loss of Dad, Mom's new gloomy mood – and she looked forward to some normality.

  And then wheels crackled on the snow outside and she jumped to her feet to go to the window.

  "They're here!" she screamed, but Uncle Bill reached the main door first because he had longer legs. />
  Nancy waited on the porch until her cousins got out of the the car, Peter excitedly rushing inside to look at the tree and wrapped gifts underneath, with Jennifer gloomily following him. Nancy thought her cousin had grown up during the past months. She had boobs under her anorak, and wore pink lipstick. Her mother had obviously taken her to the hairdresser's for Christmas, since her red curls were neatly spread on her shoulders and she had highlights.

  And she was taller – but then Nancy realized she wore heels. Looking every bit the younger copy of her mother, Jennifer was suddenly a stranger who made Nancy feel shy. Jennifer didn't hug her like she normally did. She barely looked at her younger cousin, and kept a bored expression on her face until she was marched upstairs to unpack.

  "What happened to Jennifer?" Nancy whispered, worried, nestling against her mother.

  "I'm afraid she's a little woman now," her mother answered gravely. "Remember what I told you about growing up? I bet she had her periods and she thinks she's no longer a child..."

  Nancy sighed as her mother squeezed her. Another loss. Was that what it meant to grow up? Losing friends and loved ones to... life changes?

  "I don't want to grow up, Mom," she said, frowning.

  "You can't help it, baby." Her mother held her tighter. "You will change too. But it's fine, really. You'll be all right."

  "It seems to me grownups lives are very sad," Nancy said, looking at her mother's face.

  "Don't worry, Nancy, when you grow old enough, you return to that blissful childhood state." Grandma chuckled. "See how they treat me like a child? And I'm their mother!"

  Nancy smiled despite herself and went to hug Grandma. "Is it okay if I sleep with Mom for the whole stay?"

  "Of course. Your mom is scared to sleep alone. She needs you." Grandma patted her cheek. "Do you think I could join you both? Sometimes I get scared of sleeping alone too..."

  "Mom!" Bonnie rolled her eyes. "You're totally used to sleeping alone!"

  "Which doesn't mean that I don't miss your father from time to time." Grandma sighed. "I'm sorry you're cut out this year, Nancy. But you'll catch up to your cousins soon. Don't worry if Jen will talk to Debby and Lisa more than to you, next year they'll welcome you in their circle."

  "It's going to be a lonesome Christmas, I'm afraid," Mom said. "But then things will get better, I promise."

  Nancy was about to snap at her mother, but she refrained. She was sick of hearing that sentence. Things will get better, I promise. When? I bet not even Mom knows!

  Uncle Brad arrived while Aunt Bettie and her family were still settling in, so Nancy stood forgotten in a corner while Jennifer rushed excitedly to greet Debby and Lisa, fifteen and fourteen, with some unbelievably boring news only teenagers would enjoy. Cousin John, who was sixteen, had grown taller than his father, and little Paul, who was only ten, immediately bonded with Peter to make mischief again.

  "On Boxing Day we'll have to leave," Uncle Brad announced. "Ben and Rose are coming from Rome with the Ferris."

  "Why didn't they come for Christmas?" Grandma complained. "I was curious to meet the two little Indians!"

  "Mom, they're not even related to you!" Uncle Brad snorted.

  "But I like how Geena's sister has sort of adopted somebody else's children!"

  "Yes, well, it's their first Christmas together and Marco is Italian," Aunt Geena said. "His traditions expect them to spend Christmas with the family. Apparently his mother has forgiven him the Indian bride."

  "I so wanted to meet them." Grandma sighed. "It's such a touching story..."

  "By the way, Priya will carry their child," Aunt Geena continued. "That's another reason for them to come back."

  Nancy listened, thoughtful. She knew Aunt Geena's sister couldn't have children and that she'd stopped visiting years ago, with the excuse that she now lived in Italy with her husband.

  "They found a young couple with two kids," Mom explained. "Surya lost his father when he was three, then Marco came along..."

  "You think you'll find someone to take Dad's place?" Nancy asked.

  "I don't know, Nancy. Not now. Maybe not ever. I'm sure Uncle Bill is ready to spoil you like Dad, though."

  Nancy stared at her mother, skeptical. Uncle Bill was sweet, but he wasn't Dad.

  "You've grown up, Nancy," Aunt Geena said, caressing her curls. "Why don't you join Debby and Lisa and Jen?"

  Nancy averted her eyes and muttered an excuse. She felt grumpy and already tired of the crowd of guests that usually put smiles on her face. She'd been smiling at the thought until yesterday, but now it all felt useless and boring and...

  She went to sit on the porch, watching Peter and Paul play with a sleigh. A part of her wanted to join them, but another wanted to be with Jen and the girls instead. John came out to get the sleigh and a snowballs battle started between him and Peter and Paul.

  Nancy snorted. She felt a cramp in her stomach and her mood wasn't improving. It was Christmas Eve! Why was she so gloomy?

  Her cousins ran to the backyard with the sleigh, and she remained on the porch steps, staring at the empty road beyond Grandma's hedges. It had stopped snowing, but maybe it would snow again tonight. She wouldn't mind watch another snowflake dance before going to bed. Besides flames, snowflakes also mesmerized her.

  A snowplow roared slowly past the house and stopped at the end of the alleyway to drop someone off. Nancy craned her neck to see beyond the hedge without getting up, and soon enough a young man emerged, headed for the house.

  Puzzled, Nancy rose as he stopped in front of her.

  "Hi. Is this where William Palmer lives?" the young man asked with a smile.

  Nancy thought he was cute – clean-shaven and with dark hair and blue eyes, probably the kind of guy who would make Debbie and Lisa swoon – and she nodded.

  "Are you one of his patients?" she asked.

  "Uh, no, I'm a friend. And you are?"

  "I'm his niece, Nancy." She offered her hand.

  "Nice to meet you, Nancy, I'm Frank." He shook her hand with a bright smile. "Bill invited me over for Christmas, and I'm very happy to meet his family."

  Peter and Paul emerged from the back of the house, screaming, chased by John who roared like a snow monster, pretending to be a yeti. The children ran between Nancy and Frank to stumble inside the house, but John stopped outside, staring warily at Frank.

  "Who are you?" he asked bluntly.

  "He's Uncle Bill's friend Frank," Nancy said. "That's my cousin John," she told Frank who smiled.

  Uncle Bill emerged from the house. "John, get back inside! You too, Nancy, it's getting cold!" Then his eyes fell on Frank's dazzling smile. Nancy thought she saw him blush. "Oh, hey, Frank, you're here already?"

  Nancy chuckled and followed John inside the house. She glanced out the window and saw Uncle Bill hug Frank in the fading light. And then they kissed. She gasped and pulled away from the window. So that was Uncle Bill's secret!

  She went to sit by the fire and smiled. Frank looked a nice guy, if much younger than Uncle Bill.

  Her mother sat next to her and touched her forehead. "You didn't get a cold, did you? You're very pale."

  "I'm fine, Mom." She snorted. "How old is Uncle Bill?"

  "Let's see..." Her mother made some calculations. "He's thirty-five now, why?"

  Nancy couldn't tell how old Frank was, but he looked under thirty. She shrugged and hugged her knees.

  Uncle Bill came into the living room and introduced his "dear friend Frank" to the whole family. Frank said, "We've met," when Uncle Bill introduced her again, and she smiled back at him with a wink. She knew what was actually going on. She was young but not stupid.

  It was getting late, so they prepared the table for dinner. It felt weird to see Frank sitting in Dad's place, but Frank was really a funny and nice guy, so Nancy didn't mind. Her gloomy mood vanished at Frank's jokes, and she could tell her female cousins were equally impressed by the charming young man.

  Everybody retired early
, even though the grownups would probably spend some time putting more gifts under the Christmas tree. Nancy went to the bathroom and noticed her panties had a weird dark brown stain. Again.

  She called her mother and showed it to her.

  "Nancy, honey, you just got your first menstruation!"

  Nancy couldn't tell if her mom wanted to laugh or to cry.

  "Oh." She wasn't impressed. She wasn't expecting anything like that. It didn't even look like blood. And she felt fine. Like Mom, she wasn't sure if she should cry or laugh. She was a woman now. What a Christmas gift...

  Mom went out of the room and came back with a sanitary napkin.

  "I had to ask around, since I didn't have any," she apologized. "You're lucky with two girls Aunt Geena always carry some!"

  Nancy nodded and went to the bathroom. Soon she was in bed, pondering on the changes this strange Christmas was bringing to her and her family.

  ***

  Nancy awoke at the hushed but excited voices of Peter and Paul. She heard a giggle – either Jennifer or Lisa – as well, but didn't feel like getting out of bed. The sky was grey and it felt cold without the protection of the cozy blankets.

  Mom was still beside her and Nancy nestled closer to her, noticing her eyes were open.

  "Merry Christmas, Mom," she whispered. "Do you think the others are going to wake up Frank?"

  Uncle Bill's "friend" was sleeping on the couch in the living room.

  "Why don't you go with them and check?" her mother answered, squeezing her. "Wait, let's see if you need another napkin first."

  They lazily got out of bed and rushed to the bathroom before throwing something over their pj's – Mom a warm but much used dressing gown and Nancy a jumper – and heading downstairs. Frank was up, of course, and already had a cup of coffee in his hand. Uncle Bill was also up and sat next to him with an amused look on his face.

  Nancy noticed how her mother looked surprised at the sight of them and smiled. She wondered if Uncle Bill was going to tell the truth at lunchtime. Instead of going to the tree with her chattering cousins who were already checking labels while they waited for their parents to show up, she went to sit near Frank, who put one arm around her shoulder.