Pink Fucking Moscato

by Anna Rezes

  August 9th: The smell of her hair.

  August 8th: Ice cream smudges across her face.

  August 7th: Her blissful smile after she’s had a bite of chocolate ice cream.

  August 6th: Her Spice Girls’ dance routine.

  August 5th: Her ability to get completely submerged in a book.

  August 4th: Her strength.

  August 3rd: The flush in her cheeks when she finally gives in to her desires.

  August 2nd: Wanting the truth even when it’s ugly.

  August 1st: Her ability to laugh at herself.

  July 31st: The way her hair flows out behind her when she runs.

  July 29th: The way she feels tucked into my side sleeping.

  July 28th: Naming her dog Birdie.

  July 27th: When she dared me to do the Macarena, but then joined me so I wouldn’t have to do it alone.

  July 26th: Her ability to come up with a reason for a children’s spelunking foundation.

  July 25th: Her complete lack of knowledge of wine.

  July 24th: The way she pushes her hair back before she takes a drink.

  July 23rd: Her dresses.

  July 22nd: Her smile when she didn’t realize I was watching.

  July 21st: Her ability to lose herself in a thought.

  July 20th: Her fearlessness.

  July 19th: The way her mind works.

  July 18th: Her ability to laugh in the midst of pain.

  I scrolled down.

  June 27th: I love the way she folds hamburger wrappers.

  June 26th: I love that she thinks ice cream can be a meal if she wants it to be.

  June 25th: I love that she calls me Oliver when I told her everyone calls me Oli.

  June 24th: I love those jean shorts.

  June 23rd: I love that she opened up to me.

  June 22nd: I loved that she offered me a corkscrew even when she wasn’t sure about me.

  June 21st: I love her expressive dark eyes.

  June 20th: I love her beautiful skin that gives her an air of mystery.

  When I looked up, Jodi was standing rocking from side to side, her baby half-asleep in her arms. I was trying desperately not to cry.

  Jodi whispered, “He said Addison knows he’s in love with you.”

  “He lives in New York, Jodi. Even if we tried, it wouldn’t work. I’m not moving there, and he can’t come here. Not with a child in the picture.”

  Jodi said, “But will you regret it if you don’t try?”

  I couldn’t answer her. I didn’t know which was worse, risking it, or wondering what could have been.

  She continued, “He’s staying at the Edgemont Hotel, room 216.”

  Willa

  I held my breath as I knocked at the door. It was early. Too early to be knocking at someone’s door. I hadn’t gone to the hotel the night before because I kept finding reasons not to, but I didn’t sleep. Not a wink. I came early because I was afraid I’d miss him.

  I waited with bated breath, impatient for the door to open, but terrified of the man behind the door.

  Then it was opening, and I was gathering the words I had prepared. My mouth was open, ready to speak when I saw her blonde hair and blue eyes. Addison was answering Oliver’s hotel room door, and I had never wanted super-speed as much as I did at that moment. I let out a breath, and with no idea what to say to her, I began walking away.

  “Willa?” she called, stepping out into the hall.

  I turned to her. She was fully dressed and looked beautiful, like a fucking rose. Oliver got that part right. She was pristine, a mascot for femininity. But something I hadn’t been able to tell from photos was how intimidating she was, not only for her beauty but for the sharp intelligence behind those baby blue eyes.

  I would never measure up to her, and I think she knew it. She didn’t know what Oliver saw in me and staring at Miss Perfection, I didn’t know what he saw in me either.

  She said, “He told me you turned him down.”

  I nodded. “I did.”

  “But you’re having second thoughts?” she questioned.

  “Not anymore,” I said, and before I could leave, she closed the hotel door and stepped toward me.

  “Let’s get a drink in the lobby,” she said in a tone that made it difficult to decline.

  “Okay.” We walked to the elevator in silence.

  As we rode down to the lobby, she said, “Oliver went for a run this morning. He runs more when he’s upset. You’ve turned him into a pretzel. He’s all twisted up and doesn’t know what to do with himself.”

  This was by far the strangest conversation I had ever been a part of, and I wasn’t even an active member.

  The doors opened, and we walked out into the lobby, making a left into the lounge. I got a coffee while Addison fixed a green tea for herself, and we sat at a table by the windows overlooking the front of the hotel.

  “I know this is probably strange for you,” she said with a laugh, “It’s strange for me too, but I’d like us to be friends because the truth is, I’m not going anywhere, Willa. I will always be a part of Oli’s life. I’m having his child.” She placed a hand on her belly that was just beginning to show a slight bump.

  She continued, “He has sacrificed so much for me. He’s followed along with my life plan and made every transition so much easier for me. He took care of me in med school. When I was gone for long hours, he’d pack me a lunch, or fill my car with gas, or bring me meals. He would do all the random things I was too exhausted to do and never complained. That’s who he is. That’s what he’s always done for me. If he loved me enough to do those things for me, I can only imagine what he will do for our daughter.”

  “It’s a girl?” I asked.

  “Yeah, we found out the other day,” she said with a sweet smile, obviously adoring the bump growing in her belly. Then with a serious look, she said, “Oliver came here to see you. I came here to interview for jobs. Cincinnati is just over the river, and there are a lot of options for me.”

  I was afraid to get my hopes up, but it sounded like she was saying—

  “Oliver has made every move for me,” she said. “It’s time I made one for him. He wants to be close to you. He’s been scoping real estate while I’ve been interviewing.”

  I shook my head. “I don’t understand.”

  She leaned forward on the table. “I knew he was in love with you before we said our vows. He went through with the wedding because he didn’t want to hurt me. I love Oliver, but in all honesty, after we got engaged, things were never the same. Travis moved away, and I began to wonder how much of my staying with Oliver was because I felt guilty and trapped. It’s like one morning I woke up and realized I was the villain of my own story, but by then I had a little life growing inside of me. Maybe that’s where my sudden conscious came from because that little voice is the reason I told Oliver about Travis and me. It’s the reason he left and found you.

  “You opened his eyes to all the twisted things I’d put him through, and in the meantime, all I could think about was how I didn’t know how to do life without him. He was the one holding me together. Travis was there for me, but he doesn’t treat me the way Oliver does, or at least the way Oliver used to treat me.

  “I was unfair to him in so many ways, but when I saw how much it hurt him to leave you, I knew his love for me had changed.”

  I boldly asked. “Are you still in love with him?”

  “I was only in love with how much he loved me. I know how bad that makes me sound, but that’s my honest truth. I didn’t realize what I was doing to him until I saw the tears he cried for you during our wedding. That’s when I knew I had to let him go.”

  “And what happens when you change your mind and realize you want him back? You have a child together. You have a history. I can’t compete with those things.”

  “There is no competition. He wants you, and I won’t change my mind. Oli and I have run our course.”

  I swallowed, fingering
the cooling cup of coffee. “He’s going to be an amazing father,” I said, and she nodded.

  “Why were you in his room this morning?” I had to ask.

  “I had a feeling you would come, and I wanted to meet you. I’m glad you came when you did.”

  “You really think we can be friends?” I asked.

  “I don’t know, but I’d like to be.”

  I nodded. “Do you know when he’ll be back?”

  “It might be awhile. He left just before you came.”

  “Will you tell him to call me?” I asked, pulling out my phone to unblock his number.

  “Of course,” she said with a smile.

  Oliver

  I peeked in the window of the front door like a peeping tom. Willa was asleep on the couch with her dog lying between her legs. The dog perked up, looking at me with her head twisting to the side. I didn’t want to wake her, so I moved back and sat on the stoop outside. It was a quaint neighborhood with mature trees lining the sidewalks. Each house differed from the next, but all appeared equally loved. I felt like this was a neighborhood where everyone waved to one another. It wasn’t exactly a small town, but it had a small-town feel.

  As I waited, a few people walked by, and I was right, everyone waved to one another.

  “What are you doing over here?” I heard and looked up to see Jodi walking toward me with a double stroller and a five-year-old boy dragging along behind.

  I said, “Willa came by the hotel this morning. I wasn’t there, but I guess she and Addison talked. Addie said she wanted me to call her.”

  Jodi laughed, “So obviously you come over with a bottle of Pink Moscato and a bouquet of . . . weeds?”

  “They’re wildflowers,” I corrected.

  “They’re ugly,” she said.

  “It’s supposed to be a gesture.”

  “Of what?”

  “It’s . . . ” I paused, looking at the bouquet of half-dead weeds. “Okay, I’ll do it without them,” I said, putting them down.

  “Come here,” she said, turning the stroller around and calling out to the little boy who was wandering around Willa’s yard. He turned and ran back toward his mom.

  She walked me two houses down and pointed at the flowerbed. “Pick some of those and take them to her. It’s a prettier gesture.”

  “I’m not going to pick flowers out of someone’s yard.”

  “Sure you are. This is my house, and there are roses over there,” she said, pointing.

  “Roses are overrated. Is there anything else?”

  We took a stone path along the side of the house into Jodi’s backyard. There were a variety of flowers, but none were quite right. Then I noticed the empty lot behind her house. “Who owns that lot?”

  “I don’t know. The city is the one who comes out to mow it. Why?”

  Without answering, I walked back and crossed the little alley into the open lot. Along the edges were knee-high weeds, and among them, I found Queen Anne’s lace. After Willa had mentioned them, I looked it up, and though its beauty didn’t compare to her, I thought it’d make a strong point. I picked a bushel and carried them back into Jodi’s yard.

  When I reached her, I said, “Did you know Queen Anne’s lace is actually wild carrot?”

  She was giving me a strange look, and eyed the wildflowers in my hand, saying, “So what you’re saying is you’re going to give her a bouquet of carrot stems instead of roses?”

  I nodded with a smile, “Yeah, and I think she’ll love it.” I looked at them. The cluster of soft white flowers looked delicate, but they were hardy and a pain in the ass to pick.

  Jodi offered, “Let me grab some scissors so you can at least cut the ends to make it look less . . . umm, less like you picked them out of a field.”

  It was obvious she doubted me, and I knew how well she knew Willa, so it had me second-guessing myself.

  Willa

  I was pouring myself a cup of coffee and fretting over why Oliver hadn’t called when there was a knock at the front door. Bella barked, and then stood at the door wagging her tail, excited for company.

  I saw a shadow through the window but whoever knocked must be standing off to the side. Jodi and my parents were the only ones who visited, but they all had keys and rarely knocked.

  I opened the door, and the first thing I noticed was Trey, Jodi’s five-year-old son driving his trucks along the cement path up to my front porch. Then I saw Jodi casually standing on the sidewalk with her double stroller. She was watching with a grin, and I gave her a questioning look as Bella went out to greet Trey.

  Jodi pointed next to me, and that’s when I noticed the man who had knocked. Oliver wore regular clothes this time, and he had a bottle of Pink Moscato in one hand and a bouquet of Queen Anne’s lace in the other. I covered my mouth as I stepped toward him. The tears came before I had a chance to hold them back. I took the flowers that he held out and crushed him in a hug.

  When we pulled apart, his thumb wiped my tears, and he leaned in to kiss me, but Bella interrupted us by nudging between us. She didn’t like it when I shared my affection with other people. She jumped up on me, further separating me from Oliver.

  “Bella,” I laughed.

  When I was a suitable distance away, she turned to say hello to Oliver.

  I looked out to Jodi. “Did you do this?” I asked, pointing to Oliver.

  She shook her head. “Nope. I just came across him and had to see how this would go down.”

  I laughed, saying, “We’ll talk later.” I turned back to Oliver and Bella. He was kneeling and petting her as her body danced, shaken by her wagging tail. I called, “Bella, inside.”

  Then I grabbed Oliver’s free hand and pulled him inside, closing the door between us and our audience. I set my flowers down on the entry table and took his face between my hands and kissed him.

  His arms wrapped around me and Bella whined. We ignored her and kept kissing. She let out a long sigh and flopped on the floor.

  I pulled back, saying, “Bella has never really had to share my affection before. This will be a transition for her.”

  “We can take it slow,” he said with a smirk. “Because we’re good at that.”

  “You brought me some wine?”

  “Your favorite,” he said, holding out the bottle of pink Moscato.

  “You know Pink Moscato is not actually my favorite drink, right?” before he could answer, I continued, “but seeing as it’s the reason we met, it will always have a special place in my heart.”

  “Willa, look at it,” he said, pointing at the bottle.

  I inspected the label which read Pink f*cking Moscato. I burst into laughter. “How did you do that?”

  “I found a place that does custom labels, but apparently, they don’t believe in cursing.”

  “I lied. This is my favorite drink.”

  Oliver smiled, “Mine too. Screw bourbon. I love Pink fucking Moscato.”

  Willa

  We lived gratefully ever after. We weren’t always happy, but that’s the way life is, and I preferred the ugly truth opposed to the lie of a happily ever after. Oliver and I loved each other, and we worked through the hard days together. Our life together was complicated and imperfect, but Oliver brought me so much joy as did his sweet daughter.

  Life could be its own unique torture, and sometimes sadness came in unpredictable waves, but sometimes beauty grew out of ugly circumstances. Heartbreak made us more aware of everything we had to cherish, and I treasured the life we built together.

  I held my soon-to-be stepdaughter in my arms and knew that I would love her forever. She just turned a year old, and we were celebrating her birthday. Judging by the number of people who showed up, she might be the most spoiled girl ever born.

  Addison came in the back door, balancing a cake in her hands with Bella at her heels. She entered the kitchen bending to kiss baby Emerson on the cheek, saying, “How’s my baby?”

  “Ma-ma!” Emerson threw her arms up, and Addis
on set down the cake before taking her daughter in her arms. Addison’s job demanded a lot of her time, but she loved what she did. She had a house two streets over, but also had an apartment in the city, so she didn’t have to make the drive every day. I took the year off teaching to stay home with Emerson, and I loved that I could be such a huge part of her life.

  Oliver came up from behind me, wrapping his arms around me. He kissed my shoulder, and I placed my hand on his arm before spinning to kiss him. We had talked about trying to have a baby, but it terrified me to go through everything again. I knew this time things would be different, but we decided to wait to meet with a fertility specialist until after we got married. It was hard to believe it was only a few weeks away. We planned an intimate ceremony on the beach with only our closest friends and family. I couldn’t wait.

  Our cozy house was packed. Jodi and her family were there. Oliver’s parents, who had finally accepted our dynamic, sat with their spouses in the living room, looking uncomfortable as they listened to Jodi talk about breastfeeding. I stifled a laugh and watched Addison sit down next to her mother. Her father hadn’t come, and I knew his absence hurt her, but he was still not speaking to her after everything that had happened.

  Travis sat on the other side of Addison, playing with the baby in her arms. He was trying to teach Emerson to fist bump, but her chubby little hands just kept grabbing at his beard. Eventually, Emerson crawled into Travis’s lap while Addison talked to her mother. I wondered if Addison would end up with Travis, but so far, they seemed to remain only good friends, but he loved baby Emerson almost as much as Oliver loved her.