Sasha and Puck and the Cordial Cordial

by Daniel Nayeri

  They were back at the rosebush they had hidden behind that morning, but this time, they had a ring and a gang of fur and a broad-shouldered stabler.

  Sasha took a deep breath. Then she knelt down and looked at Puck. “Are you ready?”

  “Guh!” said Puck.

  “Good luck,” said Sasha. She whispered the plan into his ear, to make sure he remembered.

  Puck nodded. Then he put both hands to his mouth like a trumpet and made a birdcall. “Kulu koo koo!”

  Sasha watched as the gang of fur—Toothy, Twitchy, Mangy, and Gross—climbed over the stone wall like invading barbarians.

  Puck made a few hand signals, and the creatures disappeared into the bushes surrounding the garden party.

  As Puck ran around the bush to find the dog bear Abrus, Sasha thought she could hear him giggling.

  It took only a few seconds to find out why. Puck had made it as far as the first table of the outdoor banquet. Abrus, who was seated at the main table next to Sisal, spotted him immediately.

  The dog bear barked and sprang into action. Puck grabbed the tablecloth and bolted away, sending a dozen trays of tea cookies into the air.

  Sasha and Oxi stayed hidden behind the rosebush. Puck sprinted past them, dragging the cloth behind him. Abrus was not too far behind that.

  But as soon as Abrus crossed the hedge of roses, the trap was set. The gang of fur jumped out of the bushes and onto Abrus. They were measly things next to the great big dog, but they looked like the kind of creatures who had been in a few scrapes.

  Toothy the rat nipped at the dog’s ears, Mangy the squirrel covered his eyes, Gross the badger held his back leg, and Twitchy the chipmunk jumped on his snout, held fast, and head-butted Abrus over and over, in a wild puff of rage.

  It was all enough distraction for Puck to throw the tablecloth over Abrus. Together, the five smaller creatures managed to bundle the dog bear with enough cloth left over to wrap around his snout so he couldn’t make any noise. Then they dragged him into a shady corner of the garden wall.

  “Wow,” said Oxiana. “That was aggressive and adorable at the same time.”

  “Our turn,” said Sasha. She took Oxi by the hand and walked toward the party.

  It was the most lavish party that Sasha had ever seen. The green lawn was surrounded by black tulips in flower beds. Tables with white tablecloths held a feast of orange blossom honey cakes, sesame brittle, and candied rose petals. Three copper samovars stood on a bed of hot coals in the center of a stone firepit. Each was brewing a different kind of tea. The teacups were delicate porcelain, painted with lacy flower patterns. Guests wandered from table to table chatting. A troupe of bards from Rozny played a quartet of harps and sang the “Ballad of Knights and Days.”

  If Sasha wasn’t so busy, she would have been mesmerized by all the beautiful things. But her vision was quickly blocked by the figure of Butta the butler.

  Chapter 10

  “We’ve done this before,” said Butta with a sigh. “You must leave now.”

  Oxiana the stabler had dealt with much tougher customers in her work. She said, “I think you mean to say we must leave now, please. To be polite and all.”

  Butta rolled his eyes but did what she said. “Very well. You must leave now, please.”

  “No,” said Oxiana.

  “What?” said Butta.

  “I guess you’re right,” said Oxiana. “I should have said no, thank you.”

  Butta’s neck became red and his lips clenched.

  Before he could shout for more guards, Sasha stepped forward. “Hi, Mr. Butta. We’re sorry to bother, but we’re not here for the party. We’re here to speak with Basil.”

  “He’s not here.”

  “That’s okay. We’ll wait by the cake table.”

  “I’m sorry,” said Butta. But before he could finish, Sasha pulled Basil’s seal ring from her pocket.

  “Basil said to show you this,” said Sasha.

  Butta’s eyes became as wide as teacups. But there was nothing more to say. The Gentry seal was the final authority for the butler.

  He stepped aside.

  “Come on,” said Sasha. They had very little time. Sasha and Oxiana rushed into the crowded party. Vadim Gentry was surrounded by the mayor, the constable, and a few other bigwigs. They snuck past and found Sisal at her table. She was commanding a maid to braid her horse’s tail. The maid was trying to obey without getting kicked. To Sasha’s surprise, Princess Wisteria was a squat and dumpy horse with shaggy hair. Sasha would have expected Sisal to have a fancy show pony. But she supposed that Vadim Gentry knew his own daughter would only treat the creature like a dress-up doll. And even though Sisal was his favorite child, he wasn’t about to waste money on that. After all, money was Vadim Gentry’s favorite anything in the whole world.

  As soon as Sisal saw them, she put down her cake, stood up, and pounded on the table.

  “Who said you could be here?”

  “I just came to say happy birthday,” said Sasha.

  “It’s not my birthday, dum-dum. Why would I have all these adults at my birthday party?”

  “Sorry, I just figured the party was for you.”

  “Of course it’s for me—me and Princess Wisteria. And Abrus, but he ran off ’cause he’s trained to protect me. That braid looks super sloppy, Martha.”

  Oxiana leaned over to Sasha and said, “Is this little child for real?”

  Sasha whispered, “Stay classy, remember?” Then she raised her voice to say, “Well, Miss Salima, it was nice to meet you, but I guess I was wrong about the birthday. Silly me.”

  “Did you say Salima?” said Sisal.

  “Yeah, why?” said Sasha.

  Sisal ignored Sasha and spoke to Oxi. “Are you the headmistress of Sunderdown Academy?”

  “Uh,” said Oxi, looking to Sasha for help. “Who wants to know?”

  It wasn’t the classy kind of answer a headmistress would give, but Sisal went on.

  “I’m the reason my brother brought you here. So you could invite me to your little school. But you should know I don’t go anywhere without Princess Wisteria. And I get my own room. And, you know what, this is going to be a long list. I’ll have Butta send you some paperwork.”

  “I’ll give you paperwork,” grumbled Oxi under her breath.

  “You don’t look like a princess,” said Sisal.

  “What do I look like?” said Oxi.

  “I don’t know. What kind of people make bathtubs? You look like that.”

  Sasha stepped in front of Oxiana before she could flip Sisal’s entire table over. “All right,” said Sasha, “I’m sure Salima has things to discuss with your parents.”

  “You bet I do,” said Oxi.

  Sasha made a gesture, and Oxi stomped off. Oxiana had done her part of the plan perfectly, and now she could head back to her stable. She marched across the garden without even a nod to the other guests. Vadim stood unsmiling in the center, like a dark tower. He watched Oxiana leave, then traced her path back to Sasha. For a moment, he stared at Sasha, as if to ask, What are you doing here? Sasha turned away and hoped he would too.

  Sisal had already moved on to order Martha around, but Sasha had one last part to her plan. This was the big moment, and it had to go just right.

  “Hey, Sisal,” said Sasha, “I was just coming up the hill, and I think your brother was escorting a surprise guest.”

  “I know,” said Sisal with a sneer. “It was the headmistress who just left. But I don’t care about her school, so whatever.”

  “But it didn’t look like her,” said Sasha. “This guest was wearing a big red hat. Do you think she could be Edmi Straspluss?” Sasha said the name with a tone of wonder and amazement. She sounded out the name slowly—Ed-mee Strass-plus—as if it belonged to some legendary figure.

  “Who’s Edmi Straspluss?” said Sisal.

  “I heard she’s the greatest horse trainer in the whole world. She was born on horseback in the hill country and ca
n speak the whinnying language of the Cinderhooves and the Bloomhooves.”

  “No way,” said Sisal. “Really?”

  “That’s what I heard.”

  Sasha watched as Toothy the rat climbed up the tablecloth, near where Sisal was sitting. He was right on time. The rat looked like a pirate climbing a ship’s mast. But instead of a knife between his teeth, he had a little stone from one of the flower beds. Sasha tried to keep Sisal distracted. “Do you think Basil would invite a world-famous horse trainer?”

  “For sure,” said Sisal, popping a tea cookie into her mouth. “He totally loves me the most.”

  Toothy had boarded the table and was crouched right under Sisal’s elbow. Only Princess Wisteria saw him, and her snort went unnoticed. Toothy waited for Sisal to lift her hand, then quickly spit the stone onto one of the cookies left on the plate. He patted it down, so it was embedded into the cookie, like an almond. Then he dove off the table undetected. Sasha was almost certain the rat winked at her before he jumped. But she still had her part to do.

  “Wow,” she said. “I bet if you are nice to her, she’ll teach you how to whisper a Cinderhoof incantation into Princess Wisteria’s ear.”

  “What’ll that do?” said Sisal.

  “I don’t know,” said Sasha.

  “Also, why are you even here again?”

  Sasha didn’t have a good answer. But she didn’t need one. Sisal tossed another cookie into her mouth and bit down.

  “Ow!” Sisal held her cheek and spit out the stone. “Did you thee that?” she said. “I hit a rock and bit mah tongue.”

  Sisal screamed and called for Martha to come inspect all the cookies.

  That left Princess Wisteria unattended. Sasha made a quick whistling sound to signal Puck. A second later, Puck emerged from under a table holding the bottle of horse liniment in his mouth. He had probably learned that from Toothy. But as Puck climbed onto Princess Wisteria to apply the liniment, he must have bitten down too hard, because the bottle cap popped off and poured liniment all over him.

  “Crumbsy bumsy!” said Sasha under her breath. Puck’s eyes grew wide. He had just spilled horse tranquilizer all over himself. He looked around in a panic. Then he did the only thing he could do. He jumped on Princess Wisteria and rubbed his face all over.

  The fancy horse snorted. She had never been hugged by a creature like Puck. Puck did his best to transfer as much of the liniment onto Princess Wisteria as he could. Then his head nodded to the side, his eyes closed, and he fell off the horse into a flower bed.

  Sasha ran over to check on him.

  Puck was already asleep.

  He would probably start snoring soon.

  Sasha knew she needed to hurry.

  When she turned to run back, she saw Basil and the headmistress heading toward Sisal. The headmistress was a tall, thin, and pointy-faced woman. Sasha could tell she was once a princess because her clothes looked very expensive. And because she had a mustache of fine hairs and no one must have had the courage to tell her.

  Thankfully, she was still wearing her red hat.

  Sasha bolted toward them and stopped just in front of Basil. “Hi, Basil, what kept you?”

  Basil seemed a little embarrassed. “Uh, we had some horse trouble.”

  Ooh, that’s good. I’ll have to use that later, thought Sasha. “We’ve had a great time here. Your sister is a wonderful host.”

  “She is?” said Basil.

  “Yep. Would you mind introducing me to your guest?”

  “Sure. Headmistress Salima, this is my friend Sasha Bebbin.”

  Sasha made a bow to the headmistress and stuck her hand out for a firm handshake. “Very nice to meet you, Headmistress.”

  The older woman smiled. “What a proper young lady,” she said.

  “I learned everything from my friend Sisal. May I take you to meet her?”

  “If you don’t mind,” said the headmistress.

  “It would be an honor,” said Sasha. “Just one moment.”

  Sasha sidled up to Basil and gestured so he would bend down and she could whisper. “Listen, Basil. Thank you for the ring.” She handed him the ring. “I didn’t want to say this in front of the headmistress, but I think there’s an emergency with Abrus.”

  “Really?”

  Sasha nodded. “I saw him wrestling around in a tablecloth over by the wall. He could probably use your help.”

  She reached into her satchel and pulled out the strip of dried beef that Oxiana had given her. “And would you give him this when you see him? Tell him it’s from me. He’ll know what it’s for.”

  “Okay,” said Basil. He was too worried for the dog bear to ask about the apology beef. “I’m sorry to ask you this, but would you mind watching over Sisal and the headmistress? I really hope it goes well. I mean, the cordial cordial should be kicking in any minute now.”

  “Oh definitely,” said Sasha, patting him on the back. “It’s an extremely, um, effective potion. And I’ll handle the rest.”

  Basil made his apologies to the headmistress and ran off to find Abrus. That left Sasha and the headmistress. At the other end of the garden, Sisal was just finished shouting at Martha to go get her ice for her mouth. Sasha made sure the headmistress didn’t see. She waited for Martha to run past. She then turned and offered her hand to the headmistress. “Shall we?”

  As they walked, Sasha confided in the headmistress. “Sisal is a wonderful candidate for your school. She’s very excited to meet you.”

  “I’ll be the judge,” said the headmistress.

  “The only thing is that she’s very nervous. And when she gets nervous, she sometimes calls herself Princess Wisteria.”

  “But she’s not a princess,” said the headmistress.

  “Not like you, but you can imagine that some girls wish they could be.”

  “Naturally.”

  “It’s just a nervous habit. I’m sure she’ll become much more confident at the academy.”

  “Hmm,” said the headmistress.

  That was the best Sasha could do. She had set everything up for one polite conversation. She cringed to think of all that could go wrong. But she had come this far. She glanced at Princess Wisteria, who was starting to nod off a little. The liniment had made her drowsy at least. The horse didn’t notice the gang of fur sneaking up, each holding a metal poker in their teeth. The metal pokers were from the firepits beneath the samovars of tea. They were used to stir the hot coals underneath, and their tips glowed orange with intense heat.

  The gang of fur had stolen four of the fire brands and approached the horse, ready to execute the plan.

  “Here goes nothing,” said Sasha with a nervous sigh.

  Chapter 11

  Sasha and the headmistress of Sunderdown Academy approach Sisal, who was holding her cheek since she had bitten her tongue. Sasha presented Sisal and said, “Headmistress, please let me introduce Sisal Gentry. Sisal, this is the great woman we talked about before.”

  Sisal was a bit more subdued, since her mouth hurt, but she was still curious.

  “Are you the famous Edmi Straspluss? Tell me.”

  “What did she say?” said the headmistress.

  Sasha whispered, “Are you the famous headmistress, please tell me. She just speaks a little funny.”

  The headmistress made a curious look but chose not to think on it too much. “I am,” she said.

  “Good,” said Sisal. “Then, Edmi Straspluss, can you teach Princess Wisteria to have Cinderhooves?”

  It was practically a demand from Sisal. But thankfully, the headmistress heard only a request, with a please and everything. When Sisal said, “Edmi Straspluss,” it sounded kind of like she was mumbling “headmistress please.” And that made a whole lot more sense that the silly name, so everyone heard what they wanted to hear.

  “I can,” said the headmistress. “All the girls I teach will have fire beneath their feet—the fire of determination.”

  Sisal seemed pleased with tha
t answer.

  The headmistress seemed pleased that Sisal was so intent to learn.

  But now, Sisal expected the headmistress to instruct the horse. Sasha had to think fast. She said, “You came from a place with lots of horses, didn’t you?”

  She knew that Sisal would think she meant the Hill Country, where Cinderhooves roamed. And the headmistress would simply assume she was talking about the caravan she had taken down the mountain from her school. “I did,” said the headmistress.

  “Did you speak with anyone on your travels?”

  “They don’t speak,” said the headmistress, referring to the caravaneers, who only spoke faraway languages.

  But Sisal imagined she was talking about the horses. She said, “Princess Wisteria would love to speak with you. She’s very clever if you just give her a chance.”

  The headmistress gave Sisal a kind look. She was thinking Sisal must have been terribly nervous. Sasha stepped in once again, “And the ride up. Basil said you had some trouble.”

  “Yes. The horses seem very sleepy here.”

  “Not mine,” said Sisal. But they all looked and saw Princess Wisteria, asleep on her feet. The headmistress made a clicking noise with her tongue, a sound of disapproval. And that was all Twitchy the chipmunk needed as his cue. Each of the gang of fur was holding on to the far side of the horse’s legs. At the sound of the clicking, Twitchy bit Princess Wisteria with all his might.

  The horse jolted awake, as if the headmistress had commanded it, and whinnied back at her.

  “Wow!” said Sisal.

  Princess Wisteria took off at a trot, and as she ran, the ground where she had stepped was scorched. It seemed impossible to believe that such a lumpy, old horse would ever run as fast as a Cinderhoof, but to Sisal, it was real. The Cinderhoof incantation had worked.

  To Sasha, it was the gang of fur holding on to each leg, burning the grass with the fiery pokers that had been lying in the hot coals.

  “Edmi Straspluss, I want to know everything,” said Sisal. Sisal gave a slight bow of respect to the woman. A Cinderhoof trainer was just about the only person Sisal admired in the world.