Unfinished Sympathy

by Amélie S. Duncan

  My phone rang. I checked it, and to my dismay it was Ryan.

  “Kevin called out sick and we’re short-staffed,” he said when I answered. “We need you here to work on his section on the Deployed level.”

  “We’re starting the tour,” I replied irritably. “I’ll be there on Wednesday, since this week we are only here for two days. Can’t it wait?”

  “You said you’d fixed most of the work,” he pointed out. “I’ve vouched for you with Logan, told him we could count on you to do it. There couldn’t be much to do today there and Daniel can handle it. Unless you want me to tell him you said no?”

  I gritted my teeth. “I’m on my way.” Looking over at Paul and Daniel, I said, “Sorry, I have to go to Emono. They’re short-staffed and need help with something due today.”

  “This was all organized in advance,” Paul said, his jaw tightening in aggravation. “You must organize shadowing and orientation with our staff on your own then, and I won’t give you extra time to complete the work. My assistant Eileen will give you a pass to come in after hours.”

  Paul’s disappointment in me was clear. Why hadn’t I insisted on going in Wednesday? There was nothing marked as an emergency, since we were still working on the game.

  I cursed myself as Paul turned Daniel over to Eileen and walked away, leaving me alone to dig out my athletic shoes and leave. But then an epiphany hit me. Daniel had kickboxing; perhaps I could find another way to spend time with Paul?

  I glanced from side to side to make certain I was alone before I snuck back in his office. His computer was on, and maybe I could see if I might be included in a meeting. I took a step towards his desk, but hesitated and came to my senses… I would be violating his privacy. I wouldn’t do it. I’d have to find another way.

  The door swung open, and I froze. It was his lawyer, Gunnar. His pale blues did a quick scan over me before he broke into a wide grin.

  He stated the obvious. “Paul’s not here, but you are.”

  I squared my shoulders as my cheeks warmed. “No. We had a meeting here. I thought I left something.”

  “I don’t believe you. You’ll have to come up with something better than that.” He crossed his arms and cocked his head to the side.

  The blood drained from my face. He’d caught me, and I thought it best to come clean.

  “I have to go back to Emono and miss everything, and my coworker Daniel gets to bond with Paul through kickboxing. I was going to check his calendar for another way to work with him, but I didn’t. I’ll tell Paul what I did,” I let my explanation spill out of my mouth, then sucked in air.

  “No need, I won’t tell,” he said, and laughed. “Actually, I think it’s cute, what you did.”

  I furrowed my brows. Cute? Ick. “It’s not. I’ll tell him later.” And get fired. “Excuse me.”

  He caught my elbow as I passed him. “Not so fast. If you give up that easy, then you don’t deserve to get whatever you’re after. I’ve known Paul all my life, and there is nothing he adores more than initiative and perseverance. Spying won’t win you many points with him, but maybe I can help you,” he said. Something about his smile now made me think of the devil.

  I squinted at him. “What do you suggest?”

  “My idea is good, but it would involve you staying the course. You know he enjoys classical music, but you want to know what else he does with his time? He’s really into yoga and meditation. He’ll be at the yoga center tonight. Afterward, he usually has a meal at their restaurant, and hangs out to chat.”

  I dismissed his suggestion at once. “That sounds too personal.”

  “It’s not. You’ll both be relaxed afterward. Wouldn’t that make talking with him easier?” he asked and pulled out his phone. “Allow me to make a quick call to add you to the class so they know to expect you. You’d have time to talk, and who knows? You’ll have your ‘in’ to work with him more.”

  The plan wasn’t foolproof, but I had to go.

  “Okay,” I said.

  He made the call and gave my name. “Done.”

  “Thank you so much,” I said and shook his hand when he hung up.

  “My pleasure, Aubrey. Good luck,” he said, and I left the office with my sneakers on, a spring in my step, and—with Gunnar’s help—a new plan.

  After work, I had just enough time to go home to change into yoga pants and borrow Destiny’s mat before heading back into town to the meditation center. The instructor was about to close the doors when I rushed up and gave my name. Once inside, I unfolded my mat and moved away from the door. The lights were dim, but I could still see the participants in the class were naked. It also didn’t take me long to realize that Gunnar had sent me here to make fun of me, or was it possible that Paul did naked yoga?

  “Please find a spot so we can start,” the uninhibited middle-aged female called from her spotlight on the step platform upfront.

  I moved to the back row. What was I going to do? Was Paul even here?

  I couldn’t help but look at the men in the room. I didn’t find him, but the men there weren’t looking around. In fact, no one was looking around to check out others. They seemed focused on themselves and taking the class seriously. Of course I should still leave, but then the relaxing Indian chanting music started, and I thought, Where’s the harm? It was obvious now that Paul didn’t take this class, and I knew no one there. I never strutted around nude before my partners and doing a downward facing dog would not hide much. I might benefit from trying something new. And though naked yoga was unconventional, it very well might conquer my nerves.

  With that in mind, I stripped off my jacket, sports bra, yoga pants, and underwear, and placed them next to the mat. The warm room temperature made being naked comfortable. Once over that hurdle, I joined the others in following the instructor as she led us through a series of loosening up exercises.

  I stretched my left arm above my head and then the right. Next was a stretch with my hands high above my head. It was freeing.

  When my hands came down another hand gripped me high on my arm.

  Please don’t be Paul …

  However, no one else’s touch gave me that charge. He turned me around fast, and even in the dim light the scowl on his face was hard to miss. I flushed, my nipples tightened, and there was an instant ache between my thighs at the strength and intensity of his presence.

  I’d somehow missed the entrance behind me, and his arrival. My mind caught up to what was before me. Paul was here, unfortunately clothed, and furious with me. To make matters worse, he’d seen me naked in a room full of his yoga friends.

  “Put on your clothes and come outside with me,” he demanded at full volume.

  I tried to suppress a strong shudder, fearing he might take it for what it was—a lustful reaction to his nearness and touch—but that was the least of my problems. I put on my clothes faster than I ever had before, grabbed the yoga mat and followed him out of the room, blinking a few times in the light of the hallway.

  His face was flushed as he glowered at me.

  “Give me a minute.” His chest heaved as he took in deep breaths to calm himself down. When he was sure he had collected himself he growled, “Talk.”

  “I wanted an ‘in’ with you …” My shame made me see how silly it all sounded.

  “I know that much. Gunnar couldn’t help but share what he set up for you.” His nostrils flared. “I tried to get here in time to stop you. He thought you’d leave, but I knew better.”

  “It didn’t seem so bad,” I said, and shrugged.

  “You really thought it wasn’t bad to get naked in a room with me?” he asked incredulously.

  Well, if he put it that way…

  “You weren’t here,” I argued, and folded my arms, though I doubted I had a leg to stand on. “You were being distant at the meeting, and Daniel was now your kickboxing buddy. I wanted a buddy position too.”

  “You play the violin with me, that would be your ‘buddy’ position,”
Paul said brusquely.

  “Us playing together wasn’t on the schedule handed out today,” I pointed out.

  “I left it off because you need to follow the protocol for all employees with orientation and training first,” he replied and ran his hands over his face. “I was using this week to clear up my schedule so we could play together daily. I’m not in this naked yoga class. The one I attend is exclusive for advanced practice. On Mondays, I come here for the Hatha yoga and a meditation run by my mom. It helps to center me, but not today.”

  “I’m sorry,” I said against the lump lodged in my throat. “I’m completely embarrassed.” I wrapped my arms around myself.

  Paul watched me and his gaze softened with empathy. “It’s fine.”

  His hands warmed my shoulders as he placed them there. “Take some deep breaths with me.”

  We breathed together, and some of my stress and discomfort eased, but I was remorseful. “I’m sorry for messing up your meditation center,” I murmured.

  “I know you are,” he said, grinning. “I blame Gunnar, but I need you to help me. If you want more time to work with me, ask. Remember how I asked you for mercy? Seeing you naked wasn’t it.”

  The struggle on his face let me know just how affected he’d been. I knew it was wrong, but I couldn’t stop the delight that blossomed within me at his torment. Paul still wanted me. He was just denying himself. And trying to be professional, my conscience added. Something I was far from doing, but there had never been a man who’d drawn me like him. I didn’t exactly know how to turn the attraction off.

  “I’ll drop you off at home. Actually, would you like to have dinner with me?” he asked.

  I hesitated. I had just enough money to get me to work for the rest of the week until they paid me on Friday.

  “I’m not hungry.” My traitorous stomach growled to tell him differently.

  He lowered his brows. “You are. Is there a problem?”

  I looked at my shoes. “No… how about we share a coffee or something here? I’ve got to come in early tomorrow to make up the work I missed at your office.”

  “A coffee for dinner doesn’t sound good,” he said, and took my elbow. “It’ll get noisy later in here after the classes, or my mom will try to get you to sign up for more. Unless you have a real interest in naked yoga?” His tone held amusement now.

  I lifted my shoulders. “Actually, it wasn’t all that bad for the few minutes I was in there.”

  “From where I stood, it wasn’t bad at all.”

  Was he flirting? I peered up at him.

  He stared straight ahead, but I could see a hint of a smile at the corner of his mouth.

  We walked out of the building. The heat of the night made it comfortable, though I shivered when Paul took my hand casually. “Le Bouchon isn’t too far from here.”

  “I’m not dressed for that place,” I told him. “We could have sandwiches at a place right over there.” I gestured to the brightly lit fast food place.

  “You’re dressed fine. We’ll consider it your Welcome to Crane Productions dinner,” he replied. “I’ll schedule one for Daniel if that’ll make you more comfortable…. I also want to make up for Gunnar sending you to my yoga center.”

  “I’m the one that should apologize first for sneaking around your office to spy on your calendar. I knew it was bad, but I was desperate to start off with a good impression. I didn’t go through with it, though, and was leaving when Gunnar walked in, but he stopped me. Can I ask why you thought I wouldn’t leave?”

  “Impulsive curiosity.”

  His polite way of saying I wanted to see him naked.

  I turned my head to hide my broad grin. To be honest, when I’d found out it was naked yoga, I’d hoped to see him nude and envied the advanced class that got to watch him. Instead of firing me, he invites me out to dinner? I couldn’t believe my luck and was keen to go with him.

  We set off together. It was New York City, and most people were immune to celebrities, but Paul was drop-dead gorgeous. He received double takes from the passersby. I didn’t blame them.

  We crossed the street to the front entrance and my nerves got jumbled. It was one of those upscale, highly decorated French restaurants. It had candle-lit tablecloths, food that looked like pieces of art, and soft jazz renditions of popular love songs. It was perfect.

  Paul was still in his suit, but in my yoga outfit I stuck out like a sore thumb. Not quite the ambiance couples there wanted for their romantic proposals. And right on cue, a waiter walked by with a sparkly cake and a ring.

  I tugged on Paul’s arm. “I’m too underdressed for this place.”

  “We’re fine. Trust me,” he said and winked at me.

  He didn’t even have to flex his celebrity, though I was sure the hostess was well aware of who he was. She was all smiles and poised to do whatever he pleased, which included taking us to a private booth. She checked his jacket and my yoga mat, leaving him in a T-shirt. I left my zip-up jacket on to cover my bare arms and rested back on the plush fabric on the seats. Lovely.

  “The chef’s menu is good here. How about trying a few things?” he suggested.

  I agreed and he ordered them immediately, along with a bottle of wine, leaving me with little time to debate the cost of the meal in my mind. The menu didn’t come with prices.

  I looked at him and smiled. “Thank you.”

  Cheers from the staff filled the room when the woman said “Yes” to the proposal.

  “This place isn’t exactly for a welcome-to-work dinner,” I teased. “It’s romantic.”

  “I know,” he replied with a grin. “But they also take people who just want to eat too.”

  We laughed and used the warm towels they handed us to clean our hands. After the waiter filled our water glasses, he brought out warm bread and chilled wine. Paul let me do the tasting.

  I took another sip and let it linger on my palate before swallowing, as my mom had taught me years ago. “It’s excellent.”

  He grinned, and I wanted to just keep staring at his smile. “It is,” he agreed after taking a taste himself.

  When the waiter left, I asked Paul, “Why are you single?”

  “That came out of nowhere.” He chuckled, and then he lowered his brows when I didn’t join him. “That’s personal, don’t you think?”

  I waved my hand. “What’s more personal than seeing me naked? There’s no going back to your walls and barriers right now. Let’s agree to be normal and real with each other tonight.” My proposal was impulsive, but one I hoped he’d consider.

  Paul took another sip of his wine. He mused as he held my gaze, assessing me.

  I knew I should look away, but I couldn’t. He was mesmerizing. I took in a few breaths to control my racing pulse as I waited for his answer.

  “I’m single because I work a lot. I rarely take time off,” he said. “It’s against the Crane gene to do it. We’re born in suits, with a packed calendar.”

  “You don’t have to work,” I pointed out.

  He tutted. “You don’t know my parents. I learned early on that the bulk of our money goes to their outreaches around the world. I had to make my own way. Though I received the benefit of their support to start my business, which most people don’t get. I’m fortunate and grateful, but my answer to your original question stands. I’m single because I work a lot. Too many apologies and cancelations made relationships difficult to maintain. Things were easier when it was someone I worked with, but I’ve also found that never works out.”

  I fell quiet. The waitress brought the starter, and we ate our field green salad with goat cheese and walnuts. It was pretty and delicious, though small.

  “Different people want different things out of relationships,” I said. “Maybe if you find someone that can work around your life, it might work out better? She can listen to you practice the piano. When you have time to read books, invite her over to read with you. There’s a date.”

  His stare turned penet
rating. “What woman would want to do something as boring as that?”

  I averted my eyes, my stomach muscles clenched tight. “Someone who isn’t in dire need of a job, like I am. Thank you for giving me this opportunity.”

  “You’re welcome. Now, I’d like to hear your answer to the same question. Why are you single?”

  My eyes rose back to his face and lingered on his full, smiling lips.

  I ran a tongue over my own. “Well, I mostly blame being alone on not having my life together, but… I think I push men away. I guess I don’t want to be hurt, with everything else that’s going on.” I stiffened in my seat. I hadn’t expected to be so open and honest.

  “No one does,” he said, taking a sip of his wine. “But that’s no reason to give up and not live a little. Relationships, when I had them, were wonderful.”

  “They can be, I agree, in the short term,” I said. “That’s the only way they work. It’s all fun in the beginning, but then it becomes work to maintain. I’ve found it’s best not to get too comfortable and make plans for the future. It’s better to enjoy it while it lasts.”

  He cocked his head to one side. “I didn’t take you for a cynic. Have you ever been in love?”

  “No,” I replied quickly. “Have you?”

  He smiled wistfully. “I have. When you’re really in love, it is difficult to keep up that cool distance. Love shatters it.” The pleasure on his face made my stomach flutter.

  “Can I ask why you think your love didn’t last?” I asked quietly.

  “We only had passion,” he said. “We were also going in different directions. My next long-term relationship may have to enjoy sitting and reading a book.”

  He was teasing me, but I was still trying to get past the image of Paul in the throes of passion. I shifted in my seat, believing his words confirmed my theory.

  “See? You enjoyed the passion, and when that lost its spark, it ended,” I said.

  “It ended because we had more passion than anything else,” he corrected me. “I know a spark isn’t enough. I’m looking for a real connection, and I believe that lasts. Even though I haven’t found love again yet, I will. I’m not giving up on it, and neither should you. You shouldn’t avoid living your life fully because you’re afraid. That includes dating.”