Gunner: An Eidolon Black Ops Novel

by Maddie Wade

  Sitting on the stool beside her, he turned her to face him, capturing her legs between his knees.

  “I owe you an explanation.”

  Lacey shook her head. “You don’t owe me anything, Gunner.”

  He blew out a frustrated breath. “Okay, I want to explain.”

  “I was out with my friends tonight and when I wasn’t drinking, Skye pinned me with her ‘mum’ look and demanded to know why.”

  Gunner took her wrist in his hand and rubbed the pulse point gently, just needing to touch her in some way. “Did you tell her?”

  “Yes, and then she and all the girls wanted to know whose it was and when I said your name, it was like I had dropped a bomb on the place. Everyone looked at me with pity, and I had to get out of there. I was walking home when Waggs pulled up. Skye had called Nate, who called Waggs and he gave me a lift. When I got here, I got spooked, and he offered to check out the house for me.”

  Gunner pulled back at her admission, running his hand through his hair in frustration. He hated that everyone’s reaction to him had blindsided her. He looked away before making eye contact with the woman who was giving him a reason to live, and not because she might be pregnant but because he suddenly had the urge to want a life again. For the first time in more years than he could remember, he wanted more.

  “You know about Milla, but what you don’t know is about two years ago some people kidnapped her.” He heard her indrawn breath and saw the compassion on her face, feeling her fingers on his thigh made him continue past the lump in his throat.

  “A man I didn’t know knocked on my door and said they had my sister, and if I wanted her to stay alive, I would do as they asked.”

  “What did they want from you?”

  “To sabotage Eidolon, to feed them information that would weaken the team. They said if I didn’t, they would kill her, but first, they would rape her. I wanted to kill him, still do but I had no choice. If I told Jack or the others, they said they would know. I had to wear a wire at all times, and if I took it off, they would hurt her.”

  “You did what any brother would do, Gunner. You protected your sister. She was weaker than Eidolon. They could protect themselves, but she only had you.”

  “You don’t understand. I betrayed my friends, the men who’d had my back.” He stood and began to pace as his shame leaked out between them like a pool of tar.

  Lacey stayed him with her hand. “You did what you had to do. My guess is none of them blames you for that. Any brother would’ve done the same thing. They’re probably butt hurt and feeling slighted.”

  Gunner smirked when he would never have believed humour possible in this situation. “I’m not sure butt hurt is something I would use to describe their reaction.”

  “Where is Milla now?”

  “Jack and the boys rescued her with Fortis but made it look like they killed her. Now the people who were blackmailing me think I’m working for them because I hate Eidolon.”

  “But in reality, you’re working both sides of this, aren’t you? Trying to please everyone and keep everything together and nobody has your back.”

  “I don’t deserve what they’re giving me, and that’s a chance to redeem myself.”

  “Bullshit. You made a mistake, probably some bad ones but you did it for the right reasons, and you’re trying to make it right.” Lacey paced, her arms crossed, looking fucking beautiful. “Tell me something, if Jack or Waggs had done the same, how would you feel?”

  Gunner shrugged. “What does it matter?”

  “Humour me.”

  “I don’t know, disappointed.”

  “Would you turn your back on them?”

  “No, never.”

  “Exactly, but they’ve done nothing to help you out, only judged and hung you out to dry.”

  “It isn’t as simple as that, Lacey.” He couldn’t explain about the other secret he’d kept from Jack and Will, knowing he needed to tell them first, which was another reason he was here.

  “Maybe not, but it isn’t all your fault either.”

  Gunner remained silent, not ready to go there yet. “Either way, I should’ve warned you after what we did in Germany and knowing you were coming here.”

  “It’s fine. I didn’t get the feeling they were angry with you, just sad.”

  “I have more to tell you but not tonight. I didn’t come here to seek forgiveness for my sins.”

  “Why did you come?”

  Gunner moved closer, his hand brushing her hip. “Because I can’t stay away from you.”

  “Good because I want you here. Whatever happens with Jack and Eidolon, I know down to my soul that you’re a good man, Gunner. You may have lost sight of that, but I know it.”

  Gunner cupped her nape, running his thumb over her full lips. “You make me want things I shouldn’t.”

  “Like?”

  “A future, Lacey.”

  Chapter 8

  Lacey didn’t know how to respond to Gunner’s comment about not being able to stay away from her, so she kept quiet.

  “Have you got somewhere to stay tonight?” Her question must have surprised him because he took a step back and she wondered if he thought she was trying to get rid of him. She wasn’t. The truth was she liked him in her home. The feeling of safety she felt around him was only surpassed by the desire that flooded her veins when he was near.

  “I can find somewhere. Don’t worry about me, Cosmo.” He put some distance between them.

  “You can stay here. The truth is, I’ve been feeling spooked the last few days.”

  Gunner spun back to her, closing the gap instantly, a look of awareness in his blue eyes as he surveyed the room.

  “Did something happen?”

  Lacey wrinkled her nose. “Not really, I thought I saw someone in the woods behind the house, but I realise it’s probably my overactive imagination.”

  Gunner opened his mouth and then closed as if thinking better of what he’d been about to say. He closed the gap between them, tilting her head up with his finger and she sucked in a breath at the heat she saw in his eyes. “If I stay here, I’ll want to be in your bed, and if I’m in your bed, I’ll want to be inside you.”

  Lacey swallowed, giving herself more time to make a decision. The truth was the desire in her belly, the heat pooling between her leg, as she imagined him touching her. Lacey licked her lips that were suddenly dry, and Gunner groaned, making her look up into his liquid eyes.

  “I’m okay with all of those things.”

  “Jesus fucking Christ.”

  With one movement she was in his arms, and he was kissing her as if he hadn’t seen her in months and she was the fuel he needed to live. It was consuming and perfect, the scent of his shower gel and something that was entirely Gunner surrounded her adding to the need building inside her.

  She didn’t care that others thought he was bad news; all she cared about was what was between them. A connection that had begun years ago and had flared in Germany. Maybe it was fate bringing them together, and perhaps it was a coincidence, she didn’t know or care. All she knew was that when something felt this good, it would be foolish to ignore it.

  Gunner pulled away and was breathing fast as he moved toward the living space.

  “I can’t think when I’m around you, Lacey. You consume me.”

  It was a frank admission from a man she thought probably kept most things close to his chest.

  “Is that a problem?”

  Gunner smirked as she moved closer to him, his eyes roving over her, making her feel more beautiful than all the photographers in the world ever had.

  “Yeah, Cosmo, it is in some ways. I’m a man with a lot of enemies, and dragging you into my world as I have, put a target on you. To keep you safe, I have to keep my head.”

  Lacey didn’t want to consider the danger he was talking about, at least not tonight.

  “How about in here, in this house, you let me quiet the thoughts that plague you?” She was stan
ding in front of him now and lifted her hand to run a finger down his temple. Watching as his eyes closed. “But out there, you’re who you need to be to keep us safe.”

  “How can you trust me after everything I told you?”

  His voice was rough like broken glass as he asked the question, and she knew that no matter how hard others had been on him in the past he’d been harder—blaming himself for things that weren’t his to carry. She had the overwhelming need to protect this man, to heal him.

  Not because she thought this had broken him but because he was hurting badly, and nobody could see except her, and that made her angry. He was a good man who’d done some bad things. She knew enough to know he’d varnished over things through shame, but a man who could treat her with such gentleness and love his sister as he did wasn’t who he thought himself to be.

  “How can I not? I see a good man who has made some wrong turns and taken the blame when it wasn’t his to carry. You’ve only ever treated me with compassion and tenderness, and that is why I trust you.”

  Gunner cupped her face in his hands. “You make me want to be that man you describe.”

  “You are already, but I see it might take some time, which is fine. Will you be sticking around Hereford for a while?”

  Gunner nodded. “Yes, I have some business with Eidolon to deal with.”

  He wanted to say more she could feel it, but he didn’t. Instead, he kissed her nose. “Why don’t you go on up and I’ll set the alarm and make sure the house is secure?”

  Lacey nodded and turned for the stairs.

  “Lacey?”

  She turned on the first step. “Yes?”

  “If you want me on the couch, that’s fine. I don’t want to push you into anything you’re not ready for or don’t want. I already did that once.”

  “First, I don’t offer my bed to any man, so take it as read that I want you there, and second, you didn’t push me into anything. If I remember rightly, I was the one who made the first move and jumped your bones when you were vulnerable. So, if there’s any blame, it’s mine.”

  Gunner snorted. “You can jump me any time, Cosmo.”

  Lacey smiled at the confident man self-assuredness he showed in that comment.

  “See you upstairs.”

  Lacey turned and walked upstairs a smile curving her lips. She walked into her bedroom and stopped dead. Fear like a block of ice running up her spine as she saw the familiar nightwear laid out on the bed. Her vision began to tunnel, her body frozen as if paralysed, sweat beading on her chest.

  The same nightwear Carmine Russo had made her wear was laid out exactly as he’d done every night. Except this time there was a bloody knife lying in the middle of it. The sight of the blood on the white, silk nightgown snapped her out of her fog, and she let out a terrified scream. Every memory of the things Carmine had done to her coming at her like blows, each one was cutting her deeper and making her feel weaker and more afraid than the last.

  Moments later, she felt strong arms come around her, and Gunner turned her into his chest.

  “It’s okay, Lacey. I have you.”

  Lacey burrowed closer, wanting to absorb the safety of his arms around her. She let Gunner guide her from the room and back down the stairs and sit her on the couch as he pulled a blanket from the back over her shoulders. Lacey didn’t realise it until then, but she was shivering so hard she was shaking.

  Gunner sat beside her, one arm holding on to her, the other using his phone. It was hard to focus on the now; all she could feel was fear and terror that she was being pulled back into the hell she thought she’d escaped.

  She’d thought moving here would give her the safety and home she craved, but now it was being tainted by her past, one she thought she could escape.

  “Waggs, it’s Gunner. I need you to come to Lacey’s place now and bring a few of the team, please. We have a situation.”

  Lacey felt Gunner place the phone down and wrapped his other arm around her, and that was when she noticed he had his gun drawn by his side. She knew he would protect her and the comfort it offered eased her fears just enough that she stopped shaking, but she didn’t pull away from Gunner’s arms, and he didn’t ease his hold in the least.

  “I should have known he’d never give me up.” Her words sounded hollow even to her own ears.

  “I won’t let him or any of his people hurt you, Lacey.”

  “He already did.”

  Gunner kissed her head and held on tight as if he could keep her together with just his will alone. Lacey knew that if anyone could, it would be him.

  “I know he did, Cosmo, and I’m so sorry he hurt you, but I promise you he won’t hurt you again. On my life, I’ll protect you and give you a chance at the life you want.”

  “Thank you, Gunner.”

  “Anything for you, Lacey. You’ve given me more reason to live in the last four days than I have had my entire adult life. There is nothing I won’t do for you.”

  Lacey believed him, and that spoke volumes about the man who was edging his way deeper into her heart with every word and action.

  “Why, Ramberg?”

  Gunner started, and she looked up as he pulled slightly away. “What?”

  “Well, you’re Ramberg, but your sister is Eivinsdóttir.”

  “Oh, that. No mystery really. I was born Gunner Eivinsson. As the male in the family, the name has ‘son’ at the end and a daughter will have ‘dottir’. My father’s name was Eivin and then either son or dottir depending on if it’s a boy or girl. The reason I went by Ramberg was that I wanted to protect my sister and grandmother from my job and keep that part of my life private. So, I changed it when I joined the forces, and now it’s more a part of me than my original name.”

  “It’s very complex.”

  Gunner shrugged. “I guess it is if you don’t grow up with it as I did.”

  Lacey liked talking to Gunner. He was intelligent and interesting and made her feel calm when she’d been about to have a meltdown. His presence in her life was unexpected to say the least, but it was so very welcome, and she hoped it continued because she wasn’t ready to say goodbye to this man and had the frightening feeling she may never want to.

  Chapter 9

  Gunner walked into the building that housed the Eidolon operation and felt a familiar melancholy assail him. This place, the buildings, the fitness course outside the kitchen where Alex cooked, held such good memories for him. He’d spent the best days of his life in this place, and the thought that he was only here as a guest now damn near broke him.

  Last night it had been instinctual to call Waggs and ask for his help, but when the entire Eidolon team showed up, he’d been shocked. He shouldn’t have. These men were a team, and they played together and worked together, and when one was in trouble, they all came running.

  He knew they had only come because it was Lacey and she was close to Nate and Skye, but it had still felt good for just a minute. His proudest moments had been serving with these men, working to rid the world of evil and protect the monarchy.

  Alex had brought Evelyn, his partner who was as deadly as any of the men, and she’d sat with Lacey while she explained what she’d found. He’d then explained what he’d seen in the woods. It had been agreed that he would stay overnight with Lacey and he’d seen a few raised eyebrows but ignored it.

  Alex and Blake had also stayed to keep watch from outside. Now he was here so he could tell the team about what he knew, but he owed it to Jack to tell him and Will first. It was something he’d desperately hoped to avoid, but the time had come where he could no longer deny the truth.

  He paused at the door to the gym, seeing the sparring ring in the middle where he’d kicked ass and had his ass kicked so many times and then followed it up with a drink down the pub.

  “Been a while since we got in the ring together.”

  Gunner glanced sideways at Waggs, noting his words held no anger just cold hard facts. “Yeah, it has.”

 
“Do you regret it?”

  Gunner didn’t have to ask what he was talking about, they had been close once, as close as brothers before he blew it all up.

  “Every day and yet every day, I don’t see how I could have made a different choice. You saw Milla, she was so vulnerable, and I’d already taken enough from her.”

  Waggs nodded, staying silent as if absorbing what Gunner had admitted. It was hard to tell people you had hurt and betrayed that you would do it again, but Gunner had lied enough, and he owed these men nothing but the truth now.

  “I never saw it before, but I see it now.”

  Gunner cocked his head as he faced Waggs who was studying him intently.

  “Saw what?”

  “You blame yourself for her being the way she is.”

  Gunner snorted and looked away. “Good reason for that, I fucking am.”

  “Tell me something. If this was the other way around and Milla was healthy, and you were in her place, would you want her to blame herself as you do?”

  “Of course not, but regardless of that, I still betrayed this team.”

  “Yes, you did.”

  Gunner hadn’t expected Waggs’ agreement to hurt so much.

  “But I can’t say in all honesty I wouldn’t have done the same thing in your place. If I could go back and save my twin, I don’t think there would be any price I wasn’t willing to pay. And if anyone says different, I think they’re lying.”

  Gunner felt the emotion like a punch to the gut. He knew Waggs grieved the loss of his twin but didn’t know the full story and had never asked, preferring to let the man keep his secrets so he could keep his.

  Waggs held out his hand and Gunner looked at it for a moment not sure if he was reading things correctly, but Waggs kept it there until Gunner shook it.

  “I’m sorry I wasn’t there when you needed me, and I’m sorry I never gave you the benefit of the doubt. I know the man you are, and I should’ve looked for a reason instead of acting all hurt and betrayed. I let you down, and I regret it. But for what it’s worth, I have your back now and if you need anything, just ask.” With that, Waggs walked away, leaving Gunner feeling shocked to his core.