Chasing Serenity

by Ashley, Kristen

Holy fuck.

  “Did I just eat…?”

  “Three tablespoons of butter?” she finished for him when he couldn’t go on. “Yes.”

  She then casually dropped half of her bacon into Zeke’s open mouth.

  Zeke instantly bowed his head and crunched.

  “Babe, I don’t feed Zeke bacon,” he told her.

  “I’m sorry?” she asked, then bit into her half of the rasher.

  “I don’t feed Zeke bacon. And I never feed him at the table.”

  “I didn’t feed him bacon,” she outright lied to his face.

  He fought laughter and shared something she knew. “I just watched you do it.”

  She turned her gaze down to Zeke. “Did your favorite woman in the whole wide world feed you bacon?”

  Zeke, already having devoured the treat, got up on all fours and did a full body wag that could be taken as a no.

  But mostly it was an I worship you because you’re you…and you give me bacon.

  She patted his head and looked to Judge. “See?”

  “Now you’ve got my dog lying for you.”

  “I’ll speak for both Zeke and myself as I share we’re gravely insulted.”

  She was not.

  A glance at Zeke and he wasn’t either.

  Judge grabbed his own rasher, muttering, “It’s good you rock a blowjob.”

  “Please, Judge,” she drawled. “You’re with me because every other woman you’ve been with fell at your feet then bored you to tears, and I was hard to win, not to mention I’m insanely interesting.”

  He was caught between laughing and being deadly serious when he said, “I’m with you because yesterday, you shared you’d arranged it with Mi that you’d have every Thursday and Sunday off, and you’d be going into work late on Friday. Therefore, if I wanted you, which I told you I do, and I’ll confirm that now, I could have you in my bed Wednesday and Thursday. And then you said I was free to be here from Friday to Sunday, should I so wish. And I so wish. But you should know, not one woman I’ve dated who lived in Phoenix put herself to that trouble for me. Arranged her life so I could have her in my space and I wasn’t the only one in a fucking car driving back and forth all the time.”

  She stared at him, those beautiful brown eyes working hard as she took in all he said and all it meant.

  “That or they were ambitious, which is good, but when they felt their careers were more important than mine, or what I did wasn’t serious, but what they did was, it’s bad,” he continued.

  Chloe remained silent, her gaze not once leaving his face, but it flickered, and he saw the wildcat rearing.

  But he wasn’t done.

  “Or they came from money, and we can just say that Sasha might have fucked up because she’s struggling with some issues, but I’ve learned to know a spoilt bitch when I see her, because I dated one, and she took two years of my life before her mask slipped, and Sasha is not that.”

  He could almost hear the growl of that cat reverberating through the room.

  “Or they fell at my feet and bored me to tears,” he finished. “Though, I didn’t know that last part at the time. I do now that I know you.”

  It took a beat for her to wrangle control of the she-beast within before she said softly, “More fool them, but very fortunate me.”

  “Stop being sweet,” he replied in her same tone. “I haven’t recovered from fucking you yet, and I’m pretty sure my arteries are clogging with butter as we speak.”

  He watched her pretty lips twitch.

  She then turned her attention to the last rasher of bacon on her plate, broke it and dropped half in Zeke’s waiting mouth.

  With her gaze to Judge, she chewed her own idly even if it was also challengingly.

  He didn’t say a word.

  Judge was active, and Zeke was active with him.

  They’d both work it off.

  Though, Judge would have more fun with some of the ways he’d do it.

  But giving in meant Chloe would have what she wanted.

  Spoiling Judge.

  And spoiling Zeke.

  And one thing he was all in to do, if it was within his power, was to give Chloe what she wanted.

  * * *

  A week and a half later…

  Judge smelled it on entering his house after work.

  Heaven.

  He found her and his dog in the kitchen.

  Chloe was cooking.

  Zeke was idolizing her.

  He counted himself lucky when his dog deigned to come to him to say hello when he showed.

  But Chloe gave Judge a one finger up motion and said into the room, “I’ll call and arrange the appointments, but I have to talk to Judge before I do that.”

  “All right, darling,” her mother said from the speaker of her phone which was sitting on the counter.

  Zeke moved out of the way, and Chloe moved in.

  He got a peck on the lips and then she said to her mother, “He’s just home. We’ll talk and I’ll text you later. I’ll confirm the rest when I see to it.”

  “Sounds good. Tell Judge I said hi.”

  It was a little wild that, in his kitchen, over a speaker, Imogen Swan was telling him she said hi.

  It was an odd contradiction, but the woman he knew as Genny doing it wasn’t wild at all.

  “You can say it yourself.” Chloe had moved to the oven and was peering in. “You’re on speakerphone.”

  “Hey, Genny,” he called.

  “Hello, Judge. You’re home, I’ll let you two alone. Maybe we can all have dinner soon?”

  “That’d be awesome,” Judge said.

  “I’ll plan it before you head off to LA,” Chloe said.

  “Excellent. Have a good night, you two. Love you, Chloe.”

  “Love you more,” Chloe replied, did some kissing noises, then terminated the call.

  “Hey, baby,” Judge belatedly greeted.

  “Hello, chéri,” she replied.

  “What are we having for dinner?” he asked.

  She’d moved to the counter where there were the makings of a massive green salad which was not what he was smelling.

  “Tartiflette,” she declared. “And salad,” she finished unnecessarily.

  He hit the fridge for a beer, asking, “What’s tartiflette?”

  “Bacon, potato, and cheese casserole made with onions.”

  Okay…

  That was what he was smelling.

  “Your cooking is gonna kill me,” he bullshitted, since he could dive into that smell headfirst, so he couldn’t wait to shove it into his mouth.

  “Regardless that they eat alarming amounts of bread, cheese and butter, the French are exceptionally healthy. This is because their food is fresher, it isn’t overproduced, overprocessed, or injected with things that aren’t good for you that, once consumed, will also swim in your body. And they don’t have as much fast food. Last, they’re not consumed with the idea of low fat, as Americans are, but without fat, the flavor is gone, therefore we cover that up by adding ridiculous amounts of sugar. Many fats are good for you as your body actually needs them. Sugar, it doesn’t need, but we eat a lot of it, and the way food is processed adds even more. To wit, regardless of the contents of this meal, although it isn’t a bowl of spinach, it’s not going to kill you.”

  He’d turned from the fridge, beer in hand, to watch her deliver this speech.

  And when she was done, he spoke softly.

  “I wasn’t complaining, baby. I was teasing. Your cooking is the shit. And for the record, I don’t eat fast food. I also go organic.”

  “I perused your refrigerator. I noticed,” she sniffed.

  “Are you pissed at me?” he asked, watching her closely.

  “No,” she returned sharply. “I’m being snippy because Mom wants me to go to LA in the next couple of weeks for a very long weekend, meaning arrival on Wednesday and leaving Sunday. This so I can be with her while she has meetings with some people so she can decide who
’s going to design her wedding gown. And first, I’m trying to be happy for her and in a space this will be fun for all, when I am happy for her. Delighted. Beside myself for her and Bowie. But I’m also…not.”

  Shit.

  Yeah, she was always pulled both ways with that, and it understandably messed her up.

  “I get that,” he replied quietly.

  “Adding to that, she wants Sasha there, and since this is a girls’ thing, a family thing, a mother-daughter thing, but also because Sasha has nothing better to do, she’ll be there.”

  He kept his mouth shut but nodded.

  She carried on.

  “And I’m trying to get into another headspace where I won’t be vexed by the fact that Mom will probably buy Sasha’s ticket when I won’t allow her to buy mine, even though she’ll offer, because she’s a mother. I won’t accept, because I have a job and pay my own way considering I’m an adult, and as such, Mom and Dad’s responsibilities for caring for me financially are done. And Sasha has a trust fund, which was given to her, but she also mooches off Mom, Dad and Bowie. A lot. None of my business, as we’ve discussed. It’s still infuriating as all hell.”

  “I get that too,” he said, and he did.

  Not his business either, but that was uncool.

  “And while Mom’s in LA working, since most of the filming will happen in Phoenix, meaning she might not have to be in California very often, she and Bowie haven’t decided yet about where she’ll-slash-they’ll stay the time she has to be there. Buy some condo or loft or small property and have it for all of us to use if we’re there. Or stay in hotels. She can’t really know until she understands how much time she’ll be there. So, for now, Hale’s letting her stay in Uncle Corey’s house. That being the house where he killed himself.”

  “Holy fuck,” Judge interjected.

  She nodded, sharply, and kept speaking.

  “And Mom’s determined to face that and memories of Corey, taking Duncan with her. But I’m not ready for the one, two, three punch of Mom diving into plans of getting remarried, having to spend time with Sasha and facing Uncle Corey’s death house, because I’ll be staying there too.”

  She stopped talking, but before Judge could say anything, she added one more.

  “Oh, and I don’t want to be away from you. Wednesday through Sunday is exactly our time together. And it’s a few weeks down the line, but losing that time with you doesn’t thrill me.”

  Since she seemed done, he opened a drawer to grab his bottle opener, saw to that, and sucked back a sip of beer as he moved to her.

  Then he set it aside and pinned her to the counter, leaning into her, hands on the edge of the worktop.

  She didn’t move or make a peep, and this was no surprise. Judge had noticed she liked being pinned, and not just sexually (though she liked that most of all).

  She liked it when they were watching TV.

  When they were sleeping.

  And times like now.

  He didn’t know if it was a safety thing. Her world was chaotic right now, and if he narrowed it down to just them, it soothed her. Or if it was something else.

  He just liked doing it, so he was grateful she liked it too.

  “It’s a little weird she’s staying where your uncle…did what he did.”

  “You’re being very sweet,” she whispered. “But he committed suicide. Judge. It isn’t a dirty secret, and not only because he was who he was, so it literally is not secret but worldwide news. And as much as I miss him, it was also his life, so it was his decision. He had demons. He could no longer battle them. So he took his own life.” She cupped his jaw then dropped her hand before she finished, “What I mean to say is, it’s okay to say the words, honey.”

  He nodded. “So then, it’s a little weird she’s staying where your uncle killed himself.”

  “Yes, it is,” she agreed. “Hale wants to sell, but Mom is pushing against it. It’s bizarre. Both Mom and Dad are more parent to Hale than Uncle Corey or Sam ever were, but it seems really strange to me she’s butting her nose into that. I don’t understand why.”

  “You might find out.”

  Her gaze went skyward, and her lips murmured, “Merveilleux.”

  His poor baby.

  “Is this what you had to talk to me about?” he asked.

  Her gaze came back to him. “Yes.”

  He didn’t get it.

  “Why did you need to talk to me about all that before you finalize plans with your mom?”

  “Because I need to know if you’re all right for me to go.”

  Judge stood perfectly still.

  “Are we here…already?” he asked cautiously.

  That was when she jolted, looked down and to the side, and tucked her hair behind her ear.

  She also was about to push through the pen he’d caged her in, but he caught her by saying, “Hey.”

  She stopped moving and slowly, her gaze came to him.

  “I assumed. It was wrong. I’m thinking ahead. Going too fast,” she rattled this off quickly.

  “Chlo—”

  “And I probably should have, you know, not expected you wanted me up at your house two nights a week. You seemed pleased. And now I feel that maybe—”

  “Baby, chill a second, yeah?”

  She clapped her mouth shut.

  “Just to confirm, I’m there. I guess with all this, you’re there too. I just think we need to take a second and be in that.”

  “You’re there?” she asked softly.

  “Fuck yeah,” he answered, not softly.

  Her eyes lit.

  Christ, she was gorgeous.

  But since they were doing this…

  “That means exclusive, Coco. We’re there, but we’re still new. Even so, I’m not down to share.”

  “Me…” She cleared her throat. “Me either.”

  “Good,” he murmured.

  “Good,” she whispered.

  They didn’t take their eyes off one another, and hers were so bright, it felt like they warmed him.

  Right to the bone.

  She then brought it up.

  “We should get tested. And I can look into something for birth control. I haven’t been…active so I’m not on anything right now.”

  “We’ll do that.”

  “Soon.”

  He felt one side of his mouth go up at how quickly she said that.

  “Soon,” he agreed.

  “I’m sorry I was grouchy about my cooking, mon beau, I know you were teasing.”

  “You letting it all hang out on my couch a couple of weeks ago doesn’t make it all go away.”

  Some of her brightness dimmed, she rested her hands on his stomach and said, “Yes.”

  “I don’t think I have to say it again, but I will. I’m here for you. It’s not just my job as your man, it’s my privilege.”

  She clicked her teeth but didn’t attempt to hide she got off on that.

  He grinned.

  “As for LA, go. You probably figured this out, but my job includes travel. It happens mostly in the summer, when we do the vast majority of our hikes, but I wanted Rix to take me to New Mexico where we’ll be shooting. We can do that while you’re in Cali.”

  “Perfect,” she whispered.

  He took in her gorgeous face in his kitchen with the smell of the dinner she cooked for him filling the air.

  But he decided not to give it to her, not now, he didn’t want to wake the she-beast with Chloe skating through a vulnerable place.

  This being getting into the fact that not one of his girlfriends made dinner for him in his kitchen.

  In their own?

  Yes.

  Making themselves at home in his and what that communicated about how they felt about him?

  No.

  So yeah, she was very right.

  Perfect.

  “Zeke been out?” he asked.

  “We took a walk about an hour ago. You have nice neighbors.”

  He gr
inned again.

  “When’s dinner?”

  “It should be done in about ten minutes, but it can rest.”

  “I’m hungry.”

  “Good.”

  “Coco?”

  “Yes?”

  “I like coming home to you.”

  That got the bright back.

  And more.

  She threw her arms around his neck, pressed deep even as she slid up to her toes, and kissed him hard.

  They made the salad together while the tartiflette rested.

  It tasted just as it smelled.

  Awesome.

  * * *

  Three weeks later…

  He was on his deck with the beer, the waning sun, his dog, his phone, a bag upstairs in his room needing to be unpacked after his return from New Mexico and the vague idea of grilling hamburgers when his phone went with a FaceTime call.

  Chloe.

  He answered and saw she too was on a deck, the sun shining far more brightly on her since it was reflecting off an ocean, and her hair was swaying in a gentle breeze.

  She looked stunning.

  Who said California girls had to be blondes?

  “Hey, gorgeous, how’s it going?” he greeted.

  “Hello, chéri,” she replied, but said no more.

  He smiled to hide his concern. “So…how’s it going?”

  She’d been there since Wednesday. It was now Saturday.

  She’d warned him her time would be a whirlwind because they were beginning the wedding preparations with her mom (something Genny, and Chloe concurred, said had to be started by the selection of the gown—no other plans could be made until the gown was decided, which reportedly was frustrating Duncan, who was down to marry her wearing boots and jeans and flannels by his lake, but Genny wanted to do it up big, and Judge saw that—they’d waited a long time for this celebration).

  But also she’d be busy because she was “home.”

  She had friends to see, and they all had old haunts they wanted to visit. Not to mention, Hale was in town so there was family time.

  He’d received a ton of texts.

  But this was the first time they spoke.

  He’d been busy too with Rix, hiking trails and making decisions on locations.

  But even so, it made him twitchy.

  That feeling came from them being apart when, since they got together, they were together and spent a lot of time in each other’s company.