Chapter 26
Nicholas
In that moment, I realized how little I truly know about Kenzie; I know now her ex abused her, but I don’t know what her time with him was really like. She is very closed off about her past, although given the little bit I do know, it makes sense that she would have difficulty trusting men. I should have realized that having Hunter bring her here today instead of to the bakery where she expected to go would have upset her. All I wanted to do was to get a chance to talk to her alone—she wasn’t responding to the flowers I sent, so I really didn’t know what else I could do. Alex told me to talk to her alone, to take her somewhere and do something with just the two of us… yet he didn’t tell me how the hell to get her attention when she wouldn’t talk to me!
“Can we go swimming?” Kenzie pulls me from my thoughts.
“Of course! Come with me and I’ll show you where everything is.” I stand and take her hand to help her up from the lounge chair, where we’ve been sitting for the last couple of hours. I hadn’t realized how much time had passed, until I looked at my phone and realized it was well after noon. After the heavy discussion, I think a swim sounds like a great idea. With her hand still in mine, I lead her back through the main area of the boat and down the steps to the bedrooms.
“I’ll give you a quick tour while we’re here,” I offer. “Obviously this is the kitchen; it has all main features of a home kitchen but on a much smaller scale. After we go swimming, I’ll bring up the lunch that Julie packed and we can eat if you’re hungry.”
“Sounds good.”
“Through here is a small office, over there is a guest bedroom and bathroom, and then this is the master bedroom.”
“Wow, Nicholas, this is amazing! I had no idea so much space was down here. I mean, the boat is obviously big but… wow!”
“In the bag, you’ll find a bathing suit, a cover up, a pair of flip flops, shorts, and a top—“
“You bought all of this?”
“Yes… well, technically a personal shopper arranged all of this. I gave her your picture and she based the sizes from that, so I’m hoping they fit—“
“Thank you… You definitely didn’t need to do all of this, but thank you.”
“Kenzie, I just want you to know again how sorry I am—“
“Nicholas, you’ve apologized; you’re forgiven. I overreacted as well, and like you, I didn’t know how to fix things. The flowers you sent me, which were absolutely beautiful by the way, were your way of trying to reach out to me. I wanted to call you so many times, but I didn’t know what to say, because I don’t think I even understood why it bothered me so much that you thought you needed to pay me.”
“Because you recognized before I did that this was more than a business arrangement. I don’t know when it happened, but it did.”
“Do you think that’s okay though? I mean… Oh, I don’t know what I mean.”
“Kenzie, I’m sure Bridget has clients who have developed friendships and probably even relationships from these arrangements. I think when two people spend a lot of time together, it’s a natural reaction. It just didn’t take as much time for us.”
“I suppose.”
“I’m going to change in the guestroom; how about we meet on the deck in a few minutes? Anything you might need should be in the bathroom just through that door.”
“Thank you, Nicholas… again, for all of this.”
“You’re welcome.”
I slowly close the door and walk across the small hallway to the guest bedroom, closing myself in the room before I sit on the bed. I never expected to tell Kenzie so much about what happened and thought I could gloss over all the details, just giving her the gist of it. I never thought I would tell her as much as I did. I’m relieved I did though; I may not have realized it at the time, but I’m really glad she didn’t accept the money I tried to give her. I wouldn’t have thought any less of her if she did, but when she didn’t, it… it just reinforced what I already knew, that Kenzie was nothing like she was.
When I hear the bedroom door open and shut across the hall, I realize I need to hurry up and get changed. When I make my way up to the deck, I stop dead in my tracks at seeing Kenzie. She is standing at the end of the boat, holding onto the rail and looking out over the water. She’s wearing nothing but the bikini that I purchased for her and combined with the backdrop of the blue water, makes her look incredibly beautiful.
FUCK
I should have told Neiman’s to give her a one-piece bathing suit. Hell, I should have “forgotten” the bathing suit and taken swimming off the agenda for today. My mind immediately goes to all the things that I could do to this gorgeous woman right now. There is no one around for miles, I could fuck her right now, right where she is standing, and no one would ever know. I could walk up to her, tease her senseless, and then pull her bikini bottoms to the side, plunge into her, and fuck her against the railing of the boat without giving it a second thought.
But I won’t, and I can’t. I can’t jeopardize our arrangement, and more importantly I would never hurt her. I’m not what she needs, what she deserves, and I don’t think I ever could be. She deserves someone who comes without baggage, someone who won’t have issues trusting her completely. The realization that I could never be that man is the equivalent of having a bucket of ice dumped down my swim trunks.
“It’s beautiful out here, isn’t it?” I say, approaching Kenzie.
“Absolutely stunning; I see why you enjoy coming out here. Do you spend much time on the water?”
“Not as much as I would like to, unfortunately. If it were up to me I would be out here every weekend…”
“What stops you?”
“Work typically; then there are various social events but mostly it’s work.”
“If I could get away from everything, I would take advantage of it whenever I could. Being out here makes you forget… everything,” she muses wistfully.
Those simple sentences make me realize she truly gets why coming out here means so much to me. She may not know that she gets my reason, but her statement alone tells me she feels the same way I do when she looks out at the water. For some reason, it is so easy to lose yourself in the waves when all you see is blue in all directions.
“I put some of the suntan lotion on, but I couldn’t reach my back. Do you mind?” Kenzie asks.
“Sure, of course.” I take the bottle from her as I step closer to her. “Is it okay if I untie the bottom strap? It might be easier—“
“Sure.” Her hands immediately go to the fabric covering her breasts, holding it in place.
Despite the earlier realization, I find myself wishing she would have let the top fall off. I squirt some of the lotion onto my hand and slowly apply it to her back. She jumps when I first touch her, probably from the coldness, but immediately relaxes as I rub the lotion on. As I smooth it down her back, for the first time I see scars. They’re small and light, barely noticeable unless you’re close to her, but they are there.
“Kenzie?”
“I scar easily…” She shrugs, and I have to force myself to continue what I’m doing rather than focus on the scars. There are a easily two dozen of them, all different sizes and shapes, but they cover from the middle of her back to her waistline, at least from what I can see.
“Kenzie...” I don’t know what to say, what I should say. I hate the fucker who did this to her and want nothing more than to find a way to destroy him for hurting her. I can’t imagine any man wanting to do something like this to a woman, let alone one that is as beautiful and perfect as Kenzie is.
Perfect?
“Don’t, Nicholas… please. It was a long time ago—can we just forget about it?”
Her voice is shaky as she tries portraying the strong image I know she wants me to see. I’m suddenly confronted with an overwhelming need to hold her, to comfort her, and to tell her that everything will be okay, no one would ever hurt her again. But I don’t. Instead, I tie her bathin
g suit back into place and step away.
“Thank you,” her voice is barely above a whisper and I have no doubt that she is thanking me for more than putting suntan lotion on.
“Do you want to swim here or should we move the boat?” I suggest.
“I like it here, if you don’t mind.”
“No, here is perfect.”
We go to the back of the boat, where there is a ladder and a small stand to sit on, but Kenzie surprises me and dives right into the water from the deck of the boat. I chuckle as she splashes me with cold water from her jump. She swims out quite a distance before turning around and swimming back to the boat without coming up for a breath of air.
“Aren’t you coming in?” she asks.
Feeling the need to lighten things up, I stand up and cannon ball into the water only a few feet from her.
“Nicholas!” she giggles and tries to splash water at me but I sink under before it hits me.
We spend the rest of the day just like that, swimming and having fun. Gone are the heavy conversations and the many unanswered questions that remain between us. Instead, we keep things light and current rather than talking about our pasts. We enjoy the chicken salad lunch that Julie prepared for us before heading back to the marina late in the afternoon.
As I stand behind Kenzie, watching her steer the boat back toward the marina, I find myself surprised at how nice today turned out. I was prepared for anything to happen today, anything but this. I pictured her refusing to get on the boat with me, or cursing me out for trying to give her the money, or worse yet, even pictured her ending our arrangement because of what I did. Never did I dare to hope that today would have gone as well as it did. I actually had fun… I can’t remember the last time I could say that. Hell, I can’t remember the last time I spent the entire day with a woman.
It’s weird, but when I think back to being with her, I realize just how off things were between us. I never spent an entire day with her… sure a few hours here and there, but that usually was it. She never wanted to come on the boat, claiming the water made her sick. Today, Kenzie and I spent more than six hours on the boat… just the two of us. The only time she and I spent six hours together would be at a function with hundreds of other people around. Although it wasn’t always her fault because I was always busy with PFS. Looking back at it now, I could have made more of an effort to spend time with her… if I had wanted to.
It didn’t take much to spend the day out here with Kenzie; just a few meetings and calls rearranged and some work pushed off until tomorrow. At the time, I thought she just understood how busy I was, but now I see that it was all part of the façade that she wanted me to see.
“Nicholas… Nicholas!” Kenzie pulls me from my thoughts as we approach the marina.
“You’re doing fine, we’re going to head into the third row—“
“No! You need to do this! I’m going to hit another boat, or the dock or someone!”
“You’ll do fine, keep your hands firm on the wheel.” I put my hands on the wheel on either side of her, essentially making it impossible for her to move. She’s tense around me but I’m not worried; she has been steering the boat for the last hour, navigating around several other boats with complete ease. Besides, my hands are on the wheel, I can easily correct anything she does before anything were to occur. She may be scared, but I think secretly she is enjoying having this control.
“We’re going to start to turn left just after we pass that boat, do you see it?” I ask.
“Ye… yes,” she’s nervous, but I’m not.
“Perfect… yup… just like that.”
“I can’t believe I did that!” she exclaims happily when I cut the engine at the dock.
“I told you that you could do it!”
She turns and throws her hands around my neck, pulling me close to her before she rests her face in the crook of my neck. My hands automatically go around her waist, holding her close to me.
“Thank you, Nicholas… thank you for today,” she whispers against my neck so softly that I can feel her lips move against my skin.
“Anytime, Kenzie.”
She pulls back slightly from me until her face is only a couple inches from me, her hands are still wrapped around my neck and mine around her waist. My eyes find hers and immediately I feel like she is looking at me differently. I feel like she can see right through me, as if she can see deep into me. Suddenly, I feel… exposed.
“Nicholas,” Kenzie whispers when I look away as if I’m afraid if she continues looking at me the way she is right now, she will be able to see it all.
“Thank you… for telling me everything today; thank you for trusting me.” She leans up just enough to place her soft lips against mine. Her eyes close the moment our lips touch, but I can’t bring myself to close mine. Her fingers run through the ends of my hair at my neck, while my hands find the bare skin just beneath the back of her shirt. As she becomes more certain of herself, or maybe of what she’s doing, Kenzie deepens our kiss—changing it from a kiss between two friends to one between…
BBBBBBBBBBBBBBBEEEEEEEEEEEPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP
We both immediately pull away from each other at the sound of a boat’s loud horn not far from us. On one hand, I want to kill the fucker who stopped Kenzie from kissing me, but on the other hand, I know it’s probably for the best. If she had continued to kiss me like that, I don’t know if I would have been able to stop myself. My dick is already stirring with her body pressed up against it.
“Carter will be waiting to drive us back to The Accord, unless you need to go somewhere else?”
“No, that’s fine.”
As we head toward the front of the boat, I see Carter waiting for us on the dock, and I have no doubt that he just saw what transpired between us. Thankfully, I don’t need to worry about him saying anything—unless I ask Carter for his opinion, he rarely gives it. I tell Kenzie to wait on the deck for me so I can get off the boat first. I toss Carter a rope, and he quickly secures the boat to the dock as I step off. Kenzie takes my hand, not releasing it as we walk toward the car.
“Mac will see to it?” I ask Carter.
“Yes, he is already here and waiting.”
“Mac?” Kenzie asks.
“He’s… my boat guy, I guess you could say. He gets the boat ready when I want to take it out, and like today, he will see that it’s shut down completely and secure it for the night.”
The ride back to the city is quiet, but Kenzie doesn’t let go of my hand the entire ride, and I don’t stop holding hers either. When we get back to The Accord, I walk Kenzie to her apartment door and kiss her on the cheek as has become our tradition after dates. I am more than tempted to kiss her on the lips again. I want nothing more than to feel her body against mine and her lips on mine again. In the end, I know nothing good could come of that… if my image-changing mission is to be successful, I can’t give her a reason to break the contract. A night with me fucking her would almost guarantee that.
Chapter 27
Kenzie
I’ve enjoyed staying at The Accord, but the fact remains that it is Nicholas’s apartment. I think I would feel more secure if I had a place of my own—some place that I couldn’t lose without any notice if Nicholas suddenly decides to end our arrangement. The issue I know I’m going to have though is finding a place that is safe, so that while Nicholas and I have this arrangement the press can’t get to me, at a price I can afford. Right now, I think I can afford a small apartment in a decent area, but I’m concerned when the arrangement ends what will happen. I don’t think I could sign another contract with Bridget.
If this arrangement with Nicholas has taught me anything, it’s that I can’t be involved with someone without emotional attachments. He was right when he said that our arrangement has begun to go beyond a business arrangement and we’ve sort of become friends. We’re not the type of friends who call each other or text, but when we go on dates we share things about our lives. I don’t know how
I will feel when he ends this—I think it will feel like losing a friend, and it’s been a long time since I’ve had someone I considered a friend. I quickly shake my head from those thoughts; I need to just focus on keeping things status quo between us, which means not kissing him again. I can’t be the reason he decides to end our arrangement.
Nicholas and I were supposed to go to dinner earlier this week but he ended up having to cancel because of a last minute business meeting he had to fly to. We’re going to dinner at his parents’ tonight; I’m not sure how I feel about this. Although I’ve met Vivienne and talked to her several times now, I can’t help but feel nervous spending the evening with them. From what Bridget told me, Nicholas’s entire family will be there, which I assume includes Austin and Cara.
Bridget also confirmed that next week, Nicholas has a busy schedule and has requested I accompany him to several different events, including a charity fundraising dinner and a business. When I was talking to her, I found myself wondering if she knew about our day on the boat or the weekend that we spent together. I feel guilty that we did these things without going through her as stated in our contract. However, I know if we had for either of these things, it would have resulted in a payment from Nicholas—obviously not something I want. Since I don’t expect us to be spending more time together outside of our actual arrangement, I decide against informing Bridget about the weekend and the day on the boat.
I struggled with what to wear for dinner tonight; Bridget said that Nicholas told her that the dress code would be casual for dinner. What the hell is casual though to a family that has the amount of money that the Parkers have? I end up spending an hour at Stacy’s, where I eventually choose a halter style sundress that falls just to my knees with a pair of dressy sandals. I think it’s a little more than casual, but I hope that it will fit in with what the Parkers expect for tonight. I was a little surprised when Bridget scheduled this dinner. I had assumed I would only see them at different events. I guess I wasn’t expecting to see them in such an intimate or personal setting…
The Arrangement Duet Box Set Page 27