Knock knock
Thankfully, Nicholas pulls me from my thoughts and overall worry about how tonight is going to go. I quickly grab my purse, set the alarm, and open the door, where he is waiting for me. For the first time since I’ve met him, Nicholas is wearing jeans, which surprises me. I immediately second guess my outfit for tonight, wondering if I shouldn’t go back inside and change into something more casual.
“You look… very nice,” Nicholas says.
“Do you think I should change?”
“No! Why would you?”
“Bridget mentioned the dress would be casual for tonight, and you’re in jeans... ”
“I assure you Cara will not be dressed in jeans, if that’s what you’re worried about. I’m not sure that girl owns a single pair. I can’t remember the last time I even saw her in jeans. You look perfect… you don’t need to change.”
“If you’re sure.”
We walk down to the elevator where Carter is waiting and escorts us to the SUV. Nicholas is busy typing away on his cell phone without a care in the world, meanwhile I’m a nervous wreck about tonight. Meeting Nicholas’s family at the gala was one thing, but meeting in their home at a family dinner is completely different. It feels so much more personal—
“Are you okay?” Nicholas pulls me from my thoughts.
“Fine.”
“Are you nervous?”
“Yes.”
“Why? You’ve met my family before.”
“But not like this. This is… different. At the gala, there were so many other people there or things going on to distract everyone. This feels… more personal.”
“You have nothing to worry about, Kenzie. My mother already loves you –“
“I doubt that–she barely knows me. We texted a few times and talked at your apartment for a few minutes, but that was pretty much it.”
“Trust me, my mother likes you.”
“You don’t know that.”
“Kenzie.” He takes a deep breath and runs his hands through his hair before continuing. “Do you want to know how I know my mother likes you?” I nod. “She lets you call her Vivienne—“
“She told me—“
“I know she did. But… she’s never let… Harper call her by her name,” I can hear the disgust in his voice as he says Harper’s name. “She was always Mrs. or Dr. Parker to her. My mother never texted her, never talked to her except to be polite, and pretty much hated her.”
“Oh.”
“Yeah, oh. So, just trust me, my mother likes you. If you’ve won her over, you’ve won over my dad by default. Cara loves everyone, and Austin... well, Austin will do anything to avoid confrontation, so you don’t have to worry about it.”
“Is there anything I should know about for tonight?”
“I don’t think so. Just be yourself.”
“Sir, ma’am… we have arrived,” Carter alerts us. I have no idea how long we’ve been parked in the driveway, but I’m thankful for these few minutes.
“You ready?” Nicholas asks.
“Yes,” I say, trying to force some confidence in my voice.
Although we were here for the gala, the house looks completely different without all the lights and press around it. Nicholas opens the door and leads me into the very large foyer, where he takes my jacket and purse to hang them with his own in the closet. I immediately look up–the ceiling above us is so high it almost makes me dizzy. There’s a beautiful chandelier above and a curved stairway to our left.
“Nicholas! Kenzie! I thought I heard the door open.” Vivienne rushes in to greet us, first hugging Nicholas and then me.
“Vivienne, it’s nice to see you again,” I say.
“I’m so glad that you could make it tonight, Kenzie! I’ve been after Nicholas to bring you by for two weeks now; I’m glad your plans changed and you are able to join us.”
“I’m glad it all worked out,” I reply, not entirely sure what Nicholas has told, her so I play along.
“Come, everyone’s in the great room.” She leads us to a large room just off the foyer where Nicholas’s dad, Austin and Cara are all talking.
“Nicholas!” Cara runs toward him and practically jumps into his arms to hug him.
“Cara!” he chuckles at her reaction.
“Kenzie! I’m so happy you could come!” She hugs me next before taking my hand, to lead me to the couch.
“Kenzie, it’s nice of you to join us for dinner tonight,” Nicholas’s dad says.
“Thank you for inviting me, Mr. Parker.”
“Please, it’s Theodore; I’m only Mr. Parker at work.”
“Kenzie, I love your dress! Where did you get it? Oh! Better yet, can you take me there? Are you going to the dinner next weekend? If so, maybe we can go shopping together this week?” Cara fires off tons of questions, catching me off guard.
“Cara, give the poor girl a minute to think,” Austin warns as he smiles at me.
“Um… I think we’re going to that dinner,” I glance at Nicholas, who nods in indication that we are. “I haven’t had a chance to shop for a dress yet, so if you want, I’d love to go shopping with you for one.”
“Fantastic! I’m so excited! When can you go? Do you work every day this week?”
“How about Wednesday? I work a few hours in the morning but by early afternoon I should be free.”
“Perfect! I can’t wait!”
I try to catch Nicholas’s eye to see if I did the right thing by agreeing to shop with her, but he doesn’t seem to notice me. I hope he doesn’t get mad that I’m spending time with Cara; she caught me completely off guard. I couldn’t figure out a way to say no without sounding rude; agreeing just seemed like the appropriate response.
“Dinner is ready,” Vivienne announces a few minutes later.
Nicholas takes my hand as we stand up before leading me into the beautiful dining room. The long table is set up like something out of a magazine, with wonderful smelling dishes around a floral centerpiece. Like the perfect gentleman he is, Nicholas pulls my chair out for me, then gently pushes it in before taking his seat next to me.
“You’re doing fine, stop worrying,” he whispers and puts his hand on my knee, which I hadn’t realized was shaking until that moment. His hand is hot against my cool skin; I can feel my body temperature rising just from his touch. I don’t know if he notices because he quickly removes his hand a few seconds later.
“So Kenzie, how’s the bakery?” Theodore asks.
“It’s good. It seems as if the owner has found a seller for the bakery—“
“She did?” Nicholas asks, surprised.
“Yes, Ginny just told me about it this morning.” I forgot to mention it when we spoke on the ride over here.
“Tell me it’s not one of those chain places,” Vivienne pleads.
“I don’t think so. Ginny said that she had to sign something that prevents her from telling anyone specific details about the sale until a certain date—“
“That’s fairly common, Kenzie, I don’t think it’s anything you need to worry about,” Nicholas says.
“She did say that the owners have agreed to keep on all staff who have had solid performance reviews for at least six months following the date of the announcement,” I explain.
“That’s really good news,” Nicholas says.
“I’m sure you must be relieved,” Vivienne adds.
“I am. I hope the new owners keep the feel of the bakery; Ginny has a lot of personal connections with so many of the customers who come in, so it would be a shame to lose that.”
“I hope they keep the same recipes!” Cara exclaims.
“I second that,” Austin agrees.
“I’ve signed too many business deals over their muffins to have them change their recipe now,” Nicholas chuckles. “Melody manages to always know exactly what to order for my meetings.”
The food is passed around as conversation flows easily amongst everyone. I sit back and watch what is going
on around me. I don’t know that I’ve ever seen a family dinner like this one. It’s not only Theodore and Vivienne asking questions about their children’s lives, but it’s Cara, Austin, and Nicholas that seem to know everything that is going on with each other. It amazes me how close everyone is… not just close in the sense that they are family but that they actually care about what is happening with each other.
“Would you like some wine?” Nicholas asks.
“Yes, please.”
“White or red?”
“White, thank you.”
Nicholas puts his hand on my shoulder, squeezing it gently before he walks into the kitchen. I continue to just watch everyone; interestingly, I don’t feel uncomfortable like I expected to. Every so often, someone asks me a question, making sure like I don’t feel like an outsider. Nicholas comes back to the table a few minutes later, handing me a glass of wine before draping his arm over my shoulders as he sits down.
Out of the corner of my eye, I see Vivienne watching us and smiling; for the first time since Nicholas and I started this arrangement, I feel guilty for deceiving everyone. Well, maybe not everyone—I don’t feel guilty for deceiving the press so they leave Nicholas alone and he can focus on his company. I think I just feel guilty about deceiving Nicholas’s family since they think we are an actual couple like everyone else does. I understand why he didn’t want to tell anyone else about our arrangement but…
“How about we move into the great room? Dessert will be ready in a few minutes—I’ll bring it in for everyone in there,” Vivienne suggests.
“Would you like another glass of wine?” Nicholas asks.
“No, thank you,” I quickly answer.
“Anyone else need another drink while I’m in the kitchen?” Nicholas asks everyone.
“I’ll help you.” Austin jumps up.
“I’d like another glass,” Cara requests.
“I’ll have another beer,” Theodore adds.
“You sure you don’t need anything, Kenzie?” Austin asks.
“I’m good, thanks,” I answer.
Theodore and Cara immediately engage in conversation about a fashion design class that Cara is currently taking. I gather from the conversation that she has had a difficult time deciding what she wants to do with her life. I envy her; her parents seem to support her as she takes different classes rather than pushing her in a certain direction or worse, not supporting her education at all. I’m surprised that Theodore seems genuinely interested in Cara’s description in her class the other day despite the fact that I’m sure he could care less about fashion design.
A couple of hours and far too much delicious dessert later, Nicholas and I say our goodbyes to his family. I’ve exchanged phone numbers with Cara, having confirmed our shopping plans later this week for next weekend’s charity dinner.
Austin, Nicholas, and Theodore discussed an upcoming baseball game that they are going to in a few weeks. This led to Vivienne suggesting I join her and Cara for a girl’s day at the spa when the guys go to the game. I give a non-committal answer, promising to check my schedule, not because I don’t want to spend the day at a spa (who wouldn’t?) but because I don’t know how Nicholas wants me to respond. We hadn’t discussed our arrangement overlapping with his family life or how he would feel about me spending time alone with them. I’ve already agreed to shop with Cara later this week, so I don’t want to commit to anything else without talking with Nicholas first. Vivienne accepts my answer without blinking an eye.
“I told you that you had no reason to worry,” Nicholas says as Carter pulls away.
“It went much better than I thought it would,” I admit.
“Can I ask you something?” he requests after a few minutes of silence.
“Okay, sure.” I’m not sure what to think about the uncertainty I hear in his voice.
“How come you don’t drink? I mean, you drink, of course, but I don’t think I’ve ever seen you have more than one drink when we’ve gone out. Do you not like to drink?”
“It’s not that,” I sigh, realizing that Nicholas is right—I haven’t had more than one drink of alcohol anytime we have been out together. “I hadn’t realized that… I guess old habits die hard.”
“What do you mean? Did you… do you have a problem with alcohol?”
“No! Gosh, no. I’ve only ever been drunk once and that was freshman year in college. I drank way too much at a fraternity party and spent the rest of the night with my head over the toilet bowl. That was the last time I ever got drunk.”
“Then why only have one drink?”
“I…” UGH! I can’t imagine what Nicholas will think when I tell him the real reason I limit myself to one drink. Unfortunately, I can’t come up with a good enough lie, and even if I could, after how open he was with me on the boat, I don’t know that I want to lie to him. “It was one of the rules.”
“Rules?”
“My ex… Image was important to him; he believed I was a direct reflection on him. He would… pick out my outfits, order my food and basically control everything when we went out. There were a lot of rules: what I could talk about, who I could talk to, and how much I could drink. Even though I had never been drunk around him, I was only ever allowed to have one drink when we were out.”
“Kenzie… I don’t know what to say. You don’t seem like the person who would just let someone control their life like that. I mean—“
“No, I get it. Trust me, I’m not the person I was when I met him. I’ve grown a lot in the last two and a half years. I’ve learned a lot about myself and about the person I was back then. Today? No, I wouldn’t let someone control as much of my life as he did. This… this arrangement with Bridget? I had to think long and hard about it, not only of my safety but because to a degree I knew I would give up some control. I knew there was a chance that I could be with someone that would pick out my clothing for events or who would tell me what I can and can’t talk about or to whom. But, to me I was willing to pay that price, because it was only over a very small part of my life. It was no different in my mind than wearing a uniform to work. I’ll never go back to that type of control; I will never allow someone to control my every move the way he did.”
“You deserve so much better than that, Kenzie. I hope you realize that.”
“I don’t know what I deserve… but I know that I don’t want what I had.”
“Someone really did a number on you growing up, didn’t they?”
“What do you mean?”
“You don’t see… you don’t see yourself.”
“Sure I do—“
“You don’t, Kenzie. If you don’t recognize that you deserve better than that asshole, you don’t see the wonderful person you really are.”
“I may not know what I deserve, Nicholas, but I know without a shadow of a doubt that history will never repeat itself. I will never allow someone to control my life like he did or treat me the way he did.”
“I’m glad, really I am. I just wish… you could see… who you are,” Nicholas sighs and runs his hands through his hair. “Who told you that you didn’t deserve any better than that asshole growing up? Who led you to believe that someone wouldn’t love you?”
“I… I… I don’t want to talk about this anymore,” I panic, trying to push away the memories that are threatening to take over. “Please… leave it alone, Nicholas. My childhood wasn’t a happy one: I didn’t grow up in a nice house with loving parents who cared about what I did every day. Just forget about it.”
Fighting the tears that are threatening to spill out, I turn away from Nicholas and stare out the window. I can feel him watching me, but I don’t turn back. It’s bad enough that he knows even a little about my ex; he doesn’t need to know everything else too. I can’t open myself up to him, tell him everything, when he has the power to end our arrangement and walk out of my life at any moment.
The elevator ride to the floor of my apartment is quiet. I’m not mad at Nicholas for asking
about my childhood, but I just didn’t expect him to be able to read me so easily. It’s as if he could see right through me: as if he could see parts of me that even I can’t see. I don’t know why he cares whether or not I think I deserve better than my ex. Isn’t it enough that I swore I would never end up with someone like that again?
“Kenzie, I’m sorry. I overstepped and I didn’t mean to upset you,” Nicholas apologizes as we stand awkwardly at the door to my apartment.
“It’s not you, it’s me. There are certain times of my life that I just don’t like talking about—“
“I get it, really I do.”
“Thank you for inviting me to dinner tonight, I had a nice time with your family,” I desperately need to change the subject before things become even more uncomfortable out here.
“Thank you for coming. I know my parents were glad you came as well. I believe Bridget has been in touch about this week?”
“Yes, the business dinner and then the charity dinner over the weekend.”
“I’ll have to check with Melody, but I think there is something next week too.”
“Sure, no problem.”
“Good night, Kenzie, and again I’m sorry that I overstepped earlier; I didn’t mean to upset you.”
Before I can respond, Nicholas surprises me by kissing me… on the lips this time. I’m caught so off guard, I just stand there trying to make sense of the fact that his soft lips are against mine. I’m just about to wrap my arms around him when he pulls back from me. He places one last quick kiss on my lips before turning around to head to the elevator where Carter awaits. With a heated face, I unlock the apartment door and turn off the alarm.
I put my stuff down, take a quick shower and get ready for bed. Surprisingly, sleep quickly finds me, although I have to force myself not to keep thinking about how Nicholas’s lips felt against mine or to think about why he kissed me tonight.
Flashback
“You’re such a fucking liar! I know you were with him today; I know that’s why you’re late!”
The Arrangement Duet Box Set Page 28