Needing to Love You (Houston's Finest #2)

by Erin Rylie

  He smiled imagining her reaction when he told her he’d be showering in his birthday suit today. After the night he’d accidentally taken too many pills, he’d been careful about his intake. Carlos took one pill in the morning to dull the pain and two at night before bed. He was making progress, but at night he was still plagued with doubts. Things were moving so fucking slowly, and he was itching to get back to work. If he stayed out much longer, they’d be giving Rafe a temporary partner. What if they ended up replacing him? Alone in bed, he needed the numb oblivion the pills offered him.

  Taking his morning pill and pushing all negative thoughts from his mind, Carlos walked down the hallway in the direction of the kitchen. As he got closer, he heard the bass of a slow, sensuous song playing. Carlos walked slowly through the living room, the music getting louder the closer he got to the kitchen entrance. When he reached his destination, he leaned against the wall and took in the sight before him without saying a word.

  Kelsey was standing in front of the stove cooking something. Her long hair was unbound and hung in waves down her back, and she was clad in a big T-shirt and running shorts. Carlos was pleased to note that the shirt she was wearing was one she’d stolen from him. He couldn’t contain the surge of pride he felt seeing her dressed in his clothes. Her hips were moving side to side to the beat as she sang the lyrics quietly.

  Fuck, she’s gorgeous.

  She was made for him. She was just the right height to match his 6’3” frame, and while she was willowy, she had a fantastic ass—his real weakness. He had always been an ass man, and Kelsey’s gave him ideas. When she bent over to check something on the stove, still wiggling her butt to the music, he bit back a groan and shifted the erection in his shorts. The things he wanted to do to this woman would make Christian Grey fucking blush. Their one night together had been full of some of the most passionate, rough sex he’d had in his entire life. No sexual encounter since had lived up to those hours with Kelsey, and he had a feeling none ever would.

  He was broken from his quiet observation of his dream woman by the lyrics of the song she was listening to. “If I keep my eyes closed he looks just like you.”

  What. The. Fuck. She better not be fucking some other guy and thinking of me.

  Rationally, Carlos knew that it was just a song, but he couldn’t contain the gut-clenching rage he felt at the thought of Kelsey with another man. He sure as fuck wasn’t a nun, and it had been just about a full year since they’d hooked up, but he couldn’t control his caveman thoughts. He wanted to be the only one making her moan.

  He hadn’t even realized he was moving until he’d gotten to the stove and gripped Kelsey by the hips. She jumped and spun around, and he took advantage of her momentum, pushing her against the counter. With his hands still on her hips, he leaned down to rub his nose along the curve of her neck. Her breathing stuttered, but she didn’t utter a single word. Clearly he’d taken her by surprise—Kelsey was rarely speechless.

  He nipped her ear with his teeth, forcing a small moan from her, before whispering directly in her ear, his lips caressing its shell, “Why are you listening to this song, Kelsey? Are you thinking about me while some other piece of shit fucks you?”

  Carlos knew he was being irrational; he could hear the jealousy in his own voice. He couldn’t pull himself away though. The thought of Kelsey with anyone else made him physically sick. She’d turned him down more times than he could count at this point, but there was no way she could deny the chemistry between them. Her chest was pressed to his and he could feel the pounding of her heart, the press of her peaked nipples against him.

  She still hadn’t responded to him, but her hands had found his shoulders, her nails biting into his skin through his thin shirt. Words were pouring from his lips now without thought. “Do you, Kelsey? Do you think about how fucking good it was with me? I bet you imagine how fucking delicious my pierced cock felt rubbing your g-spot. Maybe you think about my tongue on your clit, about how good it felt to ride my face.”

  Her breaths were coming in pants now and Carlos was hard as a fucking rock in his shorts. He ground his erection into her, wanting her to feel what she did to him. She moaned loudly and the thin shred of control he had snapped. Pulling away from her ear, he slammed his lips down on hers. His dream was still fresh in his mind and pure jealousy was controlling his actions now.

  He ran his tongue along the seam of her lips and she opened, allowing him entrance. He swept his tongue into her mouth and devoured her. He knew there was nothing tame in his kiss—it was a claiming. He pulled her hips into him harder as he continued to kiss her and almost came in his pants at the breathy moan she released into his mouth. He ate the sound and smoothed his hands around her hips to grip her ass. He pulled up the hem of the T-shirt and palmed the swell of her ass with both hands. As he squeezed, he fingered the edges of the shorts she was wearing, wishing they were in a heap on the floor.

  Fuck, I’ve missed this.

  The need to taste her pussy was overwhelming and he found he couldn’t resist the temptation. He picked Kelsey up and slid her delectable ass onto the counter. He pulled away from her lips and was pleased to note that they were swollen from his kiss. Her eyes were glazed and her cheeks were flushed. It was a heady feeling, knowing he was the one who’d done that to her.

  “Don’t. Fucking. Move.”

  The last thing he wanted was for the haze she was in to shatter. Quickly, he grabbed a chair from the kitchen table and pushed it over to the kitchen counter. It was the perfect height for what he had planned. Carlos seated himself in the chair and scooted it closer to Kelsey. When he was as close as he could get, he slid her shorts down her legs, throwing them over his shoulder, before he grabbed one of her legs and hiked it over his shoulder. He heard Kelsey suck in a breath as she realized what he planned to do, and he looked up to meet her gaze. Before proceeding, he wanted to be completely sure she wanted this. Seeing the unspoken question in Carlos’s eyes, Kelsey gave him a nod and dug the heel of her foot into his shoulder, pulling him closer.

  He leaned forward and swiped his tongue firmly up her slit through the thin material of her underwear. He repeated the action until she was squirming on the counter.

  “Carlos,” she breathed, “more. Give me more.”

  Never one to deny a lady’s request, he pulled her underwear aside with one hand and sucked her clit into his mouth in one smooth motion. When she screamed his name, he thrust one finger into her wet heat. His cock jerked in his shorts, demanding attention. With his free hand, he reached into his shorts and pulled his erection out.

  Thank fuck for loose athletic shorts.

  As he stroked his dick, he continued to eat Kelsey’s pussy with abandon. Like his kisses, this was not a gentle taking. He thrust another finger into her and curled his fingers, making her shudder as he alternated between sucking on and licking her clit. As he approached his own orgasm, he lost all semblance of finesse.

  “You taste so fucking good, Kels. Fuck, you’re the most delicious thing I’ve ever had on my tongue.”

  She moaned his name and began to move her hips, riding his tongue and face. Her hips stuttered, and Carlos felt her clench around his fingers. He added a third finger and bit down lightly on her clit.

  Kelsey’s reaction was instantaneous. She screamed his name as her orgasm washed over her. Her back arched and her body started to shake. When her thighs clenched around his ears, he released his own moan and came in his hand.

  Carlos sat back in the kitchen chair and tried to catch his breath. Kelsey came down from her post-orgasmic haze faster than he did and scooted away from him on the counter. When she was far enough away to jump down without touching him, she set her feet on the floor and pulled her underwear back into place.

  He knew what she would say before the words even left her mouth. “I can’t do this with you, Carlos. I just...can’t.” She left the kitchen like it was on fire, not once looking back at him.

  Chapter Ten
<
br />   Kelsey paced the bathroom, wringing her hands. What the hell just happened? She’d known that she still had feelings for Carlos, but he’d mentioned before that he wanted more than a casual relationship from her. She just couldn’t give him what he needed. How could she explain to him that she wasn’t capable of long-term love? The last thing she ever wanted to do was hurt Carlos. Plus, he needed to work on himself right now. He was still in physical therapy but suffered from hip and leg pain every day. His physical therapist had apparently warned him that due to the location of his injury, both would be in quite a bit of pain throughout the recovery process. Though she couldn’t prove it, she still had a sneaking suspicion that he was taking more than the prescribed dosage of painkillers.

  What a fucking mess.

  Walking over to the sink, Kelsey washed her face with cold water and tried to figure out what her next move should be. It wasn’t like she could avoid Carlos; he lived here. She was listing her options when she smelled something burning and realized she’d left food on the stove. She rushed from the bathroom to the kitchen and found the pan on the stove smoking and Carlos sitting at the kitchen table with a smug smirk on his face.

  “Forget something, did ya?”

  Kelsey huffed and walked to the stove, pulling the burnt remains of her eggs from the hot stovetop and placing the pan in the sink.

  “You couldn’t have turned off the heat, Carlos?”

  He shrugged. “I could have, but I knew that if I let it burn you’d have to come back in here and talk to me.”

  She turned away from him and busied herself scrubbing the near-ruined pan. “We don’t have anything to talk about. I already told you, I can’t do this.”

  “Yes,” he growled. “You’ve made that perfectly clear. What you haven’t explained to me though is why. I think you know how I feel about you, Kelsey. You know I want to be with you, and what just happened proves that you want to be with me too. So what the fuck is going on?”

  “What just happened proves that I want to fuck you, nothing more.”

  She heard him walk across the kitchen, his steps slow. When his hand circled her wrist she shivered, remembering what he’d just used his hands to do. Carlos turned her to face him and tipped her chin up with his hand. His expression was tense, his mouth clenched in anger, but when she looked into his eyes she saw the hurt there.

  “Now you’re just lying to me, Kelsey. It’s really starting to piss me off.”

  She did her best to keep her face clear of emotions as she returned his glare. If she gave an inch he’d sweet talk her into something that would end with him hurt. She knew that if she replied her voice would betray her emotions. She wanted to say whatever she could to relieve the pain she knew she was causing him. How could she get him to understand that being with her would only lead to heartbreak? She couldn’t even stay in love with her own damn husband, the man she had a fucking child with. Didn’t Carlos understand she was broken?

  When she didn’t respond, Carlos searched her face. Whatever he found in her expression seemed to satisfy him. “I get that this might be too much too fast. Me living here complicates things as well. I’m going to give you time to think, but know this, Kelsey: this is going to happen. You and I would be incredible together, absolute perfection.”

  Carlos didn’t give her time to respond before he left the kitchen, the sound of his door clicking shut reaching her ears a moment later. Her entire body tingled from his touch, and she knew she was in deep shit.

  That afternoon Kelsey was having an increasingly difficult time focusing on work. At one point, she had asked a customer to repeat their entire story because she hadn’t managed to hear a single one of his complaints about the service he received. Every time she tried to concentrate on the task at hand, she found herself thinking of Carlos.

  This is going to happen. The words gave her chills. He was so sure that she was what he wanted, but he didn’t know how messed up she was. She didn’t want to hurt him, but she also couldn’t lie and say she didn’t want to be with him. Picturing him in bed with her every morning, taking her on dates, watching movies with her and James—it just felt right. She had to admit that he fit in well with her little family.

  Her own issues aside, she couldn’t just ignore her suspicions about his pill use. She hadn’t seen him visibly high again, but last week he’d asked her to pick up another prescription for him. When she asked why he needed one so soon, he claimed he’d dropped them by mistake. Injury aside, Carlos was not a clumsy man, and she just couldn’t picture it.

  Kelsey pulled herself from her thoughts, shaking her head and focusing on her work. She had one more caller to get through before Kyle brought James home. She and her little man were heading to Rafe and Sophie’s so that James could play with Ella. He was enamored with the adorable pudgy baby, always wanting to touch her cheek and asking Kelsey if he could hold her.

  Unfortunately for her, Kelsey’s final call of the day was an elderly woman who kept getting sidetracked during their call. She was currently describing her grandson’s recent wedding in great detail, causing Kelsey’s mind to drift further. She immediately thought of the morning after her one-night stand with Carlos.

  Kelsey woke up to light kisses trailing up her neck and light nips on her skin followed by Carlos’s soothing tongue. His hands were running up and down her sides, lingering at her hips and breasts. She kept her eyes closed, enjoying the attention, but moaned to let Carlos know she was awake. She was still sore from last night’s activities and had barely gotten any sleep. She shouldn’t have wanted him again, but she couldn’t deny the lust pooling low in her belly.

  When Carlos was done lavishing Kelsey’s neck with attention, he began planting light kisses on her face—her cheeks, her forehead, her eyelids, and finally the corner of her mouth. She felt his smile against his mouth as he deepened the kiss, turning something sweet into a deep, slow exploration. Fuck, the way he made her feel was indescribable. She had never thought of herself as sexy, but with Carlos’s hands on her body, she felt like a goddess.

  When Carlos pulled his lips away from hers, she groaned in protest, finally opening her eyes. His face was inches above hers and he was giving her a smile that she was starting to think was just for her. She’d been watching him the previous night and had noticed that he was almost always smiling. There was the genuine smile that he reserved for his friends—the one that had crossed his face when he’d originally spotted Sophie at the bar. He had a more reserved, but no less genuine smile that he gave to strangers, such as the waitress at the bar or any of the numerous women who’d approached him last night. Almost nothing could compete with the panty-melting smirk she’d seen on more than one occasion last night as he’d coaxed her into one more round.

  The smile he was giving her now, though? It was her smile. His eyes crinkled slightly at the corner, and his lip was tugged up into a half grin. It was the look in his eyes that made this particular smile special. He looked at her like she was the only woman in the world. It was intoxicating. He gently brushed a few locks of hair back from her face and leaned down to kiss her nose.

  “So when are you letting me take you out on a real date?”

  Kelsey tensed up immediately, and she could feel the smile leave her face. “Carlos, my divorce isn’t final. I’m in no place to date anyone.”

  He shrugged, nonplused. “Okay, we can wait until your divorce is finalized.”

  “I-I don’t think that’s a good idea. I just don’t know that I want to date seriously again, ever. If I couldn’t make my marriage work, I can’t make anything work.”

  Hurt flashed across Carlos’s face briefly before determination settled into his features. “We’ll see about that, Kelsey. For now—” That wicked grin returned. “—sit on my face, I need to taste you again before I leave.”

  “Hello? Is anyone there? HELLO?”

  The loud voice in her headset shattered the memory, pulling Kelsey’s attention back to work.

  S
hit, I have no clue what this woman is talking about.

  “I apologize ma’am, I’m here. I’m so sorry for any inconvenience you experienced during your stay with us and am issuing a ten-thousand-point credit to your account. Again, please accept my sincere apologies.”

  She listened to the customer for a few more minutes, made a note of the call in her rewards profile, and added the points to her account before closing her laptop for the day. Kelsey was standing from her desk and stretching when she heard the front door open. The quick pitter-patter of footsteps through the house brought a smile to her mouth before her son came rushing into the room.

  “Mommy!” her son exclaimed, throwing his arms up so that she could pick him up and hug him. “Daddy and I went to the zoo today and we fed the giraffes. They ate lettuce out of my hand, and their tongues were purple. Did you know giraffes have purple tongues, Mommy? Can I have a purple tongue? We could use markers to color it.”

  Kelsey laughed, “Giraffes have purple tongues because they need the extra melanin to keep them from getting sunburned. How about instead of using markers to color your tongue purple, we pick up some Jolly Ranchers. I’ll let you eat three of them if you eat all of your dinner tonight, and your tongue will be purple. Sound good, buddy?”

  Kyle walked into the room laughing and holding a giant stuffed giraffe. “Sounds like you two have an exciting evening ahead of you.”

  James wriggled out of Kelsey’s arms and walked over to Kyle, putting his hands out for his new toy. “Daddy, you aren’t staying to turn your tongue purple? Don’t you wanna have more melon like giraffes?”