Once Upon a Cowboy Christmas--A River Ranch Novel

by Soraya Lane

  “Is everything okay?” she asked. “Does Walter need me?”

  Cody shook his head. “No, the old man’s fine.”

  He stared at her, his eyes intense, the desire in his gaze more than evident. A shiver ran through her, and she stepped back to let him in, not about to let him freeze out there in the snow. She shut the door.

  “Jess,” Lexi said, putting the phone back up to her ear. “Do you mind if I give you a call back tomorrow? It looks like I have to go over and check on Walter.”

  They said goodbye, and she took a long, slow breath before turning around, feeling bad for lying to her friend to get her off the phone. Cody was sitting on the sofa, in almost the exact place she’d been sitting. She’d have thought he’d look less intimidating sitting instead of standing, but the way he was tracking her with his gaze would have been terrifying however he was positioned.

  “Is everything okay?” she asked.

  “Yes.”

  When he didn’t offer more she wondered if he was as nervous as she was. But then he was the one who’d turned up unannounced.

  “Can I get you a wine?” she asked, already in the tiny kitchen and rummaging for a glass. She took one out, and when she turned back around he was standing just a few feet from her.

  “Lexi, we need to talk.”

  She poured the wine even though he hadn’t answered then slid it across the small counter so she didn’t have to move too close to him. Then she moved back out to the sofa and collected her own glass. She sat on the chair rather than the sofa, not wanting him to sit down beside her.

  “About earlier,” he started.

  “I know, seeing your dad like that—”

  “I’m not talking about my dad.” His voice was deep and raspy.

  “Oh.” She hadn’t been expecting that.

  Cody sat down, the wine glass in his hand looking completely out of place for a man who usually held a beer bottle or a tumbler of whiskey.

  “I know you might not believe me,” he said, leaning forward, elbows on thighs as he stared into her eyes. She wished he wouldn’t, because he was impossible to look away from when he did that. “But I’m sorry. I’m sorry for what I’ve put you through with this whole land development deal.”

  She listened, wanting to hate him so badly but finding it impossible to. It didn’t seem that many years ago that she’d loved the man more than anything else in the world, and however angry she was with him, she could never actually hate him.

  “Did you truly write me a letter?” she asked, suddenly needing to know. “All those years ago?”

  “Yes,” he said. “Of course I did! Why are you even asking me?”

  She sighed. “I just…” Lexi breathed deeply. “You know what, it doesn’t matter.”

  He watched her so intently and she lifted her gaze, deciding she needed to be brave.

  “Cody, would you have truly gone ahead with this deal, if you’d known how badly it would have affected me?” she asked. “If you’d known my mom was there?”

  “The truth is, if you’d called me out of the blue and pleaded with me not to go ahead, I wouldn’t have listened. I’d have tried to placate you, but just like I always end up doing, I’d have passed you off to an assistant.” He took a sip of wine. “It’s not pretty, but it’s the truth.”

  She bristled at the thought he wouldn’t have listened to her, but they’d parted a long time ago, and she could only imagine how many girlfriends he’d had since.

  “And now?”

  He shifted his weight again, leaning forward. “And now I’m in a goddamn pickle, that’s what I’m in.”

  She laughed then, just a giggle to start with that erupted into something a whole lot louder, and Cody was laughing along with her, his eyes bright when they both finally fell silent again.

  “What are you going to do about this pickle then?” she asked, feeling more relaxed than she had in a long while.

  “I’m working on it,” he replied, his voice lower this time, and she could tell he meant it. “I’m trying to come up with a solution, but I wasn’t lying when I said someone else would have jumped on this deal if I hadn’t. If I pull out, then I’ll only be delaying the inevitable for you, and it’s bad business to hold it like it is long term. I can’t put my company in financial jeopardy just because I’m empathetic to a situation.”

  Her ears pricked at the word empathetic. At least he was starting to show that he had a heart.

  “Can I ask one more question?”

  He smiled. “Sure.”

  “Was I right when I suggested that envelopes full of cash were the reason for the change in the land zoning?” she asked, hesitantly, hoping she hadn’t slandered him in front of a reporter. “Or was that completely out of left field?”

  He paused long enough that she knew she wasn’t entirely wrong, only she wasn’t sure if it was relief or anger she was feeling more.

  “Look, I’m not corrupt, if that’s what you’re asking,” he said. “Did I make a generous donation entirely aboveboard to the local sports center? Yes, absolutely I did. And I made sure the mayor was aware of it. But I also do that publically, so the information is available to everyone. So to answer your question, the money is clean and there are no secret envelopes.”

  “It’s just business, right?” she muttered.

  “Yeah, it is. But just because I care about my bottom line doesn’t mean I don’t feel like an asshole for what I’m doing to you. For what I’m doing to all those people.”

  She wasn’t sure she believed him.

  “I promise you that I’ll try to make this right. I just need you to trust me.”

  Lexi stifled a sigh. It shouldn’t have been a hard request, but part of her just didn’t trust him.

  “Is there anything else you want to ask me?” Cody looked like he was about to get up, about to push up to his feet and walk straight back out the door if she didn’t keep him talking, and for some reason she didn’t want him to go yet.

  “Your dad told me that we needed to stop fighting,” she said. “Apparently we’re ruining Christmas.”

  He chuckled. “Yeah, he told me the same thing.”

  “I need to know if you ever really loved me, Cody,” she asked, lifting her glass and draining the rest of the wine from it. When she looked up, his eyes were locked on hers again. “I know it was a long time ago, but I just want to know if it was for real.”

  He dropped to his knees then, so close as he took the glass from her hand and held on to her palms, staring into her eyes with such intensity she could hardly stand to return his gaze.

  “Yes,” he whispered. “I loved you with all my goddamn heart, Lexi, but when I left here, it was like I just blocked everything out. It was like I put my old life on pause and just started a new one. It’s almost like I can’t remember that part of my past, like I just left and erased part of my history.”

  “Mia said before, when I overheard—”

  “I left everyone, Lexi; she was right and I’ve had to live with that feeling for the past decade,” he said. “It wasn’t you, Lex, it was never you. I just felt so powerless, such a complete fuck-up that I couldn’t deal with everything, and it was easier to run and just start over.”

  She pulled one of her hands from his and touched his face, running her fingertips down his smooth cheek and hovering when she reached his jaw. Hours ago she’d hated him with all her heart, and now she was thawing all over again, falling into the web that was Cody Ford. Shivering with anticipation, she recalled the sight of him stripping his shirt off at the door only a few days earlier, unbuttoning and discarding it, and giving her an eyeful of his golden-brown, smooth skin and muscled arms and chest. They might be feuding right now, but there had been nothing at odds when they’d spent the night together earlier in the week, and her body seemed to remember it. Every wicked, hard, delicious inch of it.

  “I hate you, Cody,” she whispered. “I hate that you left me, I hate what you’re doing here, I hate everyth
ing about this.” She just didn’t hate his body. Or the way her own body trembled with anticipation at what was to come.

  He leaned in closer, his mouth inches from hers as he lifted a hand and stroked down her hair, making her want to moan, making her remember just how good it had been with him the other night.

  His mouth hovered, waiting for her, but she didn’t close the gap.

  “Promise me,” she whispered. “Promise me you’ll do something to help all those people.”

  His gaze dropped to her mouth. “I promise.”

  “Well, what are you waiting for then?”

  The words had barely come out of her mouth before Cody’s lips collided with hers, and somehow she was back in the web of her former lover turned enemy. And kissing had never, ever felt so good.

  * * *

  Cody hadn’t come over to kiss Lexi. Or maybe he had. Ever since he’d seen that fire in her eyes today he’d wanted to kiss the snarl off her face and see that beautiful smile again and see her eyes light up, wanted to tell her what a damn jerk he’d been. And now here he was, in her living room, holding the woman he should never have let go.

  And he must really like her, because he’d never, ever adjusted his profit line for anyone.

  Her lips moved softly against his, pliable and warm, but tentatively as if she wasn’t sure. He didn’t push her, let her set the pace as he ran his hands over her shoulders and down her back, not putting any pressure on her as he stroked her.

  It was Lexi who moved closer, who reached for him and deepened their kiss, her tongue exploring now like it was their first kiss. He was still on his knees, lower than her, which gave her the power, and he had a feeling she liked it. Her fingers found the back of his head and suddenly she was pushing him forward, her legs parted as she tugged him forward. Cody loved the feel of her strong thighs on either side of him, and the little moan in her throat when he plucked at her bottom lip, teeth grazing her sensitive skin, made it almost impossible to control himself. He wanted to rip the buttons off her shirt until she was left wearing nothing, strip her down to her underwear and take her on the sofa.

  “We can’t,” she murmured as he attempted to get rid of her shirt.

  Cody ignored her, mouth slipping to her collarbone, tracing kisses across her skin.

  “Cody, stop,” she whispered.

  He raised his head. “Give me one good reason why,” he whispered, kissing her ear lobe before moving back to her lips.

  She kissed him back, slowly, groaning when she finally pulled away. “Harry,” she said, and with that one word, he backed off and slipped her shirt back up over her shoulder.

  Harry. How had he managed to forget she had a little boy who could walk in on them at any moment?

  “Upstairs?” he asked, hopeful.

  Lexi just gave him a look that managed to convey not a chance. He groaned and reached for her, drawing her in and indulging in one last slow, lingering kiss.

  “You promise I can trust you, to figure out a solution to this whole thing?” she whispered, her eyes so wide as she looked at him.

  “Yeah, I promise,” he said. “And it’s not just because of the bad PR.”

  She smiled and tipped her face a little, staring down at him. “I never thought we’d be in this position again,” she said. “Not like this. Never like this.”

  He grunted. “Me neither.”

  “Mommy?”

  Cody leapt back, connecting with the coffee table in his haste before landing with a thump on the sofa. He ran a hand through his hair and adjusted the front of his jeans.

  “Hey, little man,” Lexi cooed, shrugging her top back on her shoulder and giving him a raised-brow look as she rose.

  “Cody?” Harry mumbled.

  “Hey, buddy,” he said, clearing his throat and giving him a half wave.

  “Were you kissing Mommy?”

  “Kissing? Ahhh…” He looked to Lexi for support but she was just biting down on her lip, clearly trying not to laugh.

  Honesty was the best policy, right? “Yeah, I was. Is that okay?”

  Lexi did crack up laughing then, or more like she made a strange choking noise that made Harry look back at her.

  “I told you she didn’t hate you.”

  “Hate who?” Lexi asked.

  “Cody. He thought you hated him, but you don’t kiss people you hate, do you?”

  Now it was Lexi looking uncomfortable.

  “Come on, back up to bed with you,” she said, giving Harry a little push and turning him around. “I’ll be up in a minute.”

  Harry did as he was told, shuffling up the stairs, a soft toy trailing from his fingers and bumping on each step as he walked.

  “You were talking to Harry about me?” she whispered.

  “Hey, we had a lot of time to kill today,” he replied.

  “Goodnight, Cody,” she said, shaking her head before stepping in and grabbing a fistful of his shirt. She tugged him forward and kissed him, hard, biting his lip as she finished with a satisfied smirk.

  “What was that for?”

  “For talking to my boy about us without checking with me first.”

  Now it was him taking what he wanted, stepping into Lexi’s space and wrapping his arms around her. He gave her a little push forward, his palm flat to her lower back as he nudged her body against his, his other hand cupping the back of her head, thumb against her jaw as he held her in place. Cody kissed her softly, over and over again, his lips plucking against hers until she sighed against his mouth.

  “Merry Christmas, Lexi,” he murmured. “It’s been a long time since I’ve been happy to be home for the holidays.”

  She didn’t say anything, but as he stepped back he watched as her hand rose to her mouth, colliding with her lips, touching where his mouth had been. He took his jacket, shrugged into it and blew her one last kiss before heading out into the freezing cold.

  Something had changed. Not just between him and Lexi, but inside of him. Earlier that day he’d been so mad he’d almost left, had been so close to having the jet fuelled up and the pilot ready. But then he’d had a pull back to home, to the ranch, to trying to fix what he’d done instead of doing what he was best at doing—burying his head in the sand and doing a great impression of an ostrich.

  He braced himself, head down as he jogged carefully through the snow back to the main house. When he got there, he looked back at the lights on in Lexi’s apartment.

  He’d always loved his life, thought nothing could be any better than what he already had. But after glimpsing what he’d missed out on by leaving Lexi behind, he wasn’t so sure about that now.

  “Son, is that you?”

  He heard his father call out and went in to see him.

  “I thought you’d be sound asleep by now,” he said, finding his dad sitting at his desk, the lamps in the study putting out a warm glow and bathing the room in light.

  “I want to talk to you about Lexi.”

  “You do realize that you’ve never asked to talk to me about a woman before, right?” He chuckled to himself as he crossed to pour two glasses of whiskey. He knew his father wasn’t supposed to be drinking, but he also knew that without some indulgences, life would be pretty boring.

  “She’s special,” Walter said, smiling gratefully as he took the drink before taking a long, slow sip. “Damn that’s good.”

  “Couldn’t agree with you more.”

  He sprawled on the leather club sofa and spread one arm across the back, thrumming his fingers along the smooth finish.

  “Am I standing on your toes, Dad?” he asked, loving the wide-eyed look his father gave him in response. Damn, it was a night for firsts. He’d never managed to rattle his dad before. “You want her for yourself? Is that it?”

  “Oh for God’s sake, Cody, I could be her father, heck, maybe even her grandfather!”

  “I think grandfather is pushing it a little.”

  Walter sighed and swallowed the rest of the amber liquid in his
glass. “If I wasn’t on my deathbed, I’d give you a damn good run for your money, son. A girl like that doesn’t come along often.”

  “Ahhh, so you do like her.”

  “I more than goddamn like her,” he growled, and Cody raised a hand, accepting that their little banter was over. His dad was serious and he obviously had something to say.

  “I want her looked after, if anything happens to me,” Walter said. “There’s no need to change my will. I trust you son, even if you are at odds with her.”

  “What exactly are we talking about here?” Cody asked, leaning forward, his attention more than piqued.

  “I want her salary to continue for another six months after I pass away so she doesn’t have to take just any job that comes along, and I want whatever care her mother needs paid for, starting as soon as possible.”

  Cody grimaced. “You’re trying to buy my way out of my mess? You’re the one who taught me that business is never personal.”

  “And it’s not, because this has nothing to do with you.” His father rose, glass in hand, and when Cody jumped up to help him all he received was a fast frown in response and he knew to let him be. He watched as his father poured himself another short whiskey. “Lexi has given me dignity and allowed me to stay in my home,” his father continued. “She’s become a close friend to not only me, but to this entire family, and regardless of what you do, I want her mother taken care of. Am I understood?”

  “Yes, you’re understood,” Cody replied, catching his father’s eye when he turned. He could see a glint there, a steeliness he hadn’t expected. “Dad, is this to do with Mom?” he asked, lowering his voice this time.

  “Yes.”

  His dad sat down across from him, and Cody refused to look away even though he wanted to. He was a man now, not a boy, and he had to learn to confront his father’s mortality head on instead of pretending it didn’t exist.

  “We had access to the best of everything for your Mom,” Walter said in a low, shaky voice. “It didn’t help her in the end, but money was never an object. I just want Lexi to see her mother well cared for, that’s all.”