To Love a No Good Nigga

by Phoenix Williams

  Deftly, I unbuttoned his shorts, slipping hands into his boxers and coming in contact with heat and strength. Pre-cum lubricated my palm making my ministrations smoother, slicker. Moving my hands in a circular motion, I tightened my grip, wringing more pleasure from him. His moans intensified with each stroke fueling my need to please him as he always pleased me.

  Dropping to my knees, I tugged on his shorts and boxers until they were by his ankles. After quickly kissing the tip I wrapped my tongue around the head reveling in the taste. It was spicy, sweet, tangy, and as unique to Isaiah as his fingerprint. Opening my mouth as wide as I could, I dropped my head.

  Exhaling on the way down, inhaling on the way up as I swallowed inch after inch. Slipping the head down my throat, I buried my face in the base of his dick, flicking my tongue over his balls. Isaiah’s hands tangled and twisted in my hair as he tried in vain to pry my lips from his dick.

  Honey dripped from my pussy lips as I bobbed up and down on his chocolate stick. Firmly gripping his balls, I rolled them between my hands, smirking as his entire body tensed up. Yeah, my head game is tight.

  His hips bucked wildly as he screamed, “Jesus!”

  Loads of hot cream shot from the base of his dick to the back of my throat. I swallowed every drop but continued to suck. I slowed my suction from vigorous to subtle and ran my nails lightly over his balls but I wouldn’t release him.

  I could tell he never had a woman continue to suck him dry after he came by the deep groans pouring from his lips and intense shakes racking his muscular body. Not surprising, since most women thought their job is done after their man nuts. Definitely false!

  Releasing his dick from my lips, I gave him a saucy smile. “You okay, baby?”

  Running his hands through my hair, he smiled before answering, “Do you even have to ask after that?”

  Before I could answer, he picked me up and tried to run up towards the stairs, momentarily forgetting that his shorts were around his ankles, making us fall to the floor. Limbs intertwined, I looked down at him with a smile on my face.

  I stroked his face as laughter bubbled up from the pit of my stomach and poured from my lips. At that moment, there was no place I would have rather been, no one else I would have rather been with. Openness, trust, and honesty. His words rang in my head. Was I ready for that?

  Chapter 8

 

  “What’s with all the flowers? It looks like a gothic funeral in here.”

  For once, Robin wasn’t exaggerating. Every day for the last two months, without fail, a dozen black and red roses were delivered to either my house or my office.

  “Yeah, I know. Someone keeps sending them to me, but I’m not sure who. I thought it was Isaiah, but now I’m not so sure.” Moving a flower filled crystal vase out of the way, I made room for Robin to sit in front of my desk.

  Leaning forward to smell a black rose, Robin asked, “I think it’s one of your hoes. Have you told them or Isaiah yet?”

  “No, I haven’t told them yet.” Ignoring her gasp and her glare, I continued, “I wasn’t sure if this thing with Isaiah was going to pan out and I wanted to make sure before I let my hoes go. No big deal.”

  “No big deal? Girl, you’ve been with this man since May it is now October!! How long are you going to keep playing the field?”

  “I’m not playing the field! I’m covering my bases.”

  Shaking her head, she looked at me with sadness in her eyes. “I will never understand you, Sparrow. You have a man who wants to be with you and only you, yet you keep running from him. Yeah, you’re with him, technically, but you haven’t given yourself to him completely. You keep in contact with those man whores, all the while keeping him on the line.”

  “That’s not fair Robin. I’m just trying to…”

  “You’re just like Daddy!” she spat out, cutting me off.

  Deafening silence filled the room as angry tears swam in my eyes. My body shook with barely constrained rage. “I am nothing like Daddy,” I whispered.

  “You’re just like him Sparrow! The both of you run from love because you’re too afraid you’ll miss out on something better,” she paused to grasp my hands. “I love you Sparrow and I want to see you happy. I also want to see you safe. Whoever is sending you these flowers is clearly trying to send you a message. Take care of yourself.” She hugged me quickly before she left me in my office with my thoughts.

  Robin hadn’t told me anything that my conscious hadn’t whispered to me during lonely nights. The difference was hearing it aloud. Her accusations had sliced to the core, but the truth always hurt didn’t it? It was past time to be honest with Isaiah, my lovers, and more importantly with myself. As much I enjoyed my lovers and my sexual freedom, I craved Isaiah with everything inside me.

  “I love him.” The proclamation sprouted up from the bottom of my soul to my lips without much thought. I waited for the anxiety to set in, for it to make me want to vomit or run away somewhere far from Isaiah and the feelings he provoked. I was relieved when it never came. Instead, happiness to a degree that I had never felt before warmed me from the top of my head to the tips of my toes.

  Smiling broadly, I closed my eyes and took in a deep breath. I felt as if I had finally started living. I felt at peace. For the first time in my life, I knew what it felt like to want to put your faith and your trust in another human being.

  Openness, trust, and honesty. Those were the only things that Isaiah had ever asked of me and starting today he was going to get them. Just as soon as I made three very important phone calls.

  Chapter 9

  “Stop laughing at me girl! I’m confident enough in my manhood to say that I watch and enjoy Bad Girls Club and Basketball Wives.”

  Tears poured from my eyes as I laughed at Isaiah. He had come over to eat dinner and watch television with me which had become sort of a ritual over the past few weeks. I had yet to tell him about my stable of hoes or should I say my ex-hoes. I broke it off with them so I didn’t feel as if it was important to let him know yet. I knew that one day I’d have to tell him, but now wasn’t the time. Not when everything was going so well.

  “You are so crazy ‘Zay,” I said while placing my feet in his lap.

  I leaned back and rested my head on the arm of the sofa while absorbing the heat from Isaiah’s body and the roaring fire across from us.

  Massaging away the day’s stress, he smiled at me. “My mother really likes you.”

  “Mmm…I like her too. That feels so good baby,” I said, while moaning earnestly. It was true, I did like his mom and actually, I liked his entire family. The last few weekend,s we split our time between his and my parents’ homes getting to know each other past the surface.

  Our relationship had grown stronger over the last couple of weeks, making us a true couple. Our time together moved from the comfort of my home and bed to out around town. I had even become comfortable with being out in the day time with Isaiah. Public displays of affection flowed with an ease that frightened me at first, but soon became as second nature as breathing. Even our sex life changed. We transitioned from fucking to making love, from lust to intimacy, from primal and rushed to smooth and indulgently languid. In short, we learned each other and appreciated the imperfections that made the other unique.

  “Thanks baby. You keep doing what you do for me and I’ll make you the next Mrs. Catcher. Yeah, Sparrow Catcher has a certain ring to it, don’t you think?”

  I was truly laughing now so much so that I had to hold on to my stomach. “God, I love you ‘Zay.”

  His hands stilled on my calves, he breathing changed, and he stared at me. Capturing my arms, he pulled me onto his lap, holding me close. Burying my face in his neck, I tried to do what I did best, run and hide. However, he had other plans. Pushing me back, he captured my chin in his hands, forcing me to look into his eyes.

  Gently touching his forehead against min
e, he brushed his lips against mine twice before whispering against my lips, “You have no clue how long I wanted to hear that, baby doll. I love you so much.”

  Standing, he put out the fire and turned to me with his hand outstretched. Fingers locked, he led us to the master bathroom. Dimming the lights, I stripped out of my clothing and waited for him to do the same while I started the shower. What had been a spontaneous act a few months earlier was now our nightly ritual. No matter what was going on or where we were, we always bathed together.

  Stepping into the white marble shower, steam surrounded us and transported us to our own fantasy world. The scent of vanilla and jasmine filled the air, adding another layer of sensuality as Isaiah gently rubbed the shower crème into my sensitive skin.

  I watched through half-opened eyes as he knelt between legs. Placing a quick kiss to my stomach, he bathed me intimately. There was nothing more erotic in the world than watching your man kneel before your femininity as droplets of water raced down his Adonis like body. Turning me around, he placed my hands against the tiled wall and sponged my back while whispering sweet nothings in my ear and grinding his dick against the crack of my ass.

  Handing me the body pouf, he looked at me expectantly. As I rubbed his body down with D&G body wash for men, I reveled in the feel of him. I knew then that I could do this for a million years and never tire of taking care of my man in this way. The knowledge that I was essential in taking part of a truly intimate act was both humbling and indulging. Rinsing his body, I shampooed his short hair, taking care not let it run into his eyes. Staring at him as I rinsed his hair, I realized how blessed I was to finally find love at the tender age of 27.

  I opened the shower door, stepped out and grabbed two heated towels while Isaiah turned off the water. Thirsty towels drank up the excess moisture that clung to our frames as we simultaneously patted each other’s delicate skin. Isaiah carried me to the bedroom and softly laid me down in the middle of my California king bed. He warmed some shea butter in between his palms and stroked my body, moisturizing and heating it concurrently. Pushing gently at his chest, I had him lay back as I did the same, basking in his maleness.

  “You make me appreciate being a woman.”

  “You make me want to be a better man,” he whispered as I continued to massage the butter into his supple muscles.

  Leaning over, I kissed him deeply before pulling back the heavy down comforter. I squirmed closer to him and we spooned. His front to my back, his right hand over my right breast, and our hearts beating in sync, we fell asleep as the first snowflakes of the season fell outside my bedroom window.

  Chapter 10

  BEEP…BEEP…BEEP…BEEP….BEEP!!!!

  Blindly reaching towards my alarm clock, I repeatedly depressed the snooze button yet the sound continued to assault me. Coughing slightly, I sat up and realized that it wasn’t my alarm clock but my fire alarm that was going off.

  “SHIT!!! Wake up Isaiah!!! My house is on fire!!!” We ran around the room frantically throwing on clothes and shoes before racing out of the bedroom.

  As we sprinted down the stairs, we were greeted by thick black smoke and blazes in the living room. We made it out of the house just as the fire department arrived. I watched in silent shock as firemen tried to extinguish my home. I vaguely heard Isaiah on the phone with my family. Tears sped down my cheeks as I tried to think of what could have started this fire.

  Fifteen agonizing minutes later, the fire was doused. My sisters pulled up just as things were getting under control. I was wrapped in Isaiah’s arms as we waited in the bitter Illinois cold for the fire experts to give us a preliminary finding of the cause of the fire.

  “Ladies, Sir,” greeted the fire marshal. “I hate to tell you this, but it seems as if this fire was started deliberately. The scent of gasoline was strong.”

  “What the fuck?!”

  “Oh my God!”

  “Who the hell?!”

  Robin, Raven, and Isaiah spoke in unison as I stood there in disbelief.

  “Can you think of anyone who would intentionally try to hurt you?” I shook my head in the negative. “Well, if you can think of anyone please give me call. The police department and I will be working closely together to solve this. We will have extra police patrolling the area just in case the culprit comes back.” The fire marshal handed me his card and walked off.

  As Isaiah and my sisters ventured near the house to survey the damage, I stood watching the fire marshal’s retreat. I caught a movement out the corner of my eye. A tiny gasp escaped my lips and angry tears swam in my eyes.

  I started towards the mysterious figure, but they were gone before I could catch them. Going in the direction they had just left, a familiar sight was laid before me. It was a crystal vase filled with black and red roses.

  A note attached read “Sparrow, baby, we’re just getting started.”

  Openness, trust, honesty. My time to begin all three had just run out.

  Chapter 11

 

  RAVEN

  When I looked in the mirror, I could honestly say that I loved what I saw on the surface. At 29 years old I, Raven Smith, was a beautiful woman. I was 5’8” with a hazelnut complexion, long black hair, and light brown eyes. My body was tight and right with small breasts and slim hips. I was often asked if I was supermodel, which of course I didn’t mind.

  I had it all. I lived in one of the most prominent suburbs of Chicago, had a closet as big as some apartments, filled with every designer known to man, a successful interior design company that I owned with my sisters, and parents that loved me. Yeah, I had it all but I was unbelievably miserable. Why? Because my husband, Dean, was not who I thought he was.

  If you knew Sparrow, my baby sister, you probably heard her say a million times that my husband was a drug dealer and I was a dumb ass for not realizing it. That was absolutely ridiculous. I had been with Dean since I was fifteen. Fourteen years I had been with this man, married for ten, so I knew exactly what he did. Shit, who do you think gave him the money to start moving pounds? That was me.

  My daddy, Jay Bird, made sure that all of his children had access to money. While my sisters, Sparrow and Robin, and my brother Blue, spent their money on material things, I helped my man come up. Why didn’t I help him get a job or go to college? Well, because Dean had assured me that him being in the drug game would be a temporary thing.

  One thing he didn’t tell me was that it was easier getting in the game than getting out. The money and the power were more addictive than the drugs. Honey, if I knew then what I knew now, I would have wasted my money at the mall with my siblings instead of on a man.

  Looking in the mirror, I couldn’t help but ask myself how the daughter of a prominent African-American family could end up married to one of Chicago’s biggest drug kingpins? That was an easy answer, I was a dumb ass! At the tender age of fifteen, I decided to get closer to “my people” and took my dumb ass to the south side. One of my girl’s cousins was throwing a party so, I lied to my parents and went. As soon I walked in all eyes were on me and my eyes were on Dean.

  He was breathtakingly handsome, even back then. The first thing that I noticed was that he was one of the few men I had to look up at with my heels on. Standing at 6’7”, the color of warm honey, dark chocolate eyes and deep dimples, Dean commanded the attention of every woman in the place. Luckily, or unfortunately, depending on how you looked at it, he only had eyes for me. By the end of the night, I was sitting on his lap and feeling like the luckiest girl in the world.

  Fast forward fourteen years and I felt as if my luck had run out. Dean was cheating on me. I didn’t have proof, but I knew he was. A woman knows when her man was cheating. It was like women came built with a bullshit detector and mine was beeping so loudly, it was a wonder that I could even think clearly.

  It was the little inconsistencies that kept me on alert. He was staying out la
ter, claiming that he was working. Yeah, right. He started working out. I had been trying to get him to workout with me for the last two years and all of a sudden he realized that his slight beer belly wasn’t cute? I didn’t think so. Things like that had the hairs on the back of my neck standing up and my Spidey senses tingling. Something wasn’t right.

  Kelis’s Milkshake bounced off the bathroom walls. Without looking

  at the caller id, I knew it was Sparrow. I debated on whether or not to answer, then hit the talk button. “What up?”

  “Nothing much boo, what are you doing?”

  “Staring at this beautiful girl…oh wait it’s me in the mirror,” I chuckled.

  “Ewwww…you know you’re as ugly as homemade sin.”

  “Whatever Sparrow, you wished you looked this good,” I said, running a hand down my flat stomach. “What do you want?”

  “Damn, I can’t call to say hello?” I waited for her to get to the real reason for the call. “Okay, I’m calling to let you know about this dude I just met.”

  Rolling my eyes, I left the bathroom and flopped on my bed. Sparrow was the world’s biggest slut and she was proud of it. She actually bragged about having a stable of hoes. Those were some punk dudes if you asked me. They all knew about each other and didn’t mind. She had just gotten rid of this dude Sean and now she was on to the next one, as Jay-Z would say.

  “Earth to Raven, did you hear me?”

  “Yeah, I heard you. What about this guy?” I would have lectured her about her promiscuity but she wouldn’t have listened anyways. With Sparrow it was best to just let her do what she wanted. Plus, lecturing was Robin’s job.

  “His name is Isaiah and he is fine!! We met at the gym. He purposely chose the treadmill next to mine even though there were many others available. We exchanged numbers and I’ll probably call him tomorrow.”