To Love a No Good Nigga

by Phoenix Williams

  I entered the first room on the right and saw Sparrow lying on towels on the bed. No words were spoken as Robin and I gathered Sparrow off the bed. We took her into the bathroom located in the room. I undressed her while Robin ran a hot bath.

  Filling the sink with tepid water, I dipped a washcloth in it and tried to remove as much of the caked on blood as possible from her face and chest. Robin and I both helped her get in the tub. Gently we washed away the dirt, grime, and blood from her shaking body and washed her hair.

  Thirty minutes later, we took her out, dried her off, and redressed her in a pair of my pajamas. I braided her damp hair while Robin turned down the bed. Just like when we were little all three of us climbed in the bed together with me on the right, Robin on the left and Baby Bird in the middle.

  Chapter 52

  BLUE

  One thing I learned from dealing with Dean in my younger days was that you only had a limited amount of time to get rid of a dead body. After making sure that Sparrow was okay we stuffed Sherry’s body in the trunk of Ty’s SUV. Riding around with a body in the car was risky but we had no choice. We dropped Sparrow off at Pierre’s for two reasons, Raven was there and we needed Pierre’s help. Now, we were on our way to pick up Isaiah. Until now he had been kept in the dark about most of the situation but it wasn’t fair that everyone else had to clean up his woman’s mess. Naw, if he was going to be part of this family then he had to get his hands dirty like everyone else.

  When we arrived at his house an awkward silence filled the air. This was the first time since Ty paid ‘Zay a little visit in the middle of the night a few weeks back that they had been in the same room. Now, they were about to commit a major crime together. I gathered some shovels from the garage and placed them atop Sherry’s body.

  Isaiah looked as if he was about to vomit all over the backseat and Ced but that was too damn bad. He wasn’t getting out of this. I shook my head. I couldn’t believe this was the man Sparrow wanted to spend the rest of her life with. I had always thought she’d fall for a rough neck and not some insanely sensitive dude.

  The ride to the burial spot was silent except for the directions Pierre would throw out to Ty on occasion. All of us were lost in our own thoughts.

  Pierre was familiar with every burial spot Dean had. Sherry’s death had provided another layer of dirt that we would bury Dean with but that wasn’t for a few days. We had to focus on getting her body out of the car and destroying any evidence that would link it to Sparrow..

  Ty shut off the lights as we entered a forest preserve in a remote suburb. We all hopped out of the truck and grabbed a shovel. We followed Pierre deep into the forest and stopped at a small clearing. We started creating a hole that wasn’t very wide but very deep. The last thing we needed was some wild animal digging up the body before we could implicate Dean.

  After an hour of digging, Ty and Isaiah left to get the body. They came back in record time, a scowl on both of their faces. Yeah, there was bad blood there but for Sparrow they would work together. No words were spoken as Sherry was placed in the makeshift grave and covered with dirt. We brushed leaves on top of the space. Ced located a fallen tree that had suffered its death at the hand of a storm earlier in the week. We all helped to drag it over and put it on top of Sherry’s final resting place.

  As we made our way back to the car and drove off I felt a twinge of sadness. I felt bad for Sherry. She had lost everything in her life. She felt her brother’s death was on Sparrow’s hands. It wasn’t. He knew what he was getting into but didn’t know how to handle the rejection. Just like Sherry couldn’t handle the fact that her twin was emotionally disturbed.

  The crazy thing was that they both committed suicide. There was no way that Sparrow pulled that trigger. The way her hands were on it there was absolutely no way. She was pushing it towards Sherry from the back. Sherry’s hands were on the front, her finger on the trigger. I guess she figured that her one last act on this Earth would be to set Sparrow up for her death but she didn’t figure on us being there.

  Shaking my head, I leaned back in my seat. Sparrow would be okay. Out of all my sisters she was the strongest. She would make it through this and Isaiah would help her. In the morning we would get Sparrow out of Raven and Pierre’s home and back to Isaiah. I needed Raven and Pierre to focus on the events that would take place on Saturday.

  Shit, there was no rest for the fucking weary. I had just buried a body now I had to dance with the fucking devil. Then I’d have to focus on helping Robin regain her sanity. I just hoped when this was all over that nothing else would happen. I didn’t think I could handle another round of the Lady Bird’s bullshit.

  Chapter 53

  ROBIN

  Poor Sparrow. How could a person come back from that? The bitch had tried to set her up for murder. I could only shake my head. Sherry was a sick woman.

  I was glad that Isaiah was taking care of her because I had way too much to do. It was Friday morning and I had a lot of work to do. Blue and I were leaving Sunday evening and I still had to pack up the rest of the house and put some of my furniture in storage.

  I was expecting Cedric to come over the next evening before I left for the airport and officially buy the house from me. The doorbell rang and I put down the lamp I was wrapping in bubble wrap. I swiped my hands through my hair and made my way to the door. I opened it without checking the peephole and my breath caught in my chest.

  “Good morning, Robin.”

  “Good morning, Cedric,” I sighed.

  Damn he looked good. It seemed as if the sun was shining just on him. His white teeth gleamed against his chocolate skin. The dark wash jeans, white tee and army green jacket emphasized his perfect physique. In short, he was breathtaking.

  I stepped back and allowed him to cross the threshold. “What are you doing here, Ced?”

  “Well, I have some time and I wanted to see if you needed any help packing.”

  I nervously bit my lower lip. “Yeah, I definitely need the help.”

  He bypassed me and went into the living room. He assembled a box and began wrapping up knick-knacks. Watching him wrap up my fragile belongings as I boxed up books gave me a sense of something that I hadn’t had in a long time. Peace.

  For over an hour we worked in a comfortable silence. We would have continued this way if I hadn’t asked the question that had been nagging me for the last forty-eight hours. “Why do you want to be with me?”

  “What?” he asked, confusion knotting his brow.

  “Why do you want to be with me? I’m damaged goods. I’ve trapped a man, set him up for a professional and personal downfall, and created my very own media circus. Yet you still want me. I don’t get it.”

  He put down the crystal vase he was wrapping and paced in front of my fireplace. “I’ve loved you as far back as I can remember, Robin. I always thought one day you would be mine. Then that one winter break you came home and you finally looked at me the way I had always dreamed. I thought you had finally seen me as a man and not just one of Blue’s friends. Then you left. Next thing I knew you were acting as if what happened between us didn’t happen at all. I went with it because I wanted to see you happy but I’ve never stopped loving you.”

  “But…” I tried to interject.

  The hardness in his gaze stopped me from continuing. He was in the middle of baring his heavily guarded soul. I knew that this wasn’t an everyday occurrence and I’d be wise to shut the hell up and let him continue.

  “As I was saying, now that you are available I will not let you slip through my fingers again. Yeah, you’ve got some bumps and bruises but you are still the total package. You’re smart, funny, ambitious, kind, and nurturing. You love with everything inside of you. I want to be that man that you unleash all that affection on. Believe me when I say I will not abuse it.” He glanced at his watch and turned back to me. “I have to go now but I want you
to know something. Just because you are going across the country doesn’t mean that my agenda will be detoured. I will do everything in my power to make you mine.”

  Well, damn, I thought to myself as I watched him leave. What was a woman to do when a man clearly laid out his plans to become a permanent fixture in her life? I didn’t know about other women but I was going to do my damnedest to make sure that I was mentally, emotionally, and physically ready when Cedric came for me.

  The doorbell sounded and I thought it was Cedric coming back to give me the kiss that my lips desperately craved. Opening the door, I was deeply disappointed.

  “Hey Mom,” I muttered, stepping aside to let her in.

  “Hey baby, how are you?”

  I kissed her cheek and led her into the living room. “I’m busy packing.”

  She sighed heavily and flopped on the couch. I rolled my eyes. Tianna Bird was a fan of theatrics. “Robin, I do not understand why you are going to New York with Blue. You don’t need to go across the country. What you need is a good man.”

  “Mom, I am not in any position to date anyone right now. I need to get myself together. I have some issues I need to work through…”

  “Whatever,” she said, effectively cutting me off. “None of my children have issues. What you need to do is find someone to settle down with and I have the perfect guy for you. His name is Leonardo. His mother and I are in the same Woman’s League. He’s handsome, successful…”

  “Enough! I’m sorry for yelling at you, but damn, Mama. I don’t want to meet Leonardo. I don’t want to go on anymore blind dates. I want to be left the hell alone. I want to work on me. Then once that’s done I want to date Cedric.”

  “Cedric! That hoodlum? Hell no! No daughter of mine is dating some common thug. It’s bad enough that Blue still insists on consorting with him and now you? No, you are going on a date with Leonardo and that’s it.”

  I looked at my mother as if she had lost her mind. I was very much grown and didn’t need my mother trying to run my life. Yeah, it had gotten a little off track recently but some of that was her fault. It was her constant pushing that had me going to desperate lengths. I told her as much.

  “You are not going to blame this on me. I didn’t tell you to get involved with a married man. You know how I feel on that subject. I don’t understand why you can’t get it together, Robin. Your sisters have loving men in their lives. They are happy. Raven is pregnant. She and Sparrow are both getting married. I want the same for you. That’s why I’m going to teach you how to keep a man.”

  An appalled bark of laughter poured from my mouth before I could stop it. I had reached my breaking point. “You are going to teach me how to keep a man? You, the woman who can’t even keep her own man at home, are going to teach me how to keep a man? That’s rich. Are you going to teach me how to fly too?”

  “Robin…”

  “Or maybe you’re going to teach me to be an attentive mother. Lord knows you have experience with that.”

  “Robin…” My mother’s voice held a warning in it but I didn’t care. I was on a roll.

  “You want to know why I can’t get my shit together and why I make the most horrible choices when it comes to men. It’s because of you. All of my life I watched you let Daddy run around town with one bitch, two bitch, red bitch, blue bitch. Yes, I said let. A man will only do what you allow him to do. And now you have the audacity to want to help me keep a man. Why don’t you try keeping yours first then you can talk to me. It’s time for you to go.”

  Without sparing me a single glance, my mother stormed out of my house. I might have gone a little too far but I was tired of everybody thinking they knew what was best for me. I knew I had made some bad decisions but damn, at least give me a chance to correct them. I wanted to make my own decisions when it came to my love life and the man in it. I wasn’t sure Cedric was the best choice but he was my choice and that was all I wanted. A choice.

  Chapter 54

  TIANNA BIRD

  I was not the naïve, overly emotional woman that my children made me out to be. They didn’t understand how much I loved their father. Well, maybe Sparrow and Raven did now that they were in love. But they still didn’t understand why I stayed after all of these years. Hell, a part of me didn’t understand why I stayed.

  Thirty-five years. Thirty-five long years I had put up with Jay Bird’s shit. I had dealt with women young enough to be my daughters accosting me in the streets, showing up at my house, and calling my phone day and night. A part of me could feel their pain. I had fallen hard for Jay Bird too. His confident swag, his model good looks and a dick that could touch every nook and cranny had me ready to give that man any and everything.

  Despite all of his failings, I knew deep down he was a good man. He was a scarred man but he was good. I knew his story. I knew how his mother had treated him and any other male that crossed her path. I knew how it made him feel. So, in spite of his shortcomings I stayed. It wasn’t easy and yeah, I had lost my mind a little bit during our marriage.

  I had quit my job and took to following him around all times of the day and night. I wish I could say I had thought about leaving but it never crossed my mine. I loved Jay with everything I had inside me. Unlike my parents, I wanted my marriage to work. I wanted my kids to grow up in a two parent home. I tried to keep things under wraps from my children but once the women started showing up at the house it was a done deal.

  How do you explain to your children why a woman was at their house on Christmas day screaming like a lunatic? How did you look those same children in the face after forgiving their father for the millionth time? It wasn’t easy and I knew they all resented me for it. I was as much to blame as Jay Bird for the blemishing of my kids’ souls. I altered their views on marriage and love by staying with the only man that I had loved. A man I loved more than myself.

  Why did I stay? I had been asking myself that question a lot as of lately. Part of it was that I loved him so much. Part of it was that I knew if given the chance I could show him how beautiful our love could be. The other part was that I was scared. I was scared of being alone. I was scared of failing at my marriage. I was scared of being a single mother to three kids I hardly knew anything about because I was so busy chasing their damn daddy around Chicago.

  But now, in my late fifties, I was tired of trying. How can you love someone that barely loved themselves? It was too hard and I was too tired. I was too old to be playing these games with Jay, games that he should have been done playing over thirty years ago.

  So, once I left Robin’s house I went straight home and gave him an ultimatum. Either he would quit fucking around or I was leaving. Over the years I had begged him, asked him, and pleaded with him to stop messing around me but I had never threatened to leave. The panic on his face let me know that he understood I was serious. I wasn’t going to deal with this anymore. Jay Bird could shape up or ship the hell out. Either way, I was going to start living for Tianna.

  Chapter 55

 

  SPARROW

  Nightmares chased me out of bed late Friday morning. So, I threw on the first thing I saw, brushed me teeth and washed my face. I made my way downstairs and decided to make breakfast for ‘Zay. He had been on me like white on rice since he picked me up from Pierre’s a few hours ago and I just needed a minute by myself.

  I had barely slept. Even when I was sandwiched between my sisters in the bed, just like when we were children, sleep eluded me. Images of the incident with Sherry kept me from shutting my eyes. It wasn’t the blood, body matter, or the paralyzing fear I felt when the gun sounded that kept me awake. It was the look in Sherry’s eyes, the look of pure vindication.

  She had pulled the trigger to set me up. Lord knows how that situation could have gone down had Blue, Ty, and Ced not been there. As soon as I heard the gun blast off and seen the light behind Sherry’s eyes d
iminish I knew I would never be the same. I was so afraid that I could barely move let alone utter a sound. Blue rushed over to my blood soaked frame and immediately begin checking for entry points. The terror in his eyes set my soul on fire. I had never known Blue to be scared of anything. Even when we were children he was always fearless. The fact that I had scared him made me feel so guilty. It was my lifestyle, my bad decisions that had put us in this predicament.

  I had never loved my brother more than I did last night. He held me to his chest like a small child while directing Ty and Ced to clean up any evidence of me being in the vicinity. He took me to the only place I ever felt truly safe as a child…with my sisters. It wasn’t until ‘Zay picked me up out the bed that I uttered a single word, his name. He smelled to high heaven but it didn’t matter, just being in his arms caused tears to run down my swollen cheeks. If I didn’t know before I knew now that I was loved beyond words.

  Bringing my attention back to the present, I fried up some thick cut bacon, scrambled some eggs, boiled some grits, and baked some biscuits. I had just brought out the orange juice when I heard ‘Zay’s heavy footsteps on the stairs.

  Shirtless and unshaven he looked ruggedly handsome. Damn my body for stirring at the sight of him. He came straight to me and brought me against his body in a tight embrace. It felt so good just to be held. I could have stayed that way forever but the sound of popping grease on the stove brought me back.

  I pushed out of his arms and turned my attention back to cooking my man a meal. “I hope you’re hungry ‘Zay.”

  “Yeah, I am,” he said huskily. We both knew he wasn’t talking about the food.

  I placed a plate piled high with goodies in front of him. I poured two glasses of the juice and sat down next to him at the island. We ate in silence, the side of my body rubbing against his.

  “Sparrow, I need to ask you something.”