BATTERED BLUFF

by Beck, Jessica

  Vera picked up his gun and handed it to me as calmly as if she were passing the mashed potatoes. “I warned you. Lucky for you I know what I’m doing, or that could have ended badly for you.”

  “Worse than getting shot?” he cried out.

  “Well, there’s not a lot worse than getting killed.” Vera looked at me and asked, “Are you okay, Suzanne?”

  “Thanks to you,” I said.

  “There’s no need for you to thank me. I did it out of self-preservation. I heard him tell you that he was going to make sure that I had an ‘accident’ of my own. I just wanted to do unto him before he could do unto me. Just because I took care of him doesn’t make me a saint.”

  I was about to answer when Jake rushed up and pointed his gun at Vera. “Drop it. You only get one warning.”

  “She shot me! Kill her!” Hank shouted. He was like a broken record, and I was learning just to ignore him. What a baby. It wasn’t as though I hadn’t taken a bullet myself, and besides, I had a hard time mustering any sympathy for a repeat killer.

  “Jake, she’s okay,” I shouted as Vera dropped her gun. “She saved me.”

  “Again, I was just looking out after my own self-interests. He’s the one who killed Abel and Beatrice,” she told Killian as he joined us.

  “Why? Why did you do it?” Killian asked his handyman, honestly surprised by the news.

  “It was all for you, Boss,” Hank said.

  “Hank, you shouldn’t have done it,” Killian answered, grossly overstating the obvious, at least as far as I was concerned.

  “I just couldn’t let them kill you inch by inch,” he said. “If I had to do over again, I would do it all the same.”

  He meant it, too, something that sent chills through me.

  Killian was about to reply when Jasper came running up. We were easy enough to find. There was a break in the fog, and then the mist quickly dissipated as though on cue. It was almost as though it had decided to lift at exactly the right moment, and the bright moon suddenly reappeared in the sky.

  “What’s going on, Jasper? Did the gunshots bring you outside?” Killian asked him.

  “No, it’s your house,” Jasper said as he pointed back to it, now clearly visible as it perched on the mountaintop.

  “What about it?”

  “It’s creaking and rumbling like there’s a volcano underneath it,” Jasper said. “Something’s wrong, Uncle K.”

  “I don’t understand. It’s on massive piers dug into the granite,” Killian said.

  “At least that’s what your builder told you he did,” Jake said.

  A moment later we could all feel the vibrations in the ground below our feet as the mountain estate collapsed in on itself and slid out of our view, no doubt making its way to the bottom of the incline to join the road that had slid down earlier.

  “It’s gone. I can’t believe that it’s gone,” Killian said as he started to walk toward where his new place used to be.

  “Don’t do it, Killian,” Jake said as he put a hand on his friend’s shoulder. “It might not be safe.”

  “Nothing’s safe around here, is it?” Killian asked as he started to collapse.

  Thankfully, my husband was there to catch him just as we heard rumbling overheard.

  Evidently the mountaintop had been the last place for the fog to clear.

  Otherwise the helicopter never would have risked flying up there to save us all, just a little too late to do two of our party any good.

  Chapter 21

  “SO, HOW WAS THE SECOND honeymoon?” Momma asked me an hour after we made it back to April Springs later that day. “You’re back early, aren’t you? I didn’t see Jake’s truck in the driveway. What happened—did it break down?”

  “No, it’s still sitting on a mountaintop waiting for the road to get fixed enough to bring it here,” I told her. “Jake is returning the rental his friend Killian got for us, and then we’re going shopping.”

  “Shopping? Really? I try and try to get you to shop and you never want to do it. What’s Jake’s secret?”

  “I lost a bunch of clothes in an avalanche,” I told her simply, and then I went about finishing up the dishes I’d been doing when she’d come in.

  “Right, and I lost my diamond broach in the monsoon,” she said, and then she studied my expression for a moment. “Hang on. You’re serious, aren’t you?”

  “Dead serious,” I told her.

  “Suzanne Hart, did you somehow manage to get yourself into trouble in one night?”

  “I did at that,” I said as I finished putting the last dish away.

  “Well, pour me a cup of coffee and tell me all about it,” Momma said.

  “I would, but you wouldn’t believe it,” I told her as I did as she requested.

  “Try me. I’ve known you your entire life, so nothing you do would surprise me.”

  “Believe it or not, this time it wasn’t my fault,” I explained.

  “Tell it to someone who will believe it,” she answered with a smile.

  “I would, but I might have trouble tracking somebody like that down,” I answered, happy to be with her again. “How’s your world been since I’ve been gone?”

  “Well, now that you ask, that’s the reason I came by. Since you turned down my job offer, something I still don’t quite understand, I’ve hired someone to be my assistant.”

  “Good for you. Is she nice?” I asked, basically just making a bit of polite conversation.

  “Nice? I don’t know if anyone would describe her that way, but she’s efficient, and I can trust her. At least I think I can. I was hoping you’d talk to her and tell me what you think.”

  “Wow, I’m honored that you trust my judgment that much,” I told her.

  “No matter how much I tease you, young lady, I have a great deal of respect for your ability to size people up.”

  “You might want to rethink that once you hear about what happened to us,” I said. “I was two feet from a serial killer and didn’t have a clue until almost too late what was really going on.”

  “Honestly, I can never tell if you’re being serious or you’re just giving your old mother a hard time.”

  “The truth is I’m not even always entirely sure, but right now it’s spot on the money, believe me.”

  “Then I may need something a bit stronger than coffee to be able to hear this,” she said.

  “That might not be a bad idea.”

  As we settled onto the couch, I started to tell her what had happened to Jake and me, trying to downplay the very real dangers we had faced, but failing spectacularly.

  After I finished hitting the highlights, she said, “I thought you were going to take a long break from digging into things like this.”

  “I thought so too, but trouble seems to find me wherever I go,” I told her.

  Momma patted my arm affectionately. “Well, as long as you don’t stray too far away from me, I’m okay with it.”

  “I love you too, Momma,” I told her with a smile.

  Jake had had the right idea getting us both a break away, but I knew that without a doubt April Springs was where I belonged, and it would most likely be a long time before I left town again.

  Even then, I had a hunch that trouble would still find its way to my doorstep.

  And that was okay with me. As long as I was surrounded by the people I loved, I could handle anything that life threw my way.

  At least I hoped so.

  RECIPES

  Cinnamon Cranberry Drop Donuts

  I like to play with holiday flavors year-round, but especially around December. There’s something about the Yuletide season that gets my baking gears spinning. That’s not to say that there aren’t times that I’m looking for quick, easy, tasty, and new combinations, though. I know, it’s a tall order, but hey, isn’t that what having fun in the kitchen is all about? I make this recipe with chocolate chips sometimes, and you should feel free to add a handful if you are so inclined, but there�
��s something simple and elegant about cranberry and cinnamon together, at least in my opinion.

  The simple part of this recipe comes from the premade mix I use to enhance the final outcome, but don’t tell anybody! It can be our little secret. These drop donuts are great on the go, or sitting by the fire. Give them a try when you’re too tired, too stressed, or just too anything to dig out a recipe that contains more than a few steps. Just remember to hide the packet mix bag after you’re finished making donuts, and nobody will ever know just how easy these donuts really are to create!

  Ingredients

  1 packet (7 ounces) prepackaged cinnamon biscuit mix (plain will work, too)

  1/2 cup whole or 2% milk

  2 tablespoons granulated sugar

  1/3 cup dried cranberries (raisins will work as well if you don’t care for cranberries)

  Optional

  2 tablespoons semisweet chocolate chips

  Directions

  Heat enough canola oil to 360°F to fry your donuts.

  In a medium-sized bowl, combine the prepackaged mix, milk, and sugar, stirring until the dry ingredients are incorporated into the wet, but being careful not to overstir the mix.

  Next, add the dried cranberries (and chocolate chips if you so desire), mixing them in as well, but again being careful not to work the batter too much. It’s better to have a few small lumps than an overworked mix.

  Drop bits of dough using a small-sized cookie scoop (the size of your thumb, approximately) into the hot oil. Fry for 3-4 minutes, turning halfway through.

  Yields 10-12 donut drops

  Ginger and Clove Donut Treats

  Lately I’ve been playing with an air fryer I just bought, and I’m trying to work up some basic recipes for it. This is my first attempt at making one exclusively to be air fried, and to be honest with you, I’m still not quite sure if I’ve gotten it right yet. That’s the thing to remember, though. Even salted old pros have to go through their share of failed attempts when they start something new, and I always like to share my failures as well as my successes with you all. So try this one with a measure of forgiveness in your heart if they don’t turn out well for you. If you want to wait until I’m a little more confident in what I offer, feel free to make them and then laugh at me. Trust me, I’ll be laughing right along with you. Ginger and Clove? Seriously? What was I thinking?

  Ingredients

  Wet

  2 eggs, beaten

  1 cup milk (whole or 2%)

  1 stick butter, melted (8 ounces)

  1⁄2 cup brown sugar, dark

  2 tablespoons molasses

  1 teaspoon vanilla extract

  Dry

  2 cups flour, unbleached all-purpose

  2 teaspoons ground ginger

  1 teaspoon ground clove

  1 teaspoon cinnamon

  1 teaspoon baking soda

  1⁄4 teaspoon nutmeg

  1⁄2 teaspoon salt

  Directions

  Preheat your air fryer for 320°F, setting the timer for enough time to fry all of your donuts.

  While it is preheating, beat the eggs, then mix in the milk, melted butter, brown sugar, molasses, and vanilla extract. In a separate bowl, combine the flour, ginger, clove, cinnamon, baking soda, nutmeg, and salt.

  Place the batter in a silicon mold or metal donut pan in your air fryer after coating lightly with some nonstick spray.

  Air fry until brown, 8-10 minutes, and start on the next batch.

  Yields 10-12 donuts, depending on your mold or pan.

  *Note: If you don’t have an air fryer, you can still make these in a conventional oven, baking for 7-9 minutes at 350°F, or until brown.

  Suzanne’s Classic Meatloaf

  I have a few basic meatloaf recipes I like to use, but this one is a consistent performer in the kitchen, at least as far as my family is concerned. The combination of beef and pork really makes the meatloaf flavorful and juicy, but if you want to go with straight ground beef, that works out well, too. This started off as a family recipe, but I’ve enhanced it enough over the years that it’s now my own. I suspect those who come after me will add their own tweaks to the recipe, and I couldn’t be happier about that. Recipes, at least as far as I’m concerned, should never stop growing and evolving, but don’t tell my mother that! She heartily disagrees with me on that point, but hey, what she doesn’t know can’t hurt her, right?

  Ingredients

  1 pound ground beef (I like the 80/20 blend for the fat content. This isn’t a place to avoid extra calories, at least in my opinion.)

  1/2 pound ground pork. (You can use spicy sausage mix if you want to really jazz it up, but it’s your call.)

  1 chopped onion, medium

  1 chopped red bell pepper

  ½ cup bread crumbs (Italian work fine too)

  2 eggs

  ½ cup catsup

  1 teaspoon Worcestershire sauce

  Directions

  Preheat the oven to 350°F.

  In a large bowl, combine the ground beef, ground pork, onion, pepper, bread crumbs, eggs, catsup, and Worcestershire sauce. Mix well. Like Suzanne, I like to use my clean dry hands for this step, since I’ve never had much luck using any kind of utensil to get the blend I want, but I understand if that’s a little too hands-on for you, so feel free to improvise with any handy tool you happen to prefer.

  Next, spray a 9X5 loaf pan with nonstick cooking spray and press the mix into the pan. This next step isn’t necessary, but I like to coat the top of the meatloaf with catsup so it cooks in while it’s baking, but again, that’s your decision.

  Bake for 65-85 minutes, or until the juices run clear when you pierce the top of the loaf.

  Let rest for five minutes before serving.

  I’m not about to give you an amount this serves. It depends on the size of your slices, paper-thin, or slab-sized. I’m sure I don’t need to tell you all what size I like. The bigger piece the better, in my book.

  Light Baked Cake Donuts

  These aren’t air fried, but they taste light and airy, something that is sometimes hard to accomplish with a donut! My usual recipes seem to be on the dense side, which is all well and good, but these defy that logic. They aren’t the easiest donuts in the world to make, and to be honest with you, one member of my family absolutely hates them, but they have their own fans, so they aren’t completely out of my lineup, though I always make something extra for the lone dissenter.

  Ingredients

  Wet

  1 egg, beaten

  1⁄2 cup sugar, white granulated

  1⁄2 cup buttermilk

  1⁄8 cup canola oil

  1 tablespoon butter, melted

  1 teaspoon vanilla extract

  Dry

  1 cup flour, unbleached all-purpose

  1 teaspoon baking powder

  1⁄4 teaspoon nutmeg

  1⁄8 teaspoon salt

  Sweet orange marmalade as a topping

  Directions

  Preheat the oven to 350°F.

  In one bowl, beat the egg thoroughly, then add the sugar, buttermilk, canola oil, melted butter, and vanilla extract.

  In a separate bowl, sift together the flour, baking powder, nutmeg, and salt.

  Add the dry ingredients to the wet, mixing well until you have a smooth consistency.

  Using a cookie scoop, drop walnut-sized portions of batter into small muffin tins, silicon molds, or your donut maker, and bake at for 6-10 minutes or until golden brown.

  Top with marmalade while the donuts are hot.

  Yields 6-10 small donuts

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  Other Books by Jessica Beck

  The Donut Mysteries

  Glazed Murder

  Fatally Frosted

  Sinister Sprinkles

  Evil Éclairs

  Tragic Toppings

  Killer Crullers

  Drop Dead Chocolate

  Powdered Peril

  Illegally Iced

  Deadly Donuts

  Assault and Batter

  Sweet Suspects

  Deep Fried Homicide

  Custard Crime

  Lemon Larceny

  Bad Bites

  Old Fashioned Crooks

  Dangerous Dough

  Troubled Treats

  Sugar Coated Sins

  Criminal Crumbs

  Vanilla Vices

  Raspberry Revenge

  Fugitive Filling

  Devil’s Food Defense

  Pumpkin Pleas

  Floured Felonies

  Mixed Malice

  Tasty Trials

  Baked Books

  Cranberry Crimes

  Boston Cream Bribes

  Cherry Filled Charges

  Scary Sweets

  Cocoa Crush

  Pastry Penalties

  Apple Stuffed Alibies

  Perjury Proof

  Caramel Canvas

  Dark Drizzles

  Counterfeit Confections

  Measured Mayhem

  Blended Bribes

  Sifted Sentences

  Dusted Discoveries

  Nasty Knead

  Rigged Rising

  Donut Despair

  Whisked Warnings

  Baker’s Burden

  Battered Bluff

  The Classic Diner Mysteries

  A Chili Death

  A Deadly Beef

  A Killer Cake

  A Baked Ham

  A Bad Egg

  A Real Pickle

  A Burned Biscuit

  The Ghost Cat Cozy Mysteries

  Ghost Cat: Midnight Paws

  Ghost Cat 2: Bid for Midnight