In the Wrong Paradise, and Other Stories

by James H. Schmitz

  THE GREAT GLADSTONE MYTH. {283}

  In the post-Christian myths of the Teutonic race settled in England, nofigure appears more frequently and more mysteriously than that ofGladstone or Mista Gladstone. To unravel the true germinal conception ofGladstone, and to assign to all the later accretions of myth theirprovenance and epoch, are the problems attempted in this chapter. It isalmost needless (when we consider the perversity of men and the lastingnature of prejudice) to remark that some still see in Gladstone a shadowyhistorical figure. Just as our glorious mythical Bismarck has beenfalsely interpreted as the shadowy traditional Arminius (the Arminius ofTacitus, not of Leo Adolescens), projected on the mists of the Brocken,so Gladstone has been recognized as a human hero of the Fourth Dynasty.In this capacity he has been identified with Gordon (probably the northwind), with Spurgeon, {284} whom I have elsewhere shown to be a rivergod, and with Livingstone. In the last case the identity of the suffix"stone," and the resemblance of the ideas of "joy" and of "vitality,"lend some air of speciousness to a fundamental error. Livingstone isohne zweifel, a mythical form of the midnight sun, now fabled to wanderin the "Dark Continent," as Bishop of Natal, the land of the sun'sbirthplace, now alluded to as lost in the cloud-land of comparativemythology. Of all these cobwebs spun by the spiders of sciolism, theEuhemeristic or Spencerian view--that Gladstone is an historicalpersonage--has attracted most attention. Unluckily for its advocates,the whole contemporary documents of the Victorian Dynasty have perished.When an over-educated and over-rated populace, headed by two mythicalfigures, Wat Tyler and one Jo, {285a} rose in fury against the SchoolBoards and the Department, they left nothing but tattered fragments ofthe literature of the time. Consequently we are forced to reconstructthe Gladstonian myth by the comparative method--that is, by comparing therelics of old Ritual treatises, hymns, imprecations, and similarreligious texts, with works of art, altars, and statues, and with populartraditions and folklore. The results, again, are examined in the lightof the Vedas, the Egyptian monuments, and generally of everything that,to the unscientific eye, seems most turbidly obscure in itself, and mosthopelessly remote from the subject in hand. The aid of Philology willnot be rejected because Longus, or Longinus, has {285b} meanly arguedthat her services must be accepted with cautious diffidence. On thecontrary, Philology is the only real key to the labyrinths ofpost-Christian myth.

  The philological analysis of the name of Gladstone is attempted, withvery various results, by Roth, Kuhn, Schwartz, and other contemporarydescendants of the old scholars. Roth finds in "Glad" the Scotch word"gled," a hawk or falcon. He then adduces the examples of theHawk-Indra, from the Rig Veda, and of the Hawk-headed Osiris, both ofthem indubitably personifications of the sun. On the other hand, Kuhn,with Schwartz, fixes his attention on the suffix "stone," and quotes,from a fragment attributed to Shakespeare, "the all-dreadedthunder-stone." Schwartz and Kuhn conclude, in harmony with theirgeneral system, that Gladstone is really and primarily the thunderbolt,and secondarily the spirit of the tempest. They quote an isolated linefrom an early lay about the "Pilot who weathered the storm," which theyapply to Gladstone in his human or political aspect, when thestorm-spirit had been anthropomorphised, and was regarded as an ancestralpolitician. But such scanty folklore as we possess assures us that thestorm, on the other hand, weathered Gladstone; and that the poem quotedrefers to quite another person, also named William, and probablyidentical with William Tell--that is, with the sun, which of coursebrings us back to Roth's view of the hawk, or solar Gladstone, thoughthis argument in his own favour has been neglected by the learnedmythologist. He might also, if he cared, adduce the solar stone ofDelphi, fabled to have been swallowed by Cronus. Kuhn, indeed, lends aninvoluntary assent to this conclusion (Ueber Entwick. der Myth.) when heasserts that the stone swallowed by Cronus was the setting sun. Thus wehave only to combine our information to see how correct is the view ofRoth, and how much to be preferred to that of Schwartz and Kuhn.Gladstone, philologically considered, is the "hawkstone," combining withthe attributes of the Hawk-Indra and Hawk-Osiris those of the Delphiansun-stone, which we also find in the Egyptian Ritual for the Dead. {287}The ludicrous theory that Gladstone is a territorial surname, derivedfrom some place ("Gledstane" Falkenstein), can only be broached by menignorant of even the grammar of science; dabblers who mark with a pencilthe pages of travellers and missionaries. We conclude, then, thatGladstone is, primarily, the hawk-sun, or sun-hawk.

  From philology we turn to the examination of literary fragments, whichwill necessarily establish our already secured position (that Gladstoneis the sun), or so much the worse for the fragments. These have reachedus in the shape of burned and torn scraps of paper, covered with printedtexts, which resolve themselves into hymns, and imprecations or curses.It appears to have been the custom of the worshippers of Gladstone tosalute his rising, at each dawn, with printed outcries of adoration anddelight, resembling in character the Osirian hymns. These are sometimescouched in rhythmical language, as when we read--

  "[Gla] dstone, the pillar of the People's hopes,"--

  to be compared with a very old text, referring obscurely to "the People'sWilliam," and "a popular Bill," doubtless one and the same thing, as hasoften been remarked. Among the epithets of Gladstone which occur in thehymns, we find "versatile," "accomplished," "philanthropic," "patriotic,""statesmanlike," "subtle," "eloquent," "illustrious," "persuasive,""brilliant," "clear," "unambiguous," "resolute." All of those areobviously intelligible only when applied to the sun. At the same time wenote a fragmentary curse of the greatest importance, in which Gladstoneis declared to be the beloved object of "the Divine Figure from theNorth," or "the Great White Czar." This puzzled the learned, till afragment of a mythological disquisition was recently unearthed. In thistext it was stated, on the authority of Brinton, that "the Great WhiteHare" worshipped by the Red Indians was really, when correctlyunderstood, the Dawn. It is needless to observe (when one is addressingstudents) that "Great White Hare" (in Algonkin, Manibozho) becomes GreatWhite Czar in Victorian English. Thus the Divine Figure from the North,or White Czar, with whom Gladstone is mythically associated, turns out tobe the Great White Hare, or Dawn Hero, of the Algonkins. The sun(Gladstone) may naturally and reasonably be spoken of in mythicallanguage as the "Friend of the Dawn." This proverbial expression came tobe misunderstood, and we hear of a Liberal statesman, Gladstone, and ofhis affection for a Russian despot. The case is analogous to Apollo'sfabled love for Daphne = Dahana, the Dawn. While fragments of laudatoryhymns are common enough, it must not be forgotten that dirges or curses(Dirae) are also discovered in the excavations. These Dirae were putforth both morning and evening, and it is interesting to note that theimprecations vented at sunset ("evening papers," in the old mythicallanguage) are even more severe and unsparing than those uttered ("morningpapers") at dawn.

  How are the imprecations to be explained? The explanation is notdifficult, nothing _is_ difficult--to a comparative mythologist.Gladstone is the sun, the enemy of Darkness. But Darkness has herworshippers as well as Light. Set, no less than Osiris, was adored inthe hymns of Egypt, perhaps by kings of an invading Semitic tribe. Nowthere can be no doubt that the enemies of Gladstone, the Rishis, or hymn-writers who execrated him, were regarded by his worshippers as a darkenedclass, foes of enlightenment. They are spoken of as "the stupid party,"as "obscurantist," and so forth, with the usual amenity of theologicalcontroversy. It would be painful, and is unnecessary, to quote from thecurses, whether matins or vespers, of the children of night. Theirlanguage is terribly severe, and, doubtless, was regarded as blasphemy bythe sun-worshippers. Gladstone is said to have "no conscience," "nosense of honour," to be so fugitive and evasive in character, that onemight almost think the moon, rather than the sun, was the topic underdiscussion. But, as Roth points out, this is easily explained when weremember the vicissitudes of English weather, and the infrequentappearances of the sun in that climate. By the curses, uttered as theywere in the morning, whe
n night has yielded to the star of day, and atevening, when day is, in turn, vanquished by night, our theory of the sunGladstone is confirmed beyond reach of cavil; indeed, the solar theory isno longer a theory, but a generally recognized fact.

  Evidence, which is bound to be confirmatory, reaches us from an altar andfrom works of art. The one altar of Gladstone is by some explained asthe pedestal of his statue, while the anthropological sciolists regard itsimply as a milestone! In speaking to archaeologists it is hardlynecessary even to touch on this preposterous fallacy, sufficientlyconfuted by the monument itself.

  On the road into western England, between the old sites of Bristol andLondon, excavations recently laid bare the very interesting monumentfigured here.

  [Sketch of monument: image1.jpg]

  Though some letters or hieroglyphs are defaced, there can be no doubtthat the inscription is correctly read G. O. M. The explanation which Ihave proposed (Zeitschrift fur Ang. Ant) is universally accepted byscholars. I read Gladstonio Optimo Maximo, "To Gladstone, Best andGreatest," a form of adoration, or adulation, which survived in England(like municipal institutions, the game laws, and trial by jury) from thedate of the Roman occupation. It is a plausible conjecture thatGladstone stepped into the shoes of Jupiter Optimus Maximus. Hence wemay regard him (like Osiris) as the sum of the monotheistic conception inEngland.

  This interpretation is so manifest, that, could science sneer, we mightlaugh at the hazardous conjectures of smatterers. They, as usual, aregreatly divided among themselves. The Spencerian or Euhemeristicschool,--if that can be called a school

  "Where blind and naked Ignorance Delivers brawling judgments all day long On all things, unashamed,"--

  protests that the monument is a pedestal of a lost image of Gladstone.The inscription (G. O. M.) is read "Grand Old Man," and it is actuallyhinted that this was the petit nom, or endearing title, of a realhistorical politician. Weak as we may think such reasonings, we mustregard them as, at least, less unscholarly than the hypothesis that theinscription should be read

  "90 M."

  meaning "ninety miles from London." It is true that the site whence themonument was excavated is at a distance of ninety miles from the ruins ofLondon, but that is a mere coincidence, on which it were childish toinsist. Scholars know at what rate such accidents should be estimated,and value at its proper price one clear interpretation like G. O. M.=Gladstonio Optimo Maximo.

  It is, of course, no argument against this view that the authors of theDirae regard Gladstone as a _maleficent_ being. How could they dootherwise? They were the scribes of the opposed religion. Diodorustells us about an Ethiopian sect which detested the Sun. A parallel, asusual, is found in Egypt, where Set, or Typhon, is commonly regarded as amaleficent spirit, the enemy of Osiris, the midnight sun. None the lessit is certain that under some dynasties Set himself was adored--the deityof one creed is the Satan of its opponents. A curious coincidence seemsto show (as Bergaigne thinks) that Indra, the chief Indo-Aryan deity, wasoccasionally confounded with Vrittra, who is usually his antagonist. Themyths of Egypt, as reported by Plutarch, say that Set, or Typhon, forcedhis way out of his mother's side, thereby showing his natural malevolenceeven in the moment of his birth. The myths of the extinct Algonkins ofthe American continent repeat absolutely the same tale about Malsumis,the brother and foe of their divine hero, Glooskap. Now the Rig Veda(iv. 18, 1-3) attributes this act to Indra, and we may infer that Indrahad been the Typhon, or Set, or Glooskap, of some Aryan kindred, beforehe became the chief and beneficent god of the Kusika stock ofIndo-Aryans. The evil myth clung to the good god. By a similar processwe may readily account for the imprecations, and for the many profane andblasphemous legends, in which Gladstone is represented as oblique,mysterious, and equivocal. (Compare Apollo Loxias.) The same class ofideas occurs in the myths about Gladstone "in Opposition" (as the oldmythical language runs), that is, about the too ardent sun of summer.When "in Opposition" he is said to have found himself in a condition "ofmore freedom and less responsibility," and to "have made it hot for hisenemies," expressions transparently mythical. If more evidence werewanted, it would be found in the myth which represents Gladstone as theopponent of Huxley. As every philologist knows, Huxley, by Grimm's law,is Huskley, the hero of a "husk myth" (as Ralston styles it), a brilliantbeing enveloped in a husk, probably the night or the thunder-cloud. Thedispute between Gladstone and Huskley as to what occurred at the Creationis a repetition of the same dispute between Wainamoinen and Joukahainen,in the Kalewala of the Finns. Released from his husk, the opponentbecomes Beaconsfield = the field of light, or radiant sky.

  In works of art, Gladstone is represented as armed with an axe. This, ofcourse, is probably a survival from the effigies of Zeus Labrandeus, denMan auf Munsen mit der streitaxt erblickt (Preller, i. 112). We hear ofaxes being offered to Gladstone by his worshippers. Nor was the oldcustom of clothing the image of the god (as in the sixth book of the"Iliad") neglected. We read that the people of a Scotch manufacturingtown, Galashiels, presented the Midlothian Gladstone (a local hero), with"trouserings," which the hero graciously accepted. Indeed he wasremarkably unlike Death, as described by AEschylus, "Of all gods, Deathonly recks not of gifts." Gladstone, on the other hand, was the centreof a lavish system of sacrifice--loaves of bread, axes, velocipedes,books, in vast and overwhelming numbers, were all dedicated at hisshrine. Hence some have identified him with Irving, also a deitypropitiated (as we read in Josephus Hatton) by votive offerings. In alater chapter I show that Irving is really one of the Asvins of Vedicmythology, "the Great Twin Brethren," or, in mythic language, "theCorsican Brothers" (compare Myriantheus on the Asvins). His inseparablecompanion is Wilson-Barrett.

  Among animals the cow is sacred to Gladstone; and, in works of art, gemsand vases (or "jam-pots"), he is represented with the cow at his feet,like the mouse of Horus, of Apollo Smintheus, and of the Japanese God ofPlenty (see an ivory in the Henley Collection). How are we to explainthe companionship of the cow? At other times the Sun-hero sits betweenthe horns of the Cow-Goddess Dilemma, worshipped at Westminster. (CompareBrugsch, "Religion und Mythologie der alten Aegypter," p. 168, "DieDarstellungen Zeigen uns den Sonnengott zwischen den Hornern der Kuhsitzend.") The idea of Le Page Renouf, and of Pierret and De Rouge, isthat the cow is a symbol of some Gladstonian attribute, perhaps"squeezability," a quality attributed to the hero by certain Irishminstrels. I regard it as more probable that the cow is (as in the Veda)the rain-cloud, released from prison by Gladstone, as by Indra. At thesame time the cow, in the Veda, stands for Heaven, Earth, Dawn, Night,Cloud, Rivers, Thunder, Sacrifice, Prayer, and Soma. We thus have a widefield to choose from, nor is our selection of very much importance, asany, or all, of these interpretations will be welcomed by Sanskritscholars. The followers of McLennan have long ago been purged out of theland by the edict of Oxford against this sect of mythological heretics._They_ would doubtless have maintained that the cow was Gladstone'stotem, or family crest, and that, like other totemists, he was forbiddento eat beef.

  It is curious that on some old and worn coins we detect ahalf-obliterated male figure lurking behind the cow. The inscription maybe read "Jo," or "Io," and appears to indicate Io, the cow-maiden ofGreek myth (see the "Prometheus" of AEschylus).

  Another proof of the mythical character of Gladstone is the number of hisbirthplaces. Many cities claimed the honour of being his cradle, exactlyas in the cases of Apollo and Irving. Their claims were allowed by theDeity. (Compare Callimachus, Hymn to Apollo.)

  In addressing scholars it is needless to refute the Euhemeristichypothesis, worthy of the Abbe Banier, that the cow is a real cow,offered by a real historical Gladstone, or by his companion, Jo, to theignorant populace of the rural districts. We have already shown that Jois a mythological name. The tendency to identify Gladstone with the cow(as the dawn with the sun) is a natural and edifying tendency, but theposition must not be accepted without further inquiry. The Sun-god,
inEgyptian myth, is a Bull, but there is a difference, which we must notoverlook, between a bull and a cow. Caution, prudence, a tranquilbalancing of all available evidence, and an absence of preconceivedopinions,--these are the guiding stars of comparative mythology.