The Unexplainable Fairy Godmother (The Inscrutable Paris Beaufont Book 1)

by Sarah Noffke

  “I thought we already established that you don’t forage,” she countered. “Yes, I think that my various mistakes throughout the day are why I’m going to get booted.”

  “I’m not sure I see the choices you made as mistakes,” he offered. “That seems like a harsh view. It seems to me that you made some interesting strides today, testing out of a class in a single day, reading three books, making a pie, and possibly a few friends for the first time.”

  She turned and put her back to the window. “How do you know that I read three books? And that I made friends? Or that I didn’t have any to begin with?”

  “You’ll remember that you were alone on Roya Lane when we met, saying goodbye to imaginary friends,” he answered.

  Paris wrapped her arms across her chest in a challenging fashion. “And the rest of my questions?”

  He shrugged. “I’m an observer. It’s what I do. There’s not much more interesting at this college right now than Paris Westbridge.”

  “I thought you came here to study this college that exists in a bubble,” she challenged.

  “I did,” he admitted. “I’ve been all over today, learning all about the ins and outs of this place. It just so happens that wherever I go, I hear things about you. If you didn’t know, you have people talking.”

  “I did know,” she stated dryly.

  “If it helps, if you have to leave here, I’ll leave with you,” he said consolingly.

  “What?” Paris questioned, shocked to hear the squirrel offer that. “You wanted to come here to do research or whatever secret mission you have up your sleeve.”

  “I don’t have any sleeves,” he corrected, holding up his tiny arm. “Squirrel, remember?”

  “My point is that you wanted to come here when I didn’t,” she stated. “You don’t have to leave because I get kicked out.”

  “Well, you haven’t gotten kicked out yet,” he argued. “Our deal was that I come with you because you didn’t want to go or go alone. So if you have to leave, I’ll go with you.”

  “Okay.” She drew out the word. “But I don’t have a lot of socks at my place on Roya Lane and can’t afford to have them all ruined.”

  “Oh, which reminds me,” he squeaked. “I got you some new socks. With no holes.”

  “How fancy,” she joked with a laugh as a knock sounded on the door, making both of them tense.

  Chapter Fifty-Two

  Paris cautiously pulled open the door, wondering if she was late for her exam. Talk about a way to put a nail in her coffin. She thought she had another half hour, but she might have got the schedule wrong.

  To her surprise, she found Penny Pullman on the other side, her chin down and a shy expression on her face. “I’m sorry if I’m bothering you. I just…” She looked around Paris as if she saw something in the room behind her. “Did I hear you talking to someone a moment ago?”

  Paris’ hand tensed on the doorknob. “Yep,” she admitted. “Myself. I was talking to myself, giving myself a pep talk.”

  “Oh, I thought I heard you laughing,” Penny admitted.

  Paris gritted her teeth together. If she and Faraday stayed, they had to be more careful. “Yeah, I was laughing. The problem with talking to myself is that I’m mouthy and tease myself. It’s all very strange.”

  Penny smiled at that. The small young woman with mousey features was quite beautiful when she smiled, the gesture transforming her face. “I wish I was that entertaining by myself. I don’t think I could talk to myself, let alone make myself laugh.”

  “Well, my jokes are pretty bad,” Paris teased.

  “Anyway, if you have a moment, I wanted to come by to apologize.” Penny’s voice was low and full of shame. “You’re in all this trouble because of me, and I never meant for you to get punished for it.”

  Paris sighed, leaning against the door. “No, don’t. This isn’t your fault at all. I accept full responsibility. I’m the one who dropped the banana cream pie on Becky’s head and the apple pie on Professor Meanie Face’s head.”

  Penny laughed, covering her mouth. “I didn’t think there would be any better a sight than Becky getting covered in banana cream, and then you launched that apple pie at Professor Butcher. It was the best twenty-four hours of my life.”

  Paris beamed, grateful that even if she was leaving, she’d made a difference for this girl who obviously didn’t know how to stand up for herself. Maybe that would change. If Paris stayed at Happily Ever After College, she’d teach Penny to fight her own battles and not be Becky’s and Professor Butcher’s punching bag. Maybe she’d teach her to throw an actual punch. A fairy godmother might need that skill at some point, she reasoned, although she didn’t know when or how.

  “Well, I’m glad I was able to help,” Paris finally said when an uncomfortable silence rose between the two, brought on by Penny’s always nervous demeanor.

  “That’s my real question,” Penny dared to ask, flushing pink for being so bold. “Why did you help me? Today, it ruined your project and messed up your assessment. Why did you risk your place here at Happily Ever After College for me?”

  Paris had to think about this for a moment. She tilted her head, laying it against the open door. “I’ll admit that it was an impromptu decision and I knew otherwise you’d get in trouble and lose your scholarship. I guess, in the back of my mind, I figured I was probably going home either way. I’m not sure I’m right for this place, or maybe it’s not right for me. But you’re here and deserve the chance to stay, so I figured I could help you.”

  Penny’s smile again made her look girlish and carefree, not a tame woman with tons of worries. “You’re the type of people I thought fairy godmothers were before coming here. Someone who fights for others, giving them a chance they couldn’t create for themselves.”

  For some reason, these words that were supposed to make Paris feel better made her feel a lot worse. She didn’t think she was at all fairy godmother material. Paris feared that she’d given Penny the wrong impression. Maybe a false hope. Paris wasn’t someone who fought and gave others chances. Usually, she got herself into a world of trouble, created some damage to public property fighting with a giant, and gave her Uncle John a headache.

  “Look, I appreciate that, but I’m a rebellious girl who was looking for a second chance,” Paris admitted. “I’m not all that you’re making me out to be. Besides, I’m probably not good enough to keep my place here at Happily Ever After College. So although it was nice meeting you, I’ll probably be gone soon.”

  The sadness that etched itself on Penny’s face was immediate. “I hope you don’t leave. You make this place better, and not just because you put Becky in her place and saved me with Professor Butcher.”

  “But that’s part of it, isn’t it?” Paris grinned.

  “Well, yeah,” Penny admitted. “But since you’ve been here, those who used to smile less, smile more. Those who used to scowl most of the time, well, they scowl more. I like what you do to Happily Ever After College and would like to see you stick around. I’d like to see how you fix things.”

  Paris shook her head. “I’m no zonk,” she joked. “I don’t think anyone would call me a fixer, but thanks.”

  “Well, I won’t keep you,” Penny said sheepishly. “I know you have an exam. I hope it goes well and just wanted to say thank you for helping me. If I could repay you, well, I would. Maybe there will be an opportunity.”

  “Don’t let others push you around,” Paris stated. “That’s payment enough. But thanks.”

  Penny offered her one last tame smile and turned, striding back down the hallway.

  Paris closed the door and pushed her back against it, grateful she had made a difference at the college, if only for one person. That was enough.

  Chapter Fifty-Three

  The Enchanted Grounds were lit with tiki torches when Paris exited the conservatory, finding the same temperature as when she was outside during the daylight hours. It was weird to think she’d been at Happily
Ever After less than two days when it already felt like so long, and still, there was so much she wanted to explore.

  Shaking off the distractions of her thoughts, Paris started toward the open grassy area where she saw Headmistress Starr, Mae Ling, and many of the other professors congregated. Paris was grateful she didn’t have to perform this exam in front of too many people.

  She turned to look back at the manor and spied dozens of faces pressed to various windows, all of their eager eyes on Paris.

  “So much for thinking I’ll have any privacy,” she muttered as she spun back and strode for the congregation of fairy godmothers. Wilfred, Chef Ash, and Hemingway were all present, which again didn’t make her feel any better.

  “Thank you for joining us,” Headmistress Starr began. “This is your exam at the end of your first day. Since your entry into Happily Ever After College isn’t a typical one, we felt it necessary to ascertain that you are in fact right to become a fairy godmother. Is this college still a place that you want to be?”

  Paris hadn’t expected the question, although it was very straightforward. However, it made her feel vulnerable. If she said yes and failed the exam, would she feel dumb afterward? If she said no, would that be what disqualified her? She didn’t know.

  Finally, she said, “I’d like the opportunity to see if I’m a good fit. After one day, it doesn’t feel like enough time.”

  The headmistress nodded. “That’s fair. Throughout your first day, you were excellent at things that have taken students years to master and not so good at things that only required a little effort from you. So now our job is to see if you have the heart for this place. I believe there are many different methods a fairy godmother can employ to be successful, as you’ve demonstrated today and argued against. However, a fairy godmother must be able to make two people find love. There’s no way around that.”

  A nervous tickle ran up Paris’ throat. She didn’t know where this was going, but with each passing moment, she was getting more nervous—an emotion she wasn’t prone to. For that reason, Paris worked hard not to look at anyone else behind the headmistress. She couldn’t bear to see Professor Shannon Butcher scowling at her or Hemingway offering her a sideways smile or Chef Ash giving her an encouraging look or Mae Ling’s studious expression. Paris didn’t want to let any of them down. Also, she didn’t want to give Professor Butcher the satisfaction of knowing that she flustered her.

  “Your challenge for this exam is simple and complex.” Headmistress Starr pulled a wand from her blue gown. She pointed at one side of the grassy lawn beside Paris and from the ground sprang up the figure of a woman. She then pointed at the opposite side, roughly fifteen feet away, and a man shot up out of nowhere. “To complete this exam successfully, all you must do is help these two matches find love. They’re holograms and therefore not real, but they’re programmed to act in a prescribed manner. For your purposes, you should know that they’re compatible, already have calculated chemistry, and on paper should form a very happy couple. However, a fairy godmother’s biggest challenge is always trying to get two people who should be together on the same page. It isn’t as easy as putting two well-suited people together so they fall in love. Many complicated factors inevitably get in the way. Your job is to help them to overcome that so true love can blossom. With that, we’ll allow you to play matchmaker. Best of luck, Paris.”

  The headmistress took a step backward, leaving Paris standing between an illusion of a Cinderella and a Prince Charming, making her feel more pressure than she’d ever felt before.

  Chapter Fifty-Four

  “Heeeeyyy,” Paris sang while nervously looking between the woman and the man, who both stood somewhat stoically. However, there was no doubt that affection for each other radiated in their eyes. Paris didn’t know what chemistry looked like, but it felt like they were drawn to one another. The question for her was how did she push two people together who were meant to be with one another?

  Shouldn’t they be with each other if they were meant to be? she reasoned. But then, where was the job of fairy godmothers? No, there had to be more to it than that. That meant sometimes people were supposed to be together, but something prevented them. And that’s hopefully the job the fairy godmothers served.

  So how do I get these two who have the hots for each other to get over their nervousness and match up? Paris thought while looking between the two lovers, realizing that all the professors’ eyes were on her, which did little to help her nervousness.

  She waved the illusion of the guy over. “Hey, come over here. I have someone I want you to meet.”

  He glanced over his shoulder and back, pointed at his chest, and mouthed the word, “Me?”

  “Yes, you,” Paris answered with a grunt.

  The guy’s gaze darted to the woman on the other side of Paris, then to her. He slid his hands into his pockets and casually but cautiously strode forward. The girl pushed her hair behind her ear, a cute little flirty gesture as she regarded the ground.

  “There we go.” Paris looked between the pair when the guy had closed the distance. “This is…” Paris held her hand out to the girl.

  She coughed nervously. “Cheryl.”

  “Great,” Paris stated. “And this is…” She looked at the guy.

  “Phillip,” he supplied.

  “Perfect.” Paris suddenly felt like this might be easy. “Cheryl, this is Phillip.”

  They nodded at each other, averting their gazes as if they were afraid of one another.

  Realizing that these two had a spark that she could feel radiating between them but were going to make this difficult, Paris chewed on her lip. This was the question. How did she get two people together who had a connection? The answer seemed obvious, and yet, she didn’t know what to do.

  “So Phillip, you’re into…” Paris let the sentence trail off, hoping he’d answer it.

  “Boxing,” he answered diligently.

  “Great,” Paris said. “And Cheryl, you’re into?”

  “Classic poetry,” the woman supplied.

  Paris deflated. Oh, perfect, she thought sarcastically. What better way to connect and fall in love than discussing one’s interests in boxing and classic poetry?

  Phillip regarded Cheryl with keen interest, his eyes lustful for her. The way that Cheryl swayed reminded Paris of how girls acted when pining for a guy’s affections. There was something between them, but how did she get them to explore that? To fall and cross the gap toward each other.

  Maybe she was trying too hard, Paris reasoned.

  “Anyway,” she said with a jovial laugh. “I got two tickets to the boxing match tonight, followed by dinner at a place called Shakespeare. I can’t go, and was hoping that you two would take my tickets and reservations? Seems like the perfect type of date for you two.”

  Cheryl twisted her lips in hesitation. “I have to get up early tomorrow morning.”

  Phillip jerked his head to the side, looking away. “Yeah, and I better not go out. I have a lot of work to do.”

  Paris deflated, wondering if she should shove one of the love birds into the other. Maybe that would seal the deal. “Okay, well, how about this? We make it an early night. Just a drink? My treat. At a sports bar? Wine bar? Wherever you all want.”

  Cheryl nervously pushed her hair behind both ears at once. “I shouldn’t…Tomorrow…”

  “You have to get up early,” Paris muttered dryly.

  “Yeah, and I shouldn’t either,” Phillip stated regretfully, that longing still bouncing around in his eyes.

  “You have work,” Paris added, disappointed.

  “Sorry, maybe another time.” Cheryl took a step backward.

  “Yeah, I wish it had worked out,” Phillip offered, also stepping backward.

  The two were moving away from each other to Paris’ horror. She jerked her head back and forth, looking between the two figures that were now farther apart than when they started.

  “Wait,” she said, suddenly desp
erate, wondering what she could do to make them fall in love. Her head jerked back and forth, but her mind didn’t come up with a solution. Within seconds, both the man and woman had disappeared, leaving Paris alone and with a very heavy weight on her heart—she’d failed her exam.

  Chapter Fifty-Five

  “Paris,” Headmistress Starr said in a sensitive voice, stepping up next to her. “I’m sorry to inform you that you’ve failed your exam.”

  Paris couldn’t help it. Her head automatically fell, hanging low in defeat.

  “Unfortunately, after your performance today in the classes, combined with your exam results,” Willow stated, “that means that you can’t attend Happily Ever After College. It doesn’t seem that you’d be a good fit for our curriculum or in the role of a fairy godmother. This is very regrettable, but I hope you’ve enjoyed your time here.”

  Paris couldn’t bear to look at the headmistress or the professors behind her. It was strange that in such a short period, many people had already felt like they could be friends. Paris had hope for her future there. She had wanted one at Happily Ever After College, but now that felt like a dream that she shouldn’t have gotten attached to, especially so quickly.

  Unwilling to look at anyone or the manor where all the students were probably looking out the windows at Paris failing, she turned to face the conservatory. She was grateful that she didn’t have any possessions she needed to retrieve. That would make leaving that much easier.

  “I understand.” Paris held her chin high and looked at the glassed-in room. “Thanks for the opportunity. I’ll show myself out.”

  Behind her, she heard Willow draw in a breath. “But…”

  Before Headmistress Starr could fully object, Paris set off, striding forward through the conservatory, down the long hallway, and for the front door to FGE. Faraday would meet her on the front lawn. Then they’d portal back to Roya Lane, where unfortunately, Paris would have to tell her Uncle John that she’d failed and had to go to jail. That was the worst part for her. Not going to jail. She could deal with that. Disappointing him, that hurt the most.