Rehabbing the Beast

by Abbie Zanders

  “You said I was sadistic, too, remember?” she reminded him, crossing her arms over her chest to hide her body’s physical (and humiliating) reaction to him. It wasn’t the fall chill in the air that had her nipples pebbling beneath the soft cotton, and this time she didn’t have the concealing comfort of heavy scrubs to cover them.

  His nostrils flared and those icy blue eyes glittered, as if he knew. “Before it was just a guess on my part. Now I know for sure.”

  “Is that why you came here, Seth?” she asked, suddenly feeling drained. She’d forgotten how intense a few minutes in his presence could be. “To tell me how much you hate me? Or are you really going to make good on all those threats to kill me and hide my body where no one will ever find it?”

  His eyes widened slightly, then his lips quirked. “Did I really say that?”

  “Yes,” she nodded emphatically. “Repeatedly.”

  “Oh.” He seemed almost regretful. “Well, no, actually, that’s not why I’m here.”

  “Why are you here then?”

  Seth took a step toward her. Quinn backed up. Seth took another step. So did Quinn. They continued until Quinn’s back was pressed up against the wall on the far side of the room and Seth was close enough for her to feel the heat radiating from his much larger body.

  “Because I needed to know that you were all right,” he whispered, lifting his hand and gently tracing the pads of his fingers over the left side of her face. The bruises had long since faded, but a few fine lines remained, tiny but stark reminders of the incident. “Are you all right, Quinn?”

  “Y-yes,” she stammered. She was terrified and excited at the same time, unable to move. Despite the roughness of his hands, his touch was so gentle, almost tender. She realized then that Seth had never actually touched her before outside of incidental contact. She had always been the one touching him.

  “I heard you lost some vision in that eye. Is that true?”

  “Y-yes.”

  “Hmmm,” he hummed, studying her face carefully. She could feel his warm, moist breath whispering across her skin, a delicious mix of peppermint and chocolate.

  She began to grow lightheaded as his nearness, his heat, enveloped her. Quinn reached deep within for the strength to resist. She could not allow herself to lose the tenuous grip she had on her emotions, not in front of Seth. She had to put some space between them so she could think straight.

  “Is that all you wanted?” she managed to ask, her voice betraying her.

  “No,” he breathed, crowding even closer so that her lips were just a hair away from the pulse in his neck. Quinn felt his heat, inhaled his unique scent, a heady combination of musk and spice and soap. “There’s something else I came for as well.” With those words, he lowered his head and brushed his lips over hers.

  After her initial surprise, she softened beneath him, and before she could fully process what was happening, he deepened the kiss. His hand went around her waist while his tongue skimmed her lips, begging for entrance.

  She gave it to him.

  “Push me away, Cupcake,” he said roughly, leaning his forehead against hers.

  “No,” she whispered, her eyes dazed. Her hands were on his chest, fisting into his shirt, but not to push him away. To hold on.

  This was all she had ever wanted; everything she had ever dreamed of. To be held in the arms of a man she loved; to be kissed by him. It was the first time in her life that she had allowed a man to touch her without the intent of doing her harm. She could not let that go so easily. She wouldn’t.

  “Jesus, Quinn.”

  His words cut through the haze and gave her the strength to do what he’d asked. She pushed lightly at his chest, just enough to squeeze out of his grasp and step to the side. She breathed heavily, her heart pounding as if she had just run a sprint.

  She’d let herself get carried away by Seth and his unexpected kiss. Relinquishing whatever control she’d had left her weak. She leaned against the table to catch her breath and chanced a quick glance at Seth. He looked every bit as stricken as she felt.

  “Quinn, lass, are ye ready?” Siobhan stepped into the room and stopped as soon as she saw Quinn’s face, ashen and pained. “Och, child, what is it?”

  “N-nothing,” Quinn said, giving her grandmother a shaky smile. “Just feeling a little lightheaded. I think I overdid it today, that’s all.”

  Siobhan shot a sharp, accusing glance at Seth as she went to Quinn’s side. “Ye are new here.”

  FEELING A BIT LIKE someone had just cold-cocked him upside the head, Seth looked at the woman who spoke to him with the tone of a mother scolding a small boy for doing something naughty. Under the power of her cutting gaze, that was exactly how he felt.

  Small and deceptively fragile looking, the woman’s hair was a pure, snowy white. She had familiar soft gray eyes and delicate feminine features. The woman could only be Quinn’s grandmother. She was still quite beautiful, a vision of what Quinn would look like in another fifty years.

  She glared at him, demanding a response. Seth nodded as the woman cupped her hands around Quinn’s now-pale face.

  “Well don’ just stand there, ye great oaf. Fetch me a chair afore the child faints.” Seth heard her, but he was still reeling from what had just happened. The final aftershocks were just fading when Malcolm MacDougal poked his head in.

  “Siobhan, Rory’s got the cart waiting out—Jesu! Rory, get in here, boy!” Malcolm’s rich voice and the urgency with which he spoke rang palpably through the room and beyond. In a matter of seconds, a younger version of Malcolm flew into the room. He took one look at Quinn and immediately scooped her up into his arms as if she was a child.

  “Don’t worry, Quinn,” he said soothingly. “I’ve got you.”

  Rory’s voice held way too much affection, and the sight of him holding Quinn had Seth’s inner beast crouching and preparing for attack.

  Others started crowding into the doorway, looking at Quinn then shooting daggers at Seth. The acceptance he found in the pub the night before was lost in their obvious concern for Quinn.

  “What did you do to her?” angry voices demanded.

  “Nothing. He didn’t do anything to me,” Quinn’s voice called out as she pushed ineffectively at Rory’s shoulder. “I’m fine, Rory. It was just a little dizzy spell from overdoing it. You can let me down now.”

  Instead of listening, Rory tighten his grasp. “Not yet, Quinn,” he said quietly as his eyes bore holes into Seth. “You’re shaking like a leaf.”

  “Here, give her this.” Someone shoved a glass of brandy into Siobhan’s hands and she lifted it to Quinn’s lips. Quinn put her hand around her grandmother’s and sipped. Within seconds, the color began returning to her face.

  “Put her in the cart, Rory,” Siobhan commanded quietly. She had no need to raise her voice, Seth noted. When Siobhan Brennan spoke, the grumbling stopped. Rory nodded, and with one last, scathing look at Seth, left with Quinn in his arms, her head laying against his shoulder.

  “Malcolm, if ye can give us a ride, I’d be much obliged.”

  “Anything, Siobhan,” Malcolm said, following Rory outside.

  “Go on then with the rest of ye,” Siobhan commanded, waving her hand. Like chastised boys they walked sullenly from the room, but their eyes promised retribution.

  Siobhan sighed. “Men,” she lamented, shaking her head. “Too much testosterone and not enough brains.”

  She crossed the room and regarded Seth, blocking his way when he would have followed Quinn.

  “You’re him, are ye no’?”

  Seth looked down at her from his much greater height. She looked straight through Seth’s eyes and right into the beast’s. The beast sat up straight, and stared back, stunned. No one ever looked at the beast, no one ever saw the beast.

  “Him?” Seth blinked. His heartbeat had finally returned to normal. The last of Quinn’s warmth faded, along with the overall feeling of well-being. His limbs felt heavy and lethargic. He di
dn’t like it. Not at all.

  “Aye. The one my granddaughter’s been pining for all this time.”

  Seth’s eyes widened. He wouldn’t have been surprised if Quinn had spoken of him, but only in terms of being the rotten, abusive bastard that had given her a hard time over and over again. But the man she was pining for? That almost made it sound like she cared for him, and that was a possibility he’d never even dared to consider. How could she, with the way he had treated her?

  Then again, Quinn Brennan was turning out to be nothing at all like he’d imagined. The little bit he’d glimpsed over all those months was just the tip of the iceberg. The tiny woman who had given him back his life and unknowingly stolen his heart in the process was making him realize that as smart as he thought he was, he didn’t have a fucking clue.

  “I—”

  “Doona tell me ye dinna ken or I’ll think even less of ye than I do right now,” she warned, her gray eyes flashing. “Ye stupid bastard,” she added for good measure.

  Seth didn’t know whether he should be insulted or amused. Grown men didn’t dare speak to him that way, let alone a wizened old grandma less than half his size. At least he knew now where Quinn got her spirit. His eyes narrowed.

  “And doona look at me like that, bauchaill.” Seth blinked. Had she just called him a little boy?

  “Listen te me and heed well. Doona be followin’ us now. Go back te your room and think long and hard about what ye want with my Quinn. Then tomorrow at mid-day, ye will either find yer way te my cabin te woo her properly with the intent of marrying her or ye will get your arse back te whatever rock ye crawled out from under and never let her set eyes upon yer cursed flesh again.”

  With that, Siobhan turned her back on him, leaving him too stunned to speak for several minutes. He heard the clip clop of horses—horses? —going by, before he finally thought to move. When he stepped outside, he was met with the glares of at least a dozen townsfolk. Some were furious, some were curious, but all were looking at him.

  Still reeling, he turned and walked back to the bed and breakfast.

  Chapter Ten

  It was official, he thought as he paced his large, comfortable room. For the first time in his life, he was completely at a loss. Even the near total decimation of his body hadn’t left him feeling quite so shaken.

  The beast, no longer content to sulk in the corner, paced back and forth within him.

  His reality—or, as he was forced to admit, his perception of it—was flawed. The woman he thought of as meek and indifferent was actually a caring soul who had been forced to build walls around herself to survive a lifetime of abuse, both mental and physical. The therapist he’d thought was skilled turned out to be an honest-to-God healer. And most shocking of all, if Siobhan was correct, Quinn actually cared for him as more than a patient.

  How was that possible? Even with the strides he’d made (thanks to her), he was still damaged goods. Damaged goods that had treated her so horribly when she had done nothing to deserve it...except wrap herself around his heart against his will and remind him of what he could never have.

  But what if he could have what his heart truly desired? What if, against all logic, Quinn could really be his? More importantly, that she would want to claim him as hers?

  The very idea was life-altering. Epic.

  The question now was, what was he going to do about it?

  He’d always been a man with a strong sense of duty and purpose. There had always been a goal to achieve, a task to complete. It was one of the reasons he’d done so well in the military. Given an objective, he achieved it. The only thought involved was that required to get from one step to the next until the mission was accomplished. When one was done, he’d be assigned another.

  Simple. Clean. Cold.

  For the first time in his life, Seth doubted himself. It was hard to realize that nothing was what it seemed; hard not to question his own judgment. Even the beast was quiet, waiting to see what he would do next.

  The clear sense of purpose he’d always taken for granted had deserted him. He knew what he wanted; that was easy enough: Quinn Brennan, in his arms, beside him, beneath him. He wanted to make her forget every bad thing that had ever happened to her until she could think of nothing but him and what he could make her feel for a change.

  Except this wasn’t a one-time thing. The decision he made here, tonight, would affect his entire life. And not just his, either. More importantly, it would affect Quinn’s. If there was one thing Seth did know for certain, it was that he would not do anything that might cause Quinn even one more moment of pain or sadness. She’d had more than enough of both and it was well past time that someone changed that. But could he be that person?

  There was no logic he could look to for guidance, because none of it made sense. Seth reached inside himself, searching for that familiar rage that had burned within him his entire life. Whenever he’d experienced a moment of uncertainty, he’d given himself over to that inner beast and let it rule. But that cold, angry beast was gone. It had disappeared the moment his lips had touched Quinn’s. That single kiss had done something nothing else had ever been able to do: it tamed the animal inside him.

  The once snarling, savage beast now lay quietly, waiting, whimpering softly for Quinn. The heart he once thought incapable of loving anyone was now hopelessly in love with her. But was he good enough?

  No, he answered. He wasn’t. He didn’t deserve her. And yet... she was giving him a chance, and he’d never wanted anything more in his life.

  Seth dropped on the bed and covered his face with his hands. He had a lot of thinking to do.

  A FEW MILES AWAY, QUINN sat in the comfortable chair with blankets tucked around her legs and a bottomless glass of brandy in her hand. Rory kept her company while Malcolm and Siobhan talked quietly. From what she could gather—and this made no sense to her at all—Seth O’Rourke had some kind of blood ties to the MacDougals. Even more confusing, it sounded as though Siobhan had issued Seth an ultimatum.

  The more alcohol Quinn imbibed, the clearer things became. Siobhan knew exactly who Seth was. More importantly, she knew what Seth was to Quinn. Her heartmate. Her croie. Just as the healing gift was passed down from one generation to another, so was the ability to recognize a true soul mate. The one man who was capable of bonding with her on a level so deep and pure that even the most romantic of poetry couldn’t do it justice. A man strong enough to handle the magic and ensure the bloodline continued.

  It was not something a gifted woman could control. Whatever phenomena gave her the ability to heal and nurture also subconsciously analyzed every male she came in contact with, searching for whatever it was that made two souls so perfectly bondable.

  The moment Quinn had first put her hands on Seth O’Rourke, the search was over.

  Unfortunately, none of that mattered. Despite her soul’s completely insane insistence that Seth was the one for her and her grandmother’s meddling, Seth O’Rourke would not be appearing at her door tomorrow at high noon to ask for her hand in marriage. The very idea was absurd. Seth despised her.

  But that kiss... that had been something. She had no idea a kiss could be like that. The softest brush across her lips and then—boom! It was as if her mind had exploded and she’d lost her ability for rational thought. For those few seconds—or had it been minutes?—nothing else had existed. Without conscious thought, she had felt herself flowing into him, desperate and hungry for the haven she so craved, for the inner peace her soul believed only he could give her.

  For those few moments, it had been so glorious even Quinn had started to believe in the possibilities.

  Then he’d asked her to push him away.

  Afterward, he had stood there in silence, doing nothing when Rory lifted her into his arms protectively and carried her away. If Seth truly was her heartmate, wouldn’t he have tried to stop Rory? Wouldn’t he have felt compelled to help her instead of allowing another man do so? Wouldn’t he at least have said
something?

  Her head pounded and her chest ached. She didn’t want to accept the most obvious answer, the answer she had come to accept long ago: Seth O’Rourke was not interested in her.

  Quinn sighed and closed her eyes, willing the tears not to fall. He was probably already long gone.

  Chapter Eleven

  Seth paced the small guest room until his legs ached, then paced some more. Sleep was impossible. He replayed the events of the last week in his mind, analyzing everything he’d learned over and over again. He tried looking at it from every possible angle, rationalizing and theorizing until he couldn’t see straight from it.

  What the hell had he been thinking, coming to Erehwon? It was true that he wanted to see for himself that Quinn was okay. After all, she’d gotten hurt trying to protect him, which still baffled the hell out of him. Why had she done that? Wouldn’t she have rather seen Dave beat the shit out of him? God knew, he’d deserved it. He’d practically been begging for it since he first realized that Quinn was an angel—pure and perfect and completely beyond his reach.

  God, he wanted her so badly and had, from that very first time he’d seen her. He’d opened his eyes and there she was, smiling at him as if he was a person instead of a raging beast. She had changed his entire world that day, became a constant reminder of what he could never have: a normal life.

  It hadn’t stopped there. Quinn had taunted him, day in and day out. With her big heart and those soft gray eyes and the hands that regenerated every fucking nerve in his entire body until there was not a cell that didn’t burn for her.

  He’d tried to push her away, he really had. He’d said horrible, vicious things. Called her unthinkable names and constantly beat down her self-confidence, hating himself more with every cruel taunt that passed his lips, lips that wanted nothing more than to worship her. And just when he’d thought he’d finally broken her spirit, she’d look at him with those big eyes, smile patiently, and come back for more.