Orc Pirate: Raiding the Seven Seas

by Simon Archer

  “Truly, ‘tis no problem,” I answered. A minor hex would dump all the bold orc’s gear wherever I deemed appropriate… or was that against the captain’s rules? I didn’t want to earn his ire my first day aboard.

  “I know ye can probably hex it all into the sea, Miss,” Nagra said as if she could read my mind, “or curse Tarvak’s dick with the pox if he ain’t already afflicted, but he really ain’t a bad sort. He just ain’t tidy at all. I mean, look at this mess o’ shit.” With that, the she-orc started to bustle around and gather the hapless sailor's possessions into a pile.

  “Call me Mary,” I offered. “We’re shipmates, aye?”

  “Aye,” she said after a brief pause. Her eyes met mine for a moment before she looked down, her green skin darkening. “‘Tis just embarrassing to see the place like this, Mary. The captain likes a tight ship, but some o’ the men…” Her voice trailed off as she went back to tidying.

  I just stood back and let her, my arms folded beneath my breasts as I leaned against the wall beside the door to watch. My thoughts wandered to the captain, Bardak Skullsplitter. Most warrior orcs sported descriptive surnames like that, although maybe they were actual family names. Did he have a missus? Any little Skullsplitters running around her ankles as she kept a house somewhere?

  Somehow, I rather doubted it. Much as many sailors had women in different ports and even families, Bardak didn’t seem the type.

  Wishful thinking, silly girl, a part of me said. Why would a man like that care for a tiny spit of a thing like you when he probably had orc women throwing themselves at his feet? I really couldn’t help myself, I’d happily join right in and pray he chose me.

  I shook my head and sighed. My gaze went up to the wooden ceiling. It was low for an orc, but plenty high for me, with the telltale burns and discolorations that marked it as a practitioner’s lab as well as a bunkroom. Sometimes our hexes and spells went a little… awry.

  I only then noticed there was silence in the room. I turned to look at Nagra who had paused and gazed at me with pursed lips.

  “Something?” I demanded, maybe a bit sharper than intended, and when she flinched, a touch of guilt ran through me.

  “Nothin’, Miss,” she replied and went back to her work.

  I closed my eyes and sighed. “I’m sorry. It’s been a demon’s own day, and I’m far from a hot bath, new clothes, and a long sleep.” My fingers ached and itched from the iron witchbindings. I had a few bruises, too. Arde’s men hadn’t abused me, fearing either my changeling nature or the Commodore’s displeasure, but they hadn’t handled me like fine china, either.

  The she-orc paused and looked up at me, then smiled around her tusks. They were small, barely noticeable, really. If she hadn’t been green, she could have almost passed for a burly human woman.

  “I can arrange a bath for ye, Mary,” she said happily. “We might have some clothes that’ll fit ye, too.”

  “Could you bring me a sewing kit while you’re at it?” I asked gratefully. “I’m so damned short that I’m used to having to modify everything I find.”

  “Aye!” She had gathered up what was hopefully all of Tarvak’s belongings and piled them in a sheet. “I’ll do that, and get ye clean bedclothes, too.”

  A sudden rush of delight poured through me, and I gave the she-orc a delighted smile.

  “Thank you!” I gushed. “Thank you, thank you, thank you.”

  Nagra nodded vigorously, threw the improvised sack over her shoulder, and slipped out, kicking the door shut behind her.

  “Bar it, or ye might get company if Tarvak forgets he’s lost squatter’s rights!” she shouted through the door. “I’ll knock for ye once I’ve got everything!”

  “Aye!” I called back.

  The deck swayed under my feet, and I distantly heard the sounds of the crew at work. That was the moment when it truly hit me. I was free! A few short steps and I planted my backside in the wooden chair that sat beside my new desk. I was also, it seemed, a pirate witch.

  That suited me just fine. I’d love the chance to poke out the Commodore’s eyes for his betrayal and flay my so-called sisters for leaving me to him. What hold did the son-of-a-bitch have over them that they’d abandon me?

  Maybe there was more to it than that. The Sisterhood was weird about fey-blooded witches like we weren’t to be trusted or something equally inane. I’d never heard of a changeling betraying their coven, but I’d always been something of an outsider because of my blood.

  My temper flared. I wanted to make everyone who’d wronged me pay. As the rage began to call on my magic, I fought it back under control. It was never easy, but I’d gotten pretty good at keeping myself from lashing out. One day I’d be truly able to cut loose, but it wasn’t today.

  What would I do? That was simple, I’d be the best damn witch that I could be and prove that I was worthy of the trust that Bardak had offered me. He hadn’t asked for a name-bond. I’d given it freely and of my own will when the impulse hit me. There was a destiny there, I was certain. Captain Bardak Skullsplitter was something special.

  Once I had tools again, I’d throw a divination, but I suspected he’d loom large over any fate that awaited me, and there was a strange comfort in that. A warm feeling grew in my lower belly, an early indicator of the desires that plagued me as a part of my changeling nature. For me to turn a man away was against that part of me, yet I’d told the Commodore to go spill his seed elsewhere in no uncertain terms.

  Bardak though… I imagined his hands on me, his body warm against mine. My thoughts drifted further, only broken by tapping on the barred door. Surprised, I bolted to my feet, eyes wide.

  “‘Tis me!” Nagra called through, and I rushed to unbar the way.

  I hoped that she didn’t notice my blush as she came in, a large tub in her arms. Behind her, a burly orc, not quite as broad as the captain but younger and missing an eye, easily carried a large sea-chest.

  They moved into the room as I cleared the way. Nagra’s helper set down the chest with surprising gentleness, nodded politely, and disappeared back the way he’d come while she placed the tub in the rough center of the cabin. It was clean and shiny, but obviously well used, and built to accommodate an orc.

  Hopefully, I wouldn’t drown in it.

  The she-orc reached into a belt pouch and held up a pair of stones which I immediately recognized. Both were polished smooth, each about the size and shape of a hen’s egg. One was a mottled red and yellow, and the other blue and green.

  “I’ll be damned,” I muttered. “Fire and water stones. Those must’ve cost a ship’s ransom.”

  “Taken as booty from a Milnest ship,” Nagra said with a grin. “I figured them out, so the Captain made me their keeper. We have all the water we need, and a way to heat it.”

  I held out my hand, and she placed the stones carefully in it, and the size of her hand suddenly reminded me that I walked with giants. Both stones resonated with magic that caused the hair on my arm to stick straight up.

  “Gods above and below,” I swore. “These are greater elemental stones!” I turned my eyes up to Nagra and gave her an appraising look. “You figured out the command words?”

  Nagra nodded. “I just… listened. None of the boys were patient, but I was.”

  “You realize that hearing the voice of these stones means that you’re magic sensitive,” I explained. “Would you like me to teach you more?”

  The chance to train an apprentice caused my heart to leap in my chest. I prayed the young she-orc would take the offer.

  She froze and blinked at me. “Yer serious?”

  I nodded and handed the stones back. “Show me how they work.

  Nagra was an interesting case to me. She was both bold and assertive yet conflicted. There was something that she was afraid of. Disapproval? Maybe. I couldn’t imagine any orc fearing a physical threat, but it was always possible. I watched closely as she spoke to each stone and then set them in the bathtub.

  It filled
up rather quickly with steaming water, but when it was at the halfway mark, she reached in and grabbed both stones, spoke to them again and drew them out. The stones were almost eager to follow her command, and that meant there was no argument left. This orc had witch or mage talent.

  “I’m very serious, Nagra,” I reiterated. “If you’re interested, then I’ll talk to the captain with you.”

  She answered with a slow nod, her brow furrowed as she weighed what I’d said. “Aye, Mary. If ye think I can.”

  “If you could hear the elements whisper in the stones, then you’ve got some talent. We might as well explore it, aye?”

  A grin spread over Nagra’s broad featured face. “Aye!”

  Since the bath was ready, I stripped out of my grimy prison smock and slipped in, sinking into the hot water up to my chin.

  “Oh, gods…” I moaned as I closed my eyes. “Hot water, how I’ve missed thee.”

  “Soap?” Nagra asked hopefully.

  I opened my eyes. “Please. What’s in the chest?”

  The she-orc pressed a rough-hewn bar of a spicy-smelling soap into my outstretched hand. It was elven made unless I missed my guess. Probably taken at the same time as the elemental stones. Nagra handed me a rough cloth rag as well, and I nodded to her.

  “Clothes,” she answered my question after taking a seat at the desk. “Some were plunder, others are from the other girls. Maybe some will fit ye.”

  “Thank ye kindly,” I said sincerely. The warmth of the bath was sinking into me, relaxing my sore muscles and easing all the aches from bruises and strains I hadn’t even known I had. My eyes closed, and I squirmed a bit so I could lean back and duck my head under. Hair like mine needed occasional attention, else it turned into a tangled mess. It was thick and curly, black as night with faint blue highlights in the right light, but so fine and long that it loved to get into a twist unless I gave it its due. Of course, I’d never want my hair cut short, it was one of my vanities, after all.

  When I came up with a gasp and pushed the wet mass back on my head, I opened my eyes to see Nagra gazing at me with concern.

  “What?” I asked with a quirky smile on my lips.

  She shook her head and looked down for a moment. “I was worried you were hurt. You have a lot of bruises.”

  “Aye, my captors were none too gentle, I’m afraid.” I soaped up my hair, working my fingers through the tangles as I did, then began working on my body with soap and rag.

  It took a long while for me to get clean to my satisfaction, and I was sure it looked like pure vanity to the she-orc, but she remained good company all the while as we chatted with me about casual nothings. Eventually, I got to paw through the clothes and selected something that was quite a bit like my new friend’s outfit.

  I’d have to make a few adjustments, of course, for a perfect fit, but I was satisfied in a rather tight and revealing vest of red with red and white striped pantaloons that reached barely below my knees. None of the boots would fit, of course, but maybe the place we were bound to would be able to accommodate me.

  With a grin, I looked over at Nagra. “So, what do ye think?”

  Her eyes brightened, and she grinned right back. “I think ye’ll fit right in.”

  4

  What we called the War Room, basically The Hullbreaker’s navigation room, sat below the poop deck on the aft of the ship. The walls were hung with trophies of various sorts, skulls, human and elven mostly, and flags and weapons taken from the ships we’d captured. Elven swords dominated, some crossed, some alone, but all bore the signs of heavy wear, and a few were broken. Most of the flags, too, were from captured Milnian ships, though a small number were from rival privateers. Dim oil lamps gave us enough light to see by, especially with our night-trained eyes. Everything swayed slightly with the motion of the ship.

  There were maps, too, including a large one laid out on the table that dominated the middle of the room.

  Kargad and I leaned over that map as I pointed to a small island not far from where the marker, a rat skull, indicated The Hullbreaker’s position.

  “I figure Jetsam here will be a safe enough place to resupply. It’s unaligned, mostly greenskin, and no friend to the Admiralty,” I said thoughtfully.

  My first mate nodded, chuckled, then looked shrewdly over at me. “So what’s the plan, Captain? The Admiralty backstabbed us, we’re on our own, and the gold won’t last forever.”

  “Then we take more,” I replied with a shrug and a grin. “Hoist the black flag and do what orcs do best.”

  “Nothin’, if you listen to the Empire’s line,” Kargad snorted.

  I nodded, took a deep breath, and blew it out. “Before the Empire, tales speak of the great war hordes that would sweep out of the mountains, fighting and pillaging and driving all the humans and elves before them. Something changed, though, and the Usurper worked out a deal with the tribes. He used them to conquer the Empire, then set a choking leash around them.”

  “We both were born after that leash was in place, Captain.” My first mate crossed his arms and gazed at me with hooded eyes. “No one had ever heard of orc sailors before you and your obsession with the sea.”

  I waved a hand around to the navigation room and the ship beyond. “Yet here we are.”

  “Aye,” he said. “Undefeated, and with more kills and captures than any other ship in the fleet.” His voice drifted off for a moment before he grumbled, “Well, damn me for a fool.”

  “You see it, don’t you?” I loved making Kargad think. The conclusions stuck with him a lot better than if I just told him something.

  He nodded slowly. “Bloody bastards don’t want word gettin’ out. If our success reaches the ears of the common orc…”

  “Then Blackburn will have a mutiny on his hands.” I slammed a fist into the table, making it jump. “We have to do this, y’see?”

  “We ain’t exactly a crew o’ patriots, Cap’n,” Kargad said with a grimace. “Most of the orcs are tribeless. The dwarves and humans, too. Nothin’ but exiles and criminals, all.”

  I stared down at the map and its depiction of the northern sea and its islands and archipelagos. Far to the east was the mainland of Erdrath, and to the west were the lands of Milnest. Their war had been a stalemate for the last five years with Erdrath and Milnest both being fairly evenly matched. That was changing, though.

  “We are a tribe,” I said firmly, still gazing at the map. “Every scurvy dog on this waterlogged floating deathtrap is Hullbreaker tribe.” When I raised my head to gaze at my first mate, he was grinning broadly.

  “That’s why you’re the captain, Bardak.” He folded his arms and one green, pointed ear perked. “Company’s coming.”

  At that moment, someone knocked on the door.

  “Ass,” I muttered before I yelled, “Enter!”

  Mary, the changeling witch, opened the door tentatively and scanned the room. “I was wondering if I could speak with you, Captain.”

  I nodded and motioned her forward. “What do you need?”

  “Well,” she offered. “It’s about Nagra-”

  “Bloody hells!” Kargad swore. “What’s she done, now?”

  “Kargad!” I bellowed.

  He froze and raised his hands placatingly. “Sorry, Cap’n, sorry, witchy-woman.”

  Mary watched the situation appraisingly, and I was certain she’d made note of the exchange.

  “Nagra has magical potential, Captain,” she continued after a moment, “and with your permission, I’d like to train her.”

  Kargad and I looked at each other, then at the witch. He spoke first.

  “Are ye serious, lass?”

  The witch nodded. “There might be others in the crew with potential, too.” Her eyes met mine and lingered. “‘Twould certainly give your crew an edge, aye?”

  Mary was right, magic would give us an edge over most any ship that wasn’t Admiralty, and enough skilled casters would even turn that tide. My mind started to wander, ima
gining a fleet at my call and an army of buccaneers and witches.

  “Aye,” I answered, “it would.”

  “Nagra is a witch?” Kargad said as disbelief fairly dripped from his voice. There was something else there, too.

  Pride.

  “I’m certain she’s got some kind of talent for magic,” Mary replied. “She said she figured out the elemental stones that you took from the elves.”

  “Aye,” I said. “She did, said they whispered to her or something…”

  Kargad puffed up and grinned like an idiot. Mary blinked in confusion and looked between the two of us. Even she could see something was up, and I started laughing at the expression on her face.

  “Sorry, lass.” I grinned. “Nagra’s me First Mate’s daughter and learnin’ she’s special is quite the treat for him.”

  “Oh,” she said as the realization hit her. “Oh! Well, does that mean that you don’t mind me teaching her, Captain?”

  “I don’t see why not,” I replied, smirking a bit as I regarded Kargad thoughtfully. “If I didn’t, I’d probably have a mutiny on me hands.”

  “I’ll just take my leave, then.” Mary nodded slowly, her eyes narrowed a bit as she started to turn.

  “Hold a bit, lass,” I said as I raised a hand. “You joined my crew and name-bonded as The Hullbreaker’s witch, and that entitles you to take part in these little war councils.”

  Kargad gathered himself and nodded, a big, stupid grin still on his broad features. I just shook my head and pointed to the map.

  “We’re headed to a neutral town called Jetsam to do a little refitting and get you what you need,” I explained.

  She went stock still, and the color drained from her face. “That might be a problem, Captain,” the witch said, then reached up and rubbed the bridge of her nose. “‘Tis a non-human settlement, aye?”