Whispers of Winter: A Limited Edition Collection of Winter Romances

by Nicole Morgan

  Austin leapt up, pushing his chair backwards, the wooden feet screeching against the tile floor. “But if you still dance, then you’re not broken,” he said. He held my hands in his and my skin tingled from his touch. “Why you dance, where you dance, when you dance … all that doesn’t matter. All that matters is that you never stop dancing.”

  Hearing his words, my heart ached a little less than it had in years. Austin pulled me in close and kissed my cheek. I closed my eyes and leaned into his lips. He racked his hands through my hair, pushing my head back and pressed his lips to mine. Yes. I wanted to give myself to him. I wanted to be his, for him to be mine. Yes. Austin. His tongue pressed against my lips, asking for permission to enter. I opened my mouth and allowed him in. My hands brushed up his sides, making their way around his back.

  No! I pushed him away. I couldn’t let his touch distract me. My want and desires were nothing compared to his dreams.

  “No,” I said. I put my hand to his chest to keep him at an arm’s length. “You still have a chance to live your dream. To get back to the game. To be what you’ve work your whole life for.”

  “What the hell are you talking about?” Austin’s words were tinged with laughter. “I’m so confused right now.”

  “On my way here, even after talking to Kelsey, I had every intention of telling you how I feel about you and that I wanted us to be together, like seriously together.” I began tapping my fingers to my thumb, counting. One, two, three, four. One, two, three, four. “I didn’t care what she or anyone else said or thought. I was ready to sling restraint to the breeze and take a chance. But then the more I thought about it, the more I realized that it was selfish of me to even consider it.”

  “What are you saying?” Austin pushed against my hand, trying to get closer. I stepped back, keeping the space between us, afraid if I let him close to me I’d lose my nerve.

  “I have to let you go,” I said. I could feel the pain rising in my chest, and the tears welling in my eyes. Letting him go was the right thing to do, but it didn’t make it easier. “I have to give you the chance to get back to your team, to live your dream, to be what you’ve worked so hard for. I won’t stand in the way of your happiness.”

  “You are my path to happiness,” Austin said. “Don’t you see that?”

  I closed my eyes, allowed the love to wash over me, and then reminded myself of why I was here. It’s because I love him that I must let him go. “Then find a new path,” I said. I turned my back to him, not wanting him to see my tears. “Because the only thing you’ll find with me is sadness and heartbreak.”

  “Peyton.” Austin’s voice was sad, desperate. “Please don’t do this. Just talk to me.” I grabbed the doorknob and opened the door just a crack. I looked over my shoulder and met his gaze. The sparkle was gone. I hurt him. But, I had to. It’s better to hurt him a little now then for us both to hurt a lot later.

  “Don’t follow me. Please.” I looked at him one last time. Wishing it wasn’t too late to change my mind. “Goodbye, Austin.” I quickly exited the room, and the restaurant, needing to get out before I could no longer control my tears.

  The ground is dusted with fresh snow. A steady flurry continued to fall, the snowflakes occasionally kissing the skin on my face as I made my way down the sidewalk. It’s peaceful, quiet. Almost too quiet.

  I turned back to look at Austin’s restaurant. Steak to the Heart. What kind of name is that anyway? I don’t know how many steps there are from his restaurant to my tea house. Imagining his face, his touch, his kiss … I lost count a couple times.

  Chapter Seventeen

  I had found a bit of peace for a moment. Knife, fork, spoon, wrap, stack. The repetition was soothing. Knife, fork, spoon, wrap, stack. Some people didn’t understand that. I couldn’t explain it. And most of the time I didn’t try. I didn’t care if people got it or not. It made me feel better. Knife, fork, spoon, wrap, stack.

  “Hey, you,” Jesi said. She got bigger. Wow! Look at her belly. When did that happen? “Can I sit?” I nodded and motioned to the chair. She pulled it out and wedged herself into the space. I started to stand to help her. “No,” she said. “I’m fine. I’m as big as the Goodyear blimp, but I’m fine.”

  “I’m sorry I haven’t been here for you lately,” I said. Knife, fork, spoon, wrap, stack. “I was just so confused with the whole Austin thing.”

  Jesi rubbed her hand slowly up and down her belly. “I was going to ask you about that.” She took in a deep breath and blew it out slowly. “How’s that going?

  “It’s not,” I said. Knife, fork spoon, wrap, stack. “It’s not going or staying or anything.”

  “What do you mean? I thought you guys were doing great. He’s a great guy and he adores you.”

  “Yeah, well, he is a great guy,” I hung my head as I straightened out a napkin in front of me, “But he needs to get back to his dream. He needs to go back to playing football.” Knife, fork, spoon, wrap, stack.

  “What did you do, Peyton?” Jesi gave me the mom voice. Here it comes.

  “I told him to go back,” I lifted my head and looked Jesi in the eyes. “I told him that I wasn’t going to let him stay here for me. I told him that I wasn’t going to let him give up his dream.” I tried to sound confident as I spoke. “I couldn’t do that. I wouldn’t let what happened to me, happen to him.” Jesi laughed. A small chuckle at first. But after a few seconds, she covered her mouth and her large pregnant belly shook as she laughed. “What’s so funny?” I asked.

  “What’s so funny is that you’re an idiot.” She blew out another deep breath.

  Knife, fork, spoon, wrap, stack. “Wow. Thanks.” I sat back in my chair. “I pour my heart out to you, tell you that I’m dying inside, and you call me an idiot.”

  “Yes, I did. You’re beautiful. Talented. Awesome. But you’re an idiot.” Jesi arched her back and stretched. “You think you’re being selfless, putting him first, letting him go so he can live out his dream –”

  “I am,” I abruptly interrupted.

  Jesi put her finger up to silence me. “But what you’re really doing is being selfish. You’re pushing what you want for him. Maybe what he wants is to be with you. To run his restaurant. To be a dad to his niece.”

  “But he loves football.” I thought about the memorabilia hanging on the wall of the restaurant. I remembered watching him play on television. “His whole life has been about football.”

  “Of course, he loves it. And he lived that part of life. But who are you to say that he must keep living it? Didn’t he say he was done with football?”

  “Yes, but …” Had I made a mistake? Was I wrong?

  “But what?” Jesi smirked. “What you need to do is ask him what he wants, listen to his answer – really listen – and then support him on whatever he decides, whether you agree with it or not.”

  “But I know what it feels like to have an injury take your dream away.” My heart quivered in my chest as my mind grasped to find a way to justify my actions.

  “You know what it feels like for you. Did you ever ask him what it felt like for him? Or did you just assume that it feels the same for everyone?” Jesi took in a long deep breath and blew it out through pursed lips. I turned back to my silverware. Knife, fork, spoon, wrap, stack. She wriggled out of the chair, pushed herself up, and waddled over to me. Knife, fork, spoon, wrap, stack.

  “You know I don’t like you very much right now, right?” I said. “But you’re still my person.”

  “Yep,” she said, smiling. Jesi ran her hand down my hair and kissed the top of my head. “Stop being stupid, okay? And stop pushing people away because you’re scared and just let us love you. We’re going to do it anyway.” I chuckled and watched as Jesi waddled her way out the front door to the awaiting SUV.

  I stacked a few more sets of silverware, repeating the silverware mantra with each one. Knife, fork, spoon, wrap, stack. Moving the tub filled with freshly wrapped silverware to the kitchen, I turned off the l
ights in the dining room, and heard a familiar song over the speaker. I used to dance to this. I reached down to the stereo and turned up the volume, allowing the music to fill the room.

  Austin’s words rang in my ears. It doesn’t matter why you dance. I swayed with the music. It doesn’t matter when you dance. I moved my legs, arms, bending, reaching, turning. All that matters is that you never stop dancing. I grabbed the back of one of the chairs and pulled it out, sitting down, spinning, stretching my body out over the seat. Never stop dancing. The music took me over, and I began to dance around the chair, doing moves I thought I had long forgotten. When the music stopped, my chest heaved and sank. I felt electrified.

  I smiled. It was a smile birthed from my heart, my soul, my essence.

  That felt good.

  Chapter Eighteen

  As the music faded, I heard someone clapping behind me. I turned to see Austin standing just inside the front door. Shit. I forgot to lock the door. Now I wish we still had that damn bell.

  “If this is you dancing broken,” Austin took a step into the dining room, “then when you danced before, the heavens must have opened so the gods could watch.”

  “What are you doing here?” I asked him. Trying to avoid making eye contact, I walked to the stereo and turned off the music. Austin strolled over to Angela’s favorite table and took a seat. I pushed in the chair and crossed my arms over my chest. “Austin. Seriously.”

  "I don’t care if I have to drink a shit load of tea for the rest of my life.” Austin interlaced his fingers, placed his hands on the table, and leaned forward. “I will come to this shop every day and find a new way to tell you how much I love you.”

  My stance softened, my arms fell to my sides, and my gaze met his. I couldn’t believe what I had just heard. Did he just say that? Did he mean it? “You love me?” Austin stood from the chair and slowly walked toward me, the sparkle in his eyes had returned, and he flashed me his stunning smile.

  “Yes,” he said. His fingers touched my cheek and my skin was electrified. “I love you, Peyton. If you can’t tell, I guess I’m going to have to work harder at showing you.”

  Tears welled in my eyes, but this time I didn’t turn away. They weren’t tears of sadness, of pain, of hurt. They were tears of happiness. And I wanted him to see how happy he had made me.

  Austin leaned in and gently kissed my lips. I missed his kiss. I didn’t realize how much I had missed his lips on mine until that moment. He ran his hand up my back and pulled me tight to his body. I felt his firm body, his toned muscles, his warmth. He loves me.

  “I love you, Peyton,” he said. His lips moved to my neck.

  “I love you, too, Austin.” My phone rang. It was Jesi’s ring tone. Jesi. What could she want? She was just here. Wait! The baby. “Austin, wait. It’s Jesi. I have to get that.” I spun away and grabbed my phone. I quickly hit the button to answer. “Jesi!”

  “No, this is Michael.”

  “Michael?” I was stunned, shocked, and scared. Austin stood beside me, holding my hand. “What’s wrong? Where’s Jesi?”

  “She’s in labor. Her water broke a few minutes after I picked her up. She wanted me to call you. Get here when you can.”

  “I’ll lock up and be right there.” I felt a rush of urgency as I hung up the phone and began scurrying around. Austin grabbed my wrist, pulling me to a stop.

  “Hey, slow down,” he said. “Take a breath.” I nodded and attempted to take a deep breath. “Are the ovens on?” I shook my head no. “Is the back door locked?” I nodded. “Good. Go grab your bag and your keys and I’ll drive you to the hospital.” I nodded again.

  I grabbed my bag and the keys, and we moved outside onto the sidewalk. I locked the door and then turned to Austin. He’s sweet. He generous. He’s funny. I didn’t think guys like him were real. And how did I get so lucky? He caught me staring at him.

  “What?” he asked, doing that cute little half smile thing.

  “Nothing,” I replied. “I’m just really glad you’re here.”

  “I hate waiting.” I flipped through another long-outdated magazine, scanning the pictures, not paying any attention to what I was looking at. Austin put his hand on my knee; I assumed to offer comfort. Instead, it made me more anxious. “Just another of my many flaws.” I stood up, tossed the magazine on top of the jumbled pile, and began slowly pacing the floor.

  I heard the flap of a magazine hit the pile and turned to see Austin standing in front of me. He just stood there, looking at me with that glimmer in his eye. Why is he looking at me like that?

  “What?” I said, crossing my arms over my chest. “Why are you looking at me like that?” He took a few slow, soft steps toward me.

  “I wish you could see how amazing you are,” he said. He lightly touched the skin just above my elbow. My mind wanted to pull away, but my body was paralyzed by his touch. “Your flaws make you interesting, unique, intriguing. They make you who you are. It’s because you’re flawed that I love you.”

  Thinking back to what Jesi had told me just a few hours ago. Ask him what he wants, and then listen and support whatever he says. I decided to heed her advice. I licked my dry, nearly chapped lips and steadied my nerves. “Can I ask you something?” I said.

  “Of course.” He put one hand on each of my shoulders, rubbing gently. “Anything.”

  “What do you want?” I was so fearful of the real answer that the words felt like acid on my tongue. “Honestly. If I wasn’t in your life, if you hadn’t met me, what would you be doing right now? Trying to get back to your team?”

  Austin smiled and touched my face with his fingertips. “No,” he said. “I wouldn’t. Even if I had never met you … I’m done playing football. That part of my life if over.” Austin gently grabbed my wrists, pulled my arms away from my body, and held my hands to his chest. I could feel his heartbeat against my fingers. It was beating hard, and fast. Is he nervous? “And so is my time of ‘dating’ Kelsey,” Austin said with a smirk. “I sent her home and told her not to come back, or call, and not to refer to me as her boyfriend anymore.”

  “Seriously?” I wasn’t shocked about what he told her, but I was shocked he thought she would listen and do what he asked. “And how did that go?”

  “Check her Twitter and Facebook pages,” he chuckled. She’s telling everyone that she broke up with me. That she left me for some playboy she met in Milan while on a photo shoot or something.” I laughed. He laughed. But then he lifted my chin with his knuckle and looked me in the eyes. “I never loved her. You know that, right?” I gave him a small nod. “She was just part of an image. The image I had when I was playing football. But I’m not that guy anymore.”

  “Then who are you?” I asked. “If you’re not a football player anymore, who are you now?”

  “I’m just a guy who own a restaurant,” he shrugged his shoulders. “An average Joe.” There is nothing average about you. “And I am the guy who is crazy about you.”

  I heard the ticking of the clock on the wall behind me and began counting the seconds. One, two, three, four, five …

  “Peyton,” Austin pulled me close, wrapping his arms around me. I lost count. “You keep talking about your flaws, but to me, you’re perfect.”

  “I am not perfect.” My anxiety spiked. My hands shook. My skin felt electrified. “I’m so far from perfect. All I’m going to do is disappoint –”

  “Peyton,” Austin interrupted me. “Peyton, stop.” I took a breath and listened for the ticking clock. I can’t hear it. I need to hear it. “When I say you’re perfect, I’m telling you that I know you’re perfect for me.”

  I looked up and met his gaze. And then he kissed me. All the apprehensions, the anxieties, the fears melted away. There was nothing but his touch, his kiss, his love.

  From behind, I heard someone clearing their throat very loudly. I turned to see Jesi’s husband. “Michael!” I shouted. I ran toward him. “How’s Jesi? How’s the baby?”

  “Great,” he
said. “They’re both doing great. And it’s a boy!” I hugged him. I knew how much they wanted a boy. They both said they didn’t care as long as it was healthy. But I could tell by the way they talked, they were hoping for a boy. “We named him Michael Peyton Davis.” I covered my mouth with my hands. They gave him my name? “Do you like it?”

  My eyes welled up. I love it! I nodded. “Jesi never said … she never mentioned … I didn’t know you guys were…” I was so touched I couldn’t find the words to express myself.

  “We wanted it to be a surprise,” Michael said. “Plus we didn’t know if it was a boy or a girl so we wanted to wait to see. If he would have been a girl, we were going to name her Hayden Brook Davis.” The tears began to roll down my cheeks. Michael hugged me. “Jesi said you’d cry.” He laughed.

  “Can I see her?” I wanted to see her. I wanted to make sure she was okay. I wanted to apologize for being so wrapped up in my own bullshit that I didn’t realize she was in labor.

  “They said she can have visitors soon – about an hour or so I think. I’ll come get you. I promise.”

  “Give her a hug for me,” I said. “Give them both a hug for me.” Michael nodded, waved and disappeared through the double doors.

  Austin suggested that we get something to eat from the cafeteria while we waited to see Jesi. Walking down the hall, I repeated the baby’s name in my mind. Michael Peyton Davis. Michael Peyton Davis. I never really liked my name. At least not for me. I was a girl named Peyton. It wasn’t easy to deal with. But now, I loved my name. I loved my name because it was his name. My best friend’s son’s name. My godson’s name.