The Reluctant Assassin Boxset

by Thomas K. Carpenter

  When Keelan finished the spell, a second illusionary version of himself stepped to the side, bringing an "ohhhh" from those assembled. Keelan continued to impress by advancing both himself and his illusion towards Carron Allgood in a threatening manner. Carron kicked his staff towards the original Keelan, only to find that was the illusionary version. A scattering of applause filled the room. When he was finished, Keelan took his spot in line.

  "Thank you for your demonstrations," said Carron. "I will not require a second round. The choices are clear. Roy Clovis and Keelan Walker." He looked to the Speaker. "I am finished."

  The rest of the Ceremony concluded without Zayn remembering a bit of it. Keelan, on the other hand, looked radiant in his excitement.

  When it was time to file out of the Grand Ballroom, Keelan reached out and squeezed Zayn's hand. It was a bit of an apology, and a farewell.

  As Zayn marched out, he glanced back to see Keelan standing before Carron, along with Mean Clovis.

  The line exiting the plantation was long. Around the time Zayn was about to leave and join his family beneath the wide oaks, a Watcher approached.

  "Zayn Carter. You're requested back inside."

  "What? What did I do?"

  The Watcher nodded back towards the center of the house. When he stepped inside the Grand Ballroom, he saw Mean Clovis lying on the hardwood floor, twitching and foaming at the mouth. Two Watchers stood over him, casting spells, but he didn't seem to be responding.

  "Don't you worry about him," said Carron from the dais when everyone lingered, banging his staff to get them to hurry. "I still want to make the overnight train, so this is gonna be quick."

  Zayn was hanging back, checking on Mean Clovis, when a booming voice rattled his ears.

  "I said forget the damn kid and get over here, or do you currently have shit for brains?" said Carron, who clearly was letting his true self shine without their families around.

  When Zayn reached the others, Allgood was staring him down. Zayn moved to the back and tried to move out of sight. Carron paced across the dais, mumbling and cursing under his breath. He looked like an angry bulldog who'd missed out on biting the mailman.

  "Everyone from before, get back in line," said Carron gruffly, sweeping his staff along the ground, indicating where he wanted them to stand. The fourteen who didn't get picked the first time hurried to their spots and stood as stiff as boards.

  The first-year trainer prowled back and forth, sometimes stopping before one person, then shaking his head as if he couldn't believe he was even thinking of picking them. When it seemed like he'd settled on picking Billy Ray, getting as close as extending his staff in his direction, the Watcher from outside tapped Carron on the shoulder.

  The pair moved away from the edge of the dais, and spoke in hushed voices.

  "Who the hell is Zayn Carter?"

  Everyone turned and looked at him, and his stomach dropped twenty feet.

  "Shit for brains?"

  Zayn stepped forward. "I'm Zayn Carter."

  "It seems you've been picked. Congratulations," he said with as much warmth as a blizzard.

  Zayn looked at his classmates, the other kids he'd spent his whole life with at school. They were staring at him with absolute confusion at why he'd been picked. He'd never demonstrated any magical skill, or even indicated that he wanted to join the Hundred Halls, which was exactly the point. He and the Goon had cooked up this scheme so the Lady wouldn't suspect anything about either of their intentions. Of course, Zayn hadn't revealed his plans to the Goon, but it was enough that their goals aligned for now.

  "But I didn't step forward," said Zayn. "I wasn't in line. I didn't even show you anything."

  "Clearly you showed somebody," said Carron. "Now come with me, I don't want to miss that train."

  "I have to tell my parents," he said.

  "There's no time," said Carron, and he marched into the darkness, expecting Zayn to follow.

  He felt an invisible umbilical tug him forward. A whirlwind of thoughts careened through his head. Sometimes when young men and women left for the Hundred Halls, they never returned. And other times, when they did, everyone wished they hadn't. But no one returned without being changed, and even if he managed to avoid that, at the end of his five years, he would serve the Lady for the rest of his days.

  Chapter Ten

  The Hold, October 2013

  A side quest for peculiar treasure

  After a couple of months at the Academy, the routine, while exhausting, had become predictable. Hurry from class to class, trying to keep up with the breakneck pace of learning, while working in the kitchen morning, noon, and night as punishment for being the team in last place.

  That predictable schedule took a turn one evening when a scream of frustration startled Zayn from his studies. He was sitting on his bed with his back against the wall with the tome Modern Enchantments resting on his knees. He'd just gotten settled after they finished cleaning up the Hold kitchen. Vin was shaving in front of the wall mirror, while Portia was bobbing her head, listening to the music in her ear buds. The screamer had been Skylar, who stared into her clothing drawer as if a flame-spitting dragon was about to come flying out.

  Zayn closed his thumb into the tome, saving his place. A keen sense of frustration settled into his shoulders. The other teams had apartments with private rooms. Their living arrangement made privacy impossible. Only Portia seemed unfazed by it, as she would change clothes in the room without hesitation, while the rest of them used the bathrooms.

  "Everything okay over there?" asked Zayn, hoping this was just a minor blowup, not a full-fledged meltdown like she'd had a few nights before over a bottle of spilled nail polish.

  "No," said Skylar, making a tiny foot stomp that shook her silky black hair.

  She blushed with a mixture of rage and embarrassment. "There are things missing."

  Zayn caught Vin's eye roll reflected in the mirror.

  "I'm not sure how you can tell, you've got half the storage space in the room," said Vin.

  Grabbing a hairbrush off the dresser, Skylar pointed it at Vin as if it were a wand. "Did you take my stuff?"

  "No," said Vin, elongating his cheek as he scraped the razor across it. "What's missing, anyway?"

  Skylar's blush deepened. "That's not important. What matters is that it's missing. Which means we have a thief."

  Portia, who until that moment had been in her private world of music, popped out an ear bud. "You missing stuff too?"

  Wild-eyed victory lit up Skylar's face. "See! I'm not crazy."

  "No one ever said you were, Skylar," said Zayn.

  But she sent an angry glare in Vin's direction. Despite the aching desire for sleep, and the need to get caught up on his studies, Zayn sensed an opportunity. So far, his team had as much toxic chemistry as a meth lab. He set his tome down.

  "We should all check our stuff," said Zayn. "Even you, Vin. Let's see what's going on."

  Vin shrugged, threw the razor in his dopp kit, and started searching through his gear.

  After a complete review, they determined they were missing two bottles of perfume, one of cologne, a pair of red stiletto high heels, a gold chain, and a few unspecific items that Skylar refused to elaborate on.

  "I don't see the connection," said Zayn. "Anyone seen anything strange going on? Anyone near our room?"

  "How could we?" said Vin. "When we're not in class or in the kitchen, I'm passed out, trying to get a few hours of shut-eye before the next day."

  Portia nodded along. "I agree with Vin. I have seen no one near our room, and when we work in the kitchen, we can see if anyone goes to our door." Then she got a weird look. Her forehead scrunched. "Do any of you see that weird glowy light in our room at night?"

  Zayn recalled waking up to light, thinking one of the others had turned on a lamp. "Yeah, I think. I just thought someone had to use the bathroom."

  "I've seen it too," said Skylar. "I think it's that thing we saw on the first
day. Maybe it's stealing our stuff. But what is it?"

  No one had an answer, so Zayn suggested, "Let's keep watch for it tonight. Maybe we can trap it, or follow it. Get our stuff back."

  The eagerness of their gazes told Zayn he was onto something. They'd have to give up some sleep to catch the thief, but everyone seemed to think it was worth it.

  "It's settled then," said Zayn. "We should all lie down like we're going to bed. Keep your clothes on so we can follow it."

  Vin mentioned their ploy as a scene from a magical heist movie he'd watched called The Perfect Game. Everyone rolled their eyes, since magical heists were Vin's favorite subject.

  With the lights out, the room lay in near pitch darkness. The LED from Skylar's smart watch provided the only faint light in the room. Zayn held himself as still as possible, listening for sounds of intrusion, but after an hour, he had to fight the urge to sleep. A snort-snore from Vin only made it harder as Zayn wanted to succumb to glorious slumber.

  When he didn't think he could stay awake much longer, a pale luminosity slipped through the door, which Zayn hadn't heard open. Through half-closed eyes, Zayn watched as the creature moved through the room. It kept its light dim, but Zayn sensed that it couldn't make itself completely dark. It had a vaguely humanoid shape, but not enough definition to know if it was somehow related to humans. It could have been the ghost of an alien being for all Zayn knew.

  The creature hovered over Skylar's stuff. A couple of clinks announced that it was picking through her gear.

  Zayn craned his neck to see that the others were watching. He held up his hand and counted down, using his fingers. When he hit three, they all popped up. Portia slapped the light on.

  "Gotcha, you freak," said Skylar.

  The luminous creature dropped whatever it was holding and fled from the room. Vin and Portia tried getting in its way, but it blew between them and slipped out the cracked door.

  The thing was fast, because by the time they got out of the room, it was across the dining area. The four of them dashed across, dodging between the tables, bumping some of them along the way.

  "It went to the portal room," said Zayn.

  The portal was a stone archway with runes along the curve. They arrived just in time to see a grouping of runes glowing with purpose and the whirling darkness of the portal activated.

  Without concern for where the portal might take them, they threw themselves through it before it ended. Traveling by portal was always a little terrifying. The four of them landed on rough stone in darkness, the runes from the other side of the portal fading fast. A glowy shape moved through the darkness ahead, but then winked out.

  No one moved, but there was a lot of heavy breathing from their short sprint.

  "Does anyone know where we are?" asked Vin.

  "It looks like a big cavern," said Zayn. "I think this is the Undercity. Probably the way we came in that first night."

  "Sí," said Portia. "It is."

  "Which means we can't get back into the Hold," said Zayn. "Unless someone knows the activation runes from this portal."

  Everyone shook their head.

  "Well," said Zayn. "Let's find our thief first, and then worry about how we get back."

  "But this is the Undercity," said Skylar. "First years aren't supposed to be here because it's too dangerous."

  Zayn faced her. "Do you have another idea?"

  "I guess not," Skylar said despondently.

  "Don't worry," said Zayn. "There's four of us. What could go wrong? Now where did our thief go?"

  Portia knew the spell for glow lights and took the lead as they walked. A pair of bobbing balls of light hovered along with them as they headed off in the direction they'd last seen the creature. When they reached the last area they'd seen it, they paused, as the tunnel branched into a series of smaller caverns.

  "Which one?" asked Zayn.

  Portia walked into the next tunnel, disappearing for a minute. When she came back, she said, "The passages split further up. It is practically a maze."

  "Ideas?" asked Zayn.

  Skylar had her arms crossed and a frown on her lips. "I know a spell. But it might not work if it's too far away."

  "Great," said Zayn. "What does it do?"

  The earlier blush returned. "Does it matter if it gets us there?"

  Skylar made gestures with her fingers, then she shoved them into her mouth and sucked on them. Zayn wasn't sure if it was a spell until he caught the faint smell of faez. Skylar pulled her fingers from her mouth and stared into the darkness.

  "What did it do?" asked Vin.

  "Hush and listen."

  Zayn stilled himself, listening with his whole body. At first he could only hear his beating heart. But after a few minutes, he heard a faint buzzing noise.

  In a whisper, Skylar said, "This way."

  They followed her forward. At each new split in the passage, they listened until they could hear the buzzing again. She had to repeat the spell a few times, but eventually, they found the correct cavern.

  The glowy creature hovered over the spot the buzzing emanated from. It fled as soon as they entered the cavern.

  Much to Zayn's surprise, Skylar sprinted across the uneven stone, oblivious to potential dangers. The rest of them followed close behind.

  Before they reached the spot where they assumed their stuff would be found, Skylar turned around and put her hands out. "Stop. Please."

  "Why?" asked Portia. "What's wrong?"

  "Can I get my stuff before everyone sees it?" asked Skylar, lips flat with worry.

  "It's okay, Skylar. Whatever it is, we don't care," said Zayn.

  "Sí," said Portia. "We on same team. Everything is good."

  Zayn looked to Vin to add his encouragement, but he'd crept forward, peering into a small depression in the stone that the buzzing had come from.

  "Holy sex dungeon," said Vin, mouth agape.

  His exclamation drew them forward. As the light hit the objects piled on the cavern floor, breaths of incredulity followed.

  In a space a bit larger than a dinner table were piles of condom packets, dildos, vibrators, bottles of perfume, whips, leather underwear, and anything else found in a sex shop. There were other objects that didn't quite fit, like wooden spoons, an empty bottle of shampoo, and hair clamps, but Zayn got the idea right away.

  "It's a sex-geist," said Portia with a tone of authority, and when everyone looked to her, she added with a shrug, "There was one in my neighborhood in Mexico City. They're harmless."

  Skylar squeaked and lunged forward to snatch a pink object from the stone, then shoved it into her backpack.

  "You have nothing to be embarrassed about," said Portia as she strolled forward and grabbed a black dildo from the pile, waving it like a wand.

  Vin coughed into his cupped hand and lifted the leather underwear from the pile, adding with a shrug, "I like the way they feel."

  Zayn grabbed a tube of lotion and waggled it before slipping it into his pocket. "This is one way to get to know your teammates."

  There was a moment where everyone held their breath and glanced to Skylar. She'd spent the majority of their little adventure looking like she was ready to explode into flames from embarrassment.

  When she opened her mouth, Zayn feared they were going to get a lecture, but laughter came out like a flood. As soon as she laughed, the rest of them followed, until they were bent over, sides bursting.

  When it finally subsided, everyone was wiping tears from their eyes.

  "What was that spell you used?" asked Portia, when they could finally speak again.

  With her hand on her chest to catch her breath, Skylar said, "It's a magical vibrator. The spell makes it operate."

  "Ohmygod," said Portia. "But the buzzing was so loud?"

  Skylar winced. "I think it activated more than mine."

  "What do we do now?" asked Vin.

  "About the sex-geist?" asked Zayn.

  "No. Getting out of here," said Vin,
"but I guess we have to deal with the sex-geist as well."

  "I can find a spell to ward our room," said Portia.

  "If we make our way back to the portal, we should be able to get out, following the path we took on our first night," said Zayn. "Once we're above ground we can take the trains back to our regular portal."

  "That was a long hike," said Skylar.

  "I'm open to ideas, but I don't think we have much choice," said Zayn.

  Before they left, Vin grabbed a packet of condoms. They decided to leave the rest where they'd found it, as no one wanted to go through it for sanitary reasons. Also, they didn't know how long the geist had been thieving from the Hold. Based on the size of the pile, and assuming it only stole from the Academy, it'd been operating for quite some time.

  The journey was long, but not as arduous as Zayn would have expected. Portia made them all laugh when she marched at the front, using her dildo like a baton. When she flipped it into the air and caught it behind her back, they applauded her.

  Before they reached the surface, Skylar, as she nervously tucked strands of hair behind her ear, asked, "So...what are we going to do about our room?"

  "What do you mean?" asked Zayn.

  Skylar blushed. "About privacy. Since we don't have separate rooms like the others."

  "We could get some privacy screens," said Portia. "They can be very beautiful."

  "That's good," said Skylar, but based on the way she hunched forward, Zayn knew that wasn't everything.

  "Are you worried about?" he asked, nodding towards her backpack.

  "Yeah," she said, scrunching up her face.

  "We can make a schedule," said Zayn. "If you want a little me-time, then you can sign up. Doesn't even have to be for...you know."

  Skylar let out a relieved chuckle. "I can't believe we're making a schedule. I mean, I'm glad, but it's not what I expected from the Academy."

  "They're training us to be spies and diplomats and assassins," said Portia. "Like Instructor Pennywhistle said in our accent class, we need to learn how to be honest with each other."