Playing Pretend Box Set

by Natasha L. Black

  “Seeing him mingle with the others at the gala was painful. That look on his face made me think he was either going to faint dead away or get sick on the spot,” she shook her head in disgust.

  “Your mother’s right. We don’t know where he got his money or how long he’s had it, but it’s clear that he’s not cut out to mix with the people we do, and he’s not welcome back,” my father said.

  I looked from one to the other in shock. I hadn’t noticed them watching Drake, and it surprised me that they had gone to the efforts that they did. Clearly, they cared more about appearances than I thought. I was certain all they cared about was money, and if they heard through the gossip in the crowd that I was with a man with money, then they would be satisfied.

  “For the first time in your life you choose to give a shit about me and what I’m doing, and it’s to tell me you don’t like the guy I’m with?” I asked with a shake of my head. “Because you don’t feel that he fit in with your snobby friends?”

  “I don’t care what your relationship with this man is,” my father said, ignoring my question. “He’s not one of us, and he never will be. Now, I expect you to take care of this as soon as possible, and we’ll keep the news under the rug.”

  I was livid. I wanted to tell them both to get the fuck out of my apartment but being that it was theirs I couldn’t do that. The absurdity of it all hit me like a ton of bricks.

  I burst out laughing.

  “What the hell is so funny?” my father asked. “You think this is a joke? We will take legal proceedings against him if we have to. He has no right to be living here, and we aren’t going to support yet another bad decision you’re making with your life.”

  “First of all, you are the one who supported Brandon until it looked bad to the public, no matter how horribly he treated me,” I said. “And secondly, I’m not married to this guy.”

  Both my parents’ mouths fell open, and they exchanged a glance.

  “What the hell is going on here Hannah?” my mother asked.

  “I’m doing it to get rid of Brandon, alright?” I said. I was shocked that I was telling them the truth. But, the more they were telling me they hated Drake, the less I wanted to talk about him. I was sure the man was the love of my life, and I didn’t want to fight over him only to lose him.

  I couldn’t tell them that I wanted to be with him, but what was I going to tell them when he left? That it broke my heart to let him go? That I wasn’t good enough for him? That the whole thing had been a farce?

  I didn’t owe my parents an explanation of anything, and yet there I was about to pour my heart out to them. If only to get them to back off and not interfere anymore. I needed to handle the situation on my own.

  “Brandon has been stalking me and he won’t leave me alone, so I hired a guy to play my husband to get rid of him. When he’s finally gone and stops showing up everywhere I am, then I’m going to pay this guy and he’s going to leave, too. Did you really think I would marry a complete stranger I met in a bar?” I asked.

  It hurt saying the words out loud, and I worried I was going to be sick. What I didn’t say was that with Drake gone, I was going to be alone and utterly miserable. That with him in my life the past month, I had felt more alive and more like myself than I ever had. That the thought of letting him go caused me physical pain. No, I didn’t say that. I couldn’t. I couldn’t be that vulnerable; not to them. I just wanted them off my back so they would leave.

  My parents gave each other another look of disbelief, but before my father was able to say anything else, I heard the door open and close. I had been talking so loudly to my parents I’d not heard it before, and I suddenly realized Drake must have come home and heard the conversation.

  Without saying anything to either of them, I hurried up the short hall and to the door, throwing it open. “Drake!”

  I yelled into the hall of the complex, but he was nowhere in sight. He must have already headed back to the elevator before I was able to get to the door. My heart raced as I slammed it closed and stormed back to the living room. My father had risen, and my mother was shaking her head in disappointment.

  But I was used to being a disappointment to them. Nothing I’d ever done had been good enough, and I was sure my life would continue to be that way in their eyes. But now, now I wasn’t sure what was going on with Drake. If he had heard what I said, there was no doubt in my mind I’d ruined everything.

  How could I tell him that I loved him now? Would he even believe me if I did? He knew how things were with my parents, but nothing could take back what I’d told them, what he’d heard with his own ears.

  “Get out!” I shouted. “Get out of here, now!”

  “Don’t worry, we’re not staying,” my mother said. She looped her purse strap over her arm. “And if you don’t get yourself together and end this charade, you aren’t either.”

  “Trust me, I’m getting out of this place as soon as possible,” I snapped. “I’m never going to be who you expect me to be. If you can’t get over that and love me because I’m your daughter, then I don’t want you in my lives at all. Once I graduate in a few weeks, I’ll get out and you can forget I exist.”

  Both parents shook their heads, but they left without another word to either each other or me. I didn’t turn around as I heard their footsteps leading to the door, or even when I heard it open and close. The sound of the click echoed through my apartment, but all I could really think about was the racing of my heart.

  Drake was gone. He had heard me laugh about what we’d been doing and tell my parents it wasn’t ever going to happen. He’d heard me lie, and there was no taking that back now. My chance had slipped away because I was too stupid to stand up to my own parents.

  What had I done?

  19

  Drake

  I jammed my hands in my pockets as I walked quickly up the street. I was a fast walker anyway, but when I really tried to get going, it wasn’t hard for me to move. I heard Hannah shout for me in the hallway just before the elevator doors closed, but I wasn’t going to go back.

  What was she going to say? She didn’t know I was in the apartment? She didn’t mean for it to be so abrupt? Would she be angry with me for being hurt? After all, it wasn’t her fault that I’d fallen in love.

  As far as she’d known, we were just going to be living together until we got rid of Brandon, then we would be done. That was the plan from the beginning, and there was no reason on her end why things should be any different.

  But did she have to laugh about it? What was so funny about the thought of us being together? Hell, who am I kidding? What isn’t so funny about it? You saw the kind of people she came from – the kind of people her family is.

  I was angry at myself for letting my heart get involved. I had broken my only promise to myself and I was the only one to blame. Yeah, we shared a connection, but she clearly saw me as her protector; her means to an end with Brandon. I was never going to fit in with her life.

  Even though she didn’t subscribe to her parents’ bullshit theory that you had to have money to matter, the truth of it was that she did have money. She always had, and she didn’t know what it was like to live without it. Sure, she worked for her tuition, but she lived in a goddamn penthouse that she didn’t pay for. She didn’t really know what it was like to be a “normal person” and she never would. There was no way it would work between us and I was an idiot to have ever thought otherwise.

  I kicked a can out of my way, not caring that it fell into the gutter. I didn’t care about anything right now. My heart raced and my mind was spinning. The thoughts were coming faster than what I was able to keep up with, and I was a mix of anger, hurt, and shame.

  I was embarrassed that I really did let myself fall in love with Hannah. There was a part of me that still felt there was no way for me to help it. She was perfect – everything any man could ever ask for.

  Then again, I knew from the beginning what I was getting myself in to. T
his was business, and the only reason I’d agreed to the idea was because I wanted to help out the girl, and because I knew in the long run it would help me. I needed the place to stay and I needed the money, and she needed a helping hand.

  On paper, it had been nothing more than a black and white arrangement. Why did I let it get to this?

  I shouldn’t have been in the apartment to hear the conversation anyway. She thought I was out with Brody, and it probably would have been better had I been. But Brody had other things that he had to do. He was just settling back into civilian life, which meant he was going to have to find a place to live as well as a job.

  He didn’t have any interest in getting himself into the same situation I had, though he wasn’t opposed to finding a woman in his life. So, after a few drinks and some conversation, we wrapped things up and I headed back to the penthouse.

  I had planned on walking originally, but with the sky threatening rain, I decided to get a cab. That got me there a lot sooner than I planned, but I was just going to grab another drink to keep my buzz going, and head to my room. I figured Hannah would be at school anyway, and I needed time to tell her what I wanted her to know.

  I knew that I wanted it to be a light conversation. I wanted her to know that I hadn’t meant to fall in love with her, but I really couldn’t help it. She had to know that she was the best thing that had ever happened to me, and no one made me feel like she had.

  She had to know that I didn’t want it to be over, and if she would give me the chance, I would do anything in my power to take care of her and keep her happy. It all sounded so good in my head, and I knew I just had to figure out how to word it so she thought it was a good idea, too.

  I heard the yelling before I even reached the door. It echoed dimly through the hall of the complex despite the fact the walls were thick and the door was closed. I’d hoped on my way to the door that the argument was taking place in another apartment, but when I got to the door and pulled out my key, I could hear plainly that they were fighting inside.

  A man’s voice and a woman’s followed by Hannah’s. It wasn’t hard to guess that it had to be her parents talking to her. She’d told me that she’d ‘handled things’ with her parents regarding our fake marriage, but clearly she had not. That in itself cause a twinge of pain in my chest.

  I planned to slip through the apartment and into my room, then close the door and wait it out. If I played my cards right, they wouldn’t even see me. Hell, with my military training, I knew it wasn’t going to be hard to creep through, provided they weren’t in the middle of the room I’d have to cross through.

  I silently opened the door and the voices became much louder.

  I’d just made up my mind that I was going to pass through without a word when I heard Hannah’s voice. She was laughing, telling her parents that we were just faking the marriage. She was paying me, and it was all for the sake of getting rid of Brandon.

  Though I already knew what we were doing, hearing her say the words now drove a stake into my heart. She didn’t sound the least bit upset that things were coming to an end between us, and it almost sounded to me as though she was trying to alleviate her parents’ anger by telling them not to worry, it wasn’t real. Even though she’d told me time and again how litter her parents’ opinion meant to her. But she was still technically living under their roof and she was clearly playing their game to get what she wanted. Just like she was with me.

  Hearing her say that we were nothing hurt. It hurt more than I could describe. I tasted bile and felt sick to my stomach. At the same time, I wanted to head into the living room and tell her that the contract was over; I’d done what I needed to do, and it was time for me to move on.

  But I didn’t want to move on.

  As angry was I was feeling that Hannah had played me, I just couldn’t make myself end it just then. But I was also no longer able to keep myself silent. I needed to get out before I exploded and made the situation even worse for myself.

  I threw open the door and closed it hard behind me. I didn’t care who heard me, or what her parents thought about it. Hannah? I knew she wouldn’t care. Hell, if this truly was just a game for her to get rid of her ex, then of course she wouldn’t care if I just walked out of there.

  She was nearly done with me anyway, and there was a part of me that told myself I should be looking forward to being through with the situation. It hurt too much to be there with her, but my heart told me it would hurt even more to be away from her. I needed to stop listening to my traitorous heart and start thinking like the carefully trained man that I was. I needed self-preservation now more than ever.

  I didn’t want to stop when she called out to me. I didn’t want to talk to her anymore.

  My training told me to finish my mission. I was going to have to go back and hold up my end of the bargain. I told her that I would be there for her until Brandon was gone, and we weren’t sure that he was. I couldn’t walk out on her now because I were too stupid to keep my emotions under control.

  Fuck. I couldn’t go back just yet. I was a wreck, and I wouldn’t be able to look at her without breaking down.

  Wasn’t I stronger than that? I’d been through worse. I would go to the bar, calm down, and drink a beer. When I was feeling better, I could go back to the house and deal with that shit later. Her parents would be gone by then, and I could tell her that I didn’t want to be part of the argument, so I left.

  Brush it off, gloss over the situation, and pretend I didn’t care about any of it.

  You’ve gotten damn good at pretending, haven’t you?

  I ducked into an old bar I used to visit often. It was nothing like the places I’d been frequenting recently, and I felt a wave of my old self coming back. This was where I belonged. It was going to suck to say goodbye to Hannah, but I’d have to accept it.

  She came from a different life, and that was fine with me. I’d done my part, and it was almost time to let her go. I grabbed my phone and texted Brody.

  Hey man, sorry to bother you again today, but do you want to shoot some pool? I know you’ve got shit to do, but I need some advice

  I hit send. Part of me feel like a pussy asking Brody to hang out with me again after we’d just parted a couple hours before, but if there was anyone who would know what to do in this situation, it was him.

  He’d give it to me straight. And, when I hadn’t been straight with myself for weeks, it was time for someone else to be straight with me. He’d tell me how he saw the situation, and exactly what he thought I should do. Brody wasn’t the man to sugar coat anything.

  And right now, that’s exactly what I needed.

  20

  Hannah

  “Pick up, pick up, pick up!” I said in frustration as I listened to the ringing of the phone. Once again, I was sent to voicemail, and in frustration I shoved my phone into my purse. “Fuck!”

  My heart raced, and the knot in my stomach made it hard for me to bend over and put on my shoes. I gave up trying to untie the laces and just opted for the slip ons. I wanted to put on my running shoes so I could find him as quickly as possible, but I didn’t have the concentration to think clearly enough to deal with laces right now.

  My mother had tried to call me shortly after they left, but I didn’t want to talk to her. I sent it to voicemail and once again tried to call Drake. He wasn’t answering any of my calls, and I tried not to let the frustration build inside me.

  I was angry with him for not answering, but I was even angrier with myself for what happened. I could blame my parents for it, as they were the entire reason I said the things that I did, but deep down inside, I knew it was the fact that Drake had heard me say what I did that pissed me off.

  How could I have been so stupid? His reaction to my words had solidified what I had suspected; that he had feelings for me too. Or at least he did. I’m sure the little show I’d put on for my parents had ended that all too quickly. What the fuck was wrong with me?

  I’d be l
ucky if I ever heard from him again after what I’d said. I was probably the last person he wanted to talk to.

  I tried to ignore the negative thoughts that were running through my mind and focus on the positive. I wanted to tell myself I would find him, I would tell him what happened, he would wrap his arms around me, and everything would be okay.

  That’s how it worked in the movies, right?

  All I had to do is tell him what was really going on, why I said what I did, and what I really felt. Maybe I’d break down as I was trying to explain it to him. I wouldn’t use my tears to manipulate his feelings, but I was done hiding my emotions around him.

  I felt sick to my stomach when I thought about the possibility of losing him, and I wasn’t going to let that happen. I had to fight against it with everything that I could. I’d win him back. The way he looked at me told me that he cared. At least to some extent, I knew he cared.

  But I had to find him first.

  I grabbed my purse and headed out the door, resisting the urge to call him again. I didn’t want to be that girl – the one who blew up his phone when he clearly didn’t want to talk. But it was hard not to. Every passing minute that I didn’t hear from him made me think that I was never going to hear from him again.

  In all reality I knew I would have to hear from him again. His things were in my apartment and I owed him money. If for nothing else, he’d come for that. If I couldn’t find him, I’d just have to wait for him to come to me to collect his things and his payment. Then I could convince him that we belonged together for real.

  At the moment though, I couldn’t just sit there and wait. I needed to do something. I needed to at least try to find him somewhere. He had to know how serious I was about how I felt about him. I shut and locked the door behind me and ran to the elevator, jamming my finger at the down button impatiently.