KIP: a bay falls high novel

by Kidman, Jaxson

  ‘No, Kip. You will be a memory. No… I’ll be a memory. I’ll just fucking vanish. Like I always do.’

  My mind was still stuck in memory land even after I threw the first two punches that took Taco to the sand.

  He always wore an extra sized hoodie and carried a backpack that was full of garbage. And that’s what that shit was. Garbage we never wanted in BFH and each time he came back, we’d beat the hell out of him and send him packing. Apparently this time he thought by giving out free stuff to make the party hop (as he put it before my knuckles smashed his already crooked teeth) made it okay.

  Pres and Barr pulled me off of him.

  We had a crowd around us.

  Everyone watching in silence.

  “That’s good,” Barr said. “I’ll handle the rest of it. You should get back to your girl.”

  “Barr’s right,” Pres said. “We have to help Ruby now.”

  I broke away from Pres and Barr and stared down at Taco.

  “Listen to me, Timothy,” I said. “I don’t care who your parents are. I will kill you. And anyone here…” I looked around at everyone. “Anyone here who supports this douchebag… whether you’re buying or it’s free… I’ll find out.”

  “That shit doesn’t belong here,” Pres said.

  “This piece of shit doesn’t belong here,” Barr added.

  “I’m just spreading the peace and love, brothers,” Timothy said. “No charge. Just a little fun.”

  I stepped forward.

  Barr pulled me back. “Go to your girl. Right now.”

  “You better make it worth it,” I said.

  I turned and walked away.

  “You fucking prick,” Barr growled.

  I then heard the sound of hard fists against bone.

  “He’s got it,” Pres said to me. “Now let’s go save Ruby.”

  I shook my head. “No, Pres. We can’t save her.”

  “What are you talking about?” Pres asked.

  I saw Tinsley holding Ruby in her arms, touching her face.

  I shut my eyes.

  We can’t… fucking save… her…

  Chapter 19

  ‘We need to talk, son.’

  My father did his famous entering the room and then saying ‘knock knock’ like he was trying to be cool or some kind of lame shit.

  ‘Not in the mood,’ I say.

  ‘Don’t care. Come with me right now.’

  I stand and follow him.

  He pauses at the door. ‘Do you touch the bad stuff?’

  I laugh. ‘Touch bad stuff? Define what is…’

  ‘This isn’t a joke.’

  ‘I have no idea what you’re talking about.’

  ‘Drugs, Kipton. Drugs.’

  ‘Oh. No. I don’t touch drugs.’

  ‘Your room is being searched today,’ he says. ‘I’ll find the truth.’

  ‘Have at it. Just don’t mess with my condoms. I’m sure you don’t want grandkids, right?’

  ‘A joke. It’s all a joke to you.’

  He starts to walk and I touch his arm. ‘Hey. Wait. Drugs… why are you asking?’

  ‘You’ll see,’ he says.

  My heart sinks.

  Kait.

  She must have gotten herself into trouble. Finally busted for something.

  My mind raced.

  What would happen now?

  My parents could just boot her out. Send her back to wherever they got her from. Which sounded so fucking horrible and sad. Like returning a watch that you decide you don’t like. But it was a fucking person.

  Maybe they’d get her the help she needs.

  They had the money to do it.

  And on their quest for sainthood, this could work out.

  Imagine the headline and story…

  Wealthy couple take in a foster child… well, teenager. Turns out she’s hooked on drugs and can’t save herself so they save her. They pay for the best of the best of rehab and she fixes her life and becomes something.

  That makes the most sense.

  But all sense is suddenly lost when I step into the kitchen.

  Mom is standing with a balled up tissue, stained black from her eye makeup, fresh tears rolling down her cheeks.

  With her is a cop.

  A tall dude, with wide shoulders, holding a hat in his hand.

  ‘Here he is,’ Dad says.

  I shake my head. ‘What is this? Did Kait get into trouble?’

  If she got arrested, that was going to be tricky.

  But, again, my parents have money. Lots of it. They could afford the best lawyer in the world. And, again, the druggy foster girl angle is perfect. No judge would ever go after Kait. Not with us supporting her.

  ‘Oh, Kip,’ Mom says. ‘Come here. Just come here, baby…’

  I put my hand out. ‘What is it? What did she do? Is she okay?’

  ‘She’s not okay, son,’ Dad says.

  ‘Meaning? What? She’s in jail? The hospital? Missing…?’

  My mouth goes dry. Really dry.

  Mom shuts her eyes and breaks down crying.

  Dad nods to the officer.

  The tall dude then addresses me.

  And in his cop voice - deep and professional - he rattles through some bullshit story with technical terms and sorries that mean nothing.

  He could have just told me the truth in really simple terms.

  Kait overdosed.

  And was dead.

  I sat on the table next to the couch and watched Ruby sleep all night.

  I didn’t move.

  I don’t remember blinking all that much either.

  All I could do was stare and think.

  Actually, I did move.

  I reached out and touched her just to feel her and make sure she was breathing.

  Which she was.

  She never stopped breathing either.

  I carried her from the beach to the couch.

  I chased everyone else away.

  Tinsley left crying her eyes out, Pres holding her.

  I didn’t have to say anything else to Barr.

  He just knew what to do.

  Which meant he was sleeping in his car. Waiting for the moment to check on me and check on Ruby.

  I ran the night through my head a hundred times.

  What happened and why.

  The beach party was supposed to be fun and laid back. It was supposed to be a handful of us to just relax and tell stories and jokes and laugh.

  It got too big.

  Too quick.

  There wasn’t supposed to be drinks.

  Or other stuff.

  Even still…

  I shut my eyes and I lowered my head.

  Ruby had no control over it. Or herself.

  The moment it presented itself to her, she went for it. And she went hard. She wanted to prove a point. That she could have fun without going too far. But something just overtook her.

  Something.

  It was more than something.

  It was… the addiction.

  I put my hands to my face and slowly slid from the table to the floor.

  On my knees, I rested my head to her legs.

  I silently cried.

  I wrapped my right arm around her legs and talked to the voices in my head until they got sick of hearing me.

  They went silent.

  And somewhere in there I fell asleep.

  I woke up to someone touching my cheek.

  I picked my head up and when I saw Ruby’s eyes - those fucking beautiful color changing eyes - I smiled.

  Ruby didn’t smile.

  She just shook her head.

  Her eyes filled with tears.

  I jumped at her and wrapped my arms around her body.

  She threw her arms around me and clung to me tight.

  She broke down into tears and cried.

  My right hand slid into the back of her hair.

  The pain in my heart was like nothing I had ever felt before. Not even w
hen I found out Kait was gone. That pain was an angry kind of pain.

  This pain…

  It was because I knew what was going to happen next.

  I was going to have to say goodbye to Ruby.

  * * *

  Ruby took a shower and got changed.

  While she was in the shower, I put her bag on the bed.

  I balled up my fists tight and knew I should have been in that shower with her. We should have been kissing, touching, laughing, taking each other’s pleasure for our greedy needs.

  Instead…

  Barr showed up, standing in the open door to the guesthouse.

  “She okay?” he asked.

  “Define okay,” I said.

  “Alive?”

  “Yeah.”

  Barr nodded. “Give her my love. I’m going to go talk to Pres and Tinsley.”

  “Barr…”

  “I know,” he said. “Believe me, I know.”

  He shut the door and I stood there alone, feeling empty.

  I waited for Ruby to get dressed and when she walked out of the bedroom, her hair wet, her bag over her shoulder, I felt like I was dying.

  I walked toward her and she put her hand out and pushed at my arm.

  “I still love you, girl,” I said. “You need to know that.”

  “I love you too, Kip,” she said in a soft voice. “But I have to go.”

  “That’s why I’m driving you. I want to be there.”

  “Kip…”

  “Dammit, girl. You can push me away all you want right now. I’m not going anywhere.”

  “But I am,” she said.

  “And I will be waiting.”

  “No,” she said. “That’s the thing. You can’t do that. You can’t put that on me.”

  “There’s nothing put on you, Ruby. I’m standing by my word and standing by my girl. You can’t stop me from that.”

  Ruby’s eyes filled with tears. Then she whispered, “Asshole…”

  I wiped the first tear that fell from her eye. “I love you too, girl.”

  * * *

  I stood near the front door of Gram’s house.

  I heard every word spoken and when they needed time alone, I excused myself.

  I also needed to keep my own emotions in check.

  I was rubbing my eyes like I had allergies or some kind of shit.

  Tinsley, Pres, and Barr were outside waiting.

  The entire house got really quiet and then I saw Ruby walking toward me.

  She wiped the corners of her eyes as she walked by me.

  “Hey, girl,” I whispered.

  Ruby stopped on the second step. “What?”

  “You look pretty,” I said.

  “Ugh,” she said back.

  She disappeared to pack up her stuff.

  I turned my head and saw Gram standing at the entrance to the kitchen.

  I couldn’t help myself.

  I had to go see her.

  Even if she smacked me with a wooden spoon one more time.

  When I got close enough to her, she surprised me by grabbing for my face.

  “Kipton,” she said.

  “Ma’am,” I said.

  Gram swallowed hard.

  “I really love her,” I whispered.

  “I can see that.”

  “I don’t like sounding pathetic but I feel like this is my fault.”

  “No, it’s not your fault. It’s nobody’s fault. This is about her. She needs the help.”

  “I told her I’ll wait,” I said. “I’m telling you too. I mean it.”

  “You’re young, Kip. So young.”

  “I don’t feel young,” I said.

  “Compared to me…”

  “I’m Peter, remember?” I asked. “And I bet Peter would have done the same. Maybe he did. He waited…”

  “And I never came back,” Gram said.

  “And I bet he was still happy. With your memory.”

  Gram let out a quick laugh. “My, oh my, you are very smooth with words, Kipton. I can see why Ruby has fallen for you. And I’m sure several others.”

  “The others never had a name though,” I said.

  “Oh?”

  “I’m getting the feeling here you don’t think what I’m saying is true.”

  “That’s not it at all, Kipton,” Gram said. She leaned to her right and looked to make sure Ruby wasn’t there. “Come with me for a minute.”

  Gram led the way from the kitchen through the dining room to the sliding glass doors. She opened them and nodded to the deck.

  “Are you going to lock me out?” I asked.

  “Maybe.”

  “Are you going to push me over the railing?”

  “There’s a good chance I might.”

  I smiled and stepped outside.

  Gram slid the door shut behind me.

  I took in the view, nodding.

  The little deck had the biggest view I’d ever seen in my life.

  With her house resting right up against the coast and the view going for what felt like a lifetime, it was a good place to stand and think.

  Gram touched my arm. “I believe what you’re saying right now.”

  “Right now though, huh?”

  “I don’t know much about you. That might be a good thing. But I see the way you and Ruby look at each other. I listened to what you had to say about her. What she had to say about herself. And I believe - and still believe - every word said.”

  “But…?” I asked.

  “But,” Gram said, “this is far bigger than what I think you think it is.”

  “Gram, I watched her fall apart on the beach. And I’m really mad at myself for letting it all happen, even though it happened so fast. But I can’t stand here and say that too loud because it takes away from what Ruby is feeling.”

  “Again, the words…”

  “Gram, my parents one time wanted to work on their image. And my father wanted to use his wallet to ensure my mother’s love. So he gave her a daughter. Well, he brought someone in. A girl my age at the time. She couldn’t save herself from her past. From her addiction. I watched her slip. And I couldn’t save her. She’s no longer here. Forgive me for saying this, but you really don’t know much about me, like you said. But I think we’re going to have some time to fix that.”

  Gram slowly nodded. “Wow. That’s a lot, Kipton. Quite a lot. Please understand what I’m saying to you right now though. What you feel today might not be what you feel tomorrow. Or a week from now. Or a month from now.”

  “What if it is though?”

  Gram looked up at me. “You know, I chased you across the front yard and hit you with a wooden spoon.”

  “I still have the mark on my arm.”

  Gram laughed. “I told myself I’d protect Ruby. And here I am, wondering how to say something to you.”

  “Why hide anything now?”

  “Kipton, I think it’s foolish what you’re feeling right now. And I fear if you stay in the picture, it’ll only confuse Ruby. If she gets the help she needs, the last thing I want is for her to… well, to miss you and leave before she should. And then she’ll end up falling right back into what caused all of this.”

  There it was.

  The cold and honest truth.

  I looked forward at the waves smashing into the jagged rocks.

  Gram touched my back.

  There were no other words to speak.

  No need to say sorry because there was nothing to be sorry for.

  She was right.

  But I also wasn’t wrong.

  Chapter 20

  I knocked on the bedroom door and opened it.

  Ruby stood next to her bed, looking out the window.

  My eyes moved to the bed, then to Ruby.

  She had bags on the bed.

  “This is everything,” she said to me. “And you know what, Kip? I hate when people use the word young. I should have more than this for all the years I’ve been alive. But you know what? Stuff
has been lost, thrown out, broken on purpose… or if we were kicked out of somewhere, it was left there. And look… this is it.”

  “You have everything you need, girl,” I said.

  Ruby tilted her head. “Don’t say…”

  I touched my chest. “Right here, girl.”

  “You’re such an asshole, Kip.”

  I walked to Ruby and hugged her.

  She made fists and hit my back.

  I never felt someone hug me so tight before.

  I ran through all the cliché things I could have said and traded each one for silence. I knew that would mean more to Ruby.

  “How the fuck did this happen to me?” she whispered.

  “Well, I could tell you ten thousand reasons why,” I said. “But that won’t get you anywhere.”

  Ruby looked up at me. “What happened to me, Kip?”

  “I’m not sure, girl.”

  “I got so… I can’t explain it. I was standing there. And everyone was having fun. They were all doing their own thing. I think I got jealous.”

  “Jealous?”

  “Yeah. That they could drink or try other stuff and have fun. Wake up with a hangover or maybe wake up knowing they said something stupid. They’d have a new story to tell from a fun beach party. But not me. Right? I couldn’t experience that. Because it was all fed to me differently in life.”

  “And that’s okay,” I said.

  “It’s not. I grabbed that first drink and tasted it…”

  She broke away from me and turned.

  I grabbed her waist and pulled her back against me.

  “Tell me, girl. Tell me everything. I’m going to wait for you, Ruby. So tell me everything.”

  She sighed. “I had that first drink and it was like a voice went off inside my head. To keep going. To fucking ruin the night. It’s like this anger… it’s not even fun. And I know you beat the shit out of that guy that gave me the other stuff. And I hate that I caused that.”

  “You didn’t cause that, Ruby. He wasn’t supposed to be there. No matter what he was going to get his ass kicked. The Rulz don’t put up with that shit.”

  “Right. The Rulz. You. Pres. Barr. I guess Tinsley too.”

  “Don’t worry about that though.”

  “I have to,” Ruby said. She spun around to face me. “What happens now, Kip?”