The Moore the Merrier

by Alex Miska

  “What an asshole,” Xander said from behind Dean. “Listen, I was just sticking my head in to say hi. You have my number if you ever want to talk. Oh, and Julian gave phone cards and your phone numbers to Marcus and Kendall, so they can call you whenever they want. They miss you, but they’re doing okay. No new roommates yet but it’s the holidays, and for some reason the place always fills up around now.”

  “People suck,” Jackson said.

  “They do suck.” Logan agreed, trying to remain serious while his inner adolescent snickered at the word suck.

  “Julian wants to convince them to spend the holidays with us. Do you think they might?” Xander asked.

  “I think Kendall’s too scared of her family to leave,” Dean said. “She’s said she’s afraid that if somebody saw her on the street, even with you, they’d have the right to take her.”

  “What if we smuggled her out of there and you guys slept in the bedrooms at my parents’ place and we slept on air mattresses in the hallway, so that any intruders would trip over us, and Julian could kick their asses?” Logan asked. It seemed like both a valid plan and a crazy scheme from a kids’ movie.

  “Umm… we can try suggesting that?” Jackson didn’t seem convinced. “We’ll work on them but… maybe we could sleep over with them sometimes? I mean, I know it’s a shelter and stuff, but if we brought sleeping bags we wouldn’t be taking up a bed and…”

  “I think that can be arranged. And you guys can visit there whenever you want. It is a youth center, not just a shelter, and they’re your friends.” Both boys lit up at Chance’s words. Had they really thought they would be cut off from their friends forever? Sure, you had to cross a bridge to get there, but the center was five minutes away and having support from other teens like them was incredibly important. “Okay, now let’s go pick out a tree.”

  “An artificial tree, right? Can we get the kind that has different light settings?” Dean asked.

  “No, a real tree. It’s the first Christmas we spend together as a family.”

  “But the cats-” Dean began to argue.

  “I don’t want to hear it!” Chance interrupted. “I don’t care if cats don’t like trees. They’ll just have to deal!”

  “We’ve never had a real tree! Yeah, let’s get one!” Jackson cheered. Now Logan didn’t have the heart to argue, he just shrugged at Dean and figured Chance and Jackson would have to learn the hard way (although he knew full well he’d be cleaning up the mess too).

  So they chose a big, beautiful tree and tied it to the roof of the car, before going inside to get lights and ornaments and a tree stand and a tree skirt to hide the tree stand. When they got home, they all had fun reasoning out the best way to put lights on a tree and then hanging the ornaments in a random-seeming, well-balanced pattern. They took photos in front of the tree and texted them to the whole family. Sitting down with takeout Chinese, they watched as the cats carefully approached the tree.

  “Maybe we should have waited to do this until after Boston?” Dean asked, looking concerned.

  Logan just shrugged. “When your brother has his mind set on something, there’s no dissuading him. At this point, we might as well just take some pictures and keep the vacuum handy.”

  “They’ll be fine,” Chance said dismissively.

  Character Guide

  Leonardo and his brother, Michelangelo, watched the proceedings with fascination. These boys were certainly changing things. First, they slept in the middle of the living room (perhaps Cassius’ term ‘pup’ had been an accurate description) last night. And now they were bringing in a gigantic, potted plant, called a tree, which of course was short for ‘cat tree.’ They’d seen these things through the window but had never gotten a good close look until now.

  ‘It’s tall,’ Michelangelo said, stating the obvious as always. ‘Think we can climb it?’

  ‘We can climb anything!’ Leonardo scoffed.

  ‘What is it? Why are you bringing an outside thing in? It looks too big to throw for me. How do I play with it?’ Luna asked as she ran round and round people’s legs.

  ‘It’s a climbing thing for Michelangelo and me,’ Leonardo informed the sweet little dog. ‘And it has arms you can sleep under.’

  ‘That’s awesome! And it smells good, doesn’t it smell good? It’ll make inside smell like outside and I like outside! Outside’s awesome!’ Leonardo inwardly smiled at the dog’s enthusiasm and watched their people complete an elaborate process of making it stand upright, and then hanging all kinds of interesting toys to bat at. The lavish decorations were a very nice touch. It was kind of their Logan to give them such a wonderful new cat tree after forcing them to put up with even more humans in their new house. It took time and effort to civilize people, and Chance had just finally finished his beginner coursework.

  As soon as the people stopped admiring their work, Leonardo and Michelangelo approached. Michelangelo was mesmerized by the lights and everything he could bat at; he always took new challenges slowly, but not Leonardo. Leonardo went straight toward the wooden center. He scratched his nails down it, but this scratching post was clearly defective; it made him sticky, and that just wouldn’t do. But with so many strong posts protruding from the center, Leonardo knew this was a tree made for climbing. It was so very tall, and he was going to get to the top.

  As he got higher and higher, Leonardo knew he must look like a huge, sleek, sure-footed panther. He stuck his head out and let loose a mighty roar as he looked around. ‘This is magical, Michelangelo. You must try it sometime. But not now. Now I am king of this living room and all will bow to me!’

  ‘King? Bah! I am the emperor of this entire house, and I shall be the first to reach the summit!’ his brother cried before beginning his ascent.

  Toward the top, the branches became weaker, and several batting-toys fell to the ground. Ah, well. They were too high to bat at anyway.

  ‘I like it here,’ said Michelangelo, who was probably too lazy to climb any further. ‘I shall recline along this protrusion like an African lion!’

  ‘Do as you wish, peon. I am nearly at the top,’ Leonardo told him.

  When he reached the apex, a pointy object was taking his rightful place, so he batted at it with all his fury. The cat tree swayed, and Michelangelo scurried downward. When the object finally dislodged from the peak, the world began to tip. Leonardo leaped gracefully off as their defective cat tree plummeted to the ground with a mighty crash.

  Splashing around at the base of the tree, Michelangelo screamed, ‘I’m wet! I’m wet! It’s a trap! Ruuuuun!’ and sped into the hall, likely to dry himself on Chance’s nicely absorbent pillow. Leonardo cleaned his still-sticky paws carefully. All the people raced into the room and began shouting like hellions about not giving trees to cats (which was a patently ridiculous statement) and cleaning and whatnot.

  “Bad cat!” Chance waggled his finger in Leonardo’s face. Did he seriously talk to him as if he were a dog?! Perhaps Chance would need to repeat that beginner’s course.

  ‘I do not understand your dismay,’ Leonardo told them as he continued to work on cleaning his paws. ‘Nothing has been ruined. The cat tree was always like this and I, for one, think it’s taking up far too much space in this tiny room.’

  Character Guide

  “You don't have to do this,” Logan told Chance as they packed the car, his eyes wide with concern, but of course he had to do this. If nothing else, his father and grandparents needed to sign away their parental rights.

  “I'm going. It'll be good for me; I'll get closure and... maybe I can change my sister's mind.”

  “You won't change her mind,” Jackson said morosely. “We've thought of every possible argument and none of them would work with her. She's obnoxiously stubborn.”

  “I’ll do what I can,” Chance told him. “Listen, it's been 19 years since I've seen our father and grandparents and I have to do adulty things like making them sign papers, but you
don’t have to go. You two can stay with Julian and Xander, or with Logan's parents, or Greg and Dani can stay here with you...”

  “This is our last chance to see Gigi for the next three years. Of course we're going,” Jackson said, his eyes sparking with defiance.

  “It won’t be three years,” Chance confessed. “Gigi will be getting a scholarship she never applied for to an academic camp for the next couple of summers. Maybe by happy coincidence, you could just happen to be attending the camp too.”

  His brother beamed. “That would be awesome! I'm going to go tell Dean! Thank you!” Jackson ran back into the house and, as he opened the door, shouted over his shoulder, “But we're still going.”

  Their road trip had an auspicious beginning; a forecast of clear skies and Logan's rarely-used Subaru hadn’t needed a jumpstart.

  “Do you two get carsick?” Logan asked. Only Dean did.

  ‘See? Jackson doesn’t get carsick because they're not identical!’ Chance barely kept himself from saying. He wasn't an artist like Dani, so he couldn't really put the difference into words, but it was obvious to him that his brothers didn't look exactly alike and it was bizarre that nobody else could see it. Chance set that useless argument aside and turned on some music while Logan administered anti-carsick meds.

  After a minute, Logan turned down the volume and said, “Nobody wants to hear that.”

  “It’s okay,” Dean said from behind Chance. At least someone appreciated his music!

  “What do you guys want to listen to?” Logan asked, but silence reigned in the back seat. “Your brother has horrible taste in music.”

  “I know he does!” Jackson said, startling everyone. He’d only heard a few seconds of that! How could he have that strong of an opinion? What had Julian and Xander told them? But then the boy turned to his twin, “Oh come on, Dean, you listen to that emo crap. Even Logan could sense your bad taste from the front of the car.”

  Ahhh. He was talking about Dean’s taste. “Oh, like that’s so much better than dubstep or electronica! That isn’t even music! That’s an excuse to grind against people in a dark club!”

  They squabbled a bit over what constituted quality music, and Logan quietly told Chance, “This is the authentic brother experience. Luckily, I’ve got this covered. Boys, what do you think of rock? I’ve got Led Zeppelin, Aerosmith, Metallica…”

  Dean and Jackson, forgetting they had spent two days anxiously behaving like angels, immediately made gagging sounds. Finally, the We Must Behave Or Else seal had been broken! Chance shook with laughter and turned off the radio.

  Chance looked in the rearview mirror and grinned at his brothers. The boys insisted on both dressing in Jackson's clothing so their family couldn't accuse Chance of being a Super-Gay Influence. It was a sad supervillain moniker, but it made Chance feel more empowered. Besides, how could living with Chance possibly be worse than letting their boys live on the streets for three months? It had been one thing to let Nana take Chance in all those years ago without argument, but to completely abandon these sweet, wonderful kids?! There were no words to express how furious that made him.

  “How about you keep your mouths busy by going through the road trip bag?” Chance suggested. He'd helped his boyfriend fill the car with ‘road trip essentials’ he'd picked up the night before. Logan insisted on bringing along colored pencils and ‘adult coloring books,’ which were supposedly calming, despite the fact that both boys asserted that if they didn't involve naked people, they were just coloring books and they were too old for that. The boys rummaged around in the bag and must have found something to catch their interest, because the car was suddenly silent.

  They stopped a few times to snack and stretch their legs, but everyone was anxious to get to their destination. Gigi had suggested that they pick her up from school early and get lunch together, but Chance couldn't let her cut classes. However, missing yearbook club after school was entirely acceptable. They were in the student parking lot twenty minutes before the final bell rang, and Chance's brothers were vibrating with excitement.

  “I feel sketchy lying in wait to kidnap your sister,” Logan complained yet again. When put like that, of course what they were doing sounded creepy. But Chance was her brother, and they were just borrowing her.

  “Chill,” one of the boys said from the back seat. “Other parents and buses are waiting. Who will have issues with her brothers driving her home?”

  When the back door opened, everybody jumped a foot in the air.

  “Scooch over!” a strikingly beautiful girl with golden blonde hair told her little brother. Gigi tossed her gigantic, overloaded backpack into the trunk and shoved her way in. “Let's get some food, and we can hug the stuffing out of each other when we get there. I've been too excited to eat!”

  Chance followed her directions to an out-of-the-way sandwich shop, and everyone bounded out of the car. Gigi hugged her little brothers simultaneously and then gave each a separate hug before flinging herself into Chance's arms. His little sister smelled like strawberries and joy; he wondered if she'd smelled like that as a little girl and kicked himself for not searching for his siblings years ago. Logan was next to get a hug and Chance's man looked both shocked and touched. Why would he be surprised? Logan was the most huggable, lovable, wonderful person Chance had ever known.

  “I'm so so so happy to meet you!” Gigi shoved the twins. “See? I told you he'd be awesome, you morons. Okay, c'mon, I'm starving!”

  Gigi flounced into the restaurant and Chance stood gape-mouthed for a second until Jackson said, “Yeah, I know. She's a lot like Julian. I guess every family has one.”

  “Only the lucky ones,” Logan said, grinning, and they followed her inside.

  Once they had their sandwiches and settled at a table, Chance reached into his pocket and said, “Before I forget, here's your phone. I already know our grandparents don't have wifi so don't worry about data. I want you to use this to video chat with us whenever you want.”

  She stared at the phone as if it were a diamond engagement ring and Chance had just proposed marriage. Gigi gingerly took the phone from his hand. “I promise I'll find somewhere safe to hide it.”

  “An economy-sized pack of menstrual pads,” Chance's adorable boyfriend blurted loudly. The twins blushed bright red and Jackson slouched down in his seat with a quiet moan of embarrassment. “What? Even if you don't use them, nobody is going to search through it, even if your grandmother is trying to assess what supplies she needs to put on the shopping list.”

  “She's more likely to check to make sure I'm not pregnant, but I'll tell her they're the wrong brand or something and I'm keeping them just in case. That's a great idea.” She shoved the phone in her pocket. “How'd you think of it?”

  “My brother's wife likes to hide things there,” Logan said, and Chance debated telling Dani that her decades-long secret hiding spot was no longer a secret. Her husband Greg must have found it and shared the knowledge with Logan. But Dani’s secondary hiding place was a ziplock baggie inside a bag of kitty litter and was a pain in the ass to access, so maybe Chance would wait a while to tell her; Greg always used his sneakily-acquired knowledge for good.

  They then chatted about everything and nothing. Gigi had already given Chance all the important information about the twins she thought he'd need to know, so now was just a stolen hour to enjoy each other's company. All too soon, their time was up; Chance's sister was expected home. She pulled the boys’ birth certificates and a few photographs out of her backpack, all she’d been able to rescue from their father’s apartment, and they dropped her off two blocks from home.

  They waited roughly seventy-three minutes before knocking on their grandparents’ door. After an inordinate amount of time, a gruff voice asked, “Who’s there?” Chance waved at the peephole. The boys had stubbornly refused to stay in the car, and Chance wondered if Grandfather could see his whole gay little family and whether he recognized him and whether
being recognized would be a good thing.

  The door swung open and revealed the old man who had once been his grandfather. “Took you long enough,” he said.

  “I just met my brothers two days ago,” Chance said, holding in his fury. “Listen, I just need you to sign some papers and then we’ll be on our way.”

  “Give it to me, and I’ll mail it back to you.”

  “No. Considering you let your grandchildren live on the streets for three months, it shouldn’t take much thought to sign away your rights to them.” Logan’s hand on Chance’s shoulder calmed him. “Please. You can take some time to read them over, but the boys need to be put on my health insurance and get enrolled in school. Do you know where I can find our father, so he can sign the same paperwork?”

  The man looked him up and down, taking his measure. When it looked as though he might refuse, Chance added, “We brought Gigi some cookies and a slice of the boys’ birthday cake. I’m sure she’d let you have some.”

  Grandfather eyed the Moore Delicious pastry box. “How do you know about Gertie?”

  “I spent a few minutes actually talking to my brothers.” Ugh. They actually called that poor girl Gertie. “I’d like to take her home with us.”

  “No.”

  “Then let me come in, meet my sister, and make sure she’s in a safe, healthy environment while you sign on the dotted line.” It was all Chance could do to hold it together and appear calm and firm. He shook the cookie box lightly, reminding the man of the delectable bribe, and Grandfather grabbed the box, turned on his heel, and walked inside, leaving the door open.

  Accepting the man’s cordial invitation, they stepped inside, took off their shoes, and followed him. The house hadn’t changed in the past two decades, except that there were a girl’s school portraits where his once had been and several places where other photographs had clearly been removed, erasing the boys from their lives.

  “Who is it?” Chance heard Grandmother ask as they took off their shoes.