Plus One

by Sarah L. Young

  "Yeah, sure, Ma," he said, walking over to me. He took my bag from my hand and I was too distracted by everything that was going on around me to tell him that I could handle it all by my lonesome. So he took my bag and he wordlessly led me up the stairs and to my new room. It felt weird, knowing that this used to be his sister's room. I felt almost like I was taking over his sister's life, or at least taking on his sister's role, in a sense.

  I walked up the stairs, self conscious of the fact that I was wearing my dirty sneakers not only indoors but also on their nicely carpeted stairs. I trotted up the stairs lightly, trying my very hardest not to make a mess or even make a sound. When we reached the top of the staircase, Jeff turned sharply to the left and pointed into a dark room. He entered and turned on the light, showing me a beautiful blue room. It was filled with books on one entire wall, and there was a desk in the area directly adjacent to the books. Then there was the bed. The bed was huge and luxurious beyond belief. There was an enormous canopy of silk hanging over the entire bed. It was a regal purple, and the sheets matched the colors and the paisley design. Jeff set my bag down on the dresser which sat next to my bed.

  "So this is it," he told me, as if this was what I should have expected. "My sister really likes her privacy, so they got her this canopy so that she could hide herself off from the world when she got upset. I guess you could do the same thing."

  "This is so beautiful," I told him breathlessly. "I've never seen a room so big. And all of these books! And the bed!" I knew that it was immature and stereotypical of someone who was moving into a new room, but I ran over to the bed and threw myself on it, giggling. Jeff stood there smirking at me.

  "You're such a dork," he said lovingly. "Just like my sister, and pretty much the rest of my family. Well, present company excluded of course."

  "Of course!" I mocked. He smiled at me.

  "Yeah, you'll fit right in with these nerds." And with that he walked out of my room and I heard him walk down the stairs and rejoin his family. In the silence I let my head fall down and hit the pillow gently. I breathed a deep sigh of relief. I finally felt safe again. I felt like I could finally breathe. And then, I began to cry. Why did I have to be here? Why couldn't I be in my own bed, in my own home? None of this was fair.

  Just then, Mrs. Stanton came into my room. She rushed over to the bed, sat on its edge, and carefully patted my head. "No, no," she soothed. "Don't cry, don't cry. You'll be okay here, I promise! We have everything that you will need in the next few months, and more than that! You'll be okay here, we won't let anything bad happen. Okay? It's okay. I promise." I didn't feel any better. Her words had no real meaning, but the sentiment behind them was genuine. As she sat there rubbing my back like Emily's mom had the night before, I realized that I couldn't remember the last time that my own mom had sat with me while I was upset and rubbed my back. This made me more upset. "There, there, sweetheart. I'll give you a minute. You can come downstairs for dinner whenever you feel ready. I know that what you're going through is rough.

  "Well, actually I don't," she admitted. "I have no idea what you're going through, how you're feeling, any of it. Just know that I'm here for you. We all are. I hope that you'll join us for dinner, but if you don't feel up to it, then there is absolutely no pressure. The last thing that I would want is for you to be upset about something so trivial. It doesn't matter, we want to get to know you a little bit better. You're part of the family now." With that she rubbed my shoulders gently. She got up from the side of the bed and, with a final pat on my shoulder, she walked out of the room and closed the door behind her, leaving me alone once more in the room with nothing but my deafening thoughts. They boomed around in my head, demanding to be heard.

  One of them shrieked that my mom kicked me out because she never really liked me. She never wanted to be a mom and I was born too early in her life for her to be happy. I was never planned, never wanted, and never loved. That was why she never rubbed my back anymore or sat with me and comforted me while I cried. That was why it had been so easy for her to get rid of me, pretend like I didn't exist. She had never wanted me in the first place.

  Another voice reminded me that I was a guest in the Stanton family's home and that I was being incredibly disrespectful by ignoring the meal that they had so lovingly and graciously prepared, that I was ignoring their company. I didn't want them to get the wrong impression of me, that I was rude and ungrateful if all that they had done, of all that they were going to continue to do for me over the next few months to come. I kept spiraling around the fact that I was being so rude, but that only made me more anxious and less willing to go downstairs and spend time with the Stanton family. These thoughts kept going on and on until I fell asleep in my clothes on top of the covers at six-thirty on a school night without having had any supper.

  CHAPTER SIXTEEN

  Emily

  After Lexi left in Mr. Stanton's car, I stood there awkwardly in the doorway watching her leave, watching as I let some stranger take her away from me. I wished that I could have been able to save her. I was her girlfriend, I was supposed to be there for her, I was supposed to be the one to swoop in to save the day. But I couldn't. I didn't have enough money to keep her at my house or to help her be able to afford her own place. I felt completely and utterly useless.

  Once the car had completely disappeared from sight, I walked back into my living room. I sat down on the couch but couldn't focus on anything other than Lexi. I checked my phone to see if she had texted me, but of course she hadn't, it had only been a couple of minutes. I turned the sound on my phone on in case she called or texted me; in case she needed me. I laid down, the exhaustion of the day finally beginning to catch up with me. I rested my eyes for a moment and when I opened them the room had gone completely dark. I hadn't turned on the lights that day because all the natural light coming in from the window had kept the room well lit, but now that the sun had set, the room had gone dark with the night. I checked my phone again to see if Lexi had called me or texted me, but she hadn't. I thought about calling her to make sure that everything was okay with the Stantons, but then I got a glimpse of the time. It was eleven-thirty, and she was probably sleeping. All there was on my phone was a text from my mom letting me know that she would probably be home around midnight, maybe a little bit later.

  I decided to get up and go to my room, but by the time I had gotten back into my bed I had fully woken up. Oh great, I thought to myself. Really, just perfect. All I wanted to do was to go back to sleep but that didn't seem to be an option. I plugged my phone into the charger connected to the wall next to my bed. I didn't bother plugging in my headphones because my mom wasn't there anyway to be bothered by my noise. I turned on Netflix and switched to an episode of How I Met Your Mother that I had seen before about a thousand and one times. I listened to the voices as if they were white noise as I drifted off to sleep.

  When I woke up the next morning I realized that I hadn't been to school since Monday that week and decided that I should probably attend, even if my mind would be miles away. I didn't want anyone to get suspicious, and on top of that I was pretty sure that Lexi would be at school. Mr. Stanton had made it clear yesterday morning when he had stopped by that Lexi's education was of the utmost importance. I didn't think that he would let her stay home for the day. If she was going, I didn't really have any valid excuse to stay home all day feeling sorry for myself.

  I got ready for school, showering, eating my oatmeal, and then finding some clean clothes to wear. My room was still a mess from yesterday when Lexi and I had been rummaging around looking for some clothes that she could borrow until the Stantons took her to get some new clothes. Then again, who really knew when that would be. I finally found some clothes that were warm enough for the day but also acceptable for gym, which I was going to have first period that morning.

  I walked out to my bus stop and stood there shivering in the wind. I was a couple of minutes early for the bus, but that was intentional. I had alw
ays gotten to the bus stop at least five minutes early, but when I had started high school I began getting to the bus stop at least five minutes in advance of being five minutes early. My mom wanted me to get checked out for anxiety because of my fixation with time and always being early, and even being early for being early, but it wasn't really a compulsion for me. For me, it was all about the free time, or rather those few stolen minutes of complete quiet before the noise of the bus and eventually everything at school. It was a few minutes for me to wake up, relax, and mentally prepare myself for the day. I went through my schedule in my mind. First, I had gym class where we probably wouldn't be doing anything important, and then I had current events, lunch, and then study hall for the other two periods of the day. I could leave early if I wanted to, but I didn't feel like walking all the way home. I was okay with staying at school for study hall and catching up on everything that I had missed over the past two days.

  After a few minutes the rest of the kids on my bus had started to file over to the corner where our bus stop was. I nodded as each of them bid me a good morning in the gloomy dark. A couple of the younger girls, probably sophomores and freshmen, congregated a few feet away from me. They murmured quietly about the cold and about the dark but little else of substance. I plugged in my headphones and started playing music loudly enough that I didn't hear the girls' pointless conversation. After another couple of minutes, the bus came and all of us filed in one by one.

  The regular noise level of the bus was slightly lower than normal, and it clicked suddenly that today was Thursday, and Thursday was church school day. This meant that about half of the kids who normally rode my bus would instead be sitting bored in some old church school room getting lectured at. For me it meant that I didn't have to deal with all the noise on the bus, for which on that particular Thursday I was quite grateful.

  When I got off the bus I was still in my own little world. The underclassmen all buzzed around me while I sauntered my way into school. I still had a full half-hour until the first bell of the day rang, marking the beginning of the school day. I decided to go to my locker first to grab the spare pair of gym shoes that I kept in my locker, as well as my world issues binder. I ignored the little voice inside my head that told me that I needed to go to my current events class right now to explain to the teacher that I had been feeling under the weather during the last class and that I hadn't been skipping, and that I wanted to be prepared for class that day. All those things were lies, so why put in the effort. The class was a total easy A as it was.

  Instead, I went to the one place where I knew I could find Lexi early in the morning, Mr. Peter's room. I didn't remember if she had his class first period, or even if she had him as a teacher this year at all, but I knew that she would be in there. She always went there first thing in the morning. He was one of the only truly caring teachers at the school, and Lexi had rewarded his kindness with her bubbling presence to start off the morning and monthly submissions to the school literary magazine that he ran in his spare time.

  I found my way to his room within a couple of minutes but was surprised when I didn't find Lexi in her regular spot in the front row, closest chair to the door. Then, in the back of the room where Mr. Peters sat at his desk, I caught a glimpse of her. She was talking to him, and he gave her his undivided attention. I walked in the room and after hearing only bits and pieces of the conversation I could figure out what they were talking about. Of course it's what they were talking about: the pregnancy.

  I walked up behind her and surprised her by wrapping my arms around her waist. When she realized that it was me, she leaned her head back against my chest. "I was catching him up," she told me with a sigh, gesturing at Mr. Peters. He nodded in response.

  "Have you decided what you're going to do?" he asked us. Well, it was probably less of a question for us and more of a question for her and only her. I wasn't the mother or the father in all of this, so I was going to have to get used to being ignored.

  "Yes," she told him. "I'm going to have my baby." He nodded his understanding, but a troubled look played across his face. "Don't worry, though. I'll still be in school full time. My education is the most important thing to me right now. Well, the second most important thing," she corrected, looking down at her belly and smiling. "But I'm still very dedicated to my school work and I won't let this derail anything."

  "I hate to be this guy," he started to say. I wanted to cut him off and tell him then don't be that guy, but I knew that that wouldn't be productive. "But are you sure that that's the best idea? I mean, have you thought at all about how you're going to be able to afford all of this? Babies don't come cheap."

  "Well, that's kind of complicated," she began. "When my mom found out that I was pregnant she was pretty furious and so she threw me out." Lexi tried to continue but Mr. Peters cut her off by enveloping her in a huge hug.

  "I don't normally hug my students," he told her. "But I think that anyone who has a heart would be able to understand that these are extenuating circumstances. So where are you living? Do you have a place? If not, then I'm sure that the guidance counselor or nurse or someone would be able to find you somewhere for the time being. Do you want me to find out who you should talk to about that? It's really no trouble at all."

  She laughed at his sweetness and his total devotion to his students. He was truly willing to go the extra mile for them. Or at least for her. And then she launched into her explanation of where she was staying, how, why, and all of that other good stuff.

  "Do you remember Jeff Stanton? You had him a couple of years ago for a creative writing class?" she asked him. When he nodded, she continued. "Do you remember his sister Clair?" Another nod. "Well, I don't know if you remember this or not, but she got pregnant a few years ago and she decided to keep the baby and raise him, so they know what I'm going to need, and they offered to take me in and help me afford everything. Because honestly, I don't have anything, and I don't have the money to be able to afford anything." He nodded, his face not totally registering understanding, but he was trying.

  "So Jeff is the father, I take it?" He asked her. She chuckled a little bit. "No, he's my best friend, and it happened to work out. So, we're sticking with this for now. I think that it could end up working out. The whole family really seems to care, and I think that they all really want for this to work out."

  "Ok, well, if you think that this could work, then by all means, I hope that it does." She nodded her appreciation back to him. I didn't think that he really believed that it could all work out, but if I knew one thing about Lexi, it was that she never gave less than one hundred and eighty-five percent. If there was anything that she could do to keep everything on track, then rest assured that she would do it. She was the most determined person I knew, and I was sure that she would use that determination for her child.

  "Wait, if Jeff isn't the father," he asked, starting to piece together the whole scenario. I knew what was going to come next, what was probably going to come next for the following few months ahead. "Do you have a new boyfriend? And why isn't he helping you out with any of this? Shouldn't he be inviting you to live with him or at the very least providing some money for all of this? I mean, where is he in all of this?" I looked over at Lexi, and her face showed the beginnings of a blush of shame. I felt bad. She was such a sweet kid, she shouldn't have to go through all the ridicule that came with what she was about to say.

  "Actually," she said, looking down at the ground. "I don't really know who he is. I went to some party and I was really upset and one of my friends was getting me drinks, and I had a little bit too much, and I wasn't thinking at all, and then some boy I didn't know came up to me and took me over to a separate room, and well—" but he cut her off suddenly, his face growing red and the little vein just above his eyebrow pulsing with anger.

  "That's rape," he shouted, surprising me. I hadn't thought about that, and it embarrassed me that I hadn't. "You were drunk, so you couldn't legally give consent. And
he was probably older than you! Have you contacted the police?" She shook her head. He looked like he was about to continue when she held her hand out, waiting for him to stop so she could explain.

  "I don't want all of that," she explained to him, her voice a little pained and tears forming in the corner of her eyes. His face seemed to crumble and he opened his mouth to say more, but she continued so that he couldn't. "I don't know who it was, I don't remember what he looked like at all, and I don't think that I know anyone who knows him. There would be no way that I could ever find him, and no one would ever admit having had sex with a drunk girl, especially if he's older."

  "That's what DNA is for," he told her. "They can do a DNA test on your fetus and compare it with the guys who were at the party, and—" but she cut him off with a head shake.

  "They would need to have probable cause in order to get DNA from any of the guys, and I wouldn't even know where to start looking for him. Okay? And I don't want for my baby to think that I don't love him or her, or that they were only born because someone took advantage of me. I don't want any of that. I love my child already, and I don't want them to have to go through that or be marked by that. And I don't want to get marked by that! I don't want people to see me in the halls and whisper about me. Please, I've thought about this."

  He turned around and put his hands up on his head. "I don't know if I can let you do that, let it go like that. Honestly, I don't give a crap whether or not you want to press charges, that's not what this is about. That's not the sort of thing you do in this situation. I'm pretty sure that it's a capital offense, and this kid needs to be punished! How would you feel if he did it to another girl?"