Tyger Pants - Cretin the Cruel
Page 14
Chapter Fourteen
Every Cloud Has a Silver Lining
I stare at my silver hand in horror and try to flex my fingers. Phew! They move! At least I’m not solid silver!
I experiment with a step forward. The pounding weight of my foot sends cracks splintering out through the stone floor like strikes of lightning as it crashes down. Ah! Maybe I am solid silver!
I’m kind of revolted but thrilled and energised at the same time. Something deep inside is telling me that this is awful: I’ve been turned into a freak! But right now it feels awefull: I’m alive with excitement and fired with the chance to tackle Cretin and end this thing.
Cretin is busy trying to catch the battery wielding Bunsen as I stamp across the floor straight towards him, leaving cracked and slightly indented footprints behind me in the stone floor. Fortunately I don’t have to waste time dodging the werebeasts anymore; they just bounce off me like balloons.
Cretin has managed to trap Bunsen in a corner or at least he thinks he has until Bunsen drops to the floor and scuttles between his legs. He turns in a rage, shouting some interesting but unrepeatable curses. They stop mid flow when he sees me stomping towards him.
I throw my arms out wide and now it’s him trapped in the corner. There’s a look of horrified amazement on his face but still he slashes out with his hand, lightning fast, to rake his claws at my face. But they just scritch and skate across my metallic surface doing me no harm at all, whilst the mere touch of my silver skin makes him jerk back, gasping in pain.
Closing in I grasp him in a bear hug, clasping his arms to his side. Howling and whining he struggles against my unbreakable metallic grip but after a few seconds my silver touch sends him limp with weakness.
Ha ha! I’ve captured him!
Although what I’m going to do with him I don’t know. Maybe I should ask Tim to cast a spell to bind him up. No! Tim will probably grind him up. That will be too messy.
As I ponder the problem my eyes track a werebear as it zooms through the air. I’m still not sure what we’re going to do about all these leaping werebeasts either.
Movement from the floor drags my eyes from the leaping werebear and I notice that some of the wererabbits are starting to come around from their unconscious state and are scrambling to their paws.
A resounding thump has my eyes flitting in alarm to look at the other side of the room: the werebeasts outside are still trying to smash down the door.
“Howowowowll!” laughs Cretin. “You can’t defeat us all Victor! One of us will get the batteries back. This time you’ve lost. Loser!”
He’s right. I can’t grapple everyone! I can’t stop the doorway to Horrorville being opened again whilst I’m holding onto Cretin. But if I let him go he’ll be running around trying to get the batteries too! What am I going to do?
Hang on! Maybe I don’t have to stop the doorway being opened...
“Bunsen!” I shout. It comes out very loud and sounding a bit computerised, like Stephen Hawkins using a megaphone. “Put the batteries back in the Portal of Infinite Power and open the door to Horrorville!”
“What?!” snaps Bunsen. “How’s that going to help?”
“Just do it!” I snap, lumbering towards the Portal with Cretin still in my grasp. “I’ve got an idea.”
Grumbling and muttering Bunsen spits spurts of flame into the air as he flaps over to the Portal and rams the batteries back in. The shining disk of light re-appears as if it had never gone away.
“You fool,” sneers Cretin. “You’ve made my job all the easier! Behold the next werebeast arrives!”
The disk shimmers with colour as the head of a werewolf appears.
“Howowowowowlll! You lose ‘Victor’,” snarls Cretin, making the Victor sound very sarcastic.
I shove Cretin in front of me and force his head down so that he’s bending over, facing the portal. The other werewolf is halfway out by now.
“Hey! What are you doing you silver simpleton!” howls Cretin. “Once my army has crushed the Realm I’m going to melt you down and make a silver toilet out of you so I can sit on your face every day!”
“Yeh? Well sit on this!” I shout as I boot his butt as hard as I can.
Cretin hurtles forward, cart wheeling his huge arms as he crashes into the other werewolf, emerging from the doorway. The force of my kick and the weight of Cretin send them both flailing back through the doorway and they disappear with a flash of red light and a howl of rage.
“Tim! Bunsen! Quick! Guard this doorway whilst I get the rest of them!” I yell as I stride into the room and grab the first werebeast that leaps my way.
When I stomp back to the doorway, Bunsen is blasting flames through it to keep Cretin and the Werebeast Army on the other side. He stops just for an instant whilst I hurl the werebeast through.
And so I stomp back and forth across the room grabbing werebeasts and flinging them back through the shining disk to Horrorville. The ones that aren’t leaping try to put up a fight but every time they attack me they’re instantly weakened by my silver touch. So it’s not long before I’ve snared the last leaping wererat and sent it squirming and squeaking through the disk.
With Bunsen still sending flames jetting through the doorway to keep the werebeasts back, Tim bends down and fiddles with the Portal, muttering a chant under his breath. Within moments the disk of shining light blinks out!
Whilst Tim continues to fiddle with the Portal, Bunsen sags to the cold stone floor, exhausted from the effort of constant flaming, and I clunk down next to him.
That’s it! We’ve done it! It’s all over!
A tremendous thump and crash has my head jerking up in alarm. The door! I’d forgotten about the werebeasts stuck behind the door!
The trouble is, they aren’t stuck behind the door anymore! They have finally managed to bash it open, sending the grandfather clock smashing to the floor.
I jump to my feet as howling, yowling werebeasts flood into the room, trampling the splintered remains of the clock beneath their gnarly paws/trotters.