This Is Forever

by Madison, Natasha

  “How did you guys do this?” I ask, peeking in.

  “We did it after we got home from working out, Mom,” he says so matter-of-factly.

  “You guys were just busy as bees today,” I say, and he nods.

  “Okay, buddy,” Justin says. “Time to go finish dinner so we can eat.”

  Dylan nods at him and walks out of the room.

  I watch him with awe. “You …” I say, shaking my head. “You really are.”

  “I really am,” he says and grabs my hand, pulling me back into his room and through to the bathroom. I stop dead in my tracks.

  “Mother of God,” I say, looking at his bathroom. I don’t know what I was expecting—obviously, it had to be amazing—but I wasn’t expecting it to be so big. Double vanity sinks with marble counters and deep gray drawers under it. But the best is the floor-to-ceiling window with a deep white tub facing it. Right in front of a huge walk-in shower.

  “Just take your time,” he says, bending to kiss my cheek. “And we’ll be ready whenever you get out.”

  “But …” I start to say.

  “I’ll give him a snack,” he says, and I laugh when he walks out of the room. I sit down on the edge of the tub and rub my face. The beginning of the day, I thought I was done, that there was no light at the end of my tunnel. Yet I’m sitting in a room that is all light and no darkness. I don’t know what else is going to come, but I’m suddenly not afraid of the dark.

  Chapter Twenty-Five

  Justin

  Closing the door to the bathroom, I go into the kitchen and see that Dylan is sitting on one of the stools waiting. “You can go play a bit,” I say. “Mom is going to take a shower.” Before he moans that he’s starving, I tell him, “Get a cheese stick.”

  He walks over to the fridge and grabs two and then runs back to the room. I grab my phone and dial Matthew.

  “This has to be a record,” he says, answering the phone with a laugh, and I hear people talking all around him.

  “Yeah,” I whisper and then look to make sure I’m alone. “I need your help.”

  “Shit,” he hisses, and all of a sudden, the background gets quiet, and I hear a door close. “What happened?”

  “I have a …” I say, pinching my nose. “Let’s say Karrie was living in an apartment.”

  “Negative,” he says right away, and I groan. “Okay, okay, fine. Let’s play pretend.”

  “She lives in this apartment, and it gets vandalized,” I say the word, and I could swear Matthew stops breathing altogether. “When she wasn’t there.”

  “Justin.” He says my name. “I have to say I’m done playing pretend. What the fuck have you gotten yourself into?” I close my eyes. “I don’t think this is a good idea.”

  “What, would you just leave Karrie?” I ask him.

  “I love her,” Matthew says, then stops. “Wait.”

  “Yeah, whatever,” I say, not addressing the question.

  “Dude, you have to just move her shit into your house,” he says. “Just don’t even tell her.”

  “What?” I whisper, looking back again.

  “Just don’t tell her and move all her things in,” he says, and I look at the phone. “Or I mean, this worked once …” he says. “Just handcuff her to the bed and don’t let her out until she agrees.”

  “How are you even married?” I ask, and he laughs.

  “She never stood a chance,” he says. “But seriously, Justin, I don’t know what’s going on, but I’m assuming if you are this in, then you are all in?”

  “Yeah,” I say softly. “I’m all in.”

  “I’ll see you next week,” he says. “Things just got pushed up.”

  “There is a lot I haven’t told you,” I start to say. “Dylan’s dad”—I sigh—“um, he’s not really involved, and when he is, let’s just say it’s not good.” I wonder if by telling him this, I’m breaking her trust.

  “What?” he whispers.

  “I swear, Matthew, the kid is the best,” I say. “He is hands down the best kid I’ve ever met.”

  “Then that’s all I need to know,” he says. “Get your woman ready for us.”

  “There is not enough time in the year to get anyone ready for my family,” I say with a smile.

  “We aren’t that bad,” he says, laughing. “See you next week.”

  “Can’t wait,” I say, and I hang up the phone. After setting it on the counter, I sit down on one of the stools. I put my head in my hands, and I hear her voice in my head. My heart is in my throat when I think about the fact that she could have been there alone with Dylan.

  “Hey.” I hear her soft voice next to me, and I look up at her. She’s wearing what she was wearing last night. She looks so beautiful I just want to hold her and protect her. “What’s the matter?”

  “Nothing,” I say and move to get up.

  “If I have to be honest, then you have to be honest,” she says, and I turn around.

  “Fine,” I say, putting my hands on my hips. “I was thinking about the fact that I could have lost you and Dylan.” The way my chest rises and falls, I have to put my hand to it and press down. “That just like that, you could have been hurt, and there was nothing that I could have done.”

  “But I’m not,” she says, coming to me. “I’m fine.”

  “He brought that danger to your front door, and he doesn’t even care,” I say, my voice getting louder. “He left his child to face those guys,” I say, running my hands through my hair. “Like who the fuck does that?”

  “He’s a coward,” she says, looking down again, then looking up. “He’s always been a coward and inattentive.”

  “You could have been so hurt. Dylan, fuck Dylan, who has this heart of fucking gold, he could have been …” My voice trembles.

  “Justin,” she says, stepping closer to me.

  My hands go to her face, and I kiss her with everything that I have. I kiss her, knowing it could have been the last time. I kiss her, promising her everything that I have to give. I kiss her as a vow to protect and treat her like she should be treated.

  “Oh, God,” Dylan says, “you guys are always kissing. I’m starving.”

  And just like that, we both laugh, but I don’t let her go. “I’m starting the pasta now.”

  “Good,” he says, coming into the kitchen and climbing on the stool. “Mom, we made the sauce.”

  “Did you?” Caroline says, and I let her go as I go into the kitchen and turn the water on.

  “Yeah, but Justin had to call his mom, and she laughed at him.”

  “Dylan, bro code,” I say, smiling, and he just looks at me.

  “So what else did you do today?” she asks, sitting down on the stool next to him.

  “Justin has a special place where he goes to work out,” Dylan tells her. “It’s down the hall.”

  “It’s a gym,” Caroline tells him.

  “No, it’s an apartment,” he says. “He keeps it for his family when they come visit.”

  “Really,” she says, smiling at him. “Did you work out?”

  “I did,” he says. “Feel, I pumped iron.” He puts his arm in a curl. “And he made me a protein shake.”

  “Without protein,” I say. “It was basically a fruit smoothie.”

  “Then we went to the grocery store,” Dylan says. “And he bought you all the milk.” I put my head back and groan.

  “Not all the milk,” I say and then look at her. “I just didn’t know which you liked, so I bought you a couple of choices,” I say, and Dylan laughs.

  “It fills the whole door,” he says, getting down and going over to open it. Her mouth drops open.

  “What?” I shrug. “It’s just a little something.” Then I look at Dylan. “Remember what I said. You buy little things to make her happy and to let her know you think about her all the time.”

  “Yeah, and then we bought flowers,” Dylan says. “Mine are bigger.”

  “They are both beautiful,” Caroline says. “I�
�ve never gotten flowers.” She leans over and smells the roses.

  “What do you mean?” I ask. She got married; she had a baby.

  “I mean, no one has ever bought me flowers,” she says as if it’s fine when it’s not. I make a note to buy her flowers every fucking week.

  I finish making the pasta, and we eat inside at the counter in the kitchen side by side. I even make garlic bread, which burns a touch but still tastes good. When she gets up to clean, I tell her to sit down.

  “You know the rules,” she says, and I look at her.

  “You worked all day. I got the dishes. Why don’t you and Dylan go and choose a movie?” I say, and she doesn’t get a chance to answer because Dylan pulls her down to the bedroom.

  I have most everything cleaned and put away the leftovers when she comes back into the kitchen. “Are you almost done?”

  “Yes,” I say.

  “You did a lot today,” she says, and I smile. “Dylan told me you said lots of bad words also when you were hanging the fort.” She rolls her lips.

  “I did.” I laugh. “There were a couple of colorful words, but I told him that you aren’t allowed to say them until you’re forty.”

  “You aren’t even forty.” She laughs, and the sound fills the room.

  “You’re beautiful when you laugh,” I say, and she blushes. “You should do it more.”

  “Something says that with you around, I’ll be doing a lot of smiling,” she flirts with me.

  “Is that so?” I grab her hips and pull her to me, and she laughs.

  “I found the movie,” Dylan says, and I look at her.

  “When my family comes, my brother is going to babysit him for a whole weekend,” I say, and she stops laughing.

  “When is your family coming?” she asks me, and I see the nerves set in.

  “You’ll get to meet them next weekend,” I say, and the horror sets in.

  “I don’t think it’s a good idea,” she starts to say, but I don’t let her continue.

  “Well, I told them about you, so if you don’t, my mom will think you don’t like her.” I totally play the low card, but I have no choice.

  She stands there with her mouth open, and then closes it, and then opens it again. “But …”

  “Then my sisters will want to know where you are, and I’ll have to say you don’t want to meet them.” I walk over to the freezer and take out the ice cream.

  “You wouldn’t do that,” she whispers.

  “Dylan, come get ice cream!” I shout for him and get the ice cream cones.

  “I chose the ice cream,” Dylan says. “I want a big scoop.”

  We get the ice cream, and she glares at me as I give her a cone. We walk to the fort, and I press play, and I about groan when I see that it’s Frozen. “Why?” I ask him.

  “I wanted to know why you don’t like this,” Dylan says, hiding his laughter while he licks the ice cream. We start watching, and twenty minutes in, Dylan is all into it, and I lean over and pull Caroline to me.

  “Will you lay with me?” I ask, and she leans down and kisses my lips, her lips all sweet.

  “Yes,” she says softly. I wrap my arms around her, and she lays on my chest. With her head on my chest, her hand on my chest, her in my arms, and Dylan beside me, I know this is where I was always meant to be. I don’t even give a shit that he’s playing the movie I hate most in the world or that he laughs when I groan.

  After Frozen, he puts on Tangled, and I swear he’s doing it to punish me for kissing his mother. I turn to the side, and Caroline drapes her arm over my stomach and looks up at me. “This has to be the best night I’ve had since I gave birth to Dylan,” she says softly. “Thank you for giving us this.”

  “For you two,” I say. “Anything.”

  Chapter Twenty-Six

  Caroline

  “Sweetheart,” Justin whispers from beside me, and I open my eyes. He’s got me wrapped in his arms since we laid down. I was going in and out of sleep, trying to keep my eyes open. “Do you want me to carry you to bed, or are you okay with sleeping here?”

  “What time is it?” I ask, looking up at him.

  “Almost ten,” he says, and I bury my face in his chest, laughing. “Thank God, he fell asleep before the last credits. I think he would have chosen Beauty and the Beast next, and I think I would have put my foot down.”

  “You lie,” I joke with him. “He has you wrapped around his finger.”

  “I can be mean,” he says, and I look up at him and see that his hair is everywhere.

  My hand moves up to play with his hair. “Yeah?” I ask him, trying not to laugh at him. The whole night was a dream. Coming home after this morning, I didn’t think I would be able to think of anything else. But here with Justin, he made me look at things differently.

  “Yeah,” he hisses and then leans down and kisses me. At first, it starts with just a peck, and then the peck gets longer, and he leans down, this time, lingering even longer. The next time he comes back, I slide my tongue out and slip it into his mouth. I push myself into him, and he rolls us to the side and takes the kiss deeper. His tongue invades my mouth, and his kisses leave me itching for more. Wanting more. He leaves my mouth and slowly moves down to my neck, and I give him access and close my eyes, his smell all over me. He rolls me to my back, and his arms on either side of my head hold him up. My legs open for him, and I wrap my legs around his waist. His mouth comes back to me, and he kisses me again, and then he stops suddenly. “I really, really don’t want to stop,” he says. I suddenly get a rush of embarrassment, and I lose eye contact with him. “Hold on tight, sweetheart,” he says, and I look at him confused. “We’re going to do this, just not next to Dylan.” He motions his head to the side where Dylan is on his back passed out. “I’m getting up now,” he says, and he wraps one of his arms around my waist and picks me up. My arms and legs tighten around him, and he walks out of the fort.

  I bury my face in his neck and rub my nose against him back and forth, giving him little soft butterfly kisses. He walks us to his room and puts his knee on the bed and slowly lowers me. My hands loosen their hold of him, and just like that, his lips are on mine again. The kisses are everything you dream of. When you’re a little girl and you read all the fairy tales about the handsome prince coming to save you, this is what you dream the kisses are. This is what you dream would happen.

  My hands roam from his neck to his shoulders softly down his back, and then I take the biggest step. I raise his shirt, and I finally touch him where I’ve wanted to touch him since I saw him without his shirt. My hands roam to the front of his shirt, and I slowly move them up over his abs and one hand rests on his chest right where I feel his heart beating under my hand. “Justin,” I say breathlessly when he leaves my lips and slowly kisses me from my cheek to my jaw and then slowly kisses me down to my neck and right behind my ear.

  “Everything,” he says, and my eyes close at the sound of his soft voice. “Everything about you is perfect.” I shiver at his words. His mouth is on mine again, and this time, I’m the aggressive one. I can’t get enough of him. I want to touch all of him. Whatever the future holds, all I want is this moment right here. It’s a moment that when I’m seventy and talking to my grandkids, I’ll tell them about this man who became my prince for a short while.

  “Justin,” I say his name over and over again as he kisses, licks, and nips his way down. His hand goes under my shirt, and I arch my back, itching for him to touch me more. Itching to feel his skin on mine. “Take it off,” I say as soon as he cups my bare breast.

  “Fuck,” he hisses, and I move my hips up just a bit so I’m lined up with his covered cock. “I need to close and lock the door,” he says and gets up, walking to the door and shutting it. “I don’t think I can face Dylan if he comes in here, and I’m trying to get busy with his mother,” he jokes, and I hide my face and laugh. “Don’t do that.” His voice comes out again, and I look at him as he takes his shirt off. My stomach flips, and m
y heart speeds up. “Don’t hide from me.”

  “I’m not hiding from you,” I say, getting on my elbows. “I’m just shy.”

  “Don’t,” he says, coming back to the bed and standing at the edge. “Don’t ever be shy in front of me.”

  “But …” I start to say. “I just ….” I try to find the words, and I know this could totally change the course of tonight. “I’ve been with one man my whole life.”

  “What?” he whispers.

  “I mean, you knew I wasn’t a virgin,” I joke, and he just shakes his head. “But Andrew was the only one I’ve been with, and I know …” I try to not make eye contact. “I can guess you’ve had your share of women.”

  “Wow,” he says. “This is not something I thought we would be talking about before I tried to get you naked.”

  “I don’t know about naked,” I joke with him, “but you were for sure going to reach second base.”

  He puts his hand to his chest. “Can we use hockey terms?” he asks.

  “I don’t even know what second base means in baseball. I just said it for, you know, the meaning.”

  “How about I’m skating into the zone,” he says, and I sit up now, laughing.

  “Okay, you were going to be skating in the zone,” I say, “but before the zone, I wanted you to know.” I take a deep inhale. “Here goes nothing,” I say and peel the shirt over my head, and just like that, I’m topless in the middle of his bed. He doesn’t say anything to me. He just stares at me, and I suddenly want to take it back. I grab the shirt at the same time as I cover myself, but he pulls the shirt from my hand.

  “I’m so skating in the zone,” he says, and he falls forward on me, and just like that, the awkward moment is gone, and in its place is the need that was there before. His mouth crashes on mine while my legs circle his waist, and he holds himself up from crushing me with one arm as he cups my breast. “Jesus,” he hisses when I feel his hardness under me and move my hips.

  “Nope,” I say breathlessly, waiting for his mouth on any part of me. “Just Caroline.” I try to joke with him, but he goes one up, and his mouth sucks in one of my nipples, and I close my eyes and put my head back.