Play It Again

by Aidan Wayne

  “We might have to edit out most of that bit, or cut the video around the parts she’s in. I tried to film mostly you though.”

  “Can you sort of fuzz out her back or something?”

  “Yeah, I can censor her. That shouldn’t be a problem.”

  “And we’ve got to slow-mo me bumping into that guy.”

  “You sure that wouldn’t be kind of...in poor taste?”

  Dovid tilted his head. “You think so? I don’t. It sucks that I ran into someone, and it’s going to have some people up in arms. I think putting an effect on it would make it a little more lighthearted.”

  “Maybe... Oh, oh, here comes the server. Turning the camera back on.”

  “Hi, there. My name is Anthony, and I’ll be your server today.” There was the sound of something being set down in front of him on the table; probably the menu. “Can I start either of you off with something to drink?”

  “Do you guys have a braille menu, by chance?”

  “Oh, um. I... I can certainly check. Would you like anything to drink while I go do that?”

  “I’ll just have water to start with, thank you.”

  “I’d like lemonade please,” Rachel said.

  “Got it. I’ll be right back with your drinks and a new menu.” Anthony’s footsteps moved away from the table.

  “Still filming?” Dovid asked.

  “Yeah, go ahead.”

  “Okay,” Dovid said to his future-viewers, “if we’re invited to a place to review it, the staff is usually briefed ahead of time, especially given my situation. The places are also usually proud to boast that they’re properly accessible, but at this point I’m sort of guessing that the owner invited me knowing about my restaurant reviewing and not about the blindness. You know as well as I do that most of the places that invite me personally have introduced a braille menu. I’m sort of skeptical that this place has one. That’s not necessarily a negative against them, but it’s kind of confusing. How do you even know about my channel and not know I’m freaking blind?”

  “Here we are,” Anthony said, setting two heavy objects on the table. “Water for you, and a lemonade for you. And I’m so sorry, but I asked and I don’t think we have a braille menu. But, um...”

  Dovid squashed a sigh and tried to sound polite. “Yes?”

  “Are you guys Don’t Look Now? If you aren’t and don’t know what I’m talking about just forget I said anything, but I—”

  Now Dovid grinned. “Hey yeah, we are. You a fan?”

  “Yes! I watch you guys with my sister. She’s going to freak that I met you and that she didn’t. Oh my god, am I going to be in one of your videos?”

  “Yup,” Rachel said, and it sounded like she was grinning too.

  “Oh my god, that is so awesome. Could I, um, I’m so sorry to fan out over you, you probably just want to eat in peace, but could I have a picture?”

  “Sure,” Rachel said. “I’ll take one of you and Dovid together. You have a phone?”

  After Anthony had his picture taken with Dovid, he cleared his throat. “Right, um, yes, well. Thank you so much. And now I will be your very dignified server. And oh god, I’m so sorry we don’t have a braille menu, I know that’s like, one of your big deals.”

  “It’s not your fault,” Dovid said. “Rachel’ll just read me everything like she usually does when this happens.”

  “I could recommend you something too, if you want?”

  Dovid raised an eyebrow at Rachel. Bernice had already listed off a bunch of recommendations, but that had been mostly for background noise. Besides, at this point, Dovid was way more partial to Anthony than he was to Bernice.

  “Yeah sure, go ahead.” He smiled. “What do you think we should try?”

  Anthony suggested two sandwiches, a pasta dish, and three desserts, including something called the Cookie Monster Madness Milkshake.

  “We’ll take one of everything you just said,” Dovid told him. “Rachel, is there anything else you want to try?”

  “Oof, I wish, but no, that’s already a lot of food. I’ll be content with three desserts.”

  “Oh yeah,” Dovid said. “Could I also have some coffee?”

  “Sure thing,” Anthony said. “I’ll bring that to you now.”

  Dovid smiled again. “Thanks a lot.”

  “N-no problem.”

  Once Anthony’s footsteps had retreated again, Dovid turned to Rachel. “I like him,” he announced. “He’s cute.”

  “You only like him because he just fanboyed all over you,” Rachel said, the laughter clear in her voice.

  “That did add to the cuteness factor, yes, but—”

  “But you like his voice.”

  “I do like his voice,” Dovid said.

  “This is totally going into the blooper footage.”

  “Aw, no, don’t be mean. He’s nervous enough as it is.”

  “I won’t show him, I’ll just find a creative way to highlight that you thought your server was cute.”

  Dovid shrugged. “Okay, sure. Anyway, read some of the menu out loud to me? We still need the voice-over for the menu pan.”

  “Right, sure. Oh, wait, hold up. Your crush is back.”

  “I brought you your coffee,” Anthony said, setting two things down on the table with a click. “Cream and sugar are next to the coffee.”

  “Thanks.”

  “You’re welcome. And, um, your orders will be up soon. Anything else I can do for you right now?”

  “That’s all,” Dovid said, after Rachel stayed silent. “Thank you.”

  “You’re welcome!”

  Dovid moved his hand on the table until he reached the mug and placed it in front of him. Then he grabbed the creamer and sugar and set it to the side. He drank his coffee black, for the most part.

  “Alright,” he said to Rachel. “We’ve got a window without interruptions. Read to me?”

  “Sure thing.” Rachel read down the menu, and Dovid had to admit that the cafe had some really interesting and tasty sounding dishes. He also liked the creative names of them all.

  “The menu is fun,” he told the camera, once Rachel was finished. “And I admit to being partial to the staff. Or rather, our server seems great.” Rachel snorted. Dovid continued, knowing she’d fix that in editing. “We ordered a total of six dishes. Way more food than even Rachel can eat—”

  “Hey!”

  “Do you deny it?”

  A sigh. “No.”

  “Right, then. Way more food than even Rachel can eat, but since our meal is being comped, we wanted the chance to try as many things as we thought we could stomach. So, entrees first, then desserts, and we’ll tell you what we think.”

  While they waited for their food, Rachel went to take whatever footage she wanted of the rest of the inside of the cafe. Used to this, Dovid waited in the booth and drank his coffee, absentmindedly going over what other things they could do for their next video. Restaurant review was a pretty well-liked subject, but the next video set to be released was another segment of Don’t Look Now’s “Day in the Life with Dovid” and he had been drawing a blank on what he should be doing or talking about.

  Maybe it was time to make another video on dealing with lack of creativity. He got away with those once or twice a year. It gave Rachel freedom to be really wacky with her editing too. Then again, Rachel usually had ideas of her own when Dovid drew a blank.

  “I’m back,” Rachel said, sitting down again in the booth across from him. She knocked into his leg with her foot. “And just in time; here comes our food, I think. I’m getting footage of all this.”

  “Here we are,” Anthony said as he placed several different sounding items down on the table. “The Fish it Were True Tuna Sandwich, the Eat Your Vegetables, Yes All at Once Mediterranean Sandwich, and the Grown-Up Mac and Ch
eese. I thought I’d maybe give you some time before I brought out the desserts? Unless, um, unless you did want them brought out now too—”

  “This is fine,” Rachel said easily. “I’d rather wait on the desserts, especially that milkshake. It’d be totally melted by the time we got to it, and that doesn’t make a good camera shot.”

  “Okay, yeah. Just signal me when you want those desserts, okay?”

  “Sounds good,” Dovid said, smiling. “Thanks.”

  “Right! Um, enjoy your food.”

  “We will.”

  “How old is he, you think?” Dovid asked once Anthony had left again. “Too young for me? Too old? He didn’t really sound like he could be too old.”

  Rachel kicked him under the table. “You’re not trying to pick up our waiter. We’re still reviewing. Focus.”

  Dovid sighed heavily for theatrics’ sake. “Fine, fine. Take your shots and macros. I’ll just sit here and wait to eat my food.”

  Rachel, of course, took her sweet time taking all the video and still shots for the food, moving plates and dishes around. Another reason why it was good they hadn’t been given the milkshake from the get-go; it really would have been totally melted by the time she was done. “Alright,” she said several long minutes later. “Tripod’s all set up again. I’m ready for you.”

  “Food?”

  “Already divided it,” she said, tapping the plate in front of him. “Tuna’s on the right, veggie’s on the left, and be careful, these sandwiches are stacked. Mac and cheese is at three o’clock.”

  “Got it,” Dovid said, once he felt out everything. “Clap?”

  “Clap.”

  He clapped, and then it was finally time for him to have fun again, instead of waiting like a lump while Rachel got fancy with her camera.

  “Alright, guys,” he said. “Why don’t we go with tuna first?” He took a bite of the sandwich and his eyebrows went up over his glasses. “Okay, I wasn’t expecting that, but the tuna is warm. It was probably warmer before Rachel took her billion macro shots—” Rachel nudged him under the table “—but it’s good. Not too much mayo which is nice. I hate it when mayo just oozes out of a sandwich. There’s lettuce in here too, pretty classic and something I happen to really enjoy with tuna.” He took a couple more bites. “It’s also got cheese, melted. Probably one of the reasons why the tuna itself isn’t cold. The bread is just this warm, buttery toasted goodness. Definitely a win for me.” He set the tuna sandwich down and picked up the veggie, carefully holding the whole thing together. It was a pretty big sandwich. “Okay, now the entree for all the vegetarians out there. This is the Eat Your Vegetables, Yes All at Once Mediterranean Sandwich, and the name is a mouthful, but the sandwich feels like it’s going to be one too. It’s a hefty sandwich. Here goes.” It took him a few tries to get a bite in, and he could hear Rachel giggling behind the camera.

  “Okay,” he said once he’d managed to finish his giant mouthful, “that is a good sandwich. According to the menu, it’s got zucchini, yellow squash, red and green peppers, and cheese. All the vegetables are really good. They’re grilled I think? And seasoned really nicely. The peppers are sweet, so the grill and cheese make a nice contrast. And the bread itself is...wow. I think they said they make all their bread in-house, right?”

  “Right,” Rachel said. “That’s what our hostess told us.”

  “Yeah, and it tastes like it.” He took another bite, chewed, swallowed. “Rachel, this is really good, you’ve got to try this one. I thought the tuna was good, but this is way better.”

  There was a pause while Rachel presumably took a bite, then, “Oh yeah, wow, that’s great.”

  “Right?” He nodded. “So far the food is a win for me.” He reached for the last dish, trading the bowl of mac and cheese for the plate of sandwiches. “Okay, last of all is the Grown-Up Mac and Cheese. It’s shell pasta, four cheeses, baked so there’s a nice crust on it.” He found the spoon in his little bundle of utensils and tapped the top of the pasta. “Yeah, hear that? That’s a baked cheese crust. And it’s supposed to have chopped broccoli and hot dog pieces in it? Not sure how the hot dog makes it grown-up, but I guess the broccoli is supposed to even it out or something. Anyway, this dish can also be made vegetarian, since you can ask them to leave the hot dog out. And now for the moment of truth.”

  He used the spoon to break the top cheese layer and scoop up some of the mac and cheese, cupping his hand underneath it automatically as he took a bite.

  “This is good too! Though at this point, I’m not surprised. The broccoli and hot dog are both chopped really fine, so they add flavor and a bit of texture without being too ostentatious. The pasta has just the edge of a bite to it, which, as you know if you’ve watched this channel, is how I personally feel pasta should always be made. The cheese is seasoned and look, look at this.” He took another scoop of pasta and lifted it above the bowl. “Rachel, am I right in saying that there are strings of cheese there?”

  “Yeah, and they look delicious. Finish talking so I can try some.”

  Dovid snickered. Rachel took forever with her macro shots while Dovid had to wait to eat; Dovid took time describing the food so Rachel had to wait. Perfect system. “Okay, so yeah, strings of cheese. So, what I mean is that the cheese isn’t this creamy, almost liquid sauce that a lot of mac and cheese is. This has different cheeses and textures. So yeah, definitely not your classic mac and cheese. But really good. I like this a lot.”

  “Okay, okay. Now gimme.”

  He snorted, but gestured at the bowl. “Alright, fine, I guess you can try it.”

  The next few minutes were just them eating a little more and talking. They’d pick and choose what dialogue bits and pieces to use during editing, but they’d found their audience really liked a more authentic “sit and chat” episode. Which was fine with Dovid. It was nice (and super cool) to be able to just be himself for a living. He was always going to be thankful.

  “Alright,” Dovid said, before he ate his way to being full. “We still have three desserts to try. Don’t fill up. Unless you want me to eat all of them by myself.”

  “Dovid, I will always have room for dessert. It’s like you don’t know me at all.”

  Dovid reached for the mac and cheese bowl again. “Did you eat all of this?” he asked incredulously.

  “You helped!”

  “I had like four bites.”

  “Shut up, shut up, I’m going to find Anthony and ask for our dessert.”

  Dovid laughed as Rachel got up. He mentally started going over his end-of-meal review while he waited. So far, the food was a definite win, service was decent, food came fast. All in all, a great cafe...for someone who was able-bodied.

  As it was, the food was good, and he was looking forward to the desserts, since they were going to be great, if the entrees were any indication of quality. But there were lots of good eateries around that had good food and were way more accessible. Wider places to walk or crutch or wheel, and braille menus offered, if the clientele was blind like Dovid was. And while Anthony was a great server (he’d come by to refill drinks, but had made sure to wait for a lull in conversation because “I didn’t want to interrupt you guys if you were filming”), Bernice hadn’t really known how to deal with Dovid. This was going to be sort of a mixed review.

  “He said it’d only be a few minutes,” Rachel said as she took her seat again.

  “Sounds good. Camera’s off for the moment?”

  “Yeah, what’s up?”

  “What’s your opinion on this place?”

  “Ah, figuring out the end-of-meal review, huh?”

  “Yeah. I mean, the food is great. The service was...mixed. Anthony seems really genuine, so I think he would have been fine even if we weren’t a show he’s a fan of, but Bernice did...not do a very good job dealing with a blind guy.”

  “Yeah, there’
s a wider aisle on the other side. I discovered it looking for Anthony.”

  “Seriously? Why’d she take me through the fu—freaking tables, then? And is it wide enough for a chair?”

  “Only if no one’s actually sitting at the tables. It’s still pretty narrow. And I’ve got no idea why she led us the way she did. I had some trouble navigating, and I’m sighted.”

  “Yeah.” Dovid sighed. “Sucks, because the food’s really good. I’d come here again. But I wouldn’t bring Marissa. Can you imagine? A blind guy and a wheelchair user trying to navigate this place?”

  “Yeah. Damn.”

  “Um,” from next to them. “I—sorry to interrupt, but I’ve got your desserts.”

  Dovid smiled, because Anthony deserved one. “Thanks a lot.”

  “Hang on,” Rachel said. “Let me turn the camera back on and get you putting the stuff down on the table.”

  “O-okay.”

  There was a definite smile in her voice when she said, “Okay, ready.”

  “Right,” Anthony said setting down a plate with a click. “Here’s the Bad for You and We Don’t Care Brownie. The Lavish Lemon Meringue Pie—” another click “—and, of course, the Cookie Monster Madness Milkshake.”

  “Thanks a lot, Anthony.”

  “Enjoy!”

  “We will,” Dovid said.

  “Right after I get more footage,” Rachel said.

  Dovid groaned and sank down in his seat.

  Chapter Two

  “Hello, everybody! I’m Sam, and welcome to another episode of Let’s Play Dire Straits.” Sam made sure everything was recording as he wanted, and then continued. “So, we last left off in the game on the precarious hill, trying to survive while the wind and rain beat down around our character. I’m going to work on constructing a hut to protect ourselves, so we don’t succumb to the weather and meet our untimely demise.”