by Aidan Wayne
Sam laughed. Dovid smiled.
* * *
“Hello, everybody, I’m Sam, and welcome to another episode of Let’s Play Brightforest.” Sam adjusted his headset and grinned. “I wanted to thank you all again for your support in this series. As many of you know, I gained a lot of popularity when my channel was, unbeknownst to me, plugged by Dovid and Rachel from Don’t Look Now. Well, Dovid and Rachel happened to be in town for their European tour. I was lucky enough to meet Dovid in person and, well, here we are.”
Which was Dovid’s cue. “Hi, guys! This is Dovid from Don’t Look Now and today I am without Rachel. She’s probably going to writhe with jealousy after she finds out what I’m doing, because I’m going to be playing Brightforest with Sam. I’m really excited about this because I’ve never done a let’s play before. But Sam is willing to work with me and my inexperience, which I’m really grateful about.”
“There’s nothing to be grateful for,” Sam said. “I’m just pleased to be recording with you.”
“Aw. Aw, guys, listen to this guy. Isn’t he great?”
“Just don’t say ‘adorable,’” Sam said, nudging him.
Dovid laughed, so happy he thought he might burst. “Okay, I won’t say it.”
It was actually really easy to do, on top of being fun. Since Sam was a Let’s Player and thus used to talking aloud and narrating while he played a game, it wasn’t hard to follow along with him and offer suggestions and ask questions.
“Alright so we’ve reached another chasm, with the option of going across a creaky rope bridge, or a fallen tree. The problem with these options is that, if you all will remember a few episodes ago, the fallen tree was rotted and we fell through it into the water.”
“And everyone knows rope bridges can’t be trusted,” Dovid said. “Huh. So what do you think you should do this time?”
“I was actually going to ask you that. Either way, it’ll probably end with our character getting a mite waterlogged though.”
“Rope bridges at least make for better dramatics?”
“That’s a fair point. The rope bridge it is. Alright everybody, wish us luck. We’re going to try it.”
There was a moment of silence, only broken by the music from the game, Dovid waiting with bated breath, and then, “Look at that, we did it! Mind you, the—” there was a creaking, sound, followed by a splash. “Ah. Well. Alright, so we got over the bridge but we’ll have to find another way back in the event we ever want to go back to that base. Oh dear.”
Dovid laughed. “I’m sure you’ll figure it out.”
“I will, but it’ll have to be next time. We’ve just about hit the hour mark.”
“Oh no, what? You mean I’ll have to wait til you do another episode to see what happens?”
Sam patted Dovid on the knee. “Sorry.”
“No, no, I get it. Okay, well, guess that’s it, guys. I want to say thanks again to Sam for letting me play with him. It was awesome.”
“And thank you for playing with me. So for now, that’s it, everybody. Thank you for watching.”
Dovid waited quietly until Sam said, “The recording is off. We’re not live anymore.”
He sighed and pulled off his headset and mic. “Man, that was so much fun. But I’m genuinely bummed now. I want to keep playing.”
Sam laughed. “We could always start a new game, like I said.”
“Yeah, but half the fun was playing it with you.”
“Well, I—we could keep playing, when you went home. Time differences allowing, we could Skype or chat on the phone while I played. It would be like me doing a let’s play, but just for you.”
“Just for me,” Dovid repeated faintly.
“It sounds like you rather like the sound of that,” Sam said with a laugh.
“I really, really do. And I’m definitely up for playing more. Oh man, Rachel is going to die that I got to do this with you. She’s way more of a gamer than I am.”
“Well,” Sam said after a beat, “maybe she and I can play another time. But this was just for you.”
Dovid’s breath stuttered. “Fuck, okay, no, I need to kiss you right this minute, come here.”
* * *
The Saturday passed altogether too quickly for Dovid’s liking, and soon enough it was evening again, Dovid back in Sam’s apartment to spend another night together with him. He and Rachel had an evening flight Monday night to get back to the States, and Dovid was fully prepared to get in as much Sam time as he could until then. Which, as Dovid explained to Sam, pretty much meant staying in Sam’s apartment with him, watching things together and playing games, and maybe going out for a walk, weather allowing.
“In less than forty-eight hours it’s back to only getting you as a voice in my ear,” Dovid said, from where he was happily snuggled into Sam’s side on Sam’s couch. “I’d rather spend all of that with you, instead of going out. With maybe the exception of the Leprechaun Museum with Rachel tomorrow. If that’s okay.”
“It’s very okay. This way I get to have you all to myself.”
Dovid smiled. “Same here.”
They got ready for bed early, but not with any intentions of using that time to actually sleep. It was more bare skin on bare skin, hands and mouths exploring, reveling in each other’s sounds.
Eventually their kisses turned sleepy and they rearranged a little, Sam on his back, Dovid’s head resting on his chest to listen to his heartbeat.
“Let me know if I’m squishing you,” Dovid said.
“Alright,” Sam said quietly. “But even if you were, I wouldn’t want you to go anywhere else.”
They drifted together, just listening to each other’s breathing, until a thought popped into Dovid’s head. “What’s your family like?”
“My family?” Sam asked, sounding surprised. Which made sense—after all, the question had come from seemingly nowhere.
“Yeah. I was just wondering. You’ve met Rachel and get along with her. I was wondering about your side of things. You said you had a brother, right?”
“Yes,” Sam said. “Charlie. He’s a few years older than me.”
“What’s he like?”
“Oh, he’s very nice. And quite successful. He’s a doctor over in Cork. He was wonderful when I was hurt; flew over to help me for a few days. Even brought me some things from my flat. His wife, Anna, is a dear too. She came with, and tidied up a bit for me. Even made a few meals so I didn’t have to worry about that when I’d just gotten out of the hospital.”
“That sounds great. It’s nice that you have them as a support.”
“It really is. You know, Charlie’s the one who suggested I try making a let’s play. Bought me my first headset mic. It was nearly a year later that I actually felt brave enough to do it, but still. The credit’s all on him.”
Dovid smiled. “I’ll have to thank him, if I ever meet him.”
“I hope that you do! Or... I’d like it if you did. I’ve never really had someone to introduce to him before. Maybe the next time you’re in, we could go to Cork for a visit.”
Next time. “I like the sound of that.”
“As for my parents,” Sam said, “my mother is a seamstress and my father works in sales. We get along alright. They were very nice to me after my accident, even though it was quite an inconvenience for them. Even bought me a new phone.”
Dovid frowned. “An inconvenience? That you’d been hit by a car?”
Sam shrugged against him. “Well now, it was inconvenient for everyone involved, really. Me especially I think.”
“Um, right.” Sam just kept saying this stuff about his parents that pushed all of Dovid’s buttons, but he was always so flippant about it that Dovid wasn’t sure how to react. “Yeah.”
“And they’re fine people. Just, you know, Charlie was the real standout, being so book sma
rt and handsome and in medicine and all. I was always a little too loud for them.”
Too loud.
Sam.
Too loud?
“What?” Dovid asked faintly. And suddenly he was struck with a vivid thought of a much smaller Sam taking a criticism to heart and walking around on eggshells because he was “too loud” for his parents. “What?”
“Erm, sorry,” Sam said, clearly confused. “What?”
No, this...it wasn’t his business to ask. That was Sam’s, and maybe one day Sam would be comfortable broaching the subject himself, but it wasn’t Dovid’s right to push. “Uh, nothing. Just, uh, just me wondering if maybe they wouldn’t like meeting me then.” He tried to smile. “I’m definitely louder than you are.”
“But you’re so interesting! And it wouldn’t be a problem that you’re a man either, as they know I’m gay.”
“Oh. Yeah?”
“Mm-hm. They have for ages. They weren’t angry about it, which was nice. I’ve been, you know, told I was a disappointment, but in the end I feel I was quite lucky.”
Dovid, already a little on edge, went white-hot with fury. “Excuse me? No. No, absolutely not.”
“Sorry?”
“You’re not a disappointment,” Dovid spat. And now that he had started, the dam burst. “Fuck them for ever making you think you were.” His parents had always been nothing but supportive. Of the being blind, sure, and then the YouTube thing, and the being-bi thing...
But he also knew he was lucky. Not everyone got parents like he and Rachel did.
“Dovid?” Sam asked, sounding hesitant.
“Sorry.” Dovid moved to take Sam’s hand in his own and lace their fingers together. “Sorry. I’m just...fuck. That’s not fucking fair, for them to treat you like that. For them to make you feel like that. I know my parents would love you. Let’s just... I’ll let you borrow mine, okay?”
Sam squeezed his hand. “Okay,” he said after a moment. Dovid wished he could see his face. His voice didn’t betray any particular emotion.
“Sorry,” Dovid said again. “I didn’t mean to...go and ruin the moment.” He rubbed his free hand over his face. “Fuck, I’m not even tired anymore, I’m just riled up.”
“Would you like to get up? I could make some tea.”
Dovid buried his face in Sam’s shoulder and groaned. “Ugh, no. Maybe.”
Fingers began to stroke through his hair and Dovid sighed into the feeling of it. But part of him was upset over the fact that Sam was the one offering comfort to him.
“I’m sorry,” he said yet again. “It’s not my business, unless you want it to be. I just...you’re so great. You’re like one of the best things that has ever happened to me. I have been so, so happy talking to you these last few months. Dating you is something else entirely, being able to be here with you—I love you so much. I just want everyone else to know how great you are. To treat you how you deserve to be treated.”
“Thank you,” Sam said quietly. “I... I won’t pretend that sometimes I wish things were different. That I was better than I am.” You don’t have to be, Dovid thought furiously. Don’t do that to yourself. “But it’s—” He cleared his throat. “It’s a great pleasure, knowing you, and knowing that you like me the way I came.”
Dovid opened and closed his mouth a few times before he eventually settled on, “Yeah. Hard same. So just...remember that, alright?”
The fingers in his hair never faltered. “I’ll do my best.”
“Um.”
“Yeah?”
“Is it...do you feel okay being kissed right now? It’s cool if you don’t, I just... I just want to,” he said, feeling foolish.
“I think I always feel like being kissed by you,” Sam said, voice colored with amusement.
Dovid had to smile at that.
* * *
Sam stared up at the ceiling for a long time once Dovid had fallen asleep, a warm, comforting presence curled into his side. He couldn’t help but replay the words Dovid had had to say while he had been awake.
“That’s not fucking fair, for them to treat you like that. For them to make you feel like that. I know my parents would love you.”
Sam had never questioned how his parents interacted with him. He had only wished to be better, so that maybe one day they would...would like him more. But he hadn’t doubted that he’d deserved their displeasure. He had been a bothersome child, what with being so clumsy and gangly, and had grown into a disappointing adult who they knew would never have a standout job or bring home a person (wife) they approved of or...or any number of things.
And he knew all of that because...
Because they had told him so.
“I just want everyone else to know how great you are. To treat you how you deserve to be treated.”
Someone as wonderful as Dovid loved him, and Sam had changed nothing about himself. Rachel liked him too, as did his viewers. He couldn’t even pretend to doubt that; he was making money because people liked him. Because strangers on the internet (and not-so-strangers he had started to interact with more regularly) liked who he was. His personality, his way of speaking, and he often did talk about his day-to-day life in videos, just for something to say. Mentioned his shyness, his fears, had his silly little asides. And they liked that. Told him so in comments, talked about their own insecurities, asked genuine questions.
For the first time in his life, Sam considered the possibility that, well...
That maybe his parents were wrong.
* * *
Sunday morning, Sam had another bit of a lie-in with Dovid before they got up and went out for a proper Irish breakfast. They met Rachel afterwards and went to the museum together, going through the tour and then the gift shop. Sam felt a bit bad, because a lot of the visuals were lost on Dovid, especially the tunnel of optical illusions, but they all had a good time regardless. Dovid cracked a lot of jokes.
It was drizzling slightly when they emerged into the daylight, so Rachel decided that the next order of business was to track down a toy store and buy some blind boxes for Sam to review. In the end, she and Dovid picked some out for him and purchased them without him seeing their choices.
“So it can be a real blind bag,” Rachel explained. “This way everything gets to be a surprise, both for you and the viewers.”
“Alright. That sounds good.”
They went to lunch next, and after, made their way back to Sam’s place. He gave Rachel the cursory tour, and then told the two to make themselves at home while excusing himself for a moment to set his Brightforest video to public. Dovid had suggested they upload the video Saturday, after they’d finished filming it, but not to put it live until Sunday afternoon, just to give Sam some experience in doing staggered videos.
Something buzzed a moment later.
“Hang on,” Rachel said, pulling out her phone. “Sam! You just posted something?”
Sam rubbed the back of his neck. “Yeah. It was Dovid’s idea. We recorded something together yesterday.”
Rachel turned to Dovid, aghast. “You did not!”
Dovid grinned. “Sorry.”
“You’re not sorry in the least bitty bit, shut up. I’m so jealous,” she moaned. “You got to watch him play.”
“Not just watch,” Dovid said, grin turning wicked.
Rachel let out a sound of deep betrayal before pausing, expression coming up all thoughtful.
“Okay,” she said steadily, “how’d you present it to the class?”
“What do you mean?” Sam asked.
Dovid shrugged, seeming to know what Rachel was asking. “We said I was visiting Ireland, which, true, and that we wanted to do a collaborative. Also true.” He tilted his head. “There might have been some very gentle flirting.”
Rachel pinched the bridge of her nose. “So the fact that you two
are dating is going to be all over the internet in about thirty seconds.” She didn’t sound upset though. More resigned.
“We figured it’d be safe. People do collaboratives all the time. And they all know for a fact that we’re friends now.”
“Sam? You don’t care?”
“Not really,” Sam said easily. Because this, at least, was easy. “I’m very happy to be dating Dovid. I’ll just be reacting to any questions the same as I did when we first started talking and say that we like our privacy.”
Rachel nodded. “Works for me. Now, let’s go ahead and get set up for your blind bag unboxing, while I resist the urge to drop everything and watch your Brightforest update.”
* * *
“Dovid?” Sam said, breath catching as he checked his current view count for the latest video.
“Yeah?”
“I...it looks like the collaborative was a hit.”
“Oh yeah?” Dovid leaned forward and grinned. “What’s up? Spill.”
“One hundred thousand hits and counting,” Rachel crowed, looking up from her phone. “Man, I am so mad I’m not watching it right now.”
* * *
Monday was still wonderful. It carried a haze of melancholy, but Sam did his best to push it aside and embrace the now. Right now; the moments Dovid was still with him.
They lazed in bed for ages, and, upon finally getting up, Dovid expressed his disappointment that Sam’s shower wasn’t big enough for them to share it. Instead they both hopped in and out quickly so as not to waste time, and brushed their teeth side by side while the mirror was still clouded from steam.
They stayed in for breakfast. Sam got the coffee started while Dovid prepared the tomatoes for frying, and then Dovid set the table while Sam got things cooking in the skillets. They stood together at the stove, sipping from their mugs while they waited for the food to be ready and then got it all plated. They sat down across from each other, knocking legs accidentally, and then much more deliberately while they ate. Dovid leaned against the counter while Sam did the dishes, drying whatever Sam handed to him and keeping up an easy, winding conversation.