She hoped Alex would take the cue and simply kiss her. But she didn’t. She only nodded.
When Alex reached for her hand, Emily fought back a wave of disappointment. Now that they’d ironed out that a relationship was off the table and this couldn’t be anything more than sex, Alex was out. The lingering question of whether or not Alex was a player disappeared in that one moment.
“Whoever gets you is going to be one lucky woman.”
“I could say the same to you,” Alex said. “Your ex didn’t know what she had.” She gave Emily’s hand a gentle squeeze and then let go. “Mediocre French toast, or eggs and bacon?”
Emily dropped her shoulders. “French toast. But I’ll make it if you give me a minute to get dressed.”
“Take your time. I’ll start some coffee.”
Alex closed the door carefully behind her and Emily sank back down on the bed. She knew she’d hurt Alex’s feelings, and even if she knew it’d been the right thing to say—to make it clear that Alex shouldn’t hold out any hope—she wanted to take it all back. How could they spend the rest of the day together?
The door opened and Alex wheeled in her suitcase. “Figured you probably wouldn’t want to go downstairs to get dressed. The heater hasn’t kicked in yet down there.”
Emily got up to take the case. As she reached for the handle, she brushed Alex’s arm. She noticed Alex take a subtle step back and her chest tightened. Alex didn’t even want her close.
“Thank you.”
“I got the coffee started but I’m waiting for you on the French toast. Maybe I can learn a thing or two from watching a professional chef.” Alex’s smile seemed forced. “Anything else you need up here?”
“Would you mind if I took a shower?”
“Go right ahead. There’s shampoo and everything, but I’ll bring up some warm towels too.” She started out and then paused in the doorway. “Oh, I was thinking I should probably call the airline and set up your flight. When do you think you’ll want to head out?”
“As soon as possible. I feel so much better than I did yesterday. Tonight, if there’s anything available.”
Alex nodded. “I’ll see what I can do.”
Instead of coming up with some excuse to keep her upstairs, Emily only watched Alex go, carefully closing the door behind her. Alex being nice and helpful smarted more than if she’d kicked her out. With a sigh, she pulled her suitcase over to the bed. When she got back home, what was she going to tell Gianna about this part?
Chapter Thirty-four
Alex caught her breath as Emily stepped into the kitchen. Still damp from the shower, her brown locks fell past her shoulders like smooth dark silk. Her eyes shone brighter than ever, outlined by her long lashes, and her cheeks held a pink flush from the hot water. She was dressed simply in a pair of jeans and a green plaid flannel. A second passed before Alex recognized that the flannel was hers. It certainly looked better on Emily, especially with the top two buttons undone. A white tank top peeked out from underneath.
Maybe it wasn’t polite to stare, but Alex couldn’t seem to do anything else. Despite how stunning Emily had been Sunday night in the silver dress and perfect flowing hair and makeup, Alex found her even more attractive now. Of course, she couldn’t admit that, and she was more than a little annoyed that her libido could be kicked into overdrive even after Emily had unceremoniously declared that she wasn’t good for her.
“Is it okay that I borrowed this?” Emily tugged at the bottom hem of the flannel. “I didn’t bring enough warm layers.”
“Definitely. My cabin’s a lot draftier than Katherine’s place. And you’re sick.”
“I know it seems too fast, but I think I might be all better. Or at least mostly better. My ear isn’t hurting at all.” She tapped her ear with her finger and shrugged. “Do you think the antibiotic could have worked that quick?”
“I could ask my brother.”
“No, don’t bother him. I’m just happy I’m better. Between sleeping in and that hot shower, I feel like a million bucks.”
“You look like a million bucks.” At this point, Alex decided, it didn’t matter if she was honest. But when Emily met her gaze and tentatively smiled, she wondered if attraction did more harm than good. “Coffee?”
“I’d love some. It smells heavenly in here.”
“Nothing smells quite as good as coffee first thing in the morning,” Alex said. “This one’s yours.” She handed Emily a mug. “I left room for cream. Sugar’s on the counter.”
“Mmm. You clearly know how to make a woman happy.”
After their earlier conversation, casual flirting felt jarring, but before Alex could decide what to say in response, Emily turned her back to pour cream into her coffee. Alex’s gaze fell to Emily’s butt. She had perfect curves for snug jeans. The longer she stared, the more she wanted to step forward and run her hands over Emily’s round backside. She quickly averted her eyes when Emily spun around.
“That was the wrong thing to say, wasn’t it? It’s not easy for me to be around you and not flirt.” Emily shook her head. “Maybe it’d be better if I left now.”
“You don’t have to leave. I can handle a little flirting. Even if it isn’t going anywhere.”
Emily’s brow furrowed. “Then why’d you look upset?”
Alex swept her mind for something she could say instead of the truth—I was admiring your ass and you turned around before I was done staring. “You caught me thinking.” Mostly that was the truth. “Before I forget, I called United. The soonest they can get you to San Francisco is tomorrow morning. Flight leaves here at six. Will that work?”
“That works. And it’ll give me time to decide what I’m going to say to Katherine.”
“What do you mean?”
“I’m not going to work for her anymore. I’d like to tell her why in person.”
Alex recalled what Emily had said before they’d spent the night together—that she couldn’t do anything that would jeopardize her job. They’d done exactly that. “I thought you needed her as a client.”
“I do.” Emily sighed. “But I’ll figure it out. I’m also thinking maybe I should get a hotel room tonight.”
“That’s up to you, but it’s not a problem for me if you stay. You could stay here all week if you wanted.”
“Aside from the fact that I have to work, I think me staying that long would be hard on both of us, don’t you?”
Alex didn’t answer. Emily’s “You’re not good for me” comment ran through her mind again. She went over to the cabinet where she stored the bread and set that out on the counter with the eggs and the jar of ground cinnamon. “I’ll confirm tomorrow’s flight, then. It’s been a while since I’ve made French toast. Is there anything else you need?”
“Alex.”
“Yeah?” Alex didn’t look at Emily. She opened the next cabinet and found a bottle of vanilla extract.
Emily tapped her shoulder. “Alex.”
Alex turned around and Emily didn’t step back. They were close enough to kiss, and the question of whether or not Emily was about to do exactly that blocked out all other thoughts.
“If I learned anything from my ex, it’s how to avoid hard conversations and play the everything’s-fine-when-it’s-not game. I can get us both through the day if we want to pretend nothing’s wrong. But I’d rather you tell me why you’re mad.”
Alex looked from the vanilla extract in her hand down to the floor and noticed the fuzzy green Kermit slippers on Emily’s feet. The lucky Kermit slippers. Between trying not to stare at Emily’s cleavage peeking out from the edge of her tank top and ogling her butt in the jeans, she’d entirely missed the slippers.
“I’m not sure if it’s karma or maybe just ironic,” Emily said. “I go to a sex weekend to get over the baggage Cass left me with, only to be drawn to the one woman who doesn’t want casual sex and is a poor communicator.”
Alex set the vanilla extract on the counter. “First off, I’m a very go
od communicator—when I want to be. Second, I’m not mad, or upset, but you caught me staring at your ass earlier and I didn’t want to say that was what I was doing. Third, you’re wearing my lucky Kermit slippers.”
Emily’s lips curved, hinting at a smile. “Why are they lucky?”
“You sure you want to ask?”
Emily shook her head. She started to step out of the slippers, but Alex stopped her.
“You’re going to be cold down here only in socks. Besides, Kermit is sexy.”
“You could’ve lied and told me they were lucky ’cause you’d won them in a raffle.”
Alex grinned. “If you want, we can say that’s the reason.”
Emily gave the slippers another look. “Oh well. They’re on now.” She glanced back at Alex. “You sure there wasn’t something else on your mind?”
“Oh, there was. But I don’t feel like being a good communicator at the moment. I’d rather make French toast. I’m starving.”
Emily put her hands on her hips and gave Alex a long look.
“You’re really sexy when you do that. But I don’t want you to be sexy right now.”
“I think you can handle it,” Emily returned.
Alex looked over the ingredients lined up on the counter. Anything to avoid being turned on by Emily right this second. “What else do we need for French toast?”
Emily walked past her and picked up the loaf of bread. “I’m glad you got sourdough. It makes the best French toast.”
“I went to the store for Lucky Charms. Then I saw the sourdough and thought of you.”
“You see bread and think of me? Don’t know how I feel about that,” Emily joked.
“It was more about making French toast.”
“So you weren’t thinking of me?” Emily teased. “I don’t buy it.”
Alex couldn’t help smiling. She also couldn’t argue.
After a moment, Emily added, “Are you going to stay mad at me all through breakfast just because I’m sexy and you can’t handle it?”
“No.” Alex wasn’t actually mad, and she could tell Emily knew it. “But you in those Kermit slippers is a lot to take in.”
“Ahem, we’re focusing on French toast now.” Emily sniffed the bread and pursed her lips. “Not bad. But it is all about the bread.”
“Here I figured it’d be all about the butter with you.” Alex added the butter dish to the growing pile. “Cream?”
“That’ll do. You know that first night of the party when I asked you if you didn’t like rolls?”
Alex nodded.
“I had this image of you in my head.” Emily paused. “I was all wrong. I’d sized you up as a cocky player. Basically, like the first impression I had of Lara. And I felt intimidated by everything I thought you were about. Unfortunately, I was still drawn to you.”
“What does that have to do with rolls?”
Emily smiled. “Look at you being snarky.”
Alex chuckled. “Okay, maybe I deserve that, but I’m serious.”
“I couldn’t not talk to you. Rolls were the only thing I could think of, and I had to say something.”
“Even though I was a player?”
“You’re not. But yes. And honestly, if that’s what you were, things would be a whole lot simpler right now. Where’s your whisk?”
“Top drawer.” Alex pointed to the cabinet behind Emily. “Lara’s not actually like that either. The truth is, she’s got a lot of insecurities.” Alex leaned against the counter, watching Emily tap the whisk against her palm. “What part would be simpler?”
“What part about us, you mean?” Emily hesitated. “If you were a conceited player, it’d be easier to walk away and not wonder what could have been.” Turning back to the cabinet on her left, she cleared her throat and said, “Remind me again where you keep mixing bowls?”
Alex pulled a bowl from the shelf next to where she was standing and waited for Emily’s nod of approval before setting it on the counter. “So you know who I am and you still want to walk away?”
“Do I know you? I asked myself that when I was showering. I have no idea what you do. I don’t know what your life goals are, or who your friends are—unless Katherine counts.”
“TJ counts. We’ve been friends since we met working at Cisco back in the day. I don’t have many other friends. Lots of acquaintances, but not a lot of people I’d call if I needed to talk, you know? My brother is my closest friend and you met him. And you know the type of person I am.”
“I know you’re sweet and charming and…” Emily eyed the egg she’d selected from the carton and then sighed. “And perfect.” She cracked the egg into the bowl. Then another, but separated the yolk from the white. At Alex’s raised eyebrow, she said, “Makes it taste a little lighter. Not too eggy. At least I think so, anyway.”
“I’m not perfect.”
“Well, you seem like it.” Emily added in vanilla and cream. She reached for the whisk. “Just because I want to have sex with you and leave and not look back, doesn’t mean I’d be able to.” She added a pinch of cinnamon, whisked for a moment, and then added another pinch.
Emily set a pan on the stove and lit the burner. She added a pat of butter to the pan and watched it sizzle. “I don’t know how long it’ll take before I get you out of my mind, Alex. What I do know is that I’m going to compare everyone else I meet to you. And no one else is gonna come close.” She motioned to the loaf of bread. “Can you get out two slices?”
“I don’t know your life goals either. Or your friends. But I want to.” Alex handed over the bread.
“Gianna would like you,” Emily said. “She’s my best friend.”
“The one whose couch you sleep on.”
Emily nodded. “And at the moment, my big life goal is getting off her couch and into my own apartment. I’ve never lived alone. Your turn.”
“Life goal?”
“Or what you do for work.” Emily dunked the bread in the egg mixture. “You’ve gotta have an elevator pitch. Or is it a big secret? My guess is foreign investor.”
“Tech consultant. I worked for a bunch of the big guys for a while—Apple, Amazon, eBay—and made a ton of money. Enough that I felt like I could start out on my own. So that’s what I’ve been doing for the past eight years. Companies hire me when they have an idea that they want to take to market.”
“And you like it?”
“Parts of it I love. But I’m tired of all the travel.”
Emily nodded. “That’s what you said on the plane. I thought you were so cool then.”
Alex grinned. “Now you know better.”
“Now I know you’re better than cool.” Emily used tongs to lift the first piece of bread onto the frying pan and then adjusted the heat. “And your life goal?”
“I’ve had plenty of life goals. But each time I reach one, I wonder if it was the wrong goal. At the moment, I’m tired of being alone. I want to share life with someone. I want a family.”
“Wife and a couple kids?”
“Cheesy, right?”
Emily shook her head.
“I feel like I’ve been wasting time. I look around and I have things, but they’re only things. I want to find someone who wants to build a life with me. Wow, that sounds even cheesier out loud than in my head.”
Emily looked up from the frying pan and held Alex’s gaze. “Yeah, it’s cheesy, but I know what you mean. The thing is, being married isn’t all that.”
“I think that depends on who you marry.”
“Maybe.” Emily turned back to the stove. “I don’t want to get married again. Been there, done that. And it sucked. But I do want kids. I think that was the last straw with me and Cass. We hadn’t had sex for years and all of that, but I kept thinking we had a pretty good life together otherwise. We were at a point where I wanted to have the kid conversation. I thought she wanted them too—she always said someday she did. Turns out, somewhere along the way she changed her mind.”
“I’m sor
ry.”
Emily shrugged. “I could make a long list of things we should have talked about. Anyway, finally I realized that if I wanted to have kids, I could make it happen alone.”
“You want to have kids alone?”
“Why not?”
“Kids are a lot of work.”
“So are relationships,” Emily said. “I’m not saying I wouldn’t like to have someone to love, someone who wanted to share life like you said. But it’s not what I’m looking for at the moment.”
“First you’re getting off your friend’s couch?”
“Exactly,” Emily agreed. “Life’s been full of baby steps lately.”
When Emily turned away from the burner to dip the next slice of bread, Alex occupied herself getting plates and utensils. The kitchen filled with the smell of the French toast cooking—butter, cinnamon, and sugar—and Alex’s stomach rumbled. As hungry as she was, though, she’d trade eating for watching Emily in the kitchen all day. She breezed from one thing to the next, slicing oranges, flipping French toast, and whipping away the items they’d taken out of the cupboard, all while looking as sexy as could be.
When she finished dusting the French toast with powdered sugar and the bag puffed in her face as she closed it, sending little flecks of white into her dark hair, it was all Alex could do to keep her hands to herself. Emily was the best and worst kind of temptation. She wanted sex and nothing more. Their different life goals seemed to prove how incompatible they were. And yet Alex had to make certain she didn’t step too close. If she did, the desire to pull her into a deep kiss and satisfy her desires would win out. But more sex would only leave them both worse off.
Wouldn’t it?
Chapter Thirty-five
Alex was easy company in the kitchen, which meant that she stayed out of Emily’s way but knew when to step in to help. As much as Emily usually liked that, in this case Alex being helpful and perceptive only made everything harder. More than once, Alex quickly stepped out of the way to avoid any chance they’d brush against each other. On the third time it happened, as Emily was hanging up a towel and Alex sidestepped around her with one of the plates laden with powdered-sugar-dusted French toast, Emily caught the other opposite edge of the plate Alex held.
One Weekend in Aspen Page 26