Behind the Lens (Home in Carson Book 1)

by Renee Harless

  Time stood still as they lost themselves in the moment. It was only the two of them as the world drifted away. He wondered if she felt the significance of this moment.

  The spell was broken as Logan’s hushed voice reached Cliff’s ears. “I feel like we’re encroaching on a special moment.”

  “Shut up,” Dylan replied to him. A grunt quickly followed and Cliff assumed that Logan was at the receiving end of Dylan’s fist.

  Continuing past the kitchen, Cliff walked into the small, but comfortable living room, depositing Alexis carefully on the couch. She winced as he settled her legs against the cushion, whispering an apology as he tucked a pillow under her head.

  Lifting a finger in the direction of his friends, Cliff barked, “You have five minutes while I go make sure the bedroom is ready for her. And before you ask, I plan on sleeping on the couch. She will take the bed.”

  With one final glance over his shoulder, Cliff watched as Logan approached Alexis, his medicine bag in hand. Down a narrow hallway, Cliff entered his bedroom. The space was small, just enough for a queen-sized mattress and a dresser, but that’s all he needed. He can see how cramped it may seem to a woman.

  Ripping the sheets from his bed, he rolled them in his arms and tossed the ball of cotton on the floor, the stark white of the sheets was a deep contrast to the dark stain of the wood floors. Grabbing a clean set from a shelf in the closet, Cliff quickly made the bed and replaced the duvet.

  Bending down, he lifted the balled-up sheets into his arms and headed back down the hallway, stopping first to make sure that his bathroom was tidy. Despite his razor and shaving cream on the counter, it was clean enough. Years overseas in the Army taught him to take pleasure in a clean space. He did his best to maintain it.

  After throwing the laundry in the washer and starting a cycle, Cliff made his way back out to the living room where Logan was closing the latch on his bag.

  “She’s going to need help changing the dressings on her shoulder and thigh. It’s going to take a few days before she can put more pressure on her leg. Little to no walking unless it is with the crutches I’m going to bring by tomorrow.” Cliff nodded, but Logan turned his attention back toward Alexis. “I mean it.”

  “Fine,” she grumbled and Cliff smiled for the first time since she arrived at his shop. They both knew she’s going to do whatever she could to get moving around.

  Cliff’s pocket began to vibrate and he fished his phone free finding a security alert at his cabin. But instead of a grimace, he smiled broadly at the group.

  “It seems Mama Connelly couldn’t wait any longer. She’s pulling up as we speak.”

  “She can’t see me like this!” Alexis fretted, her body moved as she tried to sit up, but then her face immediately turned white. Cliff imagined the blinding pain became too much.

  “You look beautiful. Now, stay still,” he commanded, his smile returning as she settled back down against the cushions.

  It was not long before a knock sounded on his front door and Dylan moved to answer for him. Amy Connelly was no threat and Cliff would much rather stay by Alexis’ side.

  Rushing through the entry and right over to the couch, Mrs. Connelly knocked Cliff out of the way and kneeled beside Alexis, taking her hand. “Oh, you poor dear. I heard what happened and I was just so frightened for you. You must have been so scared.”

  “I’m okay, Mrs. Connelly. I’ve been through worse,” Alexis tried to explain, but by Amy’s expression, she was having none of it.

  “Now, don’t you go lying to me, young lady. It is not every day you get chased down by a drug cartel that happens to be run by your father.”

  Everyone in the room grew quiet, the only sound Cliff could make out was that of his teeth grinding together. No one was supposed to know that Alexis was here.

  “Amy. . .” Dylan began, but Mrs. Connelly quickly hushed him.

  “Don’t you worry about how I got my information. I have my ways. The Lady Busy Bees have nothing on me, my dear boys. But you don’t have to worry, only people of importance will know.”

  Dylan groaned loud enough to earn him a devilish glare from his mother-in-law. “Which means the entire town knows.”

  Standing, Amy rested her hands on her hips looking exactly like a mother of six would as she prepared to scold one of her children. “Of course, they do. How else do you expect us to protect her? It wasn’t too long ago you needed our assistance, don’t forget what we’re capable of, young man.” Watching the fiery gaze in Amy’s eyes had Cliff realizing one particular thing. He wasn’t scared of much in this world, but being on the receiving end of Amy’s wrath sent trickles of fear down his spine. It was amazing.

  Dylan quickly apologized, “Yes, ma’am. You’re right.”

  Her expression quickly morphed back into that of a doting mother as Amy turned her gaze back toward Alexis. “Of course, I’m right. Women usually are. You’d think he’d have learned this by now. Maybe I need to have a talk with Sydney. Which reminds me, everyone will be meeting here tomorrow.”

  Cliff looked around the small space wondering how everyone would fit, just as Amy added, “Don’t worry. It will be a lovely day tomorrow; we can all go outside if need be. And we’re all bringing a dish so if anyone happens to be on the bad side of things, they’ll think we’re just having a cookout and housewarming party.”

  Cliff shook his head knowing that Mrs. Connelly would have come prepared with a grand scheme to fool anyone not on the up-and-up.

  “Logan, dear, please put my bag in the kitchen. I brought soup for Alexis and the meatloaf special from Angie’s for Cliff.”

  He wanted to kiss that woman. She brought his favorite meal.

  “Thank you, Mrs. Connelly.”

  “Of course. Now, I’ll be heading back home. I left Joseph burning some cardboard boxes in the backyard, and knowing the pyromaniac in him, I’m going to go home to half of the yard burnt to a crisp.”

  Everyone, including Alexis, laughed at her joke. “At least as fire chief, he’ll be able to put it out quickly,” Alexis added.

  “Very true. Good night all.”

  Mrs. Connelly left just as quickly as she came. Dylan and Logan were not far behind, leaving Alexis and Cliff lingering in the living room alone for the first time since she arrived.

  A quiet tension filled every empty space in the room. From across the space their eyes met, and Cliff held his breath, too afraid that their moment would be broken. Why had this woman affected him so? What kind of spell did she place on him all those years ago that left him craving her? He wanted an answer, needed one, but just the thought of her not being as affected by him left a bitter taste in his mouth.

  “So. . .” Alexis whispered from her residence on the couch and Cliff immediately regretted staying silent for so long. He probably made her feel uncomfortable and that wasn’t something he ever wanted her to feel with him.

  “Sorry. I can. . .ugh. . .heat up the food for you.”

  A small smile slowly blossomed on her lips transforming her face and Cliff felt his heart jerk in response. He couldn’t help but think that he needed to get a better handle on his emotions around Alexis or his natural instincts to protect her would fall by the wayside.

  “That sounds great. Thanks. And then, maybe you can help me figure out how to take a shower?”

  Of course, she would want to get clean. He can’t even imagine the last time she had a chance to bathe. And after being hurt, Cliff imagined that she wanted all the dirt and grime off of her skin. But he only knew one way to help her do that without her hurting herself, he just hoped that he could control himself long enough to not cross any lines.

  “Yeah, I can help you do that,” he told her as he walked into his galley-style kitchen, popping the glass bowl containing her soup in the microwave. It took just a few minutes, but he carried the container to the living room and placed it on the end table beside his sofa. With a soft touch and a few curses from Alexis, he helped move her into a sitting
position. A quick trip back into the kitchen to heat up his own meal, Cliff joined her on the couch and they ate in companionable silence. But in Cliff’s mind, images of a naked Alexis ran through his mind. Like before, he knew he couldn’t let his stare linger on her body. He was too much of a gentleman for that. He wanted to relish seeing her bare to him the first time if they ever get to a more intimate part of their relationship. And until her father was caught, Cliff needed to keep those plans to himself.

  “Can you help me up?” a voice whispered beside him and Cliff startled. He had been lost in his thoughts and as his fork clinked against his plate, he realized that he had finished eating his meal without savoring a single bite.

  Cliff gathered his plate and her bowl, walked briskly to the kitchen to deposit the items in the sink, then he hurried his way back to Alexis.

  “Alright, up you go,” he explained as he leaned toward her, placing an arm behind her back and thighs, and easily lifted her in his hold. The corner of his mouth tilted upward as she released a small sigh.

  Flipping the switch in the bathroom with his elbow, he bathed the space in light. White penny tiles lined the floor and met the white marble tile in the shower. A navy-blue vanity with more white marble stood across from him and he moved to deposit Alexis on the surface. She flinched as he set her down, but she didn’t complain.

  “If you want, I can call one of the girls to come to help you bathe.” He hoped that she understood the other option of him assisting her in the shower. Cliff wanted Alexis to know that she always has a choice, he’d never make that decision for her. But she surprised him as her eyes narrowed and lips pursed, her good hand gripped the lip of the counter as if to break off a piece of the stone.

  “I don’t want one of your women to wash me,” she said through clenched teeth and Cliff had never seen jealousy look so beautiful until that second.

  He tried not to chuckle, but one escaped anyway. “I just meant that I could call one of the Connelly sisters to help. Harlan and Cassidy live just down the road.”

  “Oh,” she blushed, a beautiful rose color rose on her tanned cheeks.

  Lifting her chin with the side of his bent index finger, Cliff paused until she brought her eyes to meet his. “I would never put you in a position like that, Alexis, and I hate that you think that I would. I realize now that we knew very little about each other, but I can’t deny the reaction I have when I’m near you. I want to possess all of you, but only when you’re ready to give yourself to me.”

  Her eyes flicked back and forth between Cliff’s, but he waited patiently for her response. It took just a few beats until she replied. “You’re right and I’m sorry. I want to know you better. I want to know all of you and I’ve never felt like this about anyone so quickly.”

  “Don’t worry, we’ll take our time. I need to make sure that you’re safe first. And I may not be a saint, but believe me when I say that there isn’t a single woman that can hold a candle to you.”

  “Wow,” she whispered, leaning closer to him. He wanted to kiss her, needed it more than his next breath, but took a retreating step back instead. She was not ready for him yet despite her words.

  “Let’s get you in the shower, okay?” Cliff reached around his back and gripped the cotton of his T-shirt, tugging the material over his head without much effort. He tried not to smile at the surprised gasp he heard from Alexis. Despite the bullet scars and tattoos Cliff knew that his body was in peak shape. His shoes, socks, and pants quickly followed, the pile on the floor growing with each piece.

  Moving back toward Alexis’s perch on the vanity, Cliff reached out and applied soft pressure on her ankles. Against his fingers, he could feel her pulse spike.

  “Okay, sweetheart. Your turn.”

  ***

  Alexis didn’t know what came over her. She was so used to being the strong independent type, living up to her nickname of ninja, that allowing herself to be vulnerable seemed foreign. It wasn’t that she never wanted to let someone else take care of her, it was more that she had never had the opportunity. But something about Cliff was different. With him, she wanted to let her hair down, she wanted to let him ease her pain. This man that she’d met only a few times but felt like he knew her darkest secrets before she even uttered her name.

  Was this how it was supposed to be?

  Alexis had so many questions, but they completely fell to the wayside as Cliff’s fingers inched up her legs. He delicately removed the brace around her thigh, doing the same with the support holding her injured arm. His hand gently brushed her hair to the side as he slipped the Velcro free from the latch.

  She could feel his anger rise as she winced involuntarily at the movement.

  “I’m, ugh, not sure I will be able to tolerate the water on my wounds.”

  “That’s okay. You can sit on the bench and I’ll help you,” Cliff explained as he delicately maneuvered the shirt off her body. The movement had Alexis biting back a cry of pain. “Sorry,” he quickly apologized.

  Gritting her teeth, she replied, “Not your fault,” but Cliff just shook his head.

  Gently he lifted her hips up from the counter, his gaze trained to the task at hand and not her bare breasts a mere few inches away from his face. The pants pulled off her bottom easily but got caught on some of the tape surrounding the dressing of her leg wound.

  “We should probably take these off and put on a clean set.”

  “Cliff?” she prompted as he murmured to himself, his fingers lightly tugging away the adhesive of the dressing. “Cliff?” she said again and he finally looked up at her.

  “Why are you doing this?”

  Alexis couldn’t help herself from asking the question. It had been plaguing her since she felt lifted in his arms in the darkness of the night. He willingly brought her to his refuge and she wanted to understand why.

  His eyes latched onto hers immediately. “Doing what?”

  “This,” she gestured around with her good hand, not even caring that the sweatpants were dangling at her ankles. “Helping me, protecting me, taking care of me.”

  Alexis needed to know his motives. Did he just want to get in her pants? Did he feel the same attraction to her that she felt toward him? Did he feel obligated?

  And as the seconds ticked by, she felt the weight of his hesitancy on her shoulders.

  “It was what anyone would do,” he replied, immediately crushing what little hope Alexis had left. She’d been let down her entire life, what made her think that this man was any different?

  The room grew quiet again, the only sound was her heartbeat pounding in her ears as Cliff removed the gauze on her wounds. She didn’t feel the pull of her skin or the feel of Cliff’s touch. All Alexis felt was the overwhelming sting of rejection.

  “Okay. I think we’re ready.” Cliff’s voice broke through and Alexis’ eyes followed his retreating backside over to the shower.

  Defiantly she jumped down from the counter, wincing as she landed on her good leg. “I can handle this by myself. Thanks,” she told him, jumping on one leg until she reached the shower. Thank goodness for years of yoga improving her balance.

  But her balance was nothing against the sneer Cliff sent her way as she bounced his way. “Don’t,” he growled.

  “I’m very capable,” she retorted, wishing she could cross her arms against her chest, but she was already growing lightheaded from her movements. Alexis began rethinking her idea.

  “You have been shot, went through two bags of blood, and are turning the same color as the tiles on the floor. Let me help you.”

  “I’m not a charity case for you!” she yelled, and as she watched Cliff’s face turn red, she imagined if this was a cartoon steam would billow from his ears.

  “No, you’re not. You’re fucking important!” he shouted back in return, his chest rising up and down with his jagged breaths.

  Alexis couldn’t argue with him now. Even though she wanted to ask to whom she was important, but the caregiver at h
er last group home always told her to never poke a bear. She never understood that saying until this moment. And Cliff seemed like a bear that had been poked one too many times.

  She knew she should apologize for her irrational reaction. Hell, she even had the excuse of the injury and blood loss to blame, but she couldn’t bring herself to say the words. Alexis was stubborn through and through.

  But Cliff brought it upon himself to express his regret first, surprising her. With a hand on the back of his neck, he contritely stared at the floor as he said, “Look, I’m sorry that I yelled. I want to help you. I wouldn’t have agreed for anyone else.”

  Her head bobbed once in agreement as she reached out with her free hand to grip his shoulder. Effortlessly he guided her into the shower, sitting down on the bench first, then guiding her between his legs. Alexis was thankful that he kept the boxer briefs on his body because she wasn’t sure how she would have reacted had she felt his naked body against hers.

  “We’ll wash your body with the antibacterial soap first, then we can do your hair, okay?” he asked her in a soft voice, and she wondered if he was struggling with their proximity as much as she was.

  Whispering her reply, “Okay,” Alexis allowed him to rub the lathered washcloth over her skin, only relenting the material to her to cleanse the area between her legs. His touch was clinical in nature and she wondered how many times he may have done this for someone else. She knew enough about his military background but none of his childhood. That information was locked up tightly somewhere.

  As much as the warm water stung her wounds, she took pleasure in the thought of wiping away the last few days. Killing people was part of her job, but she hated how she felt afterward. Alexis understood how Lady Macbeth felt in Shakespeare’s play, that she could never wash the blood from his hands, dyeing the waters red instead. Of course, she always thought the character was a bit crazy. Maybe she was too.