The Friendship Equation

by J. R. Gray

  He turned around and locked me in a stare. "You just qualified for state and have quite a promising future with one of those recruiters present today, I imagine. You wouldn't want someone to make an inconvenient phone call and dash those hopes and dreams, would you?"

  "Are you threatening me? Do you think you can keep him away from me? It doesn't fucking matter if I don't go to college or if I don't get a scholarship. He's not going to care.”

  I said it with all the conviction in my heart. I had no doubts about our relationship. Nothing would keep him from me.

  "He'll see reason and what's best for both your futures with time."

  I opened my mouth to speak, but Liam came up behind the governor. "I can't believe you're doing this. He’s okay, Vance. They admitted him, but he’s okay.”

  "Stay out of this, Liam."

  "Stay out of it? Harden is going to fucking disown you when he wakes up. Do you not see what you're doing? He cares so much, and you are driving him away by making him pick between Vance and you. He's going to pick Vance because you're being an unreasonable douche."

  The governor stared in disbelief.

  "I'm not filling in for him when you drive him away either. I'm not your fucking golden boy like Harden is, and you can't morph me into one over the next two years. I'm not going to win state and smile for the cameras. If you want your gilded pony for show, you better get your head out of your ass and fix it with his fucking boyfriend." Liam shoved past me and stormed out the doors.

  Well, that was fucking awkward.

  The governor and I stared at each other, and I hoped Liam's words would knock some sense into him.

  "Don't come back here," he said at length.

  My hands balled into fists at my sides. I wanted to slug him. I wanted to knock him the fuck out. I wasn't a fighter and never had been, but I wanted to hit him so bad.

  "Fine." I had no other recourse. I couldn't find out how my damn boyfriend was doing. At least Liam had told me he was okay.

  I turned around and held my head up high as I walked out the door. The cool air blew over the moisture dripping down my face. When had my tears started? They splashed to the sidewalk, free-falling as I stared into the parking lot.

  My father was out there somewhere, waiting in the car, but I couldn't face him. Not like this.

  Harden would call me. As soon as he was alert enough. So why was I this fucked up over it?

  He had to be okay. His father said he'd come to his senses. He wouldn't have said that if Harden wasn't okay. I didn't doubt Harden...did I?

  No. Not even blackmail would keep him away.

  I willed myself to walk, to get away from this fucking hospital. To go find my father. He'd have sound advice. He always did.

  But I couldn't move. I stayed there as my tears fell.

  "Vance."

  It couldn't be...

  I turned to find Harden standing behind me, bleeding from the arm in a half-tied hospital gown. Dried blood was on his face.

  "Jesus, what the fuck are you doing out here?” I jogged over to him, checking his head, then grabbing his arm and pressing my shirt to it.

  "Let's go." His words were cold. Emotionless.

  "You're bleeding. We can't leave."

  "I'm eight-fucking-teen years old. I can leave AMA if I want to."

  "Did you even tell anyone you walked out of there? Or did you rip out your IV and run out?"

  "I'm not going to argue with you, Vance. Who drove you here?"

  I took off my coat and pressed it into his chest. "At least put this on while I call my dad."

  Shit. I dug my phone out of my pocket and called his number.

  "Is Harden okay?"

  "No. Can you come to the front to get us?"

  "Hurry," Harden added, which told me all I needed to know.

  "Us?" My father cursed and hung up, and I hoped he would actually get his ass over here.

  "Don't say it," Harden said as I shoved my phone back into my pocket.

  "We are going to talk about this later."

  "Sure. But not tonight."

  I nodded. I'd known him long enough to know when not to push it. He was at his limit.

  "Harden," the governor's voice growled out from behind us.

  "Don't you fucking speak to me."

  "We are not going to make a scene." Was that panic edging into his voice?

  "Oh, we are way past scene, Father. We were way past scene when you forbid my fucking boyfriend from making sure I was okay. We are fully invested in the scene now. I hope all the fucking press shows up. I hope me standing here bleeding in a hospital gown with my ass out goes fucking viral." He opened the door to my father's truck before he even came to a full stop.

  "You haven't even been checked out. You could die," the governor said through his teeth.

  "Good. Then Vance can tell the world it was your fault." His words punctured right through my chest. Harden turned to look at the governor. "You're really fucking lucky we weren't followed to the hospital, but say another fucking word, and I'll call the press my fucking self."

  “You’re being stupid, son. You have so much ahead of you.”

  “You should have thought of that when you threatened my boyfriend. When you tried to blackmail him. Just know if you make one fucking move, I’ll be going to college where he does. I don’t give a damn about Yale.” He slid into the back of the cab and stared at me. "Get in."

  I gave a backward glance at the governor, then climbed into the truck and pulled the door closed.

  My father turned around to look at Harden, and his mouth fell open. "You can't expect me to take him home like this!"

  "Don't make me go back to him," Harden pleaded, and it broke my heart.

  My father sighed. "Let's go back through into the emergency room. We don't gotta tell him you're still here. We'll tell them you don't want your mother or father in the room. But you got to be looked at, son."

  Harden stayed quiet for a long moment, then nodded. "Okay. As long as Vance can stay."

  “'Course he can. I'll stay too."

  Harden turned, burying his face in my neck, shaking in a silent sob. My father turned around and drove off, leaving the governor standing there. We went back in through the emergency room and explained our plight to the nurse. I don't know what she’d suffered in her life, but she took it upon herself to be our personal escort and advocate. She arranged for a new room so Harden's parents wouldn't know he'd come back and made sure everyone on the floor understood they weren't allowed anywhere near Harden. She told us she'd stand guard outside the room for the night if she had to. She hugged Harden before she left, and to my surprise, he hugged her back.

  My dad went to find some coffee, and we were alone.

  "Scoot over."

  Harden laughed and made as much room as he could in the tiny hospital bed. I slipped in next to him. He leaned into me, laying his head on my shoulder.

  "Thank you," he whispered.

  "For what?"

  "For all of you."

  Despite the day we'd just had, I smiled, wrapping my arm around him. "Thanks for pulling an escape. I was really worried about you."

  "Liam told me you were here and what the governor said. The blackmail."

  "Do you think he'll go through with it?" I asked tentatively.

  "Not if he wants to have any chance of keeping his name out of the mud. I'll make sure he knows it, too."

  I stayed quiet. I didn't want to comment on it. I hated the governor, but I knew this would be complicated. I didn't want to shit-talk him and hurt Harden more than he already was.

  "I couldn't let him do that."

  "I was really worried about you," I said, trying to keep it together for his sake.

  "I'm fine. They said I let myself get too dehydrated and worked up after the head injury. They only want to keep me overnight to monitor me."

  I breathed out all the pent-up emotion I'd been holding onto for the last couple of hours.

  "You b
eat Woods," I whispered.

  "I still can't believe it."

  "Will they let you swim state?"

  "Yeah. They said I should be cleared if I take it easy until then."

  We fell into silence, and I thought he'd fallen asleep.

  "Vance?"

  "Yes?"

  "Can I stay with you for the summer?"

  "Of course."

  "You think your dad will be okay with it?" He glanced up, resting his chin on my shoulder.

  "I think he will be, yeah."

  "He's going to hate me, isn't he?" Harden said after another long silence. I knew who he meant.

  "He's an idiot if he does." I hugged him tighter. “Do you think you’ll make up with them?”

  “You’re the only family I need.”

  "You're not going to school." I stood over the edge of my bed where Harden lay. "Go back to sleep."

  "I have to go to school." Harden sat up, but I stood in front of him.

  "The doctor told you to take it easy."

  "You're going."

  "Yes, I have to. But you need to save your strength for state."

  "I'm not staying in bed for two weeks, Vance. I'm fine."

  "You just got out of the hospital yesterday."

  "With a clean bill of health!"

  I pinched the bridge of my nose. This stubborn bastard.

  "You don't really expect me to stay in your bed all day while you're not here."

  "It gives you time to go through everything in my room like you've been dying to."

  He narrowed his eyes. "Good point, but I'll be so bored after an hour of that." He tugged on my sleep pants. "Stay home with me today. I need someone to take care of me. I couldn't possibly do all those stairs alone." He pleaded with his eyes.

  "There is no way my dad is going to call me out."

  "Just ditch. You haven't missed any days this year. Be sick with me today."

  "No one is going to believe I'm sick. They'll know I'm staying home with you."

  "They won't be able to prove it."

  I sighed and sat down next to him. "You're going to make me take care of you all day, aren't you?"

  A coy smile curled over his lips. "Does that mean take care of my dick?"

  I looked at the ceiling and shook my head. "I didn't mean it that way...but if you're up for it."

  Twenty-Five

  "Was that the door?" Harden skimmed his fingers under my tee-shirt, drawing patterns over my skin.

  I opened one eye. "Huh?"

  "I think I heard the door." Harden tilted his head to the side.

  "Leave it. Probably the mailman."

  A hard knock sounded again.

  "That's twice. Might be important," Harden leaned down to brush his lips over my temple. "I'm hungry anyway. You can take care of your poor feeble boyfriend by making him lunch."

  I rolled my eyes and stretched, forcing myself out of the warmth of Harden's embrace as a third knock echoed through the house.

  "I'm coming," I yelled out.

  I took the stairs two at a time and pulled open the door not at all expecting who was standing behind it.

  "No." I pushed it shut, but the governor stuck his foot in it.

  "Hear me out."

  "I think we've heard enough from you for a lifetime."

  "Is Harden here?"

  I glanced at him.

  "I don't want to speak to you." Harden sat on the top step, not bothering to come down.

  "You heard him."

  "I think you'll both want to hear what I have to say."

  "Why should I even bother to listen? You didn't give Vance a chance last night," Harden spat.

  "It's an apology," the governor said.

  That caught me totally off guard. I looked to Harden for guidance.

  "Fine," Harden said.

  The governor tried to step around me, but I barred his way. "You can stand there and speak."

  "Is that necessary?" he asked.

  "Yes," Harden and I said in unison.

  "Fine." He glanced between me and Harden over my shoulder. "Will you come down here?"

  "I'm fine here. You can speak to Vance."

  The governor gave Harden a flat look and then glanced back at me. "Vance, I would like to apologize for my behavior last night. It was cruel. I was worried about my son, but it's no excuse."

  I nodded. I didn't want to tell him his behavior was okay nor that I forgave him. All he'd get for now was a nod.

  His gaze again flickered to Harden. I wanted to turn around and see how Harden reacted to all of it, but I held strong. He'd either forgive his father or he wouldn't. And I wouldn't keep them apart. I loved him too much to get in the way of anything that made him happy.

  "Is that all?" I asked when no one spoke.

  "I was hoping it would be the olive branch to be invited inside."

  I glanced at Harden. He shrugged, so I stepped out of the way, closing the door behind him. Harden got to his feet and gripped the rail, taking one stair at a time.

  We waited. He wasn't feeble. And if the sex we'd had today was any indication, he felt fine. Maybe he was gathering his thoughts. Or making the governor suffer.

  He stopped in the entryway and crossed his arms over his chest. "I'm not coming home. Don't ask."

  "I wouldn’t dream of it," the governor replied.

  "What do you want then?" Harden asked, and I was glad he'd taken over the conversation. I still wanted to rip his father apart and wasn't sure how long I'd be able to hold my tongue.

  "I wanted to discuss putting this all behind us."

  Harden scoffed.

  I scowled. How could the man be so calm about all of it? I hated him for it.

  "I didn't come empty-handed."

  Harden stared cold and quiet.

  "I've made some calls, and I found out Yale is expecting to offer and their swim coach is very interested in Vance after his sectional performance.”

  My hand went over my mouth. "How much will they give me?" I couldn’t not ask. I had to know.

  "Not enough."

  I pressed my eyes closed. "You don't know that."

  "I do know that," the governor said. "I had someone in my office estimate your financials. Your father makes too much money with overtime for you to qualify for all the aid you need, but of course not enough to even dream of paying for the tuition at Yale."

  "Fuck," Harden cursed coming up behind me to wrap me in a hug. "We'll figure it out with loans. Or I'll go where you do."

  The governor held up a finger. "I'm going to cover it."

  We both stared at him.

  "I'm not hiding our relationship for years and allowing you to hold the money over our heads." There was ice in Harden's tone.

  "I wouldn't dream of suggesting it. I’m not stupid enough after the last week to insult you by suggesting it."

  "Then what?"

  "I will put the entirety of the funds in an account in trust in his name. It won't be held over either of your heads. I won't have access to revoke it. If you two stay together or not, it's there. I've talked to my lawyers. I can do it without tax penalties for either of us as a scholarship of my own creation."

  I turned to Harden, not sure what to even say.

  "What's the catch?" Harden asked, the hitch in his voice telling me he wanted badly to believe his father.

  "There is no catch. No strings. No expectations even if you two decide not to speak to me again. I hope that won’t happen, though. I hope in time you'll both forgive me. I don't want our family estranged. I've made mistakes, thinking I can control everything and everyone with my career in mind.” The governor locked eyes with Harden, and it was the first time it seemed like he felt remorse. “I messed things up between us, and I want to make amends for it. I love you and want the best for you, Harden. You’re my son.”

  “Okay." I could tell it hurt Harden to not say it back, but he had to show the governor he couldn’t be pushed around. I was proud of him.

  "I'll
leave you two to discuss it.”

  I sank to a seat on the sofa as soon as the governor was out the door. "Do you think this is all to get on your good side again?"

  "I don't know, but does it matter?”

  I shook my head. "No. If he's telling the truth, why would it? We should take it.”

  Harden blew out a breath. “It’s hard. I want to believe he’s sorry.”

  “I hope he’s sorry. I know he loves you. He wouldn’t be doing this if he didn’t.” Or so I hoped.

  Harden pressed his face into my shoulder. “I’m so fucking mad at him, but this…”

  “It’s everything we want.”

  “Yes, it is.”

  "Will you feel guilty?" I asked. "I don't want to say yes if it's going to mess you up."

  "I don't think so.” He pulled back to look into my eyes, and his brows pulled. “Will you be mad at me if I speak to him?”

  “No. You should forgive him. I’m mad, so mad, but I know you care about him and he's important to you. I might have to hold a grudge for a couple of weeks, but that doesn’t mean he’s not your father, and if he’s trying to fix it, you should let him.”

  Relief washed over Harden’s face as he pulled me into his arms. "We're going to Yale together."

  "We are.” I grinned as his lips met mine.

  Epilogue

  “I’ll be gone for the weekend.”

  I looked up from the economics text I was trying to decipher when Harden walked into the room.

  “Presidential trail?” I asked.

  “They think I’ll play well in Florida.” He strolled over, pressed one hand to the arm of my chair, leaning over and touched his lips to mine. He started to pull back, but I grabbed him by the shirt, making him fall on top of me.

  “Oops.”

  He laughed. “Come with me?”

  I shook my head. “I have so much to catch up on.”

  “But I’ll miss you.” His knees slid down around my hips.

  “We live together. We spend every night and most weekends together.”

  “And?” Harden asked.

  “I love it.”

  “Good answer!” Harden took another demanding kiss. “I don’t blame you for wanting to have a quiet weekend. I’m exhausted from all the traveling.”