Wilde Freak (Rock Stars on Tour, #4)

by Candy J. Starr

  When I left that night, I wanted to kiss her goodbye. Not a chaste kiss, either.

  “You don’t have to,” she said. “It must put you off, seeing my face like this.”

  I cupped her face in my hand and looked into her eyes. “Not one little bit,” I told her. “So long as it doesn’t hurt you, I think kissing is okay. The doctor didn’t say not to do it.”

  I drew closer to her, trying to position myself so I wouldn’t press too heavily against her body. Our lips met, and none of the passion between us had diminished at all. She put her arm around my neck. As our kiss deepened, I tried my hardest to stay in control. I didn’t want to hurt her, but God, how I needed her.

  Then she pulled back and winced.

  “Damn. I’m sorry,” I said. I pulled back.

  “I’m fine. Really.”

  But she lied. I knew it. I couldn’t let things go any further. Damn, this was going to be a long few weeks.

  Chapter 14: Fiona

  I SAT STARING INTO space for a long time after Matty left. I hadn’t expected him to kiss me. Not with this ugly face. Sex was one thing, kissing a whole other one.

  When the nurse came in, I asked her to open the curtains so I could see the city lights. Night views always seemed much prettier to me than daytime. Cities all lit up and sparkling.

  “Anything else I can get for you?” the nurse asked.

  “Nothing I can think of.”

  “You really should think about getting a hobby. You’re in for a long stay, and it’s going to get incredibly boring. What do you like doing? Reading?”

  I moved around to look at her, but that movement twinged through me. The nurse came over to my bedside and adjusted my pillows.

  “Sorry,” she said. “I shouldn’t have gone out of your range of vision when I was talking to you. You shouldn’t have to move like that.”

  The nurses on this floor seemed much nicer than the ones upstairs.

  “I’ve never read much,” I told her. “Only fashion magazines, and they aren’t very appealing at the moment.”

  “Why not?” the nurse asked.

  “Look at me. Do I look like a fashion magazine person at the moment?”

  The nurse shrugged. “Look at me. Do I look like a fashion magazine kind of person? But I like reading them. You don’t have that much to worry about, not with that figure. Sure, you’ll have a bit of scarring, but trust me, I’ve worked on the burns ward, and the scars you’ll have are nothing compared to that.”

  I looked at her, not as a nurse but as a woman. She did have a chunky figure, but she wasn’t bad-looking. She definitely needed some mascara for those fair eyelashes and a better hairstyle, but I guessed when you had a hard day of nursing ahead of you, you didn’t fuss around with those things.

  “I could give you a makeover sometime,” I said. “Maybe when you’re off duty.”

  Her face lit up. “You’re kidding,” she said. “I have a date on Friday night. Could you do it when I finish work, then?” Then she looked at me. “Sorry if I’m being selfish. I know you’re still not in the best condition. I got a bit carried away.”

  I shook my head. “Of course I’ll do it. I can’t guarantee the results at the moment, since my left hand’s pretty useless, but I could talk you through it. I’ll get Matty to bring in my makeup.”

  “You’re sure it’s okay?” she said.

  I looked at her. “Nurse Lucy, you said I needed a hobby. Well, this is my hobby, I guess. I’ve sure got no interest in sitting around doing needlework or collecting stamps or anything like that, but I’ve always like playing with makeup, and since I don’t have the face for it, I can use yours.”

  Lucy grinned. “You can use mine all you like, but I should go check on my other patients now.”

  The next day, I asked Matty about it when he came in.

  “I have to go back to the hotel at lunchtime, when Mom and Dad arrive, so I’ll grab it then,” he said.

  I’d forgotten his parents were arriving. Even though I looked forward to seeing them, I was a bit nervous too. They were such lovely people that I’d feel like I had to be on my best behavior around them.

  The other thing was that I wasn’t sure I wanted to see other people at the moment, not looking like this. I’d only been around the medical staff and Matty. To the medical staff, I was just another patient. My face meant nothing to them. But to people I’d known before, they’d have to get a shock seeing me. And that would only get worse once these bandages came off.

  At least the tour had moved on. That meant I had no one to visit me but Matt. I hadn’t had to deal with seeing pity in anyone’s eyes.

  “Maybe we should wait a while before your parents come in to see me,” I said. “I’m not sure I’m ready for visitors yet.”

  Matty looked a little disappointed, but he nodded.

  All too soon, it was time for him to leave.

  While he was gone, I slept. Then the physio came in to do some exercises with me.

  “When can I get out of bed and move around?” I asked. “My legs are fine, right? So I can walk.”

  “Not yet. We can work up to that. You don’t just use your legs when you’re walking. All your other muscles come into play too. Don’t be too impatient. We do need to get you moving your legs, though.”

  I’d wanted to use my legs yesterday, but the doctor had forbidden that kind of exercise.

  He did some exercises with me and told me to do them a few times a day.

  Matty came back in that night.

  “How are your parents?” I asked. “Are they settled in okay?”

  “They sure are. We had lunch together, and then they went out sightseeing. Not to mention, Mom bought a ton of food with her. You’d think they didn’t have food in Paris.”

  He laughed.

  We sat together, not really talking, for a long time. We didn’t need to talk. He held my hand but wouldn’t move any closer. He acted like I was some kind of fragile doll. Even with the pain, I hated being treated like that.

  I’d thought I could be with Matty for a short while, then let him go, but I wasn’t sure if that was possible. How could I make a break from him like that? I’d never loved anyone like I’d loved him. Sure, for a long time, I’d thought Ash was the one for me, but that had been a schoolgirl crush. I couldn’t imagine Ash sitting by my bedside like this. He’d be off flirting with the nurses until I got so mad, I’d be back in on the operating table.

  In my life, I’d known a lot of men. You don’t get on in the modeling world without meeting more than your fair share of sleazebags. Even the better guys I’d met were still jerks, just to a lesser degree. And for years, I’d had Matty beside me, taking him for granted. I’d wanted to make that up to him. When we got together, I’d planned to make him happy for the rest of his life, but how could I do that now?

  Chapter 15: Matty

  MY PARENTS HAD ALREADY checked in when I got to the hotel, so I went straight to their room. Mom opened the door and swept me into the tightest hug ever. I had never known she was that strong.

  Then she let go abruptly. “Sorry. I forgot you were still recovering. Did I hurt you?”

  “Nope, I’m fine. I wasn’t hurt that bad. Where’s Dad?”

  “He popped out to get some things. Fancy a cup of tea? He’s bringing back milk.”

  I didn’t really feel like tea, but I knew it’d give Mom something to do. Even though they’d just arrived at the hotel, something about their room felt like home.

  I sat in the chair by the window. I’d booked them a suite, since it’d be the two of them and they’d be here for a while. I could deal with a small room, but they needed something better.

  Mom put the kettle on, then gave me a searching look. “Are you looking after yourself?” she asked.

  I nodded.

  “You’re lying, Matty. I can tell by looking at you that you aren’t. I asked at reception, and they’re bringing a microwave up to the room. It won’t be much, but at least I’
ll be able to make some decent food for you to eat. You can’t live on hospital food alone.”

  It was then I noticed all the food she’d bought with her. “How did you get that into the country?” I asked.

  “Oh, no one asked me anything, so I just breezed on through. I’ve got a few jars of my homemade jam for you to take back to your room.”

  I nodded. I wasn’t sure when the last time I ate jam was but it was easier just to take it. “You know they have food in France, right?”

  Mom nodded. “They do, but it’s fancy French food, not home food. You can’t live on frogs’ legs, either.”

  I laughed and didn’t bother to explain that they ate other things here, too. Even though she bustled around, the tension drained from my body being around her. I’d been blessed, having such a close family.

  Dad came back in with a bag of groceries. “Ah, Matt, you’re here,” he said.

  Mom took the groceries from him, and he sat down with some guidebooks, asking me questions about sightseeing routes. I didn’t know much more than he did, but I answered his questions as best I could.

  After Mom finished making the drinks and sat down, she turned to me. “How is Fiona? Is it bad?”

  I hadn’t wanted to talk too much about Fiona, but they’d want to know.

  “She’s recovering well, but she hides a lot,” I told her. “But I’m lucky just to have her with me still. It was scary there for a while.”

  I stirred some sugar into my tea, not sure how much to tell them.

  “It must be so difficult for her. Can we go in with you later?”

  “She doesn’t want any visitors for a while. She’s very self-conscious about her looks.”

  Mom nodded. “Maybe in a few days’ time.”

  “Maybe.”

  We had lunch, then I headed back to the hotel. Mom and Dad wanted to get straight into their sightseeing.

  “Aren’t you jetlagged?” I asked them.

  “No, full of beans,” Mom said.

  I took Fiona’s things back to the hospital, happy that she was taking an interest in the people around her.

  “I think this is everything,” I said, setting a large cosmetic case on the table.

  Fiona nodded.

  I sat by her bed. I wanted to get closer to her. Every day was becoming a struggle with my self-control. I knew it was for Fiona, too. Even kissing her yesterday had been more than I could handle. I should’ve been able to hold myself back, but when my lips touched hers, I hadn’t been able to stop myself. When I got back to the hotel, I’d needed a cold shower.

  I hadn’t realized until then that she would think I wouldn’t want to kiss her. I wanted to kiss her a million times, and I would as soon as she felt better. Instead, I just held her hand tighter.

  Even if sex was off the agenda, I needed to think of ways to let her know I still desired her. I wasn’t sure how, but that was the most important thing right now.

  “Do you want to take a trip when we get out of hospital?” I asked her, hoping that making plans for the future would cheer her up.

  “Where?” she asked. “I’m not sure there are many places I want to go. A tropical resort is out of the question, and anywhere bustling with people.”

  “We could go to the countryside. Just you and me, and nothing but birds and wildlife around us. It’d be peaceful.”

  She nodded. “That might be nice.”

  The main thing I wanted her to understand was that we did have a future. Nothing had changed.

  She hadn’t mentioned anything about me returning to the tour for a while, and I hoped that meant she’d grown accustomed to the idea.

  I wasn’t sure if I should kiss her before I left. I wanted to, but if I kissed her, I wasn’t sure I’d ever stop.

  It only took one look at Fiona’s face for me to know I could never leave here without kissing her.

  Chapter 16: Fiona

  I WANTED MATTY TO KISS me goodbye, but I wasn’t sure if he would. Those physical touches meant so much to me, but I understood why he wanted to hold off. When he stood up to leave, I moved over to make room for him beside me on the bed. He gave me a questioning look but sat down facing me.

  “We have to be careful,” he whispered.

  I nodded, but I had much more in mind than being careful. I wanted to do something nice for Matty. I wanted to give him some pleasure to repay him for all the time he spent with me, and I wanted to give myself the joy of watching him. There wasn’t much I could do in this state, but I’d been thinking about it, and I wasn’t completely useless.

  He moved closer, and I put my hand on his leg. At least I still had one good arm. I put my other arm over his shoulder, reveling in the smell of his body and the warmth of him. As much as he said we had to take care, I couldn’t resist him.

  I moved a little closer to him. So far, nothing hurt.

  As his lips met mine, I moved my hand up his thigh. He tried to push it away, but I held it there. I wanted to touch him. I wanted to know that I could still arouse him.

  “No, Fiona,” he whispered.

  “Let me,” I replied.

  No matter what his words said, that gleam of passion in his eyes told me that he didn’t want me to stop.

  I moved my hand higher until I felt his cock through the fabric of his pants. It didn’t take me long to get him hard. My entire body tingled at the feeling of his hard cock. I kept moving my hand against him.

  “We shouldn’t,” he said. “What if the doctor comes in again?”

  “He won’t. Not at this time of night.”

  I knew the routine by now. No one would disturb us, not until the nurse came around in an hour or so. We had the curtain drawn around the bed and the door closed.

  I moved my hand to undo his fly. It took some effort, doing it one-handed, but I managed.

  Matt sucked in his breath. That sound did amazing things to my body. Just knowing I wasn’t useless made me happy.

  I slipped my hand inside his fly, my fingers connecting with the hardness of his shaft. Matt couldn’t stay still. He shuffled down, lowering his pants to give me easier access.

  His lips caressed mine as I moved my hand lightly down the length of his cock. I tickled my fingers over his balls, then gripped him harder.

  Something clanged in the hallway and he jolted, but I didn’t weaken my grip on him.

  “It’s okay,” I whispered.

  I kept moving my hand, pumping him, watching the pleasure on his face. He leaned back, consumed with the moment. As the precum leaked from his tip, I used my thumb to rub him.

  He made little noises of pleasure. I ached to do more than this, to have him touch me while I touched him. To mount his hard cock and ride him.

  As I moved my hand faster, twinges of pain went down my side from the movement. I couldn’t stop. Matty deserved this pleasure. It was the one small thing I could do for him. I ignored the pain.

  I moved faster, wanting to bring him to climax.

  Those happy grunts got louder. He was beyond caring if anyone heard us. He moved his hips in time with my hand. I knew he was about to blow. I could see it on his face and in the tension of his body.

  I stroked him faster, my breathing matching his.

  Finally, he gave a loud grunt, then leaned forward to grab some tissues off the table beside me.

  Without even doing up his pants, he slumped on the pillow beside me.

  “My God, Fi. I was not expecting that.”

  I grinned. For a moment there, things had been normal between us. I’d been more than just some freak with scars all over my face. I wanted to hold on to that feeling forever.

  Then I hugged my belly, rubbing my side a little. The pain continued even now I rested.

  Matty did up his pants and then rang the buzzer for the nurse.

  Any feeling of normality completely disappeared.

  Chapter 17: Matty

  I HAD BREAKFAST WITH Mom and Dad before leaving for the hospital.

  “How
was Fiona last night?” Mom asked.

  “Good,” I said but ducked my head, hoping she wouldn’t read the expression on my face.

  I could hardly tell my mother that Fiona had given me a hand job in her hospital bed. The illicitness of that had made it all the hotter. Even thinking about it now made my cock twitch. I’d have been happy to hold off on any of the sex stuff until Fiona recovered, but if she wanted to fool around, that was totally fine with me. I’d follow her lead and hope she didn’t try to do more than she should.

  “I’ve made you some lunch to take to the hospital,” Mom said.

  I looked at the containers she had. A packed lunch? I didn’t need her to do that for me, but I was sure it would be a heap better than anything I could buy at the hospital.

  I was already running late to see Fiona when I got a call from Ash. He probably wanted an update.

  “Matt, do you have a minute?” he asked. “We need to talk.”

  This sounded serious. I told him to hold off for a moment and went back to my own room.

  “I know this is the worst possible timing for you,” he said.

  I really didn’t like the sound of that, and I knew Ash wouldn’t call right now unless it was something big.

  “We’ve got a problem,” he said. “Remember that song we ‘wrote’? That stupid ‘Candy-Colored Kitten’ song?”

  Sure, I remembered it. Our management had wanted Ash and me to write a song for our boy band, StarX, but the two of us had no experience with songwriting. We were about sixteen years old and didn’t have even the slightest idea where to start. After about a thousand attempts, they’d given up on us. Instead of actually teaching us what to do, they brought in a professional songwriter to write it, then slapped our names on it.

  Even though I’d tried to forget it, I’d be in a cab or a shop somewhere, and that song would hit me like a slap in the face.

  “Yep,” I responded, wondering what the hell would be so serious about “Candy-Colored Kitten”.