IT WAS ALWAYS YOU

by Erika Kelly

  “We’ve got a difficult kid this session. The guys say he’s a phenom. Really strong, great instincts. He’s done some good work during the drills, but the rest of the time, he rebels. He’s snuck out of the dorm in the middle of the night, broken into the kitchen, and watched porn in Amie’s office.”

  “Sounds like he needs some guidance. Maybe you could give him actual leadership roles. Turn it in a positive direction.”

  Color seeped into his cheeks. “That would’ve been a great idea.”

  She sensed his tension. “Except?”

  “Except he’s said some pretty scary things about women. At lunch the other day, Amie was setting a pitcher down on the table, and he talked about her knockers, about wanting to do her ‘doggie-style.’”

  She stiffened, the shock of it traveling through her. “Oh, my God. How old is he?”

  “Fourteen.”

  “Do you know anything about his family?”

  “See, the thing is, we have to choose the kids carefully. In order for everyone to get the most out of the program, we need kids who can meet the physical requirements, who have good grades, and who don’t have a record of disciplinary problems. We’re going into tough neighborhoods, the ones where kids don’t have many opportunities, and so we meet the families before we offer scholarships.”

  “What were his parents like?”

  “We met his aunt. She seemed genuinely invested in him. We didn’t see any red flags, but now we’re kicking ourselves for not digging deeper into the parents. The fact that they didn’t come to the meeting, I guess that was a red flag.”

  “Maybe the aunt’s raising him?”

  “No, his parents are listed on the form.” He tugged on the hem of her shorts. “In any event, I’ve notified his aunt and bought him a plane ticket.”

  “You don’t seem sure you made the right choice.”

  “I’m not. Especially since you just gave me a great suggestion. Something I didn’t even think of, since I was too busy lecturing him. What kid gets anything out of a damn lecture?”

  “But we’re talking about a boy who has no respect. Not to women, your program, or authority.”

  “That’s exactly right.”

  “I mean, even if he’s mimicking what he hears at home, he still can’t talk about women or behave that way.”

  “No, he can’t. But if I send him home…”

  “He’s going home in a week anyhow.”

  “Yeah. I know.” But he didn’t look comfortable with his decision.

  She pulled back. “You want to go see him? Try to get through to him one more time?”

  He seemed completely relieved to hear that suggestion. “Yeah. I do.”

  She crawled off his lap. “Then, let’s do it.” She held out her hand.

  He took it and got up. “I don’t know if it’ll do any good, but I’d like him to hear what a woman thinks of the things he says.” He paused. “You’ll come with me?”

  “I’m here, Cassian. I’m staying. So, yes, I’ll go anywhere with you.”

  * * *

  They stood in front of the door, the hotel hallway quiet and smelling of microwave popcorn. Gigi squeezed his hand. “You ready?”

  Giving a curt nod, he seemed more determined than worried. Since he’d already informed his security guard they were coming, it only took a light tap for the door to swing open.

  The very large man stepped back, letting them in. Gigi took in the nice, clean room. One bed was tightly made, while the other looked like a suitcase had exploded on it. The covers were kicked back, and a tall, skinny boy with surfer blonde hair sweeping across his forehead leaned against the headboard. Ear pods attached to his phone, Walker Lovett moved his head to the beat and typed rapidly.

  Cassian strode right to the bed and yanked the cords out of his ears.

  “Hey.” The kid tried to look pissed, but she could tell he was both relieved and a little scared to see the big, famous quarterback. “What do you want?” His gaze slid over to Gigi, and she could see the curiosity, but he turned his attention back to Cassian.

  “I’m here to talk to you.”

  “Cool. Too bad I’m not interested.”

  Cassian stood there, uncharacteristically uncomfortable. He had a way of putting everyone at ease, of drawing shy people into the action and making them feel part of the group. Everybody loved him.

  Except this belligerent teenager.

  Okay, well. “Hi, I’m Gigi.” She crossed the room and sat on the other bed, facing him.

  “Yeah, so?”

  “So, you had a pretty special opportunity here and you blew it.”

  The kid looked like he’d walked into a sliding glass door. He hadn’t seen that coming.

  She gestured to Cassian. “You were chosen out of, seriously, thousands of athletes, so why’d you apply if you don’t want to be here?”

  “I want to be here. He’s just a dick.”

  “Oh. Well, there’s always two sides to a story. I’ve only heard Cassian’s. What’d he do?”

  “He kicked me out for nothing. I didn’t do anything.”

  Fortunately, she’d gotten a detailed list from Cassian on the car ride over. “You didn’t break into the kitchen?”

  He rolled his eyes. “It’s camp. That’s what you do.”

  “You didn’t watch porn on the camp director’s computer?”

  His cheeks flushed deep red. “It wasn’t that big a deal.”

  “Breaking and entering is against the law, so yeah, it’s a big deal.” She switched over to his bed, nudging his legs. “You’re not really convincing me here. It sounds like you did do some things, you just don’t think you should be kicked out because of them.”

  “This is a stupid conversation.”

  “I guess it’s only stupid if you want to go home. If you want to stay, then the conversation’s important, right?”

  He watched her for a moment, his gaze sliding over to Cassian.

  “You want to go home?” Cassian asked.

  “Who cares what I want? You already bought my ticket.”

  “Okay, this is a stupid conversation,” Gigi said. “Let’s get back to the important stuff. Why you’re being sent home. The issue is that Cassian can’t trust you. He’s responsible for forty kids, and to keep them safe he’s got rules. If everyone were allowed to wander the campus whenever they felt like it, some would get lost, some would drown in the lake, and some would get gored by bison.”

  Walker looked at her like, Are you serious right now?

  “So, to protect you and the staff, he has rules. You broke them. On top of that, you’re insanely disrespectful. I mean, come on. Cassian flew you out here, gave you room and board and access to people at the top of their profession, and instead of being grateful, you tell him to stop talking?”

  The boy kept his mouth shut. Good.

  “Worse, you said some pretty offensive things about the director and the yoga instructor.”

  “Amie put her tits in my face. She was asking for it.”

  A chill shot through her. Now she understood why Cassian had jumped so quickly to his decision to send the boy home. “Asking for what, exactly?”

  Was he just recycling words he heard at home? Or had they become part of his fabric?

  “She put her tits in my face.” The kid sounded far less sure of himself.

  “Unfortunately, I heard you the first time. Did she look you in the eyes and say, I’m the director of this camp, here to serve all your personal needs? Please feel free to objectify me?” She didn’t even wait for a response. “Because I don’t care if she stripped naked and pranced around the dining hall. You keep your hands and your comments to yourself unless a woman invites you into her space.”

  She was shaking, her whole body in fight mode. She had to calm down so she could better understand the boy. “Let me ask you something. If you’d brought a pitcher of water to a table and reached between two guys to set it down, and one of them said they’d like to be
nd you over the table and have his way with you—right there, in front of everyone—how would you feel?”

  “I’d knock him on his ass.”

  Now that she was paying attention, she noticed a lack of conviction in his tone. Almost like he was spitting out lines he’d memorized from a movie. “I didn’t ask what you’d do. I asked how you’d feel.”

  He didn’t answer, but she gave him a moment, because he had that focused but unseeing look in his eyes, like he was imagining the scenario.

  And it clearly made him uneasy. She could be wrong, but she thought he was getting it.

  “Are you kicking me out or not? If you want me—”

  She cut him off. “This conversation isn’t moving forward until you answer my question. How would you feel?”

  He scratched his neck. Sat up a little straighter.

  If there was any chance for him to stay, he needed to break. To show that he was more than a product of his home environment. He had to show that he was receptive to being a better human being. Otherwise—

  “I wouldn’t like it.”

  Oh, thank God. “Amie didn’t either. She didn’t deliver pitchers of water because she was looking for tips. She did it to check in on the campers, make sure they’re doing all right. You know, keeping hydrated, eating good food, stuff like that. And then you talked about her like that, and it degraded her. Don’t ever do it again. Not to her, not to anyone.”

  “You want to stay at camp or not?” Cassian asked.

  She wanted to tell him to slow down, but then again, she’d said all she needed to say. This isn’t a therapy session and hammering him too hard will only make shut him down.

  “Who cares what I want?” the kid said.

  Everything flipped for her in that moment. Her anger melted into heartache. Because that was it right there. He felt powerless. Sure, most kids did, but Cassian’s security team had done a deep-dive into Walker’s family and discovered mug shots for both his parents. They’d been in and out of jail for most of his life for using and selling drugs, which explained why his aunt had shown up for the interview.

  “You already bought my ticket home.” The challenge burned in his eyes. Mostly, it said, Didn’t you?

  “I know you’re smart. Andre can’t believe how quickly you size up the field and put the ball in the receiver’s hands.” She’d never talked to Andre, but she had no doubt he would say that. The running back had called Walker a phenom, after all. “So, when Cassian Ellis offers you one last chance to train with the Mavericks, you say, Thank you, sir. You say, I’m sorry for being so difficult, and it won’t happen again because I want to be here. You say, I’ll do whatever it takes to earn your respect.”

  When the kid didn’t say anything, she threw out one last line. “I’ll tell you something. I could be wrong, but I think all this attitude and rebellion is just a front. I think you’re playing a part. If I’m wrong about that, then go home, because we have zero tolerance for disrespect, but if I’m right…then drop the attitude right now and show us who you really are.”

  He looked at the blanket, totally out of his element. But he remained silent, and she didn’t know if he had it in him to break free of the mold he’d been set in.

  And that would be such a shame. Because not only did he have skills on the turf, but he had leadership potential. If he used his power for good.

  When it looked like he couldn’t do it, Gigi got up and gave him a sad smile. “Okay, well. Safe travels, Walker.” She reached for Cassian’s hand, ready to head toward the door.

  “I want to stay.”

  Cassian lowered his head and let out a huff of breath. He faced the boy. “Look me in the eyes and tell me you understand that women are not objects, and that you’re not going to touch them or speak about them as if they are.”

  The boy looked painfully uncomfortable, scared even. But he found the strength to say, “I understand.” His voice sounded soft and almost pleading.

  “Good.” Cassian’s shoulders pushed back as if a weight had been lifted. “And, if you want to lead so badly, you’ll do it on the field. Only.”

  Walker nodded, his eyebrows hitching in surprise.

  Cassian held out his hand, and the boy looked at it for a few moments like, You want to shake my hand? And then he grasped it and they shook.

  “You can come back now, or you can show up at breakfast,” Cassian said. “Bill will drop your luggage in your room while everyone’s eating.”

  “I’m not going back to that dump until I have to.” The kid cracked a grin and nestled down into his stack of pillows. “I’m staying here. Might even order room service.”

  With his hand grasped firmly in hers, Cassian towed her out the door of the hotel. The cool air settled on his skin.

  “Would you slow down?” She tried to wrench her hand free from his grip. “What is your rush?”

  “My rush?” He gripped her wrist and yanked her right up against his chest. “Did you see yourself in there? I was crazy for you as a kid, but now? I’m out of my mind for you. You’re fucking amazing, Gigi, and I want you. I want you right the fuck now.” He hadn’t even realized he was choking around the kid. It was only when Gigi took over that he could see how uncomfortable Walker made him. The way Gigi had handled it…Damn. She just blew him away.

  “Okay.” She sighed, reaching up and pressing her palms to his chest. “That’s a valid reason.”

  He laughed. “Gigi, I’m telling you, if you don’t get your ass in my truck, you’re going to be naked in the parking lot of the Roadside Inn.”

  She pushed away from him. “I’m going. But I’m wearing cowboy boots, not roller skates. Slow down.”

  “Can’t.” He bent his knees and lifted her into his arms. All that silky hair swished over his skin, and he breathed in her sweet, sexy scent.

  “Cassian.” She wrapped her arms around his neck, leaning in to nuzzle his neck. “You’re crazy.” She bit his earlobe. “Crazy hot.”

  Digging his keys out of his pocket, he hit the keypad to unlock his truck. Didn’t even set her down, just opened the passenger side and dumped her onto the seat.

  She quickly righted herself from the sprawl. “Are you serious right now?”

  “As a heart attack.” He swung around to his side, buckled in, and tore out of the parking lot. He was so fucking hard it hurt.

  As he turned onto the highway, he reached for her hand and kissed the back of it. “Thank you.” He had too much emotion bottled up to express any of it. If he even tried, he’d be tumbling her into the backseat and tearing off her panties.

  “I’m glad you went back to see him.” Her voice in the dark cab soothed like a down blanket and a crackling fire.

  He set her hand on his thigh, wanting more of her, all of her. His heart pounded, his blood raced, and it was all he could do to keep focused on the road.

  “Maybe in your next staff meeting, you can ask everyone to look for opportunities to give Walker a leadership role—”

  “I can’t talk about Walker. Not when my truck smells like you. When all I can think about is your mouth. I want it, Gigi. I want your legs wrapped around me, and your hands all over me. I need you.”

  Her thighs squeezed together. “You can have it. My mouth. You can have it anywhere you want it.”

  Chapter Fourteen

  He pulled off the road and drove into the sage-covered meadow.

  “What are you doing?”

  Jerking the gearshift into Park, he killed the engine. “You want to know why I’m the Bad Boy Quarterback?”

  She sat quietly, expectantly.

  “Because there’s nobody else for me but you. And, when I lost you, I knew in my gut I’d lost a part of me. The part that gave me my place in the world, the part that made me happy.” He shrugged. “It means that, other than football—what I do, who I spend time with…nothing matters.” He reached for her hair, twirling a lock around his finger. “What I’m saying is, there’s no going slow for me. No seeing how thin
gs work out. I’m all-in. There’s us, there’s now, and for me, that’s forever. So, I’ll do whatever you want, but just know—”

  Unbuckling her seatbelt, she lunged for him, her hands framing his face, her mouth covering his.

  Yes. Oh, hell, yes.

  She flung her arms around his neck, her tongue licking inside and teasing his into play. Lust surged high and hard, and he wanted all of her at once.

  Naked, open, mine.

  He didn’t understand how one person could make him feel so much. He met thousands of people every year, had good friends and close family, but no one set his soul on fire the way she did.

  Her kiss turned hungry, and she grabbed fistfuls of his hair. Those moans…they spilled into the dry and barren holes that dimpled the landscape of his heart. He absorbed them, drank in her desire, her urgency, until the absolute relief of having her in his arms—his life—filled him to the brim.

  And then…Jesus, and then the need grew too powerful. He tore his mouth off hers. “Get in back.” He pressed the heel of his palm on his raging erection.

  Watching him touch himself, Gigi’s eyes flared, and after a moment’s hesitation, she scrambled over the console and crashed onto the back seat. Even as he climbed over—and he was too damn big to have sex in a truck but like hell would he wait to get home—she was pulling those jean shorts down.

  With a mischievous grin, she stuck her finger in a belt loop and swung them around. “Well, look at that. No panties, just like you asked.”

  Fuck, she was cute. And fun. And sexy. And every damn thing he could ever want.

  Landing on the seat, half on top of her, he yanked the top of his jeans, popping the buttons open. He got them down to his ankles, when he remembered his damn boots.

  Laughing, Gigi reached over him for the ties. Her hair tickled his bare skin, and her breath warmed his cheek. Her scent was like a direct hit to his pleasure center.

  He couldn’t take it anymore. “Get over here.” Gripping under her arms, he pulled her on top of him.