Fern's Fancies

by Lillie Ammann

CHAPTER TEN

  Fern was too flabbergasted to think of anything to say. What would she say-that she wasn't Pen's employer? If she said that, he'd never get the apartment, and it was obvious he wanted it. However, she didn't have any idea of Pen's pay.

  When they arrived at the leasing office, the manager handed Pen two forms. "I need to check the answering machine and return a few calls. You can sit at the table in the clubroom to fill these out. Just bring them back to me in that office," she pointed, "when you've finished."

  They stepped into the clubroom. Fern said, "How am I supposed to fill out a form about your employment? I'm not exactly privy to confidential personnel information about my boss."

  "I'll tell you everything you need to know." Pen sat at the table and motioned for her to sit beside him.

  "Pen, I'm not your employer."

  "Nobody said you were. I told her if she called the office, she'd talk to you. That's true, isn't it? You certainly shouldn't let anyone else in the office handle calls about personnel matters." Pen filled out the application as he spoke.

  "Of course, I'd take the call, but I'd just refer her to the corporate office." Fern ignored the empty chair and stood over Pen and glared.

  "That's a waste of time and effort. We can take care of everything right now." Again he motioned for her to sit, and this time she complied.

  Shrugging her shoulders in resignation, she filled in the blanks on the employment verification form with the information Pen provided. When he told her his salary, she stood up and threw the pen on the table. "You make that much? Boy, that puts me in my place, doesn't it? I know there has to be a salary gap between a regional manager and a branch manager, but that's no gap. That's the Grand Canyon."

  Pen stood, walked over to her, placed his hands on her shoulders, and squeezed. "You'll know about the change next week. I didn't mean to tell you like this. Don't you dare let anybody from corporate know I told you before you got the official announcement."

  "You haven't told me anything, so I can hardly let anybody know." She moved to step away from him, but his hands on her shoulders held her where she was.

  "Fern, on the first of the month you'll receive a substantial raise to put your salary in line with other branch managers. The pay scale for your entire company is too low. Every single person in your company will get a raise." He squeezed her shoulders again. "Now can we get back to this paperwork so we can go to dinner? I'll answer all your questions then."

  He knew she didn't like the delay, but he hoped she would realize this wasn't an appropriate conversation to have when the apartment manager was just down the hall waiting for the paperwork. He breathed a silent sigh of relief when she sat and meekly filled out the rest of the information regarding his dates of employment and job duties. Then she signed her name and handed the form back to Pen.

  He took her hand and pulled her from the chair. He continued to hold her hand while they walked to the manager's office. He was disappointed, but not surprised, that she pulled her hand away when they reached the office. Holding her hand felt so natural, just as spinning her around in excitement in his apartment had.

  He didn't even want to think about that brief, almost-kiss. What had started out as just another demonstration of his excitement over the apartment could easily have turned into something much different if he had allowed it. This woman was going to drive him crazy. He couldn't figure what it was about her that made his response to her so different from his reactions to other women.

  The manager read the rental application and the employment verification form. "I see you've only been here a week. Do you intend to be here for the full term of this lease, which is one year?"

  "I'm in San Antonio permanently to set up the new regional office for our company. I'll definitely be here for the full year."

  The manager dithered for a few minutes. "I've never approved an application as soon as it was filled out like this. I guess-"

  "One of the signs of a good manager is to be able to make quick decisions. I'm glad to see you have that ability," Pen said.

  With that, the manager smiled and said, "I just need a check for the deposit and first month's rent, and I'll give you a key."

  There was another hesitation when he produced a check written on a Chicago bank, but finally Pen had the key. The manager escorted them to the door with the words, "You can move in anytime."

  "I'll be here tomorrow."

  Why did those words produce a foreboding in Fern's mind? Wonder what I'll be doing tomorrow, she thought.

  "Where do you want to have dinner?" Pen asked as he guided her to the car.

  "It's late, and I'm tired. I don't really feel like going to dinner now."

  "Fern, Fern, Fern." He shook his head and leaned against the car. "You have to eat dinner. But we can just stop for a sandwich or a burger if you like, and I'll treat you to a real dinner tomorrow after we move."

  "After we move?" She was tempted to get in the car and drive off without him, but he was blocking the driver's door. "I've lived in the same place for over two years, and I have no intention of moving anywhere."

  Pen laughed-that throaty laugh that melted her insides. "You know what I mean." He stopped laughing but continued to smile his killer smile.

  "Yeah, I know what you mean. Forget it's Sunday and I'm supposed to be on my own time. The boss says "jump,"and Fern jumps." She tried to bite back the words, but the words were already out and all she bit was her lip-again.

  Suddenly serious, Pen asked, "Do you really think that's the way it is? Have I been such an ogre?"

  "Well-"

  "Look, this parking lot is not the place to be having this discussion. Will you please drive us somewhere we can sit and talk?" He sounded almost pleading. "We can go to your place if you don't want to be seen in public with me. I'd invite you to my hotel room, but you'd get the wrong idea."

  Sure-take him to her place. Kevin would probably see Pen and be hurt even more than he already had been. That was out. She'd probably get the wrong idea going to his hotel room but not because she expected him to seduce her. She'd be the one tempted to do the seducing, even though she'd never done such a thing in her entire life.

  "I guess I am hungry. There's a quiet coffee shop down the street. It's not fancy, but we can talk."

  He walked around the car to the passenger's side. "Okay, let's go."

  On the drive to the coffee shop, Pen wondered why he cared what she thought of him. She was an employee-maybe the best branch manager in the company, but still an expendable employee. He could understand his physical attraction to her, although he'd never had such a strong reaction to a woman before. She was a gorgeous, appealing woman-any man would find her attractive.

  But why this concern about her thoughts and feelings? As difficult as it was to admit, even to himself, he had been hurt when she made the comment about the boss saying "jump."

  Fern brought the car to a stop. "We're here. I told you it wasn't fancy."

  "It's fine," he said as he stepped out of the car.

  There was no more conversation until they had been seated and given their orders to the bubbly waitress.

  "I'm sorr-," Fern began.

  "Am I-," Pen said at the same time. He smiled, and continued, "Ladies first."

  "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to be disrespectful." The words left a bitter taste in her mouth, but she knew they had to be said.

  "Forget that, Fern. Be honest with me now. Do you really see me as such a selfish dictator?" He leaned forward across the table.

  "You're my boss. I have no right-"

  "Forget that." Several other people in the restaurant looked up at his raised voice. "Right now we're just two people having dinner. At this moment Ultimate Plant Service doesn't exist. All that exists is you and I."

  "How can I forget that you're my boss?" she asked, her jaw thrust stubbornly forward.

  "I find it much too easy to forget you're an employee. When I hear that sexy voice of yours, all I can t
hink of is Fern-the woman. When I'm laughing at your silly antics over the breakfast tacos, I'm sure not thinking about plants or profits." He slapped his hand on the table. "And you say you can't forget I'm your boss."

  That's what he got for letting himself be attracted to-this feeling was way past attraction, obsession maybe-an employee. Not only was he endangering his job by making himself vulnerable to a charge of sexual harassment, but the woman he was crazy about didn't think of him as anything except her boss. And, obviously, a bad boss at that!

  Fern's voice was so soft it took him a few seconds to realize she was speaking.

  "? risk my job by thinking of you as anything other than my boss. I've already lost most of my independence. I can't risk my job, too."

  His heart went out to her. Was Fern different from the other small company owners whose businesses had been acquired by Ultimate, or had he just never before realized what a trauma it was to give up a business to become part of a conglomerate? Pen hadn't experienced problems giving up his business and going to work for Ultimate, but he didn't have years and years invested in his company. He never had the emotional attachment to his business that Fern obviously did to hers.

  He reached across the table and took her hands in his. "I'm sorry, Fern. I guess I've been insensitive, but I really didn't understand how difficult this change is for you."

  "I don't want you to think I regret it or anything." She tried to pull her hands away, but Pen held them firmly, if gently.

  "Will you please try to forget that I'm your boss? For tonight, try to think of me as a friend. Tell me what I've done to make you think I'm such an ogre."

  "I don't think you're an ogre. I guess I just didn't think far enough ahead when I sold out. Somehow, I envisioned everything would just go on as it had, except I'd have all the advantages of a huge company-more operating capital and better benefits for my employees." She lowered her head. "I just forgot that everything has disadvantages as well as advantages. I forgot I wouldn't be the boss anymore." She blinked several times to stop the tears, but they escaped from her eyes and trickled down her cheeks.

  Pen felt an overwhelming urge to protect her. He wanted to dry her tears and keep her from ever crying again. He reached up and wiped away the tears with his thumbs. Then he leaned across the table and kissed the tip of her nose before he took her hands again.

  "What's the worst thing I've done?" he asked.

  She looked up at him. "It's not you. It's the situation. Remember, I've owned this business for ten years. I've run it entirely alone. Every decision-right or wrong-was mine. No one told me I had to send in a report to the corporate office. No one looked over my shoulder and judged everything I did. No one criticized every little mistake."

  "I don't recall doing much criticizing," Pen answered. "I'm pleased with the job you're doing, and so is everyone at corporate. Yes, we have reports. Don't you expect reports from your employees?"

  She nodded. "Most of the time I only get verbal reports, but you're right. I have to know what's happening. That's the worst part of this whole thing-it's my own fault. I just don't like it."

  "A few minutes ago you said you didn't regret selling. Now you're saying it's your own fault. You can't be at fault for something you don't regret."

  "I should have been better prepared-I usually am. Whenever I make a big decision, I try to consider all the pros and cons." She shrugged her shoulders. "I thought I did that when I decided to sell." She gave a hollow laugh as another tear dropped from her eye. "My list of pros and cons even has loss of independence as a con, but it was offset by reduced responsibility and worry as a pro."

  Pen stroked his thumbs over her sensitive palms. "You analyzed the situation thoroughly and objectively. Unfortunately, your emotions aren't objective, are they?"

  The arrival of the waitress with their meals saved her from having to reply. As they ate in silence, Fern wanted to change the subject to lighten the mood. She was searching her mind for something-anything-to say when her thoughts were interrupted by Pen's laughter. She looked up in surprise.

  "I was just thinking about the dinner we had the first night I was here. That jalapeno was about the hottest thing I've ever run across." Except Fern. Or himself when he was around her.

  Fern smiled. "I did try to warn you. I didn't know guys from Chicago thought they're as macho as South Texas men."

  "Hey, you don't think the new guy in town could afford to look like a wimp, do you? As it turned out, I was more of a wimp than I thought, but I survived it." Her smile encouraged him to continue in the same vein. "You didn't give away my secret weakness, did you?"

  "Sure I did. Didn't you bother to read the report I sent to corporate? In that section that says, 'report any special problems you have encountered this week,' I said, 'My problem is the wimp you sent down here as my boss. Any man who can't eat a jalapeno can't handle a job as big as regional manager.'" She smiled.

  Pen laughed. "Yeah, sure you did." He put down his fork and reached for her hands. "Don't you know there's a penalty for lying to the boss?"

  He pulled her toward him and leaned forward. He could no longer resist the temptation to kiss her. The big shirt she wore billowed out into her plate at the same time their joined hands knocked over his glass. He dropped her hands and they stared at each other. Fern's shirt was adorned with a large splotch of gravy, and Pen's pants were dripping with tea and ice.