by Barb Shuler
“I’ll call Papa, he’s up already. I just got to bed. Had an emergency and made a trip to Lufkin. He’ll be right there.”
“Thanks, Shelby.”
“I’ll check on her in a few hours.”
“Okay, get some rest.”
I hung up and pulled my car onto the main street. Lights on, no siren. I mean it was early, before dawn, no need to wake and rile up the natives. I kept my eyes on the road, and its surroundings as I headed out towards the house. My heart hammered in anticipation of what I was going to find when I got home.
I pulled into the yard, threw the cruiser into park, was out the car and half way up the steps when I saw Doc pulling in. I made my way through the house, and met Derek and Lana coming out of my room.
Dani Lynn was sitting on the bed, annoyance written on her face. She protested and fought - not wholeheartedly mind you - about being fine. I knew that tone. Doc bandaged her up, and yeah it was just a small cut as she had said. She would be fine. For now she insisted she was going back to sleep. I’d let her sleep for now, but she will be answering some questions in the morning.
I’d called Jacks after I walked Doc out and came back in to find Dani Lynn asleep in bed. She looked so fragile with that bandage on her head. My girl was hurting and there wasn’t much I could do to help. Why did I call my brother at ten minutes after five? Because there was a razor blade on the cabinet. It was out in plain sight. She didn’t even try to hide it.
“What?” Jacks growled into the phone.
“I need your help.”
“Drew? What’s wrong?” He sounded instantly alert now. I heard rustling of sheets and signed. Where to start?
“I- shit. I don’t know what to do, man!”
“Bubba, where are you?” He sounded concerned now. I heard Kris in the background. They shared a muffled conversation and then he was calling my name again.
“At the house. There was an incident.,” I snatched up the small razor and moved out of the room. I had to get my pain and anger under control. I didn’t want to jump to conclusions. There was no trace of blood on it, so maybe she hadn’t done what I thought she had. Had things really gotten that bad for her again? Had I missed some sign, or something?
I was so lost in my head it took a minute to realize Jacks was talking to me.
“Andrew, answer me asshole!”
“What?” I asked like an idiot. I was too preoccupied staring down at the razor in my hand. The night’s coolness did nothing to ease the burning in my veins. Had I let her get to this point, again? I promised to always take care of her. Maybe all this shit with Gabe and Derek had pushed her over the edge.
“Dammit, man, answer me.” Jacks’ voice had risen an octave. The growl in it pulled me from my head.
“I- Dani Lynn, she had an accident. She’s okay, I think.” I stopped and looked back down at my hand. I shook my head before I spoke again. “I found a fucking razor, Jacks. A fucking razor blade.”
The other end of the call went dead silent. It took him a beat to answer me again.
“I’ll be there in five minutes.” The phone call ended and I sat on the back steps. How had everything gotten so out of control? When had the scales tipped and dumped us on our asses, again?
“You okay?” I looked up to find Derek standing on the porch. I shook my head. No need to lie now. I had failed my girl and if she had slipped… it would be my fault. “What’s wrong? Is Ma okay?”
“She’s asleep,” I said, my hand curling around the razor blade. I took in a deep breath.
“I saw it. It didn’t look like she’d used it.” My gaze met his as he sat beside me.
“I made her a promise. The night she promised to never do that shit again, I promised to always keep her safe. To protect her. I fucking failed, so many times on that. She was supposed to be able to live a happy life. Not be hurt over and over again.”
“You can’t blame yourself for anything that has happened over the last- six years. Shit happens, man. Ma won’t let me blame myself for not finding Gramps and the others faster. Even though I should have. You can’t blame yourself for this, either.”
“How did you get so wise?” I asked.
“I had good teachers,” he said, nudging my shoulder with his. Jacks’ truck barrelled into the driveway. As soon as it was parked he was out and moving to pull out the babies. Kristol got out, her arms full as well before they headed our way. He gave me a hard look. Kris looked sick. Lana appeared out of nowhere and took the twins. She looked at Derek. He got up and took Ryan from her daddy and settled Joey against him as well. Taylor, poor little man, was stumbling up the stairs and followed along with them.
“Is she okay?” Jack’s asked me as soon as the kids were out of earshot.
“She’s sleeping.”
“She didn’t do it.” Kris’s words had me looking up at her, my hand uncurling to show her the blade.
“I found this on the counter,” I bit out.
“I know that, but she didn’t do it. I was on the phone with her last night. She was fighting it. She isn’t coping well with everything that’s happened. She feels like a failure and a hypocrite, but I know she didn’t do it.”
“Why in the hell would she feel like that?” I asked, dumbfounded.
“Andrew, think about it, see it from her point of view. Dani Lynn can help countless people at the center. She can guide them through their tough shit, and make them feel better about what is going on around them. She can help them take the step forward that’s needed to fix themselves, but right now, she can’t do that for herself. I understand where she’s at - mentally at least.”
“How, I mean-”
“It’s just one of those things that happens. I have those same debates with myself from time to time.” Jackson laid a hand on her arm. She looked up and gave him a soft smile. “It’s okay. We all have insecurities, and moments in our days that make life a little more frantic than others.”
“How could I not see it?” I asked.
“Because you’re too close to her. Perhaps you don’t really want to see it. You can’t fix it, so if it’s not there, it doesn’t exist.” Kristol’s hand rested on my arm as she sat beside me. I flicked my gaze to my brother, then to her.
“How do I help her?”
“You hold her when she cries. Love her when she thinks the world is out to get her, and be the man she has always loved. Do for her what you did that night in her bathroom. You be that strong willed bastard she loves. Hard love is still love. Tough love is still love. Sometimes that’s all that’s needed.”
“Some of this will change once Gabe is home, too. She’ll be able to relax, a little.” Jacks said as he sat on the other side of me. “We’re all family. Neither of you are in this alone.”
“I’m so worried about her, and Derek. Damn! I think this is just too much for them both. I know people always say shit happens for a reason, but come on. The last six years have been one fucking disaster after another. I want to know why? Why does my family have to be the one on the end of the shit stick!”
I stood up, my heart hammering in my chest as I combed my fingers through my hair, locking my fingers against the back of my neck. My frustration level was skyscraper high.
“Bubba,” Jacks said only seconds before I felt his hand land on my shoulder. “You are not alone in this. We have all been through things that have either knocked us down-”
“Or picked us up. Things happen, some good, some bad, but in the end it’s what you do with the pile of crap you are left with that matters. “ Kris came around and met my gaze. I lowered my arms and signed.
“I’m sorry.”
“Nothing to be sorry for, brother. You were there when I was in trouble. I’m here for you. Kris is too.”
“We all are.” The male voice caught me off guard. I hadn’t heard anyone else coming up behind me. I turned to see my yard was being invaded by family. I had to fight back the tears burning my eyes. Stella was the first one to make it to u
s. She wrapped her arms around me and hugged me tightly.
“Now, stop being a butthead and go wake up your wife. We have places to be. Chop, Chop. Shelby, the blonde child and I will get the babies ready. You people, do what you were told.” She said before she marched off.
“Who put her in charge?” Peter griped. I shook my head as I moved around to greet my friends, my family. I had no idea what they were doing here, but whatever it was, it must be big if they were letting Stella order them around.
“Son, stop whining. This was your sister’s idea after all,” Wayne said, a big grin on his face.
“What was her idea? Stella’s ideas get people in trouble,” I said, turning to face Wayne.
“Or shot,” Charlie snorted.
I made a face. He had a very valid point.
“Seriously, though, what is she about to do?”
I needed to know before something backfired. That seemed to happen a lot around here. Peter, Trevor and Wayne griped. Carter slid around them.
“We ready, kid?” Wayne asked his youngest son. Carter nodded his head.
“Yes, Sir. Everything is ready.”
“Great. Everyone to your cars, then. Let’s get this show on the road. Andrew, get some clean clothes on and get your family. We have a surprise for you guys.”
With that Wayne was gone.
I grumbled as Jacks forcefully guided me to the house. I was kind of scared now. I really didn’t like surprises. Dani Lynn hated them even more than I did.
God, please don’t let this throw her into a panic attack or something. If it did, I was kicking Stella in her ass. Twice!
20
Overwhelmed
Dani Lynn
It’s one thing to be bombarded by people first thing in the morning, but to be bombarded by children, arguing friends and the dog’s barking, made me an unhappy camper.
“Shift your ass, woman,” Stella said as Drew sat beside me and rubbed my back.
“Make it go away,” I said.
Drew chuckled and shook his head.
“I can’t do that, love. Come on, everyone is waiting on us.”
“What?” I said, sitting up. My face scrunching up. He gave me that cocky grin I loved so much.
“Get ya ass up, heifer!” Stella bounded up onto the bed and got right in my face. “You have two minutes before I drag ya ass out of this bed. We have things to see and people to do.”
“Don’t you mean things to do and people to see?” Drew asked.
“Nope.” Stella said, popping the p, staring at me, daring me to stay in bed.
“Come on.” I whined. I really did whine, but the looks on their faces had me growling under my breath and pulling my ass from the bed. “Fine.”
Fifteen minutes later, I was fluffed, brushed and dressed in my comfy jeans, my worn cowboy boots, and a black tank top. I scooped up Gabby as I hit the bottom of the stairs.
“There’s my pretty little monster.” I covered her face in kisses.
“Moooooooommy!!!” The shriek came from nowhere, but I caught Tyler mid-jump. I laughed softly and kissed her cheek loudly.
“Hey, munchkin.”
“I loves you, mommy!” She grinned. I raised a brow.
“I love you, too. Now, tell me what you did?” I leveled a look at her. She blinked her big, bright eyes at me and frowned.
“I not did nothings, mommy,” she said, sniffling.
“You didn’t do anything?” I asked again.
“No!” She said, reaching up to Squish my face. “We habs a sus-susp-suspise for you!!!”
“A surprise? For me?”
“Yeeeeeeeees!” She shrieked, that loud pterodactyl screech - right in my ear mind you- before I set her down.
Surprise? Ugh, I hated surprises, man. I patted my back pocket to make sure my cell was still there and made my way outside to the back porch. There were a few cars in the yard, and several familiar faces all turned to smile up at me.
“So, a little monster said she had a surprise for me. Let’ get that over with, please.”
Drew came up and kissed me softly. Gabby protested because her Daddy wasn’t paying her any attention, so my kid was stolen from me. As usual. I chuckled and followed them towards my Jeep. The other kids were already loaded up and in their carseats.
“Coooooome on, Mommy!!!” Tyler said. I shook my head and laughed.
“Alright, miss bossy pants, I’m coming. See, I’m in now.”
I climbed into the Jeep and turned, putting my knee in the seat to make sure Elijah and Tyler were secure while Drew got Gabby into her carseat. Tyler could fasten herself in, but I always double checked her snaps. There was no taking chances with my babies security.
“Snug as a bug?” I asked, as I tugged at the restraint one last time.
“Yep, yep. Snug as a bug, Mommy!” I smiled at her and checked Elijah’s restraint straps.
“He’s in, baby. I did his before you came out.” Drew shut the passenger door and climbed in the driver seat.
“I just have to check. You know that.”
“I know, baby. I know.” He grinned up at me. I leaned over and kissed his lips softly and turned to sit in my seat and pull my seatbelt on.
I didn’t see Derek’s Jeep in the yard, but that wasn’t anything new. He would be off with Lana and most likely Carter. They spent their weekends doing God only knew what together. I take that back. They were either at the Center working with the kids there, or down helping Mama Jay, Mrs. T and their garden club get the town square and the parks flower beds cleaned up. We really did get lucky. We all have great kids. They’re smart, kind-hearted and would do anything for someone in need.
I watched as we drove down the road. It was a nice morning. Warm, but not stifling hot, yet. Texas weather was a little crazy as of late. I glanced back at my babies and smiled when Drew reached over and gave my hand a gentle squeeze.
“So, where are we going?” I asked.
Drew went to answer, but was cut off by Tyler.
“NO, Daddy! It’s a suspise!!”
“Yes, Princess. I know. I won’t tell Mommy. I promise.”
Tyler seemed pacified by this and went back to playing with her dinosaur. I shook my head and tapped the fingers of my free hand on my leg. I raised a brow when we turned off headed towards Dad’s house. I hummed along with the radio until Drew came to a stop just before you crossed the tree line to where you could see Dad’s house. I turned to Drew.
“What’s wrong?” I asked, looking back at the kids.
“Relax, baby. There is nothing wrong. Can you put this on for me?” He asked this as he handed me a bandana. Now was not the time for craziness.
“Andrew,” I warned.
“For once, would you just put this on, cover those gorgeous eyes and trust me?” I sighed.
“Hurry, Mommy!!” Tyler called out from the back seat. I chuckled, even though I wasn’t sure about this.
“Okay, no need to gang up on me.”
I pulled the bandana around my head, covering my eyes and tied it in a knot.
Drew squeezed my hand and the Jeep started moving again. A few minutes later we pulled down the drive and I smiled. This place would always be my home. It was where I played, cried for my mom and found the strength to be me again. The Jeep came to a stop and I went to open my door, but was stopped by Drew’s hand on my thigh.
“Give me a minute and I’ll come get ya, baby.”
“Okay,” I said.
I knew this property like the back of my hand. I could traverse it in pitch black midnight hours if I had to. Minus a random gopher hole, all would be good. I heard him getting the kids out of the Jeep, then he moved around to get me. The door opened and I slowly slid from the seat.
“I’m going to walk behind you, but my arms will be around you. Is that okay?” He asked as he kissed my cheek.
I swallowed and let out a deep breath. It was Drew, he wouldn’t let me freak out about being held like that. I nodded.
&nbs
p; “I’m okay. It’s you,” I said.
He kissed my cheek again and steered me in the direction he wanted me to go. I could smell the scents of cut grass and something else. What was that?
“Come on, Daddy! Hurry up!!” I smiled as Tyler let out one of those Pterodactyl screeches again. That kid... she better be glad she’s cute. I jerked slightly as Drew came to a stop.
“Steady, baby. I’ve got you.” He chuckled before letting out a big breath.
“Can I take this thing off now?” I whined.
“No, not yet. Let me say something first. We love you. Me, the kids, the girls, their families. Everyone. You do so much for everyone without putting yourself first so, we did something for you.” His voice lowered as he brushed a kiss along my neck. “If you don’t like it, we can blame Stella.”
“What?” I tried to take the damn bandana off but his big hands stopped me.
“Hold on a sec, baby.” He was moving behind me, but I couldn’t tell what he was doing. It took a moment of me fretting before Tyler laid against my legs.
“Mommy take it off. You can see now. We ready!” She clapped her hands around me leg and I chuckled. God, I loved this kid. I untied the bandana, and when it was gone from before me, I gasped.
Tears instantly pooled in my eyes as I brought my hands to my mouth.
“Oh, My God!” There before me was my dad’s house. The house I had grown up in. It looked like it had before my mom died. This house hadn’t been this alive since the night she left us. I looked back at Drew who was watching me intently.
The pale yellow paint had been revived, there were flower boxes once again hanging from the wrap around porch. The windows were all open, the small bit of air we had making the sheer, white curtains dance around. I scanned the yard. Each flower bed was full of beautiful flowers, and small bushes followed the edge around the porch. I took a few steps closer to the house and stopped.
There were baskets of begonias on the stairs that led up the porch. My momma had loved begonias. I fought back a sob as I took in the rest of the yard. The wood pile had been cleaned up, stacked and the new barn was up. I spun to see the rest of the front yard. The tears rolling down my face were all I could muster. I was speechless.