Beyond the Heart

by Jeanie P Johnson

  “I’ve missed your sister a powerful lot,” he told her. “I hope you can take her place.”

  “I suppose I can try,” Callie mumbled, but every fiber in her body was fighting against it.

  “We’ll see,” was all he said.

  The room had already been reserved, so Chet led Callie straight up to the room, unlocked the door, and pulled her in with him.

  “Not much, but just for a night, it will have to do,” he told her, as she looked around the drab room.

  “You didn’t give me an opportunity to bring my nightclothes with me,” she pointed out.

  “We’ll only be here one night. No need for that. You are my wife now. You do understand what that means.”

  Callie didn’t answer.

  “Never mind,” he said, shrugging. “Just take your clothes off, so I can see what I have here.”

  Callie blinked.

  “Honestly, Chet, do you just expect me to disrobe right here on the spot?”

  “We’re in a hotel room. You are my wife. This is our wedding day. What else did you expect?”

  “But I barely know you,” she faltered.

  “Doesn’t matter, you will get to know me soon enough, so do as I say.”

  “I haven’t even bathed,” she complained.

  “There’s a cloth and water on the dresser. You can freshen up a bit if you prefer, once you remove your clothes. You going to stand there all day hedging?”

  “I just don’t feel comfortable…”

  “Get over it, Callie. You are my wife now, and if you do not want me to undress you, I suggest you do it yourself.”

  Callie stood quaking with fear and anger, but she did not want Chet to bodily remove her clothes for her, so she complied. When she stood before him, holding her petticoat in front of her, he gave a low laugh.

  “Use the cloth and water, and then lay down on the bed,” he instructed her.

  She turned her back to him and washed, feeling frightened and humiliated. Once she had finished, she turned to the bed, to discover that Chet had also removed his clothes. Callie clutched her petticoat to her, as she averted her eyes, closing them tightly when she sank down on the bed.

  She felt Chet, pulling the petticoat from her grasp.

  “We’ll just make this quick since you seem to be so affronted by it. But that doesn’t mean you are getting away with anything,” he muttered.

  Callie could feel him settle himself on the bed, and then he was positioning her for something she believed was diabolical in intent. She felt his hand smooth over her skin, preparing her to accept a situation she knew she was going to dread. She tried to squirm away from his touch. Only there was no place to go, because his other hand held her firmly, making her comply with his wishes. He forced her to remain still until he was ready to lower himself over her.

  A moment later, she let out a cry of fear and confusion, as she felt him plunging down on her, breaking some barrier that she hadn’t even known was there. The shock of it shot through her body and she tried to resist. Only there was no resisting because he weighed too much. He refused to let up from her, enough for her to find a way to escape his assault.

  To Callie, it was an assault of the worst kind. She began to realize through the muddled haze of discovery, what the duties of a wife entailed. To her, it was a vile thing that was not a fair trade for having a man support her, and care for her welfare.

  He was right. It was quick and ended soon enough. She let out her breath when he finally stilled.

  “I haven’t had this kind of pleasure for a long time,” he muttered in her ear, as he lay over her, still pressed against her, as though he wished no space to exist between them. “Now that I got that out-of-the-way, I will give you some time to rest.”

  Only he remained lying over her, his weight seeming unbearable, and then he was snoring slightly in her ear. She managed to push him off of her, onto his back. Now, she boldly looked down on him, wondering how his manhood, resting flaccid and limp, could have accomplished what he had been doing a few moments earlier. She pulled the blanket over him in disgust.

  Her exhaustion pulled her into a fitful sleep. In her dreams, that face she thought she had seen replacing the light of the gas lamp, hovered over her. It threatened her even more than the experience, she had just endured. There seemed to be no escape from that troubling face that always lingered in her mind somewhere, any more than there was an escape from the unwanted marriage she had unwillingly entered into.

  She was vaguely aware of being touched, and her eyes flew open to discover Chet hovering over her. His hand traced over her skin, exploring her body, as though he had not touched a woman’s body before. She knew full well he had. Her skin strained to repel his advances, as his mouth trailed over her. His seeking fingers touched parts of her she had always thought to be too personal for someone to touch. She shuddered with the revulsion of it, as he ignored her constant whimpers, begging him to leave her be.

  “You are my wife. I own you. Every part of you belongs to me now. It is your Godly duty to submit to my wishes, so don’t think that just because you whimper like you are being harmed, I am going to be swayed by your pretense. I have only done what any other red-blooded man would do when his wife is attending to his needs. And you will attend to my needs, just as your sister did. I have every right to request it, as often as I desire, until I have gotten you with a child. Your sister didn’t have but one boy in her. I hope you will be more fruitful with sons than your sister was. It is the law of the church, that you give me children, and God’s laws should be upheld. I got plenty of girls, so now I need sons. I let the first time be quick and easy on you. Now, since you know what to expect, and I have let you rest, I will take you at my leisure, this time around.”

  Chet continued with what he had started, as Callie lay still and unyielding, beneath his administrations. She felt each new touch degraded her more than the previous one. As she submitted to his handling of her, he chuckled at her insistence at keeping her eyes closed.

  “Closing your eyes does not hide you from me,” he told her. “You need to accept the reality of these things. You need to face the fact that I shall be the father of all the sons you can give me. You need to start learning how to become my wife. Look at me, so you can see how much I desire you at this moment,” he demanded.

  Slowly, Callie opened her eyes and looked upon him.

  “That’s better,” he praised. “It is the way God made us to be, Callie. You should not cower in fear. You should embrace it. Eventually, it will make us closer.”

  “I do not wish to become closer to you,” Callie protested.

  “What you wish is not important, at the moment,” he informed her. “This is part of your future, so you might as well get used to it.”

  “Why must you humiliate me so?” she questioned.

  “There is no reason for you to feel humiliated. Once you are used to it, you may find it rewarding. Don’t you have any curiosity about the way I may feel to your touch?”

  “No,” she answered firmly.

  “I am a simple man with simple needs. Once you accept that truth, you will not be so squeamish about it.”

  Then he laughed deeply, as he imprisoned her beneath him once again. Like her sister, before her, she would give him children without objection or complaint. She had agreed to become his wife, and though he knew full well, she did not particularly like him, it made little difference.

  When he had used her earlier, it had been rather swift and to the point, since he was impatient, not having been with a woman since his wife died. Now he wanted to savor the pleasure by prolonging the episode to enhance his own enjoyment, in the end.

  To Callie, Chet appeared to have a deep, dark need to ravish her as though trying to discover something that might enhance his own knowledge. Yet, she knew he was already knowledgeable about these things. Hadn’t he brought on five children and most likely used her sister at every chance he got? It was a form of taunting torment,
she decided. Forcing her to degrade herself, then coaxing her to believe he was eager to give her some hidden pleasure, that never presented itself.

  “Don’t just lay there,” he demanded. “You need to meet me half way, in this.”

  “Why should I meet you half way in anything?” she asked, stiffly. “You merely want my body to be used as a vessel for your future children, as though Rolletta did not give you enough children. She ended up giving her life at the expense of your pleasure!”

  Suddenly, Chet pulled away from her, glaring down at her face. Then she felt the sting of his hand slap across her face.

  “How dare you accuse me of such a thing! She wanted to bear me sons! Your sister loved me. The only problem was, she kept giving me daughters.”

  “You used her up, trying to get sons!” Callie accused. “Just like you are trying to use me up now, and degrade me by forcing me to service you! You can’t dictate to God to give you only sons!”

  “This is your duty!” he growled. “You had better pray you give me sons, or you will be as useless as your sister turned out to be.”

  “It was not her fault she had mostly girls,” Callie protested. Duty or not, it will not mean I shall have only boys,” she responded.

  “I demand more respect from you than that!” he bellowed. “And you will have sons!”

  Callie laughed bitterly. “Then you had better make a bargain with the devil because I can make no promises,” she informed him.

  “If that’s what it takes, perhaps I shall, and in the meantime, I had better not hear any complaints coming from you!”

  With those words, he pulled her roughly to him and continued to take his right as a husband. When he was finished, he grabbed her by the shoulders, forcing her to look at him.

  “After this, you shall submit quietly. I don’t want to hear a word coming out of your mouth,” he commanded. “Do you understand?”

  Callie did not answer. She merely glared at him.

  “I asked you a question, woman; I suggest you indicate that you heard me.”

  Callie merely nodded.

  “Good. Go back to sleep. We need to get up early tomorrow since I am not done with you yet. Before we leave for the ranch, I plan to get my fill of you. I have been deprived of a woman’s body for too long now. I will have plenty of energy by morning again, and I suggest you start finding ways to accept it. You will give me more sons, since your sister couldn’t, and I will make every effort to ensure that will come about, no matter what it takes, or how many births are needed. If I end up using you up, then so be it!”

  Chet settled down on the bed beside Callie, and Callie turned away from him, trying to hold back her tears.

  CHAPTER THREE

  By morning, Callie was no more rested than she had been the first time she had lain upon the bed. She shivered all night, dreading the morning, and allowing her tears to drain her. When she did sleep, her dreams were disturbed by that recurring face, hanging over her. She was sure it was the face of evil, brought on by Chet’s treatment of her. Chet had seemed uninterested in her disposition, or maybe he had just worn himself out to the point of where he was merely oblivious to anything around him. He snored loudly, which kept her awake, most of the night as well.

  When he did wake up, he followed through with his intentions to show his wife, he meant what he said, the night before. He woke Callie when he turned her to accept him once again, with a smooth, even thrust. Then he continued on, his stamina having doubled, it seemed to Callie.

  Callie accepted her position, knowing there was no escape, so she closed her mind to what was happening, waiting for his ardor to be spent. Once he had finished his performance, he rose from the bed, looking down on her, touching himself, as a smile stole across his face.

  “You are a God-send, Callie. I feel like a man again. Let’s hope a son is already growing within you. I will bring you a fresh dress from one of your trunks, and you can take a bath in the tub provided in the room at the end of the hall. I know you are new to this, but you will soon learn what I expect from you, and how I wish you to respond. Hopefully, you may end up enjoying it.”

  Only Callie knew she would never enjoy it. There had never been a single moment when she thought he was about to show her some unexpected pleasure because his own needs overtook any limited attempt to please her.

  The bath proved to be refreshing, and by the time Callie was dressed, she was looking forward to leaving, grateful that they would not remain at the hotel. She knew the journey to his ranch would probably last several days, which would give her a reprieve, where she could pull herself into her own thoughts. She would just pretend like Chet was not even sitting beside her in his wagon.

  Before they left, Chet took her to the hotel dining room and bought her breakfast, and then he helped her up into the wagon. She fished a parasol out of one of her trunks and held it over her head to shade herself from the sun. The dust rose around them, once they got out onto the open road, where Chet could pick up some speed.

  The scenery was much the same as the scenery she had been looking at all the way to Doge. Now they were headed south, down towards Texas, through endless grasslands, and purple mountains in the distance.

  They stopped to eat a packed lunch along the way, which Chet had asked the cook at the hotel to prepare for them. His eyes gazed over Callie’s face, as they sat on a blanket he had spread upon the ground.

  “I do believe our evening activities have enhanced your beauty,” he murmured. “It becomes you. Your eyes look a more vivid blue than when I first found you sitting on your trunks. You probably enjoyed it more than you wish to admit to me,” he chuckled.

  Callie did not agree, but she kept her thoughts to herself. She wondered how she was going to get through a lifetime with Chet. She wondered how Rolletta had done it? She began to believe that Rolletta died on purpose, so she wouldn’t have to suffer from Chet’s body abusing her, to bring more sons into the world. Rolletta had given birth every other year running. It suddenly occurred to Callie that Rolletta’s fate would now become her own fate, and her heart fell. Even if she gave Chet a son, she feared, he would always demand more.

  The trip continued with little conversation between Chet and Callie. She had nothing she wished to speak to him about, and he seemed deep in his own thoughts.

  “We will camp here the night,” Chet informed her, as he pulled the wagon up under a lone tree.

  She watched him get down and spread out a tarp, under the wagon, and then lay a couple of blankets over it.

  “It gets cold at night, so we will be leaving our clothes on,” he informed her, which relieved Callie’s mind.

  Chet pulled Callie down beside him, placing the blanket over their shoulders.

  “I have been thinking about you all day,” he murmured in her ear. “I cannot tell you how much I enjoyed the touch of you, and the smell of you, and the feel of you. I believe I am going to enjoy having you as my wife.”

  “The feeling is not mutual,” Callie murmured.

  Chet stilled for a moment.

  “I am sorry you feel that way. If that is the case, then I suppose there is no need to attempt to please you.”

  “Even if you tried, you don’t know the first thing about it,” she accused.

  “I am the one who has agreed to take you under my wing when you had no prospects,” he almost hissed.

  “I never wished it. I have been forced to marry you and take my sister’s place. I do not envy the life she must have shared with you, so I do not look forward to my future with you on any level.”

  “You are an ungrateful little shrew,” he accused.

  “By no fault of my own since you have not given me anything to be grateful for.”

  “I am giving you security! I am giving you a chance to become a mother. I am giving you shelter over your head, and you call that nothing?”

  “I never asked for it. It was forced upon me against my will.”

  “There is no changing it no
w, though, so you are just going to have to live with it,” he muttered. “I am glad of it, though, because your very aloofness excites me. I will look forward to proving that you are not as above me as you seem to think you are. You come from a wealthy family. I had to work for everything I have achieved. The only thing you have had to do in life is be born and then expect to be cared for and pampered throughout your life. A ranch life is not an easy life, as your sister discovered. She too expected to be pampered, and you, like her, will eventually discover your place in life, and act accordingly.”

  “It makes me think you married my sister for the sole purpose of dragging her down to your level, and now you wish to do the same with me.”

  “How dare you disrespect me with such accusations!” he bellowed. “I am not dragging you down; I am showing you the simple truths of life, which you are refusing to accept.”

  Chet turned and looked long and hard at Callie.

  “However long it takes me, you will eventually learn that I am the head of this union, and my wishes are to be obeyed, regardless of what you may think or feel about me. I do not need your love if you are set on withholding it. However, I shall have every other part of you, whether you delight in it or not.”

  She had kindled his anger, so he decided to be blunt with her.

  “When I am finished with you, you will learn a new respect for me,” he promised her. “If you know what’s good for you, you will discover ways to please your husband. Until then, I will just have to entertain myself discovering the extent of what lay beneath your skirts.”

  Callie whimpered, at his words.

  “But if you are cooperative, things could be different,” he promised. “Do you not give me any credit to know how to please a woman? The thing is, if you want pleasing, you will have to earn it.”

  “I am not sure what you mean,” she murmured, looking away.

  “You will discover it, in time,” he responded. “For now, I forgive you for getting on my bad side. When the time is right, I will school you in ways that will bring out a softer side of me.”