“If she trusted you, she would’ve.”
I glower at him. “She trusts me enough to tell me about you. She wanted to go on a double date—”
“That wasn’t a double date unless you were dating yourself. Did you go back to your room and finger yourself? Because if you did, then maybe it could count as being a double date.”
I flinch and suppress the urge to smack him right in the kisser. I hate to think about Bay kissing those lips.
“You are here for one reason and one reason only,” he says. “You’re here to try to break up your sister and me, and the only reason why you want to do that is because I am a demon. You made up your mind about me, and—”
“No, that’s not why.”
He eyes me, and my stomach tightens.
“You don’t understand your sister at all, do you?” he asks. “I understand her in a way that you can never. She is like me. She’s more like me than she is like you, and it has nothing to do with your bodies and eyes and all of that. You and her aren’t alike.”
“You don’t know me.”
“Oh, but she’s told me about you. You court danger.”
“I do not!” I protest.
He lifts his eyebrows. “Fuck, girl. That’s a lie.”
“No, it isn’t.”
"Yes. You do. That Spring chick. Thistle. You run around all over the place, acting as if you're the shit, as if you can't die. You can. You know that? You can bleed."
“Do you love her?” I demand.
“Do you?” he counters.
“Of course I do!”
“If you could, would you convince her to stop dating me?”
I hesitate.
"She loves me. You would have her give me up, and for what? What can you offer her? You judge her all the time, and you find her lacking. Is that right? Is that fair?"
“I don’t judge her,” I protest, my voice cracking.
“Your actions say otherwise.”
“I never thought she could be involved with drugs. I have always fought for her, and yes, I will stand up and fight you if I think you aren’t right for her.”
“She’s happy, isn’t she?” he asks with a coy smile that sets my teeth on edge.
“Do you even know what love is?” I demand. “Do you care for her, or do you just fuck her?”
He claps his hands. “How did it feel to say that word? Did it feel good? Do you like that anger you’re feeling?”
“Leave me be.”
“No,” he says in a tight, controlled tone that makes me want to back away from him. Without moving, he seems to be invading my space to the point of suffocating me. “You came here to try to intimidate me, to control me. What do you think you can do? That you can stop me? That’s not how it works. I do what I want, and I want to be with your sister.”
“For now, isn’t that right? You don’t want to be with her long-term, do you?”
He laughs. “Who says she wants to be with me long-term?”
“Can you love? Can any demon?”
“Ah, that’s the question you most want answered, isn’t it? Because of that half-demon? The one your sister wants you to be with?”
“She wants me to be with Damon because she wants me to accept you.”
“So why can’t you be a good little sister and accept me?” he asks.
I say nothing and just glare at him.
"You have fire in you. I'll give you that. Might not be bad in bed. But do you have a wild side? Because that's what I like about your sister. She's experimenting, willing to try new things."
“In case you haven’t noticed, I’m not with Damon.”
“Oh, I know that, but you’re also cruel. Not choosing either boy. You might very well end up alone.”
Tears prickle my eyes. He knows just what to say to wound me, but I refuse to let those tears fall. Zoth won’t know that he’s succeeding.
“Leave, Rosemary. I won’t tell you anything you want to hear, and you won’t trap me into saying something that you can run back to your sister to try to convince her to break up with me. I like her. Her mind, her mouth, her sass, her ass, her pussy. We’re together whether you like it or approve or not.”
I fly off with a bitter taste in my mouth and a heavy lump for a heart. He likes her, yes, but I can’t help noticing two glaring omissions.
He didn’t say that he liked her heart or her soul.
Chapter 14
Beaten down, feeling the lowest I have ever felt, I slowly fly back to campus. I almost don’t even want to return to Light Fae Academy, and I debate going to the treehouse to see Mom and Dad. Of course I decide against that. Mom would ask too many prying questions instead of just being there for me when I need her the most.
I have no one to blame but myself for the downturn my life has taken. Confronting Zoth accomplished absolutely nothing. My fears are magnified, not lessened, and I don’t know what to do next, where to turn.
Somehow, I have to get my head on straight and fly straight, or else I'm going to fall behind on my classes. Considering I'm taking six this year, I cannot allow that to happen. Which means less time for friends and for the guys… if they will even talk to me.
If I’m not careful, I really will end up alone.
The very last thing I want is to upset anyone else. I’m just going to go to bed. Tomorrow is another day.
I fly to the cottage and enter my room. No one else is around, and it takes me a bit to realize that it’s dinner time. I’ve wasted so much time today, and the thought of food makes my stomach churn. Eating just isn’t going to happen tonight.
Pausing before my mirror, I realize my face is looking a little thin. All of me is. I’m losing weight because of the hectic schedule that is my life. I’ll be sure to eat better tomorrow.
I flop onto the bed when my door slams against the wall. Considering the door had been open, that's a bit excessive.
Rolling over, I spy a seething Bay.
“You went and harassed Zoth? Why? What is your deal, Rosemary? What did he ever do to you? What did I ever do to you?”
I sit up. This is not going to be a good conversation, not at all. “Bay—”
“I have never been anything but supportive of you. Do I think you’re crazy at times? You bet I do. Do I ever think you bite off more than you can chew? Yes. Do I—”
“I don’t eat like a pig,” I protest. “Why are you insulting me?”
"Oh, fire and brimstone! Fuck, you're so naïve at times! It's an expression. You try to do everything by yourself even if it puts you in danger. Do I yell at you for it? Do I try to stop you? No, no, I don't. I let you live your life and make your own mistakes. I—"
"So, you admit that Zoth might be a mistake then?" I pry.
She flies over to me, and although I want to stay sitting, having her loom over me makes me feel tiny and small. That’s ridiculous. We’re the same size. Inhaling deeply, I fly so that we’re staring each other eye-to-eye.
“I admit nothing of the sort,” she snaps, “and if you think you can twist my words around—”
"You don't have to worry about my doing that. I wouldn't do that to you or Zoth, but I wouldn't put it past Zoth."
“Why? Why do you hate him so much? If you had a problem with him, why didn’t you just tell me? Talk to me? Why did you have to go to his house and harass him?”
“I didn’t harass—”
"You came to talk to him as a friend? No. You didn't. You went with an agenda, and I am so sick of this! You pretend to not judge me. You pretend to be on my side. I know you've defended me at times, but was that through gritted teeth? Do you think I'm evil? I’ve made mistakes, yes, but so have you, Rosemary. You aren’t the lightest fairy here, not by a long shot. In fact…” She closes her eyes for a long moment.
“In fact what?” I snap.
“In fact, I think you court danger.”
My nostrils flare. “It’s funny you should say that because Zoth said those exact same words to me.”
“Did he?” she asks coolly. “Then I guess he and I are a lot alike.”
I cross my arms. We’re so close that I bumped her as a result. “Or it means you’ve been talking about me behind my back.”
“Maybe because I’m concerned about you!”
“About me? You’re the one sneaking off to see your demonic boyfriend all the time! How are your—”
“He’s a demon, but he’s not demonic!” she says hotly.
“Oh, is that so?” I ask, my tone as cold as ice. “Because his jokes aren’t funny.”
“You have a terrible sense of humor.”
“That’s mature.”
“You are so infuriating! Why don’t you just admit it, Rosemary? You love me, but you just tolerate me. You love me because we’re sisters, but if we weren’t, you wouldn’t even want to be seen in the same air space as me.”
“That’s not true,” I protest.
“Isn’t it, though? Think. Deep down. You don’t like me.”
“Bay, how can you say that?”
“Oh, don’t act all indignant,” she snaps. “If you would just focus on the truth, you would recognize it. Instead, you’re too caught up in this idea that you have to be perfect.”
“That’s not—”
“You can claim that everything I say isn’t true, but that’s not the truth.”
“I can’t lie!”
“You’re delusional,” she retorts. “You didn’t tell Sage about me because you were afraid he would want me over you. You saw me as a competitor instead of as your sister.”
I say nothing.
“You wanted me to be with Damon before you even knew the guy. Isn’t that right? You thought, hmm, a half-demon. Perfect for Bay. Why? Because I’m dark? Guess what, Rosemary? You’re dark too! You’re contaminated!”
“How am I dark?”
“You’re hurting Sage and Damon! Both of them! You have them on leashes, pulling them close just enough that they think they stand a chance, but you won’t actually give in and pick one. You want to keep them both close, but you won’t let either one of them go. You’re selfish and manipulative and—”
“Stop!”
“What’s wrong? You’re feeling attacked? Good! Because that’s how Zoth and I feel. You attacked us out of nowhere!”
“I didn’t attack you.”
“You went and talked down to Zoth, didn’t you?”
“I talked to him. I wouldn’t say I talked down to him.”
She just glares at me, her own arms crossed.
“I didn’t!”
“You have to stop,” she insists. “Don’t ruin my happiness because you can’t handle a little romance in your life. You need to do what you need to do, and I get that, but you have a bit of a reputation.”
I gape at her. “I do?”
“Yes, and it’s not that you’re the lightest fairy here.” She blows out a breath.
“What are they saying about me?”
Bay shakes her head and back down, even drifting closer to the ground so I’m above her.
“Just tell me!” I plead.
“They’re saying…”
“What?”
“They’re saying you’re darker than I am,” she whispers.
Chapter 15
That’s the end of our conversation, and I try to go to sleep, but I can’t. I toss and turn all night long, and when dawn finally breaks, I snap. I just need to get away from this academy, to get away from all of them—Bay, Damon, and Sage especially but all of the gossiping students here too.
But where can I go? I think frantically as I debate over the gates of the academy before classes start. Not home, for obvious reasons. Besides, I’m hoping that my parents’ treehouse won’t be my home much longer, that I’ll be able to get a job and a place of my own shortly after I graduate.
I think of a half-dozen other places I can sneak away to, but honestly, Bay knows about all of them. Not that I think she’ll realize I’m gone and not that I think she’ll come to find me.
With a strangled sigh, I press on. I can’t believe I’m doing this, but I am. I’m seeking refuge with the humans.
Which means I need to stop flying.
I land and considering taping my wings down. It hurt when Damon did it that one time, but the wings had to be as tight against me as possible to make sure they didn’t interfere with the parachute, only my parachute hadn’t worked.
In the end, I use a vine to tie them down. Yes, I’ll do illusions to ensure that none of the humans realize I’m not like them. I’ll blend right in.
Now that’s one course I’m not surprised I never had to take. I’ve been creating illusions since I was two. Sometimes, I even made it so that my parents couldn’t tell which of us was which out of Bay and myself. Even Bay, all of two, got confused. It was hilarious! Although Bay did end up crying because she had been so confused. I almost forgot about that. She doesn’t cry much at all, so that convinced Mom and Dad all the more that she was Rosemary.
Maybe I have had some darkness inside of me all along.
Normally, I don't care about what others think of me. I've always been more worried about Bay and her reputation. Why is that? Because I assumed they would think her dark? And that they wouldn't think the same about me?
Yes.
What’s worse is that they do think that about me.
I walk along a street. People hustle and bustle, and most pay me no mind. After all, the free-thinking fairies, the ones not involved with the fairy courts, tend to dress very much like humans. The fancy dresses and all of that is more for fae royalty. Back in ancient times, all fae, regardless of royal blood or not, wore finery day in and day out. Not anymore.
The more I walk, the more glances I get, but it might be because I’m careful to keep some distance from everyone despite the overly crowded glops of people on the sidewalk.
Then someone lets out a low whistle.
I recognize the sound. Bay's had it directed her way before. Disgusted, I glare at the offender, whose smile dies. He holds up his hands as if to show he meant no offense, and he hurries away.
Hmm. I guess my expression shows how much I do not want to be messed with.
Fire and brimstone, what am I doing here? If I don’t want to talk to any of the humans, there’s no point in being here.
With a new destination in mind, I hurry along, pressing through the people. I need to get out of this city, whatever it’s called.
Due south, I find the more spread-out area, the houses farther apart, and then I find a forest. Ah, nature. There, I can try to center my thoughts, to feel refreshed and renewed. At least, that’s the hope.
Nature class has been a bit of a letdown, if I'm being honest. I don't care much for the professor. He drones on and on about the plants, whereas I want to know more about using nature and its peace to find peace within. Maybe times, instead of working on my assignments in the course, I instead seek to learn more about centering and finding one's self through nature. The plants I already know about between what my mom taught me before I ever set wing inside Light Fae Academy and between Chlorokinesis.
There’s no clearing that I can find within the forest, so I merely find a chopped-down tree and sit on its stump. The animals nearby owe this land, and I do my best to not disturb them at all. My eyes close, and I can feel the weight of the air, the gentlest of breezes, the thriving hum of life. The sun shines brightly here, and I feel her rays despite the canopy of overgrown branches high above my head. The trees here are tall, very tall, and I enjoy their shade.
Scampering underfoot. Tiny claws against rocks. Rustling underbrush. There’s a cycle to life here, if one can urge oneself to be perfectly still and allow nature to run its course.
The scent of berries forces my eyes open, and I rise to my feet, almost gliding. Graceful as ever to try to prevent ruining nature’s careful balance, I step slowly to the right, following my nose. A few rabbits are nibbling at the bottom of a blackberry bush. They
linger despite my presence, and I drop a few into my mouth. Deliciously bitter. Not everything I eat has to be sickeningly sweet.
A few paces away are more berry bushes, and I leave the rabbits to gnaw on the blackberries and leaves to indulge in another. This place feels so very removed from the rest of the world. It almost doesn't feel as if it belongs to humans, fairies, angels, or demons. This forest merely exists for the animals, for the sake of nature.
I wander along, watching birds fly from tree to tree. Squirrels race about on the ground and scramble up trees. A deer notices me, dips her head, and jumps away.
Curious, I follow her to a stream. Several animals are drinking, but many more are heading down stream. It’s so strange how I can almost see annoyance on their furry features. Something is bothering them.
Not quite alarmed but a little unsettled, I move upstream. At first, I see and hear nothing, but then I hear wild thrashing. Someone is in great distress.
Just then, I hear screaming. The words are inaudible, mumbled messes of distressing sounds, and I race toward the source, my eyes straying more toward the water than either bank.
And that is when I see a tiny form bobbing in the rushing water. This part of the stream is wider than down below, the current much stronger. A boy, a young one, is flying within the water, the current carrying him along and dunking him beneath the waves.
I do not hesitate. Into the waters I plunge. The water is colder than I anticipated, but that does not make me hesitate. Onward, I go, forcing my legs to step, step, step. My foot slides on a slippery rock, and I nearly fall. The water is deeper than I thought, and I glide into the water, not quite diving, it’s not that deep, and I do my best to try to catch up to him, to grab him. His arms are flailing up ahead of me, and then his movements start to slow, and he begins to sink.
Down into the water I go, and I snatch him. Up to the surface I zoom, wishing I could fly, but the water has only made the vine knots tighter to the point of being painful, whereas, before my submersion, the vine might not have held back my wings tightly enough.
Onto the bank we go, and I lay him out. A woman and a few others thank me as they shove me aside and tend to the boy. They breathe into his mouth and pinch his nose. Another pushes on the boy’s chest hard enough that I flinch.
Light Fae Academy: Year Three Page 7