"We all are feeling terrible about our own issues right now," Orchid says. "That's why I thought that talking about the possibility of the future might help. We all need some hope."
“Hope,” I repeat bitterly. “Right now, I don’t have any hope that the future will be any better. Death seems to follow me wherever I go.”
“Then death is following all of us,” she argues.
I just shake my head. The little boy haunts me like a ghost, and I don’t know if I can handle living in a world where humans are able to die when they could have been saved if a fairy hadn’t been afraid to reveal just who she is to them.
Chapter 18
I end up going to bed and wake up starving. In the kitchen, we barely have any food at all, and I snack on stale bread and cheese that is questionably turning moldy. Disgusting, yes, but I’m too hungry to care at this point. Besides, it almost feels like a penance.
I finish the bread first and eye the cheese when the back door opens, and Bay flies in. She halts when she sees me and then eyes the cheese on my plate. She takes a whiff and waves her hand before her nose.
“If you eat that, you’ll get sick.”
“Maybe I deserve to.” I will myself to pick up a chunk of cheese, but my arm doesn’t move.
“Don’t,” she shouts.
“Don’t eat it? I’m hungry.”
“No, don’t be a martyr. Well, and yes, don’t eat it.” She sits across from me.
“Bay—”
“Don’t.” She holds up a hand. “We are going to pretend it never happened.”
“But—”
“I’m serious.” She grabs her purse and dumps out an array of cookies. “Dig in.”
“Where did you get these?” I eye the delicious assortment and pick out a cookie covered in cinnamon sugar. One bite to reveal the soft buttery cookie inside the coating and I close my eyes and hum my appreciation.
“Does it matter?”
I open my eyes to see her smirk.
“A peace offering,” she says, leaning over and breaking off a large piece of my cookie.
“Hey!”
“A peace offering is meant to be shared.” She winks.
“Did you hear about the professor?” I ask.
A sad look crosses Bay’s features. “Professor Luna. Yes, I heard.”
"Her course was starting to get really interesting, too, don't you think?"
“It was a lot harder of a course than I thought it would be,” Bay admits.
“You were struggling?” I ask, surprised.
“Yeah. I’m sure you weren’t, though.”
“I’m sure you’re wrong.” The first cookie’s demolished, so I reach for another one that looks like a chocolate lover’s dream.
“Really?” Bay blinks a few times. “I would’ve thought…”
“It’s such a personal subject, illumination. I understand why there weren’t any group projects, but it’s hard to open your mind, to allow yourself to see every little thing about you.” I shrug. “I’ve said before that people have a mixture of light and dark in them, but seeing my own darkness…”
“You aren’t that dark,” she protests.
“Neither are you,” I return.
Bay gives a small smile and then grabs a peanut butter cookie, takes a bite of it, and then a bite of the chocolate one in her hand.
“Hey!”
“I’m so dark, but fire and brimstone,” she says, talking with the cookie bites in her mouth yet, “having them together is to die for. Try it!”
I do, and she’s right. I can’t deny that.
And just like that, things are better between us, and mostly because Bay’s a much better fairy than I am.
Two days pass before the head of the academy makes a statement that classes will resume. There are security guards everywhere, escorting fairies to class. We have a strict curfew, and we’re to eat all meals at our cottages. We have to call a guard to order our food, and it will be delivered. It makes for seeing the guys in person hard, and what’s worse is that all group projects are done. We aren’t allowed to work on anything because they don’t want fairies in the library or loitering anywhere on campus. For our safety, they claim.
It feels like we’re in a penitentiary instead of an academy.
But the worst part of it all is the whispers wherever I fly. The glances, the murmurs, the glowers, they all make me feel as if I’ve done something very wrong. Maybe it’s my guilty subconscious because I haven’t had a chance to truly apologize to the guys yet, but I feel as if everyone is judging me.
“You know who did it, don’t you?” a girl fairy murmurs to another. I’m flying behind them, on my way to Telepathy.
“Isn’t it obvious? He never should have been allowed to attend here in the first place.”
“I heard that the other guy only killed one person last year. Remember the slew of murders? And he did the rest of them and let that Thistle guy take the fall for them all.”
“That Damon guy really is a sick and twisted fairy, isn’t he?”
“As dark as they come. Why is it that the hottest fairies are always so dark?”
Before I can recover from my shock, they’re already entering their classroom. I go to follow them, to rip off their wings verbally, but the guard taking me to class, Cosmo, coughs.
“I just want to—”
“Rosemary, you’ll only make it worse for him.”
I draw up short. “Does everyone think Damon did it?” I ask desperately.
Cosmo says nothing, just draws in a deep breath.
“Do you all think he did it?” I ask.
“There’s no reason to suspect him,” Cosmo says, “but there’s no reason to suspect much of anyone. We still can’t figure out a motive. Since there’s no evidence of the murder weapon, we’re really at a loss on how to proceed, but I did not tell you that, do you hear?”
I nod dully. This is a nightmare, a living nightmare.
I go to class, but I can’t concentrate. There are whispers in class, which don’t help any, and I can’t help it. I use telepathy to get into the minds of the two girls who are whispering the most.
The walls they have to protect their thoughts are weak, crumbling, their thoughts loud and leaking out all over the place.
That half-demon has to be expelled. I don’t care if he’s guilty or not.
Don’t be naïve. Of course he’s guilty. He probably coerced that Thistle guy into committing those murders last year. He’s so dark.
Dark but dreamy.
Yeah, but I don’t know if I want to kiss him anymore. He might be able to influence us through his lips.
Through his words or his tongue.
Sickened, I pull out of their minds. Has Damon kissed either of them?
I casually look over my shoulder at them. The girls notice and purse their lips, crossing their arms, looking like twins despite their having different hair and eye colors.
As soon as the class is over, I fly over to them. "I'm so sick of people thinking Damon is the murderer just because he's part-demon. Anyone could have done it."
“Of course you would take his side,” the blond fairy says.
The redhead rolls her eyes. “Yeah. I mean, you’re from a demon-loving family, all dark and twisted. You probably wish your dad was a demon so you could be part-demon yourself.”
I gape at them, furious. “How dare you! You know nothing about me or—”
“Oh, please. Everyone sees how you fawn over those boys. You can’t just have one, can you? And your sister is no better.” The redhead buffs her nails on her low-cut shirt.
“You leave my sister out of this,” I say through gritted teeth.
“Girls,” the professor says warningly.
“Don’t worry. I was just going.” I grab my stuff and leave.
Bracken is waiting for me, and he hands me a honey cake.
“What’s this for?” I ask as we start to fly off to my next class.
“You nee
d to eat.”
“I’m not hungry.”
“Eat anyway.”
“I’m not—”
“I overheard what you were talking about,” he says.
I flinch and shove the honey cake into my mouth, so I have an excuse not to talk.
“It’s not easy being associated with darker fairies, especially considering this school is Light Fae Academy,” he says. “I had to deal with a lot of shit, and the others in my crew did too. Bay never worried about what others thought about her, only their thoughts about you. If she knew what those girls said about you, she would threaten them and somehow turn them into loyal allies.”
“Allies?” I ask, noting he didn’t say friends.
“You know, people who will do anything for her? She has a ton of allies.”
“They aren’t sticking up for her now,” I grumble.
“No. That’s the thing. Allies don’t always stick by your side when there are flames burning at your feet. Stick to those who know you, really know you, and you won’t have to hear any of that shit again.”
“Thank you, Bracken.”
He shrugs. “I think we got off on the wrong wing. You were just so uppity and uptight when we first met. I thought you were as judgmental as the others.”
“I would say that we can be friends, but then I think back on how being friends with Thistle worked out.” I flinch and drop a little lower in my flight. “Not that I think you’re anything like Thistle.”
Bracken laughs. “If you think I’m going to blow up at you for that, you’re wrong. We were all wrong about Thistle and about Spring. I’m just glad he didn’t hurt you.”
“Really?”
“I’m not a monster.”
“You’re a decent judge of character when it comes to darker fairies.”
“Maybe. I was wrong about Spring and Thistle.”
“Yes, but friendships can make things murky.”
He lifts his chin. “Who do you want to know about?”
“Damon,” I say in a rush. “I’m sure he didn’t do it, that he’s innocent. What do you think?”
“I think you’re right,” he says without hesitating.
“Do you have any guesses?”
“Not one,” he grumbles, “and I do not want to have this hanging over my head for the rest of the year.”
“I want the murderer caught as quickly as possible.”
He laughs, but the sound is a bit dark. "I'm more selfish. I want to work here for a few years and then see if I can get hired by a fairy court. Doesn't matter to me which one."
“You do?”
“Why do you seem so surprised?” he asks gruffly.
“I just thought you wouldn’t want anything to do with either fairy court, that’s all.”
“Well, they pay the best, and it’s the ceiling for a guard position. Why wouldn’t I want the very best?”
“You’ll get there.”
“Not if there are multiple murders here. First a student and now a professor…”
I gulp. “Good luck.”
“Thanks, now get to class so I can help other students. And, oh, if you decide to investigate, let me know if you have a suspect. I don’t want you or anyone else to investigate alone. It’s not safe.”
“I know that better than most,” I say sadly.
I enter my class but linger by the door to watch him fly off with another student. Who would’ve thought that Bracken was actually the good fairy out of him and Thistle? It just goes to prove that I really don’t know fairies. I don’t even know myself. Here I am, mentioning to Orchid about maybe wanting to investigate human crimes and I hadn’t bothered when humans had been murdered. It took Thistle murdering a student and harming another for me to start to investigate the deaths. I shouldn’t have waited so long. Thistle would’ve been caught earlier, and Cosmo wouldn’t have gotten hurt, Holly killed… Maybe even some of the humans would’ve been spared too.
And now, people are talking about Bay and me in a disgusting way. It's enough to make me want to fight back. If I have to hunt down the killer to try to clear our names, I will.
Chapter 19
That night, I seek out Bay in our cottage. She’s not in her room, but I, thankfully, find her in the kitchen.
“What’s up?” she asks as I give her a hug.
“We need to talk.”
“What about?” she asks lightly, completely unguarded, which throws me for a loop.
How can she be so utterly forgiving of me after what I did? She really does want to forget about the past and move onward.
“Have you heard what’s being said about us?”
“No. Why? What’s being said?” She returns her focus on her task, which is adding some honey to a dark drink.
“It’s… It’s not good.”
She eyes me cautiously. “Are people trying to claim that we had something to do with the murder?”
“No, no, they, think Damon did.” I blow out a breath.
“That’s ridiculous.”
“Right?” I shake my head.
“Here.” She hands me the glass.
“What is it?”
“Just drink,” she says eagerly.
I comply. “That’s really good. What is it?”
“Milk, chocolate, and honey. I thought about how honey makes everything better, and chocolate is pretty good by itself, why not have them together?”
“Genius.”
She giggles and makes herself a drink. We glide over to the table in the small kitchen and sit down.
I almost want to let the conversation just drop and not worry about what people are saying, but I can’t risk Bay hearing this from someone else. She’s being rather zen about it right now, but if she hears what people are saying, she might react and react badly. Right now, that’s the last thing we can have happen.
But, coward that I am, I wait until I down half of my drink to proceed.
“Bay, people are saying that we come from a demon-loving family.”
She laughs it off, doesn’t say anything at all, just laughs and laughs.
“Bay, it’s not funny. They’re saying that we’re all dark and twisted!”
“Well, we are a little, aren’t we?” she points out.
I glower at her. “A girl told me to my face that I probably wish my dad was a demon so I could be part-demon myself.”
She just waves her hand, clearly not worried in the slightest. “Let them talk. Words mean nothing. Only actions. Actions are forever.” Bay lowers her drink. “You know what else is forever? Inactions. Not acting. Waiting around. You need to hustle if you don’t want to lose those boys. Don’t think that the curfew has to mean you have to be separated from them.”
“How exactly does the curfew not mean that?” I ask skeptically.
She just winks and takes a sip.
I sigh. Just like last year, Bay’s not on campus much. Even the curfew hasn’t slowed her down much, although she is sleeping here most nights, unlike before the murder.
“I know you’ve been spending time with Zoth,” I say slowly, not wanting to set her off.
“He is my boyfriend,” she says, looking away, probably preparing herself for a fight.
“I just want to spend time with you too. Not just a drink here, a few minutes there. I want to have dinner together, just the two of us. What do you say?”
“I already ate tonight.”
“I did too. I meant tomorrow. Are you free then? I just want to talk, to catch up.”
“Tomorrow I’m busy.”
“The next day? The next?”
She shakes her head.
“There has to be an evening coming up when you aren’t busy with Zoth,” I grumble.
“What can I say? He’s a demanding lover, and if I don’t keep him satisfied, well, he just might go find someone else to satisfy those needs.”
“That’s terrible! He’s never said that to you, has he?”
“No, but that doesn’t make it any le
ss true.”
I think about Damon and those girls talking about his lips. It’s possible that they just fantasized about kissing him… or that he had kissed them in the past. I almost don’t want to know, especially if the past had been a much recent past.
“If he can’t survive a night without you—”
“He can. That’s not the question.”
“So you don’t want to spend a night away from him,” I say sadly. “Not even for me.”
“Rosemary, when you find love…” Bay drops her head. “Maybe you should just let both Damon and Sage go. If you can’t pick one, won’t pick one, maybe it’s not love tying you to either. Maybe it’s just fear of being alone. There’s nothing wrong with being alone. You know I didn’t date seriously for a long time.”
I snort. “I know you fleetingly mentioned heartbreak in passing one time, but you never told me who exactly it was that broke your heart.”
She flinches. “I would rather not talk about that.”
I nod a few times, trying not to become upset and failing miserably. "Okay. So you don't want to talk to me about your past. You don't want to talk about what else? What other topics are off the table? Zoth, I would assume, or maybe not. How did you two meet?"
“Rosemary, I don’t want your judgment,” she warns.
“I’m not judging. I’m curious. There’s a difference. And if you don’t want to talk about how you two met, then I’m curious about why. Curiosity isn’t light or dark.”
“No, but it’s prying,” she says through gritted teeth.
"Did you meet at a bar? Do you think I'll care that you were at a bar? Even if it were a demon bar. I just want to know. Not to judge, I swear. I just want to know you better. I want to know what happens when you leave and not because I want to judge you. Just because I love you, and I care."
“Oh, you’ll care all right,” she snaps. “You’ll judge me like you judged me for dealing drugs.”
“Just tell me!”
"Fine! I used to chat with guys online. We wouldn't wear clothes, and we would talk dirty, and it was just with fairies at first, but then I expanded to include other clients. A few angels even, if you can believe it. And there was something about Zoth. I was drawn to him in a way I had never been before. We started to do more video chats online, and soon, he asked me to stop doing it with other guys. I asked him to meet. Stupid maybe, but I was falling for him hard. He said okay. We set up a time and a place and everything, and… He didn't show. He broke my heart."
Light Fae Academy: Year Three Page 9