by Trina Solet
The dark silence of the countryside was always threatening to swallow up this place. But last night wasn't as bad as it could have been because Rob was there.
How long had he longed for a man to hold him just the way Rob had done? Forever?
All his life Julian did his best to keep what he felt to himself and hold himself back from people, but with Rob it all came spilling out. Of course Rob had shared with him as well. He gave him a feeling of closeness Julian had never experienced before.
As morning arrived properly, Julian was working in his room with the door open in case Danny needed him. But he was also listening for Rob. He wasn't the first one up though. Lenny wanted to go outside, so he and Danny showed up at Julian's bedroom door. Julian was ready to take them, but then Rob came out of his room freshly showered and shaved and stunning as always.
"I'll take them. You look busy," Rob said and pointed to the laptop under his arm.
"Thank you," Julian told him and tried not to remember what it felt like to be in his arms.
He wanted to go with them, but he had a videoconference to prepare for. He spent all the hours before lunchtime on that. After the conference was over, he got a follow-up call from Pete Thayer.
Barely pretending to talk business for a few minutes, Pete soon turned things more personal. "So you took that temp along with you to your little country hideaway. I guess you're more into brawn than brains," Thayer said, and Julian wasn't about to reply. He could just keep talking to himself. "You think it's a good idea to reward thuggish behavior? One of these days that might come back to bite you."
What Thayer said started out like he was giving him well-meaning advice, but ended almost like a threat. Julian had never been happier to have put some miles between him and that man. Thayer was the only one who had been thuggish. Rob had simply come to his defense. Being protective came naturally to a good man like him.
"So you took a boy toy with you so you wouldn't get lonely," Thayer said. "He must be doing a real good job if you're keeping him around and giving him room and board."
Julian ignored that and stuck to business. "I'll contact Denison about my analysis."
To Thayer, even that was an opportunity to insinuate something. "I'm sure you have all sorts of ways to persuade Denison to your way of thinking."
"I'll persuade him with numbers. I have another call I'll need to take," Julian said to him curtly.
"Of course you do." Thayer didn't believe him and Julian didn't care. He didn't owe that man even one more second of his time.
"I'll talk to you later, Pete," Julian told him and hung up. He hadn't ended that conversation soon enough because Rob came into the office and heard him.
"Pete? Don't tell me you had to take a call from Pete Thayer," Rob asked, his brow furrowed.
"I did."
"Did he have business with you or did he call you just to be an asshole?" Rob asked, still frowning deeply.
"To be a asshole," Julian had to admit.
"He better not make a habit of it," Rob said threateningly, his protective instinct on display. "You know I wouldn't have put him through."
Julian didn't blame him. "I don't doubt it," he said with a grin, his mood already improving.
"Did you sleep last night?" Rob eyed him like he already knew the answer. Did that mean Julian looked really bad while Rob looked gorgeous and radiant?
"No, I didn't sleep," Julian confessed, no point pretending otherwise. But there was a silver lining. "I did get a lot of work done."
Rob wasn't impressed with that. "That means you've been working nonstop, and on top of that, you had to deal with Thayer. That does it. You're taking a break. Do you think you can make time to go to Ashbury to shop for Halloween decorations and get some lunch?"
Julian thought about it and realized he didn't want to miss out, so he said, "OK. Let's do it."
As they went to get Danny, they stopped to talk to Rico and Mitch in the hallway. They were working on refinishing the woodwork on the stairway.
"What are you guys bringing to the potluck?" Mitch asked. There had been a lot of texting back and forth about that.
"Sam said hors d'oeuvres would be fine. I'll have a few things delivered," Julian told him.
"Delivered? That's not how a potluck works," Rico objected.
"I'm always willing to bring chips," Rob told him.
"You're one of those guys," Rico accused him, giving him a look of disgust.
"Yes, I am. I'll go get Danny ready," Rob said.
"It's enough that they're hosting the party, isn't it?" Mitch said.
"True," Rico said and smiled at his fiancé. He became so agreeable as soon as he fell under Mitch's influence. He practically melted for that man.
"We're collecting Danny so we can go Halloween shopping," Julian said as Rob brought him over, and Danny looked so happy at the news.
"What are we doing with Lenny?" Rob wondered.
"We can be your dog-sitters," Mitch volunteered.
When they explained to Danny that Lenny was staying home, he wasn't happy. "Lenny can't go?"
"We'll take good care of him," Mitch said and he got down to pet Lenny and show Danny how well they got along.
"Sammy will help us," Rico said. "We can bring her over here from preschool. She'll like that."
"Is that OK?" Mitch asked Julian.
"You can bring Sammy here any time," Julian told him.
Finding out that Sammy would be coming over reassured Danny that Lenny would be well taken care of. He got ready, and they were off.
In Ashbury, they bought a lot of decorations but nothing too scary. They got lunch at a pizza place to go. Danny and Rob got slices and Julian got a Caesar salad. That earned him a dirty look from Rob as they walked through the shopping plaza.
Sitting on the edge of a big fountain to eat, Danny finished first and then started counting the coins in the fountain. That involved counting to eleven then saying random numbers. Julian made him a paper boat out of the pizza place receipt, and Danny set it to float in the fountain.
Danny was occupied with that, leaving Rob and Julian to sit by themselves. Julian couldn't help thinking that it was almost like a date. But it wasn't. He needed to remember that. The shopping bags at their feet full of crazy decorations should have been enough of a reminder.
This was only OK because it wasn't a date. But now that he thought of it that way, his heart started beating too quickly, his hands became restless like he was dying to touch Rob, his mouth hungry for forbidden kisses and licks.
"I know we did a lot of running around, but this is restful and relaxing, right?" Rob asked, making him jump guiltily.
No, it was not relaxing to have to hold himself back from what he really wanted to be doing with Rob. But he realized that to Rob, this wasn't exactly the height of excitement. "You mean it's boring?" Julian challenged him.
Rob denied it. "No, I don't. I wanted you to get a chance to recharge since you didn't sleep last night."
"I appreciate that, but I'm all right," Julian said. He didn't want Rob to feel sorry for him or to think he was weak. Still, it wasn't a bad feeling to know that someone wanted to take care of him like this.
"Knowing you were up, I feel bad not keeping you company last night," Rob said.
The last thing Julian wanted was to keep him up too. But hearing the regret in his voice, Julian turned sideways so he could face him. "I know how it seemed last night, like I couldn't handle myself, but I'm OK. Just embarrassed that you saw me like that."
Julian should have been more than a little bit embarrassed. He should have been mortified to have Rob know that he went into a panic just because a light bulb went out. But Rob didn't judge him, just listened and did his best to understand. He really was an incredible guy. That didn't mean that Julian didn't feel bad about it. "It's such a childish fear."
"It's not. I have my own fears that come after me in the dark," Rob said. "That's why I stay up some nights. Remember that if you want co
mpany."
"Thanks," Julian said. He was touched but also uneasy at the thought of going to Rob in the middle of the night. As unseemly thoughts came to him about crawling into Rob's bed, he hurriedly looked away.
A woman pushed a stroller past them. All Julian saw of the kid inside was a small hand, but it reminded him of Danny losing his mom, being without family.
Rob noticed his brooding look. "What is it?"
"Just thinking about Danny being in foster care when he should have been with me," Julian said. "He was a complete surprise to me. My father had been gone for two years, my grandfather for even longer. I thought I had no one, and then suddenly to have a little brother."
"I bet Danny was happy when he finally met you," Rob said to him.
"If he was, he didn't show it. He was very withdrawn." Julian could still picture Danny the way he looked when he first saw him. His head down, he was curled up in on himself, arms pulled in, fists closed tight. Then Julian introduced himself. "Hi. I'm Julian. They told you about me, right. I'm your older brother."
Danny only blinked and wouldn't raise his eyes to him.
"Do you want to come visit me?" Julian asked. Child services had given permission for that while he worked on getting custody. Julian wanted him to know without a doubt that he had a big brother now and that he would be coming to live with him.
Once again, Danny didn't respond. Then he was so scared on the car ride that Julian decided they should stop. On the sidewalk, Danny covered his ears against the noise of the traffic. So that was no good either.
They happened to be in front of a sporting goods store. Julian pointed it out to Danny, took his hand and led him inside.
At first Julian was only aware of that tiny hand trembling in his own. Then he realized they were just standing there while a salesperson asked them if they were looking for anything in particular.
"No. Thank you. We'll just browse," Julian said while Danny cast his eyes down and still held onto his hand.
They wandered the store and Danny found plenty to look at. Then Julian spotted a kid sized, yellow baseball cap and pointed it out to him.
"Is that a nice hat? What do you think?" he asked Danny.
The little boy didn't say anything, but when Julian handed him the cap for a closer look, he held on to it like he didn't want to give it up. Julian would swear that his face brightened.
"Let's buy it, and you can wear it out," Julian said.
At the register, he asked the salesperson to scan it while Danny held it out to her.
"You made a very good choice," she said to him, but Danny wouldn't look up to see her smile.
At the door, he did look at Julian briefly while he put the cap on him. "You look good," Julian told him.
Going outside again, Danny seemed a little braver. He was still scared but not as much as before.
As he sat on the edge of the fountain with Rob and told him about that day, Julian had to admit, "I didn't win him over right away like you did."
"Oh, come on. You're a great big brother," Rob told him while they both watched Danny wave to the tiny paper boat as it sank under the stream of water.
"But I don't know how to lift his spirits the way you do. How to be as open with my feelings and show him how much he means to me." Julian felt like there were walls constantly rising up around him, keeping him from reaching out.
"Maybe you don't always wear your heart on your sleeve, but Danny knows you love him. I could tell he was precious to you from the first moment I saw you two together, and he knows it too," Rob assured him and briefly touched his knuckles to Julian's.
"He's been doing better all the time and especially since we came here," Julian said though his breath caught in his throat for a second at Rob's touch.
"Of course he is. With all the little friends he made and now he has a little dog too," Rob said, smiling. His green eyes were so bright and beautiful in the midday sun while he gazed at Julian steadily.
Julian couldn't believe how much stuff they got for Halloween. They arrived back at the house with the car loaded down with decorations with more of them to be delivered. An ecstatic Lenny greeted them at the door, and Danny was just as overjoyed to see the little dog.
Inside, they found a note from Mitch along with a drawing from Sammy.
Julian read it. "Mitch wrote a message from Sammy. 'Sammy says that Lenny was a very good dog, and this is a drawing of Lenny being a good dog.'"
Julian showed Danny the note and gave him the drawing that didn't look like Lenny or much of anything really, but it was very colorful. Underneath, the words 'good dog' were scrawled very badly.
"I know whose job it's going to be to put up all these decorations, right?" Julian said as he looked at them piled up next to the front door and then at Rob.
"I don't mind. And Danny will be a big help," Rob said and smiled at Danny who was still fussing over Lenny to make up for their long separation.
What would happen when Rob decided to leave? He was so wonderful. Both Danny and Julian were going to miss him terribly.
Chapter 15
When he was little, Julian never got to enjoy Halloween. He figured it was too late now, but Danny's excitement was infectious. The path to the house was lined with jack o'lanterns they planned to light when they left to go trick or treating. That time couldn't come soon enough for Danny. In his costume since lunch, he kept asking, "Is it time yet?"
While Julian was busy with his own work, Rob was taking care of getting the house ready for the Halloween dinner. He was in the living room right now. Up on a ladder, Rob was hanging tiny pumpkin lights over the living room windows. Danny was watching with a happy smile on his face and keeping Lenny out of the way.
Julian had a few things to finish up in the office, but he stopped in the doorway and just watched Rob. Whatever he did, Rob had a way of making Julian want to stare at him like he couldn't get his fill.
"How does it look?" Rob asked, stepping down from the ladder and turning the lights on.
Julian was about to answer, but Rob wasn't asking him. He hadn't even noticed Julian lurking there.
"It's good," Danny chirped and his approval was all that mattered.
"Today is going to be fun, right?" Rob told him.
"Trick or treat!" Danny said standing up in his yellow and black superhero bee costume with its striped cape that matched Lenny's.
"Uh oh. Now I have to give you candy or you'll play a trick on me," Rob said and Danny giggled.
God, watching them together was the sweetest thing. Julian didn't want to tear himself away, but he did want to do his work now and free up his schedule for this evening.
A while later, Julian was in his office when he heard Rico's noisy arrival.
"Look at you, super bee! But where's Danny?" Rico was asking as he went into the library. That's where Rob was hanging some more pumpkin lights.
"It's me, I'm Danny," Danny told him and Julian smiled to himself.
After a moment, Rico was convinced. "It is you! Wow, you must be so strong now. And Lenny is a sidekick bee. I have a surprise. You get to see it later. Wait here with Lenny, OK."
A few seconds later, Rico was coming into Julian's office carrying two big boxes. Rob was right behind him. Eyeing Rico as he set the boxes on his desk, Julian wondered if they held the surprise. "Are those decorations?" he asked.
"You wish," Rico told him enigmatically.
"So what are they?" Julian asked him.
"Don't ask, just run," Rob advised.
"Like I'd let you," Rico said and opened the boxes. Inside them were two costumes. Two truly horrible costumes. As Rico lifted the brown one, Julian saw it was Count Chocula. The other one was a pink monstrosity that Rob identified as Franken Berry.
"Those are not for us," Rob said in a horrified voice though the costumes were clearly adult sized.
"They're mostly for Danny," Rico said then he smiled meanly. "But I plan to enjoy them too. Now suit up."
"You don't r
eally expect us to wear these," Julian said as Rico pushed the Count Chocula costume toward him.
"For Danny, I do." Rico leaned over his desk to stare him down. "I know your weakness."
He wasn't wrong about that. Danny would be thrilled with these costumes, so Julian couldn't say no. But he was planning to let Rob off the hook.
"I'm going to go home and get ready, you put those on," Rico ordered them then he was out the door. Julian could hear him telling Danny to wait and they would be out there soon to show him the surprise.
Well after Rico left, Rob was still glaring after him. "I did say these guys need to make their own fun, but this is going too far."
"You don't have to wear that," Julian told him with a laugh.
Rob frowned at him. "Are you going to wear yours?"
"For Danny," was all Julian said.
"Then I'm doing it too," Rob said decisively. He picked up the pink monstrosity and shuddered.
"You really don't have to," Julian told him.
"You want to be in this alone?" Rob challenged him.
"No," Julian admitted.
Rob smiled at him. "I know it's not a job requirement, but Rico is right. Danny will get a kick out of it."
"Are you sure we won't scare him," Julian asked as he had another look at the costumes.
Rob had to laugh at that. "Not a hundred percent sure."
Julian only had a little more work to do then they got into their ridiculous costumes. When the two of them went in to show off their costumes, Danny was buzzing around the library with Lenny. Catching sight of them, he stopped and gasped then turned to Lenny. "Look," he whispered like he didn't know what to make of what he was seeing and he wanted to consult the dog.
While he huddled with Lenny, Julian approached him cautiously.
"Hi, Danny. It's us," Julian told him, but Danny was still looking at them kind of funny though the headpieces didn't cover their faces all the way. He came over to them tentatively, and Julian asked, "You want to see me?"