Crystal Lake Pack: The Complete Series: A Reverse Harem Shifter Romance

by Candace Wondrak

  Hurt. Raw sadness. I didn’t like making him feel so bad, but what else could I do? Hide it? He’d eventually find out when I left, anyway. Why bother trying to smooth over the injuries?

  “If you would’ve known,” Dylan whispered, “you wouldn’t have come.” His shoulders rose and fell once. “You were raised in human society. I get it.” Behind the rims of his glasses, the cogs in his mind worked. “Is there anything I can do to get you to reconsider? To stay for a few more days? Meet the whole pack, then decide—”

  “Dylan, I don’t know.”

  What? No! That wasn’t what I thought. I knew very much so that I had no choice but to leave. Staying for a day, sticking it out a bit longer, would not help me at all. Why the heck did I go and say that, give him false hope? I was cruel.

  He stunned me as his hand shot across the table, nearly knocking his corn dog off the plate, gripping mine. “Please,” Dylan practically begged me, “give us a chance. We’re not bad people. You can be loved and protected here. You’re one of us, Addie.”

  I stared at the hand holding mine. Maze had made a similar gesture back in my mom’s house, and just like then, my will was crumbling. Why did I feel so wishy-washy when it came to these guys? What frigging power did they have over me?

  Why did I want to give in?

  “I…” My voice came out soft, “I don’t know. I don’t know if I’ll ever feel like one of you.” I should’ve taken my hand away, because I’d just met Dylan and this seemed a bit too fast, but for some reason, I didn’t. I couldn’t.

  “Give your inner wolf a chance to come out,” Dylan pleaded. “Then you’ll know, one way or another.”

  I wasn’t so sure. “Once my…inner wolf is out, though, there’s no putting her back in.” It was a decision I definitely wasn’t ready for. Feeling his hand squeeze mine, his warmth slowly seeping from his skin into mine, I sighed. “Fine. I’ll stay a bit longer, but I really don’t want to hear any more talk of mates or anything like that. Deal?”

  The smile spreading on Dylan’s face mirrored Maze’s, different only in that his was slower. “Deal,” he said, still not letting go of my hand.

  I chuckled. “Maybe we should start by letting go?”

  “Oh, yeah. Right. Sorry,” Dylan quickly said, yanking his hand away. As he did so, he hit his book with his elbow, knocking the book to the floor for the second time. Not a coordinated one, was he?

  I held in a laugh, not wanting to embarrass him, as I bent to pick up the book. I heard him mumble something, telling me no, that he could get it, but it was too late. My fingers were already bringing the book up, my eyes already on the spine. A four-word title that made my mouth fall open was what I saw.

  “Gone with the Wind?” I asked, incredulous.

  Dylan blinked, heat creeping up his neck and swirling in his cheeks. So much for not embarrassing him. “I, uh, I read when I get bored, and I…” Nothing he said would make him feel better, I knew, so I did the only thing I could.

  I handed him the book.

  I thought about making a comment along the lines of even I’ve never read that, but I knew it would only make him feel worse, more embarrassed. And although he was cute, I didn’t want to be mean about it. So I said nothing, only smiling at him.

  I spoke once I figured out something to say that referenced his reading but not the particular book: “Does Maze read too, or just you?”

  Dylan chuckled once, a soft sound, still a bit awkward, but less so than he was a minute ago. “No. Maze doesn’t even read the instructions when putting something together.” His finger ran along the edge of the well-worn book, drawing my attention.

  I wanted to say I didn’t know anyone who read instructions religiously, but I was still stuck on the whole Gone with the Wind thing. My eyes locked with his when I asked, “Do you like romances?”

  God. A question I probably shouldn’t have asked, because it was both embarrassing and information I didn’t need to know. The more I learned about these guys, the more I might like them—and liking them was out of the question, considering I was going to leave, whether it was today, tomorrow, or whenever.

  “Is it weird if I say yes?” Dylan whispered.

  He and Maze were two peas in a pod, weren’t they? Maze had said something similar back at Sarah’s house. I would tell Dylan the same thing I’d told Maze. “No. You’re allowed to like whatever you want. It doesn’t make you weird or gay or a pussy—” I stopped, eyes widening.

  What the heck? I didn’t mean to say that word.

  “Sorry,” I was fast to correct myself. “It’s just something Maze said before.”

  Dylan only nodded. “He has a mouth on him.”

  A mouth, yes. Along with a few other things I should not have seen. Things I should be unaware of, including but not limited to how his junk looked. His junk, his butt, the musculature of his hips without any clothes covering it…

  “I’m going to take a nap,” I said. Maybe I was so exhausted I had no filter. Maybe my tiredness was the reason behind the strange way my body was reacting to these guys.

  Yeah. That had to be it.

  Chapter Ten – Addie

  I could see nothing but forest around me. Trees, towering high above me, blocking out the sky. Though I could not see it, I knew it was a dark, starry night. Clouds covered the moon, otherwise there would be more light shining through the branches. That familiar beating, the heavy breathing right behind me, in tune with my heartbeat. Just like before.

  Only this time, I could see—a bit, since it was so freaking dark, but a bit was more than nothing.

  And maybe it was because I could see, but I grew fearful. Frightened. Scared. I knew I had to run, had to escape whatever was so close to my back. Would it chase me, catch me, hurt me? I didn’t know.

  I had no idea, and it was the scariest thing of all.

  My feet took off, and I ran as fast as I could. More like a life-or-death sprint, my all put behind the pumping of my arms and the crisscrossing of my legs. If I didn’t make it, if that thing got me…I couldn’t think about it. I just had to move, to get out of the forest. If I made it out of the forest, I’d be safe. Deep down, I knew whatever it was couldn’t leave the confines of the woods.

  My legs could only take me so far though, and the thing was right behind me, tailing me expertly. It kept up with me, but did not pass me, didn’t attack me. I knew it could’ve, but I had no idea why it wasn’t finishing this. Did it enjoy the chase? Did it revel in my fear? Why didn’t the thing end it for good?

  My blood pumped through my veins at speeds I didn’t know it was capable of. I grew hot, my lungs feeling like they were about to burst. How much longer could I run? How much farther was it to the edge of the forest? Why did it feel like I ran in circles? I was getting nowhere. I was not the type to give up, but my hope continued to dwindle, like a flickering flame losing the air it needed to keep going.

  Just when I thought about possibly spinning on my heels and facing whatever chased me, the tip of my right foot caught on something. A root, a broken branch, a stone. It didn’t matter. Whatever it was, it was hard and it made me stumble.

  I was not fast or coordinated enough to catch myself before I fell into the dried-up leaves below. I landed on my arms, my face inches from touching the ground. The smell of mold and dampness entered my nostrils; not a smell I liked. Too earthy. While I loved spending time around my pond at home, this was…well, this was a bit like a nightmare.

  I felt the fall in my arms, mostly my elbows and my wrists. As I struggled to get back up, I heard the heavy breathing behind me circle around, stopping as it moved in front of me. My eyes stared hard at the dark ground, the night air blowing through my brown and pink hair like some kind of sick caress. Whereas it might’ve felt good in another time, here it felt wrong. Like one final kiss from death.

  I was measured in bringing my eyes forward, freezing as I spotted two clawed paws, covered in brown fur. Claws that could easily tear skin from bone and
innards from my stomach.

  Were those…wolf paws?

  I continued to lift my gaze, stopping only when I stared into the eyes of a four-foot-tall wolf. Shadows covered its body, but I knew its fur was brown. And its eyes, as they blinked, flashed a brilliant, bright green. A green that was both familiar and foreign. A green that made my skin clam up.

  I’d seen the color before, hundreds, thousands of times…each and every time I looked in the mirror. Those were my eyes.

  The wolf’s breathing was calm, not ragged, but it was so very loud. In and out through its opened muzzle, its long snout, the sound drowning out anything else that might’ve graced my ears. I could hear nothing, focus on nothing else besides the wolf. The wolf who currently stood before me, less than two feet away, taller than my collapsed, fallen form.

  “Why aren’t you attacking me?” I whispered. I didn’t know much, remembered even less, but I knew what a wolf did. Wild, untamed creatures. The one before me had stalked me, chased me all this time, and now that I was finally down, it wasn’t going after me. Why?

  As a response, the wolf lowered its head somewhat, though its green gaze never left mine. It took a tiny step forward, and as it did, I saw it, and my heart rose to my throat, making it hard to swallow the shock that built.

  The wolf’s head had pink stripes, just a few strands here and there. Enough to startle me. Enough to make me sit, stare at the wolf, and reach for my messy brown waves. Brown and pink hair. Just like the wolf.

  Or was the wolf like me?

  Pink and brown was definitely a strange combination of colors for a wolf, as were green eyes. The entire creature looked almost fake, but as it stood in front of me, breathing loudly, staring at me, I knew the wolf was the opposite of fake. It was real, and it was a she.

  The wolf was a female.

  And then, suddenly, strangely, it clicked. I just knew. I knew. Why didn’t I realize it sooner? The reason the wolf hadn’t attacked, why it looked so much like me—my wolf. My inner wolf.

  “You’re my wolf,” I said in a bare whisper, speaking softly, afraid if I spoke any louder, the creature would run off. But she wouldn’t, because we were one. This wolf was a part of me. “You’re me,” I added, no longer fearful of the beast, only confused.

  Why had I felt such fright at it before? The wolf would never hurt me.

  The wolf glanced back at its hind legs, and I realized the wolf was thin, smaller in places she shouldn’t be. She was hungry. When her green eyes locked with mine, I knew more: the wolf wanted to be free. The longer I waited, the weaker the wolf became.

  How much longer until the wolf simply ceased to be? Could that happen?

  I felt my heart start to ache at the mere thought of the wolf fading into oblivion. I couldn’t let it happen. This wolf, the beautiful beast before me, was a part of me. I couldn’t let her fade away. To do so would be to lose a part of myself; I wouldn’t be whole without her, even if I’d never known her until now.

  Not never known. I supposed I did, I just didn’t know she was there. But she was. The wolf had always been there, in the back of my head, locked away, kept from the world. How could I possibly deny a part of myself? How could I look into my own eyes and declare I was no shifter?

  This wolf proved it beyond a shadow of a doubt.

  I tentatively reached out a hand to the wolf’s head as I whispered, “I’m sorry.” Sorry for it all. Sorry for denying her, for trying to hide her away. Sorry for everything I had done in my life that had only hurt the wolf dwelling within me. If I’d known…maybe the creature before me wouldn’t look so malnourished and sad.

  The wolf tilted its head into my hand, closing its eyes as it leaned into me. The creature needed no apology, because we were one in the same, but I still felt like I had to say it. This wolf…after meeting me, there would be no denying her. Only a monster could sentence a beast like her to death.

  I might’ve overreacted to things, may have somehow attacked my professor with a floating book, but I was no monster.

  My will hardened. I spoke, “I won’t run from you again, girl. I promise.”

  The world around me faded into black, the wolf in my hand disappearing. The sweet arms of nothing welcomed me, and I jerked awake, eyes flying open to stare at an unfamiliar white ceiling. I lay on a bed I didn’t know, under covers that were not mine.

  It was…a dream? It felt so real, so raw. The wolf, my wolf, was the saddest-looking creature I’d ever seen, including those dogs and cats in the sad, long commercials about the animal charities and shelters. That Sarah McLachlan song was a weapon.

  I was slow to sit up, breathing in deeply, feeling my lungs fill entirely before I let the long breath out. Why did I dream of my wolf suddenly? Not once in my life before this mess did I ever dream of running through some dark forest, away from an animal. Maybe because my mind was open to it, my wolf was finally able to reveal herself? Either way, it made things more complicated. Saying no to this pack was going to be harder than I thought.

  I could always ask my mom to scratch me, to help me turn. From what I understood, it was only tradition that an alpha did it during a full moon; it didn’t need to happen during a set time, and I was ninety-nine percent sure any wolf shifter could do it. Any wolf could be the key to unlocking mine. I didn’t need this pack or their weird, controlling ways.

  But I’d promised Dylan I would stay, give them a chance. I wasn’t a liar, so I would stay for a bit.

  Speaking of which…it was high past time I called Sarah.

  I swung my legs off the bed, moving to the door, closing it and locking it—though, I thought, a wolf could probably break through a door like this in one try, so it wasn’t much of a reassurance. My fingers snaked around to my butt, grabbing my cell phone, which desperately needed a charge, I noted.

  In the next second, I had Sarah’s profile pulled up and dialed.

  Sarah picked up almost immediately. “Addie, I told you to call me right away!” Her voice was loud on the other line, and I had to hold the phone a few inches away from my ear to not lose my hearing. “What’s going on? Are they treating you right? Did something happen? Do I have to drive over there and kick everyone’s butt?”

  My mom was not much for swearing, and now was no different.

  Laughing, I said, “Nobody’s butt needs to be kicked…except maybe Henry’s. And Maze’s. Did you know I’m apparently already promised to three wolves?” It was still odd talking about wolves like they were people, but that’s what shifters were. It was something I’d have to get used to, especially if I let my inner wolf out.

  And I had to, because I wasn’t going to let my wolf die.

  “Oh, my. That’s…things must’ve gotten worse. When I was there, two was the norm.”

  That was not what I thought my mom would say. “Before you ran off with my dad, you were supposed to be with two guys?” The thought of Sarah with one guy, let alone two, made me feel grossed out. Yes, my mom had been young once, but she was my mother. It wasn’t a thought I wanted to have, like, ever.

  “No, because of the moon cycle I was born in, I was supposed to mate with the pack’s future alpha. The wolf was years younger than me, and, well. I’d already met your father when the edict came out.”

  I didn’t know how to take the news. Thinking of my mom mating with anyone—yuck. The yuckiest yuck there ever was. I had to change the subject, and I had to do it fast. “Did you ever dream of your wolf?”

  “No, honey. Can’t say that I have.”

  “So, you’ve never met her? Not once?”

  Sarah sighed into the phone. “Not once. Why? Did you?”

  “Maybe.” There was no maybe about it. Why would I have asked if I didn’t? Sarah knew it, I knew it. “She didn’t look good, Mom. She looked…really bad. Thin. Almost sick, and her eyes were sad.”

  Sarah thought on it. “I’ve never heard of that before, but I think it’s your wolf trying to talk to you. She wants out, I’d imagine, but the choice is up
to you. Don’t let anyone or anything—even your inner wolf—try to control you.”

  I picked at the hem of my jacket with my free hand. “Do you need an alpha’s scratch to let the wolf out? If I came home, could you do it?” My voice grew quiet. Wolves had super good hearing apparently, and I didn’t want Dylan or anyone else who might’ve wandered into the house to overhear.

  Just because I’d said I would give it a few more days didn’t mean I’d change my mind.

  “I…suppose I could,” Sarah said. There was silence on both ends of the line. A heavy silence. I didn’t want to stay in the pack, but I wanted my wolf free. If I went back to her, relied on her to help get the wolf out, what if it wasn’t enough?

  What if Sarah’s wolf was weaker than mine since she’d been locked up for so long?

  What if I went home and Mom’s wolf wasn’t enough?

  I did not want to sentence my inner wolf to die, not after seeing her, meeting her. Not after gazing into those eyes—my eyes—and seeing how depressed she was. I wasn’t sure if it was a chance I was willing to take.

  Ugh. Why couldn’t things be easier? Why were things so hard and complicated? I did much better when situations were straightforward, when there was no question about results. Grey areas were not my forte.

  “Addie,” Sarah spoke softly, “I won’t be mad if you choose the pack. If your wolf wants out…it’s a decision only you can make. All I ask is that you choose carefully, because once she’s out, she’ll always want to be out. It will be hard to keep her caged inside.”

  “But you did it.”

  “I had your father. He was a great distraction.”

  “Okay, ew.”

  My mom chuckled. “Whatever you’re thinking, I didn’t mean it like that. I think those wolves up in Crystal Lake have your brain addled.”

  “They do not.”

  “Oh, no? So you don’t have feelings for any of them? Even that Maze boy? You seemed to stare at him quite a lot when—”

  I wanted to end this conversation now. “Mom!”