Memory Walker

by Carly Marino

  A loud crack rang from behind me, and the Resparé flickered into his human shape. Still in her shadow form, Nora pounced on him. He knocked backward, screamed, and writhed. His skin shriveled, his eyes plunged into his skull, and blood dripped from his ears.

  I clenched my eyes shut until I heard the particles of dust brush the floor.

  “Asshole,” Nora muttered. “You all right, luv?”

  “Nora, you—”

  Aunt Karen coughed. Her breath sawed in and out and I peered at her. Bile burned in my esophagus. She was skeletal. Her skin had sunken in and wrinkled. Russet-colored eyes that always sparkled appeared dull and lifeless. A strong decaying odor wafted from her mouth. She raised a crooked finger as if arthritis had stiffened the bone.

  With shaking hands, I held hers. They were freezing.

  No. This isn’t happening.

  She tried to sit up but slumped. “Thea, you should go. They”—she hacked—“they’re going to kill you.”

  “We’ll leave together.” I moved a wiry strand of hair from her pale cheek.

  Tears trickled along the sides of her face. “Just go.”

  Nora cleared her throat. “Thea, she’s right. We need to—”

  I snapped my gaze at Nora. “Then fix this. There has to be a way.” I cradled Aunt Karen in my lap as drops of sadness trailed my jaw. “You’ll be okay.”

  Aunt Karen tried to speak but her voice croaked.

  I shushed her and glared at Nora. “Do something.”

  “I—I can’t. The Resparé—”

  I growled. “Then get out.”

  Aunt Karen wheezed. I hugged her, dropped my mask, and dove into her memories to search for a way to save her life.

  Her past flooded into me. Not the false memories Mnemosyne and my parents created, but the real ones.

  Joy sparked in my aunt’s eyes when Thea’s real mom handed her the baby. Thea’s mom had my cheekbones and blonde hair. Her father and Aunt Karen shared my eye shape and nose.

  We fast forwarded to Thea’s sixth birthday. Her parents carried wrapped gifts, their smiles beaming with pride and excitement. Aunt Karen pulled Thea aside and clasped a chain around her wrist.

  Thea studied the charmless bracelet. Aunt Karen hugged her and explained they would take a trip every year and bring back a charm as a memory.

  We still did that. Despite my family stealing her memories. She held onto that tradition.

  The memories twisted, years later. Aunt Karen opened the door. Two male cops stood outside with blank expressions. They told her about the car accident. Thea and her parents had a head-on collision with a drunk driver. They died on impact. Aunt Karen collapsed to the ground screaming.

  The images melted like rain.

  Mnemosyne and my biological parents, the ones from the photograph I had in my room, stood at the door. The bright sunshine haloed around my grandmother’s wild hair. She glided in and took Aunt Karen into her arms. Aunt Karen cried to this stranger, providing her comfort. When she let go, a wave of hope and love rushed in.

  I ran to her.

  I remembered that day. Not my parents, or Mnemosyne. But that specific moment. It was May. The day before my freak out with Matt. They’d altered my memory to think I’d came home from a school trip. From that second on, I became Thea Scott. Lyra was gone and right now, I never wanted her back. I hated her. Hated what she did to my life and my family.

  A sob zipped me to the present.

  Aunt Karen wheezed her final breath, and blood dripped from her nose and mouth. “No, no, no,” I screamed. “Wake up, Aunt Karen. Please. Please, wake up.”

  Her fingertips dissolved to dust, and the particles ate their way up her limbs. She disintegrated piece by piece until ash covered my hands and thighs. I tightened my grasp, holding all I had left of her.

  Wails of heartbreak I never knew possible belted from my mouth. My limbs quivered. I couldn’t breathe. I felt as though my throat had caved into my chest.

  “Aunt Karen,” I shrieked. “No.”

  Nora’s hand touched my shoulder, and I shrugged her off. “Get away from me. Leave me alone.”

  I sobbed and cursed, crying for the only mother I’d ever known, until exhaustion set in. I loved her with all my heart. Sickness tightened my stomach.

  I was now alone. Why had Ethan done this to us? He murdered my aunt by bringing that Resparé into my house. Aunt Karen trusted him. She let him in. Probably ran for her life. I gritted my teeth. I wanted to hurt him how he hurt us.

  Tremors shot down my spine. I hopped up, shoved past Nora, and towered over Ethan. His chest rose and fell with his soft breathing. I nudged him with my foot.

  He groaned, and his eyes fluttered open. “What … what happened?”

  I furrowed my brows. My hands clenched and unclenched. “How could you?”

  His eyes widened. “What, what are you—”

  A guttural sound rattled my throat, and I directed my palms at him. Fire ignited down my arms as blue light sparked between my fingers.

  Nora reached out. “What are you doing?”

  “He brought that Resparé here. He killed her.”

  Ethan lifted to his elbows, his biceps trembling. He was weak. My forearms quivered, wavering my hands, and my light snapped in and out. I didn’t want to hurt him but I’d lost so much.

  “Thea, listen to me. He didn’t do this. That Resparé must’ve altered his memory, somehow. I’m not sure how, but he did something. Killing Ethan won’t change anything. He’s your best friend.” She stretched out her arm. “For a human, he’s an okay bloke.”

  My hands shook and lowered. I gritted my teeth, tears stinging my eyes, and I raised them again. “Someone needs to pay for this.”

  “And someone will. This isn’t who you are. Don’t do this.”

  She was right. Ethan wasn’t to blame for what had happened. The only person to blame … was me. My light extinguished as my arms drooped to my sides. Ethan exhaled and fell back onto the floor. “I have no idea—”

  “Not now, luv.” Nora drew me into her arms. “It’s okay. Let it out.”

  I cradled my face in my hands and cried. She held me tightly to her chest, stroking my hair, whispering comforting words.

  I choked out sobs. “I did this. What I am. I killed her. ”

  “You didn’t.” She rubbed my back.

  I sniffled, shifted from her, and wiped my eyes. She’d never understand.

  Ethan groaned and clutched his head.

  I kneeled beside him.

  “Did I … your aunt … Thea”—his eyes watered—“I’m … I…”

  “I know,” I whispered.

  I rested my palms on either side of his temples and entered his mind. Darkness surrounded me. No sounds, smells, feelings. Nothing but a blank space, void of thought or emotion.

  I spun, searching for a flash of some kind, a face, anything. A dim speckle lit the far edge of the abyss. I walked toward it, my footfalls silent.

  The soft glow brightened, pulsing, darkening to a deep blue.

  Zaffre.

  Still … nothing.

  Noise, maybe laughter or yelling, and banging as if something or someone was trapped behind the zaffre-blue orb. The sounds were muffled, trapped. I wasn’t sure.

  My own voice echoed from inside. “See you in the auditorium, Ethan.”

  Zaps of electricity shot from the sphere and slammed into my chest. I flew backward, sucked into a vortex and thrown from Ethan’s mind.

  I gasped, coughed, wheezed, my hand clutching my forehead.

  “Thea, you all right?”

  I glanced at Nora. “There’s some kind of block on his mind. I can’t get into his memories. They’re trapped.”

  “A block?”

  Ethan’s shoulders sagged. “Am I dead?”

  “No. You’re safe.”

  His head tilted, studying me. Really studying me. He touched a strand of my hair. “How are you here? You—you died in that car accident.”

&nb
sp; “What accident? What’s the last thing you remember?” I bit my lip.

  He massaged his forehead. “Your parents died at the scene, and you were in the hospital for a while. You … died.”

  “And then?”

  Ethan covered his face. “Nothing, just … this, now.”

  The story Mnemosyne built in his mind had broken, but a Resparé managed to cage his memories from the accident until now. I couldn’t send him home in this condition. Not to mention, Wynter was missing. He could be next on their list. I exhaled and touched his temples. “You’re going to be okay.”

  Colors swirled around me like a tornado. Faster and faster until flecks of rainbow sand trickled onto the ground.

  Time froze.

  Okay. Just … go.

  In my mind, Ethan rose, scurried down the stairs, and out the front door. I led him down the block, past Wynter’s house, and into the back seat of Nora’s car. Sleep until I wake you.

  I dropped my hands. Ethan’s irises and pupils faded to white. He stood up and marched from the room. His footsteps tapped, and the door slammed shut.

  “How did you…” Nora gasped. “You’re a… But how?”

  I strode out of Aunt Karen’s bedroom, down the hall, and into my room. An explanation would take too much time, and time I didn’t have. I tossed my backpack on the bed and shoved clothes inside.

  “What are you doing?” Nora asked.

  I yanked my dresser drawer open and found the picture of my parents. Sniffling, I tore the photo in half and threw it in the garbage. “I can’t stay here.”

  “Where are you going?” she demanded.

  “I don’t know yet. But I do know that Wynter’s missing.” My voice cracked. I couldn’t take another loss. Wynter had escaped. She was strong, confident, and would never allow them to take her or … I gulped. “And Ethan can’t access his memories. So we’re getting as far away from here as possible. It isn’t safe … for any of us.” The crystal dangling from my window glinted in the lamp light. I brushed by Nora, yanked it down, and tossed it into my bag.

  “You can’t just leave.” Nora shook her head. “I’m sorry about your aunt. I truly am, but”—she sighed—“I need your help.”

  I laughed. “You need my help? I thought you didn’t want anything to do with me?”

  “What about Cole? Are you just going to leave him? Let him die?”

  “He left me. He stole my bracelet and gave it to the enemy. He’s on his own.”

  “We don’t have time for this shit. Who cares about some stupid bracelet?”

  Tears dampened my cheeks, again. “That bracelet is all I—”

  “He has Logan.” Nora’s eyes turned down. “Larc has Logan.”

  I studied her face. Her fear. She cared for Logan much more than I thought. “How?”

  “Logan heard something shortly after you and Drake went to the gazebo, and he went to check it out. When he didn’t come back, I looked after him.” She glanced away. “I started into the basement stairs, and then I heard fighting. Larc’s in that house, Thea. He’s been there the whole bloody time, and we had no idea.”

  I frowned and sat on the edge of my bed. Ash soiled my jeans and dirt covered my palms. I brushed my hands on my thighs and dust motes floated to the floor. Pieces of Aunt Karen floated to the floor. “I can’t do this, Nora.” I whimpered. “I couldn’t save my aunt. I’m not strong enough.”

  “You can, and you are. I’ve read your emotions. Your heart is stronger than anyone I’ve ever felt—human or Inflexaen. You’re mourning, and afraid.” Nora sat beside me. “Drop your mask, Thea. Let me help you.”

  “You aren’t taking my grief. I don’t want to be numb to this.”

  “My brother, Cole, and Logan might die. Please, I’m begging you.” Tears leaked onto her warm-brown skin. Swelling she’d earned from saving my life puffed around her right eye. She held out her hands. “They’re my family.”

  I bowed my head. How could I deny her a chance to rescue her family? At the end of the day, I couldn’t let Cole die. He left me, but I still cared for him. Maybe I even loved him. I’d never know if I let him die.

  “Can I get my grief back? My aunt deserves to be mourned.”

  She bobbed her head. “I can manipulate your emotions to feel grief, yes.”

  I grabbed her hand.

  Sorrow drained from my heart as peace pumped into my chest. Nausea and dread no longer weighed on me, and my anger toward the world dissolved. I felt calm and content. But my love for Aunt Karen still lingered inside, strong as ever.

  Nora released me and wiped the tears from beneath her eyes. “What? I cry too, you know.” She squeezed my arm. “Sorry, luv. Your emotions … I’m so sorry for your loss. You truly loved your human.”

  “I do.”

  Nora sniffled. “Ready?”

  I threw my bag over my shoulder and trekked into the hallway. Before going down the stairs, I glimpsed in Aunt Karen’s bedroom. The door hung from the hinges, and a crack spliced the middle like someone had kicked it in. I thought of how terrified Aunt Karen must’ve been. The pain she had while the Resparé drained her.

  “I won’t let them get away with this, Aunt Karen. I promise.”

  Nothing mattered, anymore. I wanted justice. I wanted what was taken from me.

  I wanted Larc dead.

  Chapter Twenty-Five

  Halfway down the driveway to the beach house, Nora cut the engine. We got out of the car and nudged our doors closed. The moon had set, leaving the gas lanterns lining the road as the only light. Their flames flickered in the darkness.

  I searched the wooded area on either side for Resparés or animals. Leaves whispered in the cool coastal breeze and I hugged tighter to my jacket, teeth chattering and arms shivering.

  Nora’s trunk popped, and she disappeared. “Here.” She returned with a winter hat.

  I braided my hair to the side and then pulled it onto my head. “Let’s go.”

  Nora motioned to the back seat. “What are we going to do about him?”

  Ethan lay asleep in the back, his temple resting against the window.

  I shrugged. “He’ll sleep until morning. Hopefully we’re back by then.” If we live. I swallowed. “Cole taught me to use my light. We can blast whoever is guarding the door and—”

  “You’re a Roamer.” Nora hadn’t budged. She leaned against the side of the car. “Well, are you?”

  We hadn’t spoken on the ride here. I’d expected questions and demands to pour out of her mouth, but they hadn’t. Maybe her fear kept the pin in her lips. Too bad it didn’t stay there.

  “Yeah. Human, Roamer, Inflexaen. It’s still sinking in for me too. We can talk about it later.” I crept down the driveway and every crack or rustle in the woods made me tense.

  Nora caught up to me. “Your light charge is unpredictable. From what I’ve read, if you’re really a Roamer, your light is directly linked to your emotions. I don’t know why that is, but now I understand why your emotions are godawful.”

  I gave her a side-long glance. “Good thing you took all my emotions.” She was right. All the times I’d used my light, I’d experienced an intense emotion. When I feared for my life, I’d singed the grass in field and tossed the Resparé woman on the beach. Although, I’d been terrified at Homecoming and my light had failed me. Maybe fear wasn’t the case. I could’ve reacted on instinct and fear actually hindered me somehow. The only other time I’d used my light was with Cole.

  Cole. Making our light glow together had been so easy. Was it his and Lyra’s connection burning between us, or his and mine? Did we even have one? Was it the same thing?

  “I didn’t take all of them,” she mumbled.

  Nora and I reached the lawn. If we stepped any further, the glow from the windows would have given us away. She yanked on my arm and I crouched into the ditch between the pavement and the woods. We huddled. Resparés now guarded the beach house. Two flanked the front door, and two paced the side entrance nearest
to the ocean.

  “How are we going to get in?” I hissed. “I can’t morph to a shadow.”

  “I know.” She pointed to the tower I’d admired earlier. “That’s the stairs to the basement. I think we should split up. I’ll distract them while you head down there.”

  I heard the hesitation in her voice. She’d never admit it, but she was scared. “Nora, that’s a stupid idea. We should stick together.”

  She raised up. “Where the hell is my brother?”

  I blinked. “In on it.”

  Her eyes met mine. “What? No way. My brother would never side with—”

  “Shhh!” I pulled on her arm. “I read him before I left. He’s the reason Holden asked me to homecoming. Probably to keep Cole from going to the dance so they could capture me. He knew Larc was in that house. I saw him listening in the stairway.”

  “That doesn’t prove anything. Drake might be a total wanker, but he’d never betray me. I’m his family.”

  “What about when he was a kid? He spent time with Larc. Did you know about that?”

  Nora wrapped her hair into a bun and sighed. “I guess he did hang out with Larc and his sister quite often.”

  “Larc has a sister?” I recapped Drake’s memory. “The old lady is Larc’s sister? Didn’t see that coming.”

  One Resparé in the front lawn lit his hand and it shone in our direction. We slinked deeper into the woods. Leaves crackled under my knees as I shifted. His beam grazed feet from our hiding place, and I held my breath.

  Nora waved to trail her. “She’s Larc’s twin, hardly old.”

  “Either way, she looked creepy in his memory.”

  She lifted a branch for me to duck under. “Yeah, I never liked her. Cole used to call her Mum, and that freaked me out.”

  “Really? She helped raise him so I guess it makes sense.” Wait. Had she been the woman in the closet—the woman Larc had killed? Why would he kill his own sister?

  We hunkered down and light dipped into the trench. A cloud puffed from my lips with my exhalation. “They’re getting closer.”

  “I’ll distract them. You run around the back. There’s a door next to the stairway. You can use your light to break the lock.”