Checking Out- The Complete Trilogy

by T W M Ashford

  ‘Wait a second,’ I said, pushing myself up into a sitting position. ‘Where’s the wreckage? How on Earth did we get here?’

  ‘Woah there, George. Stay calm. Everything’s fine. Well, we’ve lost our one way of getting into the Space Between Worlds and putting everything right so everything is most certainly not fine, but…’

  ‘We should get moving.’ I tried getting to my feet, but I slipped on the wet stones and landed on my ribs. ‘Argh. Whoever brought us here could be back at any second.’

  ‘What, them?’ said Pierre, nodding towards the space behind me.

  I spun around on my bed of straw, expecting some hulking, armoured alien beast to be lurching towards me. What I saw shocked me even more. A trio of small pink faces with wide, curious eyes and brown hair that fell in messy ringlets, peering out at us from behind another mossy wall of rock. As my own eyes grew wide with surprise they scarpered back into the depths of the cave.

  ‘Pierre, they were…’ I spun back around and glared at him. ‘They were human, weren’t they? Where are we?’

  Pierre sighed. ‘Can you walk?’

  ‘What? Erm, I think so. Why?’

  ‘It might be easier to show you.’

  Pierre helped me to my feet, which was a rougher ordeal than I anticipated. I must still have been in shock from the crash. The knee on one of my trouser legs was split open and my shoes looked as if someone had polished them with sandpaper. With my arm around Pierre’s shoulders we set off into the caves. It didn’t feel like a very safe move, but I suppose there weren’t many other moves we could make.

  My heart caught in my throat as soon as we rounded the first corner.

  A dozen humans sat huddled together, dressed in furs. There were men and women, there were children, there were grandparents; all of them with mud and fear upon their faces. The adults pulled the young ones behind them as we approached, but the oldest of the women surprised me by taking a step towards us. She spoke calm words to Pierre, though I doubted he could understand them any better than I did.

  I looked around at these people’s home. There was a rug on the floor where they’d been sitting; it was bear skin, the head still intact. Freshly skinned rabbits were hanging from stalactites where the air was cooler. There were sticks impaled into the earth; scavenged pieces of metal armour hung from them, making them resemble macabre scarecrows. Primitive spears and bows were leant against the wall beside them. Light crept in through the mouth of the cave, which was further ahead. A pile of ash sat within a ring of stones towards the entrance. It must have housed fires come the nights.

  I tried smiling at one of the children, who can’t have been older than four, but he hid his face behind his father’s back. His father did not smile back.

  Pierre made a simple motion of pointing at first his eyes and then the mouth of the cave. ‘We just want to take a look.’

  The old woman shook her head, more concerned than angry.

  Pierre patted his heart then pointed to the ground, then repeated his original gesture. ‘We won’t leave. We just want to take a look.’

  The old woman paused, looked at me, and then nodded. Much to my surprise, she was walked with us to the entrance. Even with a hunched back and a knotted walking stick she made lighter work of the short distance than Pierre or I could.

  A cool but pleasant breeze wafted into the cave as we approached its end, and the light turned first from white to colour, and then from colour to shapes… shapes I found hard to believe.

  ‘Oh my God,’ I whispered.

  I was looking out at a world with two disparate identities. To the right were rolling hills of lush grass and rocky outcrops - specks of grey and white. Forests rose up like an ocean shore, starting shallow and sparse and growing so deep you could drown in them. Birds called out to one another as they crossed over the clouds above. But to the left grew a forest of an altogether different sort. Great towers of shimmering blue glass and chrome rose up and through those same clouds, glinting in the bright sunlight. Shuttles orbited them like electrons around a nucleus, and a familiar-looking battleship hovered above its outskirts like a small and angry moon.

  But it was the real moon that gave the game away, peeking through the peaceful blue of the sky. Small, grey. A familiar face. This wasn’t just a planet similar to my own; this planet was my own. This was Earth.

  ‘What have the Torri-Tau done to the place?’ I asked, flabbergasted.

  ‘Reshaped our planet in their own image,’ replied Pierre. He shook his head. ‘Take any of the great empires of the human race. The Egyptians, the Mesopotamians, the Chinese dynasties, the Greeks and the Romans. Hell, the British Empire. Any of them. They never happened. Or never will happen. It’s impossible to tell if we’re far in the future or the past anymore.’

  He tipped his head in the direction of our wrinkly escort.

  ‘All I can tell is the human race never got the chance to develop much past the Stone Age. It’s better than nothing, I suppose. When I saw London getting replaced bit by bit, I assumed we’d been made extinct.’

  ‘Well, this isn’t good.’

  ‘Nope. And it’s probably only a matter of time before the multiverse catches up with us and rewrites us out of existence too.’

  We stood in silence for a moment, soaking the new reality in.

  ‘They’ve done a better job with the planet than we ever did, to be fair,’ I said, nursing my arm. I smiled at the old woman. ‘I assume these people found us when we crashed.’

  ‘Hmm? Oh, yes. Can you see the smoke over there? Past the tree-line.’

  I looked as far to the right as the hillsides would allow. Just over the top of the highest mound, above the dense tree canopies, was a thin, dark, rising plume of smoke.

  ‘That’s where we, erm, landed,’ said Pierre, pinching the bridge of his nose. ‘The impact threw us clear of the wreckage. We’re lucky we weren’t both killed. Huh. Lucky. I was conscious for long enough to see you were still in one piece, but I couldn’t get up. Next thing I know I’m being dragged through the grass by our friends back there. God knows what they thought was happening.’

  ‘Same here. I thought I was in the afterlife or something.’

  ‘Well, it’s a good thing they came. There’s no way the Torri-Tau didn’t see us tearing through the sky like a bloody asteroid. The crash site is probably crawling with their soldiers. Not that it really matters, even if they know it was us. We failed. We didn’t get into the Space Between Worlds, and that’s that.’

  Pierre wandered back into the cave, and the old woman followed. I went to say something, but what would have been the point? He was right. There was no putting the multiverse right, not anymore.

  I lingered in the mouth of the cave a few seconds longer before a cold wind encouraged me to venture back into shelter. Something along the inside wall stopped me short.

  ‘Pierre?’ I called out into the cave. He turned around, tired. ‘Come take a look at this.’

  He trudged back to where I stood, not in a mood to do much but mope. ‘Take a look at what?’

  I pointed to the cave paintings on the wall. They were crude but clear… and fresh, in striking reds and blues.

  ‘Yes, they’re beautiful works of art,’ Pierre sighed. ‘What about them, George?’

  ‘Don’t be like that. Try again. What does that look like to you?’

  Etched across the stone in simple strokes was a red square, and from out that square walked three rudimentary figures. They were coloured completely blue. And ahead of those figures were three tall, thin, upright streaks, also blue.

  I watched with hope as Pierre’s eyes grew wide.

  ‘This is the door,’ he said. His voice was low, weighed down with awe and anticipation. ‘This is the door the Torri-Tau came through when they first occupied this world. There they are, right there, walking through it. Hey, you. Yes, you.’

  He waved erratically at the old woman, who came hobbling back our way. Behind her the rest of
her family still cowered away from us, arms around one another.

  ‘Did you see this?’ he asked her, pointing to his eyes and then to the image of the Torri-Tau marching through the door. ‘Did you see this happen?’

  She placed her hand on her heart and said something we couldn’t understand.

  I shrugged. ‘I think that’s a yes?’

  ‘These lines,’ continued Pierre, pointing at the three thin streaks of paint and then out the mouth of the cave. ‘Do they represent the skyscrapers out there? They do, don’t they?’

  She tapped her heart and then pointed outside, just as Pierre had done. Then suddenly she was throwing her hands to the ground, only to raise them back up to the ceiling, over and over again.

  ‘You saw them build everything?’ I asked. She couldn’t have understood English - especially given that England never did and likely never would exist - but she stopped her gestures all the same. Her eyes were old and sad. I’m not surprised. To see aliens arrive on her doorstep and start tearing up the world she knew must have been terrifying.

  ‘Of course, of course,’ said Pierre, pacing back and forth. ‘It makes sense now. It makes perfect sense.’

  ‘Erm, does it?’

  ‘Of course it does! The octowürm stole a door from Le Petit Monde so that the Torri-Tau could escape the Space Between Worlds, right? But she must have stolen another door from the hotel - a door for them to come through on the other side. Think about it: why would they have wanted to escape to what we consider the modern day, when everything before that point would have stayed the same? That’s just making more work for themselves! They must have got Doxy to set up a door as far back in time as she could. The simple act of arriving here changed everything that came after it…’

  ‘Erm, okay? But why would they choose Earth of all places?’

  ‘Because the door came from Earth, of course! Not just that: the same Earth! The wavelengths had to match otherwise they wouldn’t have known where they were going. No wonder she was making a note of all those door numbers…’

  ‘So you’re saying the city over there is where the Torri-Tau came out when they escaped from the prison?’ I asked, keeping up with Pierre’s rambling with all the success of a paraplegic trying to ride a bicycle. ‘All of them?’

  ‘Yes,’ said Pierre, grabbing hold of my arms and beaming into my face. ‘All of them. And that means the door is down in that city too. A door that might lead us straight back to the Space Between Worlds.’

  ‘A door that…? Jesus Christ, Pierre. Even if what you’re saying is true, how do you know the door is still there? Or that you’ll be able to decipher its… whatchamacallits… wavelengths correctly?’

  ‘I’ll be able to do it,’ said Pierre, nodding confidently. ‘I know I can. I just know. And of course the door’s still down there. If you’d escaped through it, would you throw it into a shredder? No. You’d build a shrine around it, that’s what you’d do.’

  I threw my hands into the air. ‘Say you’re right. Say you’re right about everything. None of it matters. A Torri-Tau battleship just hunted us down and blew us out of a cosmic fissure. Do you really think they’re not going to notice us if we stroll right into their flagship city?’

  ‘So what? Maybe we’ll be killed if we go down there, but we’ll definitely die if we sit in this cave and do nothing. I’d rather die trying.’

  ‘Sure. But between possible torture and being painlessly erased from existence, I know which one I’d choose.’

  Another silence fell. Even the old cavewoman looked awkward as she shuffled away again. Pierre scratched the back of his neck and looked around the cave, shaking his head. He froze on the spot as his eyes fell upon the makeshift scarecrows.

  ‘Now, don’t get too worked up,’ he said, turning back to face me, ‘but I think I have another plan.'

  Chapter Fourteen

  This was ridiculous. Utterly, utterly ridiculous. I couldn’t believe that with everything we’d been through since reuniting at the bar in Port Iridium, this was the most stupid plan yet.

  Pierre and I were walking down the wooded hills towards the outskirts of the city, dressed in the Torri-Tau armour we’d “borrowed” from the cave people. They hadn’t objected to us dismantling their scarecrows - in fact, they were eager to see us put them on. We must have looked to them like gods that had crashed down from the heavens. I wish they could have told me how they came about having the armour in the first place. I assumed they’d ambushed a wayward patrol at some point.

  Still, it was nice to be rambling through the countryside again. Crisp leaves cracking underfoot, crisp air in my tired, aching lungs.

  ‘It’s not the weight that bothers me the most,’ I said, rearranging my blue chest plate for what must have been the thirteenth time. ‘It’s how poorly the armour fits me. I can’t bend my elbows or knees properly and my shoulders keep nudging my helmet up.’

  ‘Take it off then,’ said Pierre, walking the way a cat does when it’s been dressed up and doesn’t know what to do with its limbs. ‘See how far you get without it.’

  He had a point. As uncomfortable as the ramshackle sets of armour were, they went quite some way in disguising our true identities as rebels against the Torri-Tau cause. Our arms and legs were already covered by our jackets and trousers, and our feet by our shoes. The helmets covered all but a sliver of our faces; there was just enough of a gap, about one inch by four, for us to peek through. The only parts of our noticeably not-blue bodies that weren’t disguised were our pasty white hands, but our pockets solved that problem… for now.

  ‘Aren’t we… erm… a little short to be Torri-Tau?’ I asked.

  ‘Do you stop and notice every short person you walk past?’

  ‘Good point.’

  The trees started to grow thin and the grass grew drier. We were much closer to the city now. I could hear the hum of their shuttles and the rattling of construction as chrome girders were winched up the sides of skyscrapers. The nearer we got, the more silent the wildlife became. We crouched down behind a fruit-bearing bush and considered our approach.

  ‘The city’s a hell of a lot smaller up close,’ said Pierre, using his hand to shield his eyes from the midday sun. ‘They’ve definitely concentrated on growing it upwards rather than outwards. It’s hardly any bigger than a city block. That should make things a little easier.’

  ‘How so?’

  ‘The door was here before any of the buildings were built, so it should be on the ground floor somewhere. We’ve just got to find out whether it’s on display in the middle of the town square, or if it’s in one of these buildings.’

  ‘Yeah, we “just” have to do that.’ I lifted my helmet up so I could see better. ‘There don’t seem to be many guards around, at least. Just one or two dotted about.’

  There wasn’t a great deal in the way of anyone, thinking about it. Down on streets that went no further than the modest boundaries of the city, men and women frequented the single grocery store, all of them with skin the same azure blue, all of them wearing fine outfits a far cry from the robes and rags Pierre had described before. Children ran and laughed in the playground of the city’s only school. Through the windows of the building closest to us, I could make out the shapes and shadows of people working at desks. But it all reminded me of a model village. Nine out of ten buildings looked empty. It was like they were trying to recapture what they once had, but were going about it all too quickly. Faking it before they could make it.

  ‘Guards are probably out securing the local area,’ whispered Pierre. ‘Or off in those battleships, colonising other worlds and universes. God, they must be spread thin. I doubt they see much point in guarding a city when there aren’t any real threats to speak of yet.’

  ‘Aside from our ship crashing through the sky, you mean?’ I looked over my shoulder at the distant plume of smoke. ‘I imagine they’re still out looking for survivors. Wait. What’s going on down there?’

  A shuttle came
gliding down from the battleship and parked on the edge of town, spraying the pavement with the white steam of its descending thrusters. The door on the side slid open and a well-dressed member of the Torri-Tau species strolled out, holding a clipboard. A crowd of assorted aliens wandered out after him, gossiping and staring around in excitement.

  ‘I don’t know…’ said Pierre, squinting. ‘Is that some sort of political delegation? Or a tour group, or something?’

  I tried and failed to scratch my nose. ‘Seems like the Torri-Tau really want the new multiverse to know they’re Top Dog. I guess I can see why this would be a popular tourist destination. “Come see where your New World Order began.” It has a sort of macabre appeal.’

  ‘You thinking what I’m thinking?’

  ‘For once, I think I actually am.’

  ‘Ladies and gentlemen,’ announced the guide, shooting everyone his friendliest grin. ‘If you’d like to follow me, your all-access tour is about to begin. I hope you’re looking forward to exploring New Norwich - the birthplace of civilisation!’

  He craned his blue neck and the brow above his black eyes grew furrowed.

  ‘It appears we have a couple of servicemen joining us today,’ he said. Everyone in the group turned around. ‘I wasn’t informed of any extra attendees. Everything’s alright, isn’t it?’

  One of the armoured guards raised his hand… before quickly stuffing it back into his pocket.

  ‘Oh, good,’ sighed the guide. ‘The more the merrier, eh? On with the tour!’

  ‘Christ, that was close,’ Pierre whispered to me. ‘Whatever you do, don’t say a word to anyone. Except me, of course. Their voices are the flashy grand pianos to our out-of-tune violins. We’d give the game away in a second.’

  ‘I can’t believe nobody’s worked it out already. Your bloody sleeve is hanging off.’

  We were escorted around the corner and along what was supposed to be the city’s Main Street. There were lamp posts of Victorian design, only with blue orbs on their end instead of the more traditional lanterns. The streets and pavements looked like they’d been lifted straight from 1950s Americana. Every other store had either a wooden sandwich board out the front or an awning stretching over our heads. I mostly kept my head down in case I made eye contact with anyone, but through the visor of my helmet I noticed happy shopkeepers waving at our group as we walked past their windows. Often there weren’t any actual customers inside their stores.