Fall For Me Again

by Ali Parker

  “I’m listening, Dad. Lay it on me.”

  My father shifted in his seat. “Don’t get involved with her. This is business now, Dallas. You need to keep things professional and set some boundaries. Not only are you now working together, but you’re technically her boss. Things like that never end well. You understand?”

  “That’s not something you need to worry about.”

  My father nodded. “Good. I’m glad.”

  I sighed. “Yeah.”

  Chapter 36

  Elise

  After Dallas and Roy drove off, I stood in front of my parents’ garage door staring after their tail lights. I wasn’t sure why, but a small part of me was hoping he would stop, back up, and change his mind. Maybe he would come back inside, and our stupid spat would be forgotten. Left behind. Brushed under the rug.

  Why did I want that so badly?

  My insides were squirming, and I knew the feeling all too well: guilt. I knew what had happened in the house had been my fault, but I wasn’t quite sure where I went wrong.

  How had everything gone south so quickly?

  I knew how Dallas felt about his father—at least, I thought I did. He felt like he was under his father’s thumb. And he knew how I felt about his dad, too. Like he’d hated me for no reason for so long. And now that I finally opened my mouth about it, he was mad at me?

  Where did he get off?

  Grumbling to myself, I stuffed my hands in the pockets of my dad’s jacket and marched back inside. I slid my boots off, hung the plaid jacket up, and sulked back into the dining room to retake my seat.

  Now I was going to eat way too much food to try to feel less shitty about how the night had gone.

  My family was quiet and watching me. Nobody said a word.

  “What?” I asked.

  My mother and father exchanged a look. Kate just watched me, her hands placed neatly in her lap, as I stuffed my mouth with potatoes.

  My father pushed his chair out. “Elise, can we talk in private for a moment?”

  I arched an eyebrow. “Seriously?”

  “Come,” he said, tipping his head toward the den.

  “I don’t need a lecture, Dad.”

  “It’s not a lecture. It’s a discussion. And based on the behavior I just saw, you do need it. Your mother will keep your plate warm in the oven for you.”

  He’d seen right through me to my next objection, that my food would get cold. He’d cut me off by providing a solution to the problem before I voiced it. I felt like a teenager again. This was how he used to deal with Kate and me all the time when he was trying to wrangle us up to talk to us about something we’d done wrong. Or something we were supposed to do but never did. Or something we did that hurt someone else.

  I sighed and stood up. My mother and sister watched my father and I leave. He closed the door to the den behind us and flicked on the light.

  To call the room off the living room a “den” was generous. It was more of a glorified closet with just enough room for a desk and a bookcase inside. My father leaned against the wall and crossed his arms over his chest.

  “I know what you’re going to say,” I said.

  “Do you?”

  I nodded. “Yes. That I was rude. That it was none of my business to say those things about someone else’s dad. I didn’t mean to—I don’t know—hurt his feelings or anything like that.” I paused, shaking my head. I had hurt his feelings. I knew that. “I just… ugh. His dad is an asshole!”

  My father chuckled but shook his head at me. “That doesn’t matter, my dear.”

  “Then what is this about?”

  “You said those things in front of Roy, Elise. About his own grandfather. Dallas is a good man with a good heart. He doesn’t want his son thinking his grandfather is a selfish man. Or an egotistical one. He would want Roy to think nothing but good things about his only grandfather. And I can understand that.”

  Heat rushed to my cheeks. Suddenly, I felt ashamed.

  “And not only that, but you’re following in my footsteps, and I don’t want that for you.”

  “What do you mean?” I asked,

  “I lost my job because of the breakdown in communication between my boss and me. And I went above his head and reported the owner of the company. If I’d stayed my course and handled things more maturely, I might have spared us all this loss. All this chaos. I might have saved you and Kate from suffering in high school. We would have had full college funds for you girls.”

  I couldn’t look at my father’s face. There was too much emotion there. Too much pain.

  “Dad, I—”

  “Elise, honey, you have a heart of gold. You didn’t have bad intentions. But you need to fix this.”

  “This isn’t the same as what happened to you, Dad. I’m not putting myself in the same spot.”

  “No, you aren’t, but Dallas has done a lot for you. He’s put his neck on the line. He’s bent over backward to make this happen. You need to make this right with him.”

  I bit my tongue to keep myself from saying something stupid. I felt like I was fourteen again, being criticized for saying something rude or sarcastic to my mother.

  “I don’t have to do anything,” I said.

  “Of course, you don’t have to. This is your choice. But I know you. You’ll regret letting things stay like this. He came here for Thanksgiving dinner, for crying out loud, Elise. You can’t tell me that doesn’t mean something.”

  I was so confused. I rubbed my temples. “Why does it matter? I don’t need this job that badly, Dad. If working for Treo means I’m not ever going to be able to say what I want or what I’m feeling, then it’s not worth it to me. I can find a job somewhere else. I can make this work.”

  “Sweet girl.” My father sighed, taking both of my hands in his own. His grip was warm and firm. His hands were so big, they swallowed mine up. “This is your dream job. It’s everything you’ve ever wanted. You can’t throw it away over this. Not when a simple apology can fix it all.”

  “So, will I have to bite my tongue all the time, then?”

  “You’re missing the point.”

  “Then what is the point?” I cried, throwing my hands in the air. “What are you trying to get at, Dad? Just spit it out already!”

  “He loves you, Elise.”

  Those words slammed into me like a swift punch to the gut. “What?”

  “This isn’t rocket science. Dallas cares about you. And he did the smart thing when you started speaking ill of his father in front of his son. He left. He didn’t argue. He didn’t fight back. He packed up his son and left. And you know what? He’ll forgive you for it. Because of how much he cares about you.”

  My mind was spinning. I pulled out the computer chair tucked under the desk and sank into it.

  Why had I said all those things?

  Would Roy forget I’d said them? Or would he hold on to them forever, remembering that I was the one who had soiled the image he had of his grandfather?

  I shouldn’t have been so stupid. Maybe I’d had one glass of wine too many. I wasn’t drunk, though. I had let my anger toward Mark Jansen build up and build up, and then tonight, it burst out at the most inappropriate time.

  Sure, I was scared to work for him. The way he’d treated me in the past, like I was a leper trying to use his son, left a bad taste in my mouth. But people changed. And none of us were all good or all bad. Some of us just didn’t know where the line was. Or how to be good and kind.

  Dallas’s dad, in my opinion, was one of those people.

  But at the end of the day, he was still his father. And Roy’s grandfather.

  My own father had made plenty of mistakes. He’d bankrupted us. He’d destroyed our way of life and forced us to live in cheap motel rooms. Because of his decisions and his lack of action when the time was right, I’d lost my identity and the things that made me feel like me. Like my grand piano.

  I sighed and rested my head in my hands. “He’s not going to wan
t to see me.”

  There was a knock at the door. I lifted my head as Kate pushed it open and looked between me and our father. “Elise?”

  “Yes?” I asked. “Are you here to point out how dumb I am, too?”

  Kate shook her head. “No, I’m just here to throw my two cents in.”

  “Great,” I groaned.

  “Dad is right.”

  “I know he is,” I said.

  Kate must not have heard me agreeing with her because she followed up her statement by saying, “I’m your older sister. Sometimes, I know what I’m talking about. You were wrong back there. You owe it to him to at least say sorry. And if I know Dallas at all, this won’t affect your relationship working together.”

  “Kate, I know. Seriously, I get it.”

  “Then what are you still doing sitting here?” she asked.

  “Dallas would have gone to his father’s house for a second dinner. He was supposed to be there at eight. I’m not going to go and interrupt their family night.”

  “Just don’t put it off too long,” my father warned.

  “Can you two give me a minute?” I asked.

  Kate and my father gave me understanding smiles before slipping out of the den. I watched the door close.

  I could hear the muffled voices of my family as they spoke softly out in the dining room. After a couple of minutes, I heard the clatter of plates being stacked as they began clearing the table.

  What a way to spend Thanksgiving. It wasn’t the worst one I’d had, of course. The worst year was probably the first Thanksgiving after my father was fired and lost all our money. We hadn’t even had a dinner, really. We ate a bunch of snacks out of the vending machine in the hotel lobby while we watched reruns of old sitcoms on the static-filled hotel room TV. At the time, it had been horrible. But now, looking back, it was a very fond memory. A memory of all of us just being together with no distractions.

  Making it work.

  We didn’t have separate bedrooms to retreat to or fancy devices to distract us from one another. We just had the TV, which we could barely hear or see anyway. And we had each other.

  Dallas had lost a lot in his lifetime. My family had lost money, sure, but he’d lost his mother. His wife. He’d lost the chance at having a whole family of his own.

  I was the lucky one of the two of us. I still had both my parents, and I had a good relationship with them both. A wonderful relationship.

  I bit my bottom lip as tears welled up in my eyes.

  I had to make this right. I had to say I was sorry. I had to make sure he knew how I felt.

  Chapter 37

  Dallas

  My mood was sour on Friday morning as I brewed myself a cup of coffee.

  All I could think about was how Elise and I had parted last night, after dinner at her mom and dad’s house had taken a sharp turn for the worse.

  I was angry with her. I couldn’t help it. And the more I sat and thought about it, the angrier I became. I knew what kind of man my father was. I knew better than anyone. And I could say whatever I wanted about him, but I didn’t need her slandering his name all over the place, especially not in front of my son.

  And then, to top it all off, she made it quite clear that she had not forgiven me for how things went down between us in high school. She still blamed me for it. Resented me. After she had looked me in the eye the other night and told me she forgave me.

  Maybe she had no clue what that had meant to me, how much weight was lifted off my shoulders in that moment. How could she have known? She had no way of knowing that I’d been carrying around the guilt of how I treated her in high school with me all these years.

  But I had. And after only a day of reprieve from that guilt, she went and piled it back on top of me.

  As I stirred my coffee, there was a knock on my front door. Grumbling under my breath about it being too early for company, I stalked down the hall and wrenched the door open.

  “Dallas.” My father nodded in greeting. Then he looked me up and down. I was still in my sweats and a loose gray T-shirt with a toothpaste stain on the collar. “It’s eight o’clock.”

  “I’m aware.”

  My father, in contrast to me, was wearing a pair of navy slacks, brown dress shoes, and a sharp blazer over top of a white button up. He looked sleek and well put together, as always. I doubted he even owned a pair of sweats. The only time I’d ever seen him in pants with an elastic waistband was on Christmas morning.

  “Are you all right?” he asked.

  I cocked my head to the side. I couldn’t recall the last time my father asked me that. “I’m fine, Dad. I just have a lot on my mind right now.”

  He nodded and then pulled the brown leather folder out from where he had it tucked under his arm. “I was hoping you would have a minute to go through some paperwork with me. I wanted to drop this off at the office this afternoon.”

  “The office is closed.”

  “I have keys. I was going to leave it on Karen’s desk so she could file it away when she comes in on Monday morning.”

  Karen would probably appreciate that. Then she wouldn’t have to deal with my father in person. I sighed. “Yeah, I have time. Come on in. Want a coffee?”

  “Sure,” my father said, stepping over the threshold and closing the front door behind him.

  “Leave your shoes on if you like.”

  He followed me down the hall into the kitchen, where he fixed himself a cup of coffee. Then we sat at the table and went through the paperwork. Most of it was just typical business stuff. Some bills. Some employee documents. New hire packages, one of which was Elise’s. I signed it quickly and pushed it from my mind as soon as I’d moved on to the next document.

  When we were done, I stacked the papers, tapping the bottom of them against the table. My father was tucking them back into his folder when Roy emerged in the kitchen.

  “Papa.” He smiled, crossing the floor and hugging my father.

  My dad patted his head while he hugged him back. “Morning, kiddo.”

  “What are you doing here?”

  “Your dad and I had to sign some papers for work.”

  “Oh,” Roy said. Then he grinned. “Can we have breakfast?”

  I nodded. “Sure thing, kiddo. Have you eaten yet, Dad?”

  My father nodded. “Yes, but a couple hours ago. I can always make room for a little more.” He patted his stomach and winked at Roy, who giggled.

  I went to the fridge and opened it to peer inside at what we had in terms of ingredients. I was about to list off a couple options when there was another knock on the door.

  “You gotta be kidding me,” I groaned as I closed the fridge. “You two decide what you want to eat. I’ll be right back.”

  Yet again, I marched down the hall and wrenched the door open. Cold air blasted into me, and so did surprise.

  Elise was standing there. Her hair was down and straight, and her face was free of makeup. Her eyes were puffy and red. “Hey,” she said softly.

  “Hey.”

  She chewed the inside of her cheek and wrung her hands together. “Can I come in? I’d like to talk to you about last night.”

  “Come to have another go at my father?”

  She flinched and looked down at her feet. “No, I was out of line, Dallas. I came to apologize.”

  I sighed and scratched the back of my neck. “Fine. Come in. He’s here, by the way.”

  “I saw his car,” she said, hooking her thumb over her shoulder at the Range Rover in the driveway.

  I nodded and closed the front door behind her when she came inside. Then she and I walked down the hall into the kitchen. Roy was thrilled to see her and ran over, throwing himself forward and wrapping his arms around her legs. She smiled and greeted him warmly.

  Then she and my father locked eyes.

  “Hello, Mr. Jansen.” She smiled. It seemed a genuine smile to me.

  “Good morning, Elise. How are you?”

  “I’m good. D
id you have a good Thanksgiving?”

  “Yes, I think I’m still full,” he said. And he smiled, too.

  What the fuck is happening?

  My father stood up. “Dallas, I know you and Elise have some talking to do. How about Roy and I run out for breakfast?”

  “Are you good with that, Roy?” I asked my son.

  Roy nodded.

  “All right, go get changed,” I said, tipping my head toward the stairs.

  Roy hurried off and ran up the stairs. The three of us stood rather awkwardly in the kitchen, none of us knowing what to say for fear of saying the wrong thing.

  My father broke the silence first. “I was surprised to find out you were the new writer. I apologize for not realizing it sooner. I should have recognized your voice on the call.”

  Elise shook her head. “It’s all right. I’m excited to be in business with you both.”

  My father nodded. “I’m excited to read your book. Winzly speaks highly of you.”

  Elise swallowed and nodded.

  The tension in the room was thick, but they were both on their best behavior. I was grateful to both of them for that.

  As soon as Roy came down the stairs, my father clapped his hands together and announced that he was starving. He and Roy waved goodbye, and within minutes, Elise and I were alone, standing in my kitchen, looking everywhere but at each other.

  She started by clearing her throat. “Dallas, I made a mistake last night. The things I said were completely out of line, and I’m really, really sorry. I didn’t mean them. And I never should have said those things in front of Roy. I feel absolutely terrible.”

  “You’re right. You shouldn’t have said it in front of Roy.”

  “Did he say anything about it?” she asked. Her eyes were glassy.

  I shook my head. “No.”

  She nodded. “I think I owe him an apology, too.”

  “I would appreciate that.” I went and sat at the kitchen table. I gestured for her to sit and clasped my hands together, watching as she lowered herself into the chair. She seemed nervous. “Elise, why did you say those things in the first place? Did I do something wrong?”